You Taught Me to Fly

Friday couldn’t come soon enough. The minutes seemed to crawl by at a snail’s pace. I tried everything I could think of to distract myself from the anticipation of what the afternoon might bring.

When lunchtime finally rolled around, I hoped the rest of the day would speed up. But it didn’t. Instead of counting down the minutes to the end of the last period, I found myself counting down the minutes until Elijah might show up.

Those forty minutes felt like the longest of my life. But it was worth it when Elijah walked in fifteen minutes earlier than usual, making my heart jump into my throat.

My breath hitched when his gaze flicked my way for a brief moment. His lips twitched into a smile before he disappeared seconds later. His friends immediately started snickering, which was the only downside.

I couldn’t breathe.

Did he really just smirk at me?

“Dude, did you SEE that?!” Autumn exclaimed. I turned to look at her slowly, my brain slowly processing that it had really happened.

“You saw…”

“Elijah grinning at you as he walked by, yes!” She looked thrilled.

“And I…”

“Stared right back.”

Shit!

“So he saw…”

Her smile started to fade. “You look panicked.”

She wasn’t wrong. But “panicked” didn’t seem to cover it. This was far more intense. Was there even a word for this?

Elijah wasn’t supposed to see me staring at him. I’m sure his friends had whispered rumors about it, but it was different when the object of your crush actually catches you staring at them.

Oh god, what have I done?!

I felt a hand on my arm and jumped. It was just my sister. Her hand stayed there.

“Hey,” she said gently, “it’s okay, Luke. I’m sure he’s flattered.”

I shook my head. No, he wouldn’t be flattered. He’d be horrified. He was just nice enough not to show it…at least not around me. That’s why his friends had started snickering.

I rested my head on my folded arms on the table. It was all over now.

When it was time for rehearsals, a time that had once seemed to take forever to arrive, I found myself frozen at the closed theater doors, painfully aware of who was on the other side.

My anxiety-ridden brain played out scenario after scenario of what could happen the moment I stepped through those doors. All of them were unpleasant, all of them ended with everyone in the theater laughing and making fun of me.

But when I finally walked in, nothing happened. Nobody looked up, least of all Elijah. He didn’t start in on how someone like me dared to have a crush on someone like him. Nobody pointed, nobody laughed.

The only significant thing that happened was the director expressing his relief that I was here.

I didn’t dare look at Elijah as I headed towards the back of the stage. This was going to be a long afternoon.

Around five, the director called all of us, cast and crew, to the stage to “try something new.”

To my horror, this involved the cast running lines with people they’d never run lines with before, which included the crew.

He left us to pair off. Everyone found a partner, except Elijah…and me.

“Is there really nobody here who’s never run lines with Eli?” the director asked.

That’s when Elijah’s gaze fell on me.

That’s when I realized the truth.

I was the only one.

Apparently, he’d already run lines with the crew outside of class, having taken the initiative to challenge himself creatively (which only made me more attracted to him).

I stood frozen in fear.

The director noticed Elijah’s stare, and looked at me. He began to smile.

“Found him?” He asked, looking back at Elijah.

He nodded, his eyes gentle, his expression serious.

Oh god, I thought, oh god, oh god, oh god…

“Alright, guys! Get to it!”

The cast and crew spread out through the theater. Elijah headed towards his bag on one of the center theater seats in the front row.

I remained frozen by the steps to the stage, knowing I should meet him halfway, but my body refused to move.

He approached slowly, holding two scripts. He looked as awkward about this as I felt. But then he smiled, handed me a script, and said:

“I don’t bite, you know.”

I forced a laugh that sounded too forced, took the script, and said:

“I know. I’m just…not good at…uhm…”

His eyes softened with understanding.

“All you gotta do is read the cues. I have them highlighted.”

I opened the script and saw what he meant.

I could do this.

…If I didn’t focus on the fact that I was standing two feet away from the one guy in the whole school that I had a massive crush on. Yeah, I could totally do that.

“So, we’re going to start with scene three, if you don’t mind. It’s the one I have the most trouble remembering.”

I nodded, found scene three, and saw I started first with a cue. So we began. My hands shook so badly, and no matter how hard I tried, they wouldn’t stop.

By the time we finished the script about forty minutes later, I had relaxed and was even having a bit of fun.

I had no future in acting, but I got to watch his expressions up close. I got to see what he looked like when he was concentrating. I even shared some laughs with him when he got lost in the moment and over-gestured or spoke too loudly, then became self-conscious about it.

His passion was boundless. His passion was amazing. I was completely captivated.

Just as we finished the script, the director called the cast back together for more practice.

Honestly? I was bummed out, knowing I probably wouldn’t get another shot like this.

It was the perfect time to speak up, but I choked, said my goodbyes, and headed back to work. It was hours before the director finally let us leave.

When that time came, a quick look at my watch showed it was almost nine at night. Sure, it was Friday, so I wasn’t worried about homework, but still, it always surprised me how late we sometimes worked.

