The Firefighter

LEILA

After having my shower, I lay down to rest a bit. But it didn’t take long before I started to get restless. So I took a couple of puffs from my inhaler and walked downstairs.

I felt dizzy and weak, but I guess that was expected after inhaling all that smoke. But I would be fine.

What the doctors said about a possible lung transplant was just to scare me into taking things slow. I was still coughing up blood, but it wasn’t as bad as it was the first day.

And to be able to be around Kensie was the best medicine.

It felt weird wearing Ben’s clothes. And even weirder to kinda smell like him. I needed to buy a new soap tomorrow, that was for sure.

And a new outfit. Maybe something similar to what Ben had already bought me? I liked that, and it was comfortable.

A little smile of gratitude curled my mouth upward for everything that he’d done for us. I just hoped he didn’t have hidden thoughts about it because that… No.

It’s best not to think about it. Now I just had to see my daughter.

I stumbled around, trying to find out where they were. I knew Kensie had told me and partially showed me which room she was in when we came here, but I was so out of it that I couldn’t really remember.

Still, I found the kitchen and discovered that you could see directly into the living room. So there they were, sitting on the couch watching Scooby-Doo and eating popcorn.

And they laughed as they randomly threw a kernel at each other.

Oh, gosh. No. I don’t think I can clean that up. I’ll cough myself to death. It was hard enough just to get here from the hospital; I didn’t need to clean his house too.

Then again, I should try to do it to pay him back for everything he’d done for us.

“Kensie! Stop throwing popcorn!” I said sternly, and I saw her stiffen at being yelled at. But then she came running to give me a hug.

“Do you wanna watch cartoons with us, Mommy? Ben has lots of channels. I think he has every channel in the world, and I…”

I zoned out a bit when I noticed Ben standing next to the couch, staring at me, and I suddenly got self-conscious. So I wrapped my arms around myself and cleared my throat.

“I’m sorry for the mess she’s made. I’ll clean it up. Do you have a…”

Ben swallowed and objected.

“No! No, please. This is my fault. I… I started it.”

He licked his lips and looked like he was trying to come up with something to say.

“You’re…my clothes. I…”

I blushed. “Yeah. I’m sorry for having to borrow them.”

He interrupted me. “Don’t be! What I meant was that you look good in…um…”

Now, it was his turn to blush, and he turned away and scratched his neck.

“I think… I’ll go make some hot chocolate. Do you want some, Kensie?”

“Yeah!”

Ben swallowed one more time before he hurried past me and started rummaging around in the kitchen cabinets. But I took no further notice because I was starting to feel dizzy and worried I might faint.

So I stumbled forward to sit on the couch, feeling a few pieces of popcorn crumble underneath me. I took deep breaths to collect myself. I just needed to get myself together, and then I would clean it up.

Kensie had gone into the kitchen to help Ben, and I heard him explaining how to make hot chocolate. Then she giggled when he placed a dot of cream on her nose.

Gosh. This man truly was amazing with children, and the thoughts I had about him at the hospital made me feel bad.

But I still didn’t like the fact that he’d seen my daughter naked. I shouldn’t have allowed Kensie to stay here in the first place. But what else could I do?

Kensie walked carefully toward me with her cup of hot chocolate in her hands. Please don’t lose it, please don’t lose it! Please don’t trip and fall!

That would be so embarrassing and probably also ruin his carpet. I couldn’t afford to pay for a new one.

But luckily, she didn’t, and I drew a sigh of relief that ended up making me cough. But she placed the cup safely on the table in front of her and grinned widely.

“Look, Mommy! Look at all the cream I got.”

Before I could answer, Ben gave me a cup too and sat down next to me, not bothering to remove the popcorn.

The warmth from the cup felt good in my hands, as I was feeling a bit cold, and the sweet taste felt soothing for my sore throat.

“Are you okay?”

Ben had turned to me with a worried expression. And for the second time after he rescued us from the fire, I got lost in his eyes.

They were…gosh. They were beautiful. But I still missed my husband far too much to think about stuff like that. My life sure was complicated enough as it was.

“Yeah. I’m good. Thanks for the…” I held out the cup to show what I meant, but he didn’t pay it any attention.

“Are you sure you’re all right? You look a little pale.”

I understood that I couldn’t fool him anymore. “I just got a little dizzy, that’s all. But… Do you have a blanket or something? I’m a bit cold.”

“Yeah, of course. Just sit back and relax, and I’ll get it for you.”

While he was away, I got up and scooped up the popcorn on the couch. But when I bent down to pick up what was on the floor, I started coughing and hurried to grab a tissue I had brought from the bathroom.

Ironically enough, I was starting to get used to this now and hide that I was still bleeding. What I couldn’t get used to, though, was the extreme fatigue that made everything feel three times heavier than usual.

I suddenly felt a soft blanket being wrapped around my shoulders from behind, and I was guided back to the couch.

“Please don’t do that, Leila. I’ll do it. In fact, I can do it right away if it bothers you that much. You really need to lie down.

“Watch cartoons with Kensie and drink your hot chocolate. And I’ll make more if you want.”

He made me sit down with the blanket wrapped around me, and our eyes locked for a moment. Then he turned his gaze away. “I’ll go get the vacuum—”

“Why are you so nice to us, Ben?” I asked, interrupting.

My eyes searched for his, and he finally looked at me again.

“I… I don’t really know. There’s… I just… Something tells me to do it, and you really need it.”

I looked down at the cup resting in my hands on my lap. A little ocean of white foam gradually melted into the brown liquid.

“But I never asked for it. Well, other than these last two days, when Kensie had already stayed with you and knew you.”

Ben didn’t answer. Instead, he stepped closer and put his hand on my shoulder.

“I don’t know why, Leila. I just need to. Please let me.”