Just as I was about to leave the spot where I’d stashed my bag, a seat in the front row on the left side of the auditorium (when looking out from the stage), Elijah walked up to me, making my heart race.

“Hi,” I said softly, unable to meet his gaze for long.

I’d noticed the warmth in his expression, though, the kindness radiating from his stunning blue eyes.

“Hey. So, I had a lot of fun running lines earlier.”

I stared at him, completely taken aback. He’d had fun? With me?? No way.

“How?” I blurted out. Instantly, I regretted it and didn’t know how to fix it.

He laughed. “That right there is how. You’re not stuck-up. You don’t judge me for not knowing my lines yet.

“And you don’t try to outshine me. Don’t get me wrong, I love this group, but a lot of them are super competitive.”

I’d noticed. This time I kept quiet, it was the smartest move. Who knew what other dumb thing I’d say?

“So, anyway, I was wondering if you…maybe…wanted to go again tomorrow? Outside of school?”

My heart pounded so loudly; I barely heard myself agreeing. Of course, my mind instantly started freaking out about the idea of being with him outside of school.

What would people think?? Still, I wanted to go.

“Yeah?” he looked…was that relief? “I mean, that’s great!”

I was so confused by how—I decided it was relief—relieved he looked.

“Don’t most people want to practice with you?”

He shrugged, his expression closing off a bit.

“It’s Saturday, most people want to have fun on the weekends which really sucks because there’s a lot of lines to memorize and not a lot of time and I—”

“I’d be happy to help any way I can,” I interrupted, immediately kicking myself for interrupting. “Sorry, that was rude.”

He smiled a little bit. “I appreciate it, though. I. Uhm. I guess we should exchange numbers?”

Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, God.

You need to breathe; a voice in my head reminded me.

Easier said than done, I shot back.

With shaking hands that I hoped he didn’t notice, I handed him my phone so he could put in his number.

When he handed me his phone afterwards, I felt like I was going to faint. It was a miracle I didn't drop it, honestly.

Was this really happening?? Or was I just daydreaming again?

With my number in his phone (which I had to triple check to make sure I’d put it in right, I was so nervous), I handed it back and put my phone in my pocket.

I had no idea what to say next.

“So, thanks for your help today.” God, his eyes were so blue up close. “I’ll text you later?”

“Are you going to the dance?” I asked instead of responding like a normal, sane person would.

I'd even had the right words in my head but somehow that turned into a question about an event I used to not care about? My mind was...weird.

He blinked. “There’s a dance?”

At first I thought he was serious and couldn’t understand how he’d missed all the posters, and I mean all the posters, plastered on every bulletin board and then some around the school.

Then he grinned, and I realized he was just messing with me. I really needed to get a grip.

…That sounded wrong.

Oh, crap, now all I could think about was—

Luke! I scolded myself.

I forced a laugh; aloud to him I said: “You got me!”

He was smiling again and man, if that wasn't such a beautiful sight to see so up close.

“Seriously, though," he replied, "yeah, I was thinking of going even though I don’t have a date.”

I bit my tongue so hard on that one, resisting the urge to ask him myself. No way was that ever happening.

“You’re the most popular guy in the school. Everyone’s gonna be thrilled that you showed up. Plenty will dance with you.”

He nodded with a little shrug. “You’re not wrong there. Are you going?”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” His look of surprise had me adding on: “Because I have social anxiety and…it’s just…”

Wait. Had I just admitted...out loud...that I was mentally challenged in any way? Why had I done that?! Something about him was breaking down my defenses. ...I kind of liked it.

“Oh, I understand. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen you at any of the dances.”

I nodded at him. “Social anxiety.”

He smiled yet again, his eyes were so kind, and his lips looked so soft. I bet he was a good kisser.

Ooh, to kiss him...to just...lean in, and feel those lips on mine while his arms pulled me in closer...

Luke…stop it.

“You helped me today," Elijah was saying, "so I wanna help you. Will you grant me one dance tonight?”

And there went my breathing again.

“Y…you want to…dance…”

He nodded. “It’s a lot of fun, I promise.”

“But…your friends…”

“Yes, they will give me shit, but it’s my life, and you should experience at least one high school dance.”

Oh god. Oh god.

Oh. My. God.

Now I had to be hallucinating.

Then he touched my arm, sending me further into my frenzy. “Please, Lucas?”

Ohhh, to hear him say my name. This was officially too much.

I found myself saying, “Sure, sounds like a blast,” before I could even come up with a reason to decline.

Elijah’s face lit up, looking so irresistibly excited. I mean, seriously, who needs oxygen?

“Alright. I need to head home and change, but I’ll see you soon.”

I just nodded, and then he was off, leaving the auditorium.

As soon as he was out of sight, my legs gave out and I sank into one of the nearby seats, gasping for breath.

My hands were trembling something fierce. Actually, my whole body was shaking, and there was only one person in the world I could spill my guts to about this: Autumn.

It...just...took me a few minutes to get my jittery fingers to cooperate long enough to text her to come get me.