Chaotic Soul
EMMA
I lay on my bed, trying to process everything that happened.
He wanted to use me as his sex toy, only for fucking. It made me so mad, and I had no idea why I was mad.
It was not like I wanted him to like me and go on a date with me…or did I?
He was making me go crazy. This was way too much to handle.
I thought about how good it felt when he touched me. The masochistic part of me wanted to agree to it and enjoy it, but another part of me knew the consequences of what would happen if I caught feelings for him.
He would never reciprocate it, which would tear me apart.
I screamed into my pillow, feeling frustrated, and kept tossing and turning until I fell asleep. Fuck you, Austin Williams. I’m not gonna let you win.
The next morning, I didn’t feel like getting up from bed and snuggled under my sheets, ignoring the sounds of my stomach growling for food.
It was Sunday, and I was too lazy to do anything. I heard my phone ringing and sat up on the bed, praying it wasn’t the devil himself. It was Ashley. I sighed in relief and picked up the call.
“Hey, babe,” I said in a sleepy voice.
“I have some huge news,” she squealed in excitement, making me laugh.
“I’m all ears.” I laughed and climbed out of bed, making my way toward the kitchen to make some coffee.
“Jake and I are engaged.” My eyes went wide in excitement, and I couldn’t control my happiness.
“Oh my god, Ashley, that’s fucking awesome. When did this happen? How? Where?” I kept bombarding her with questions, not letting her speak.
“Breath, Em.” She giggled, and I could imagine her rolling her eyes at me. I sat down on the couch with my cup of coffee as she told me about the entire proposal and finished with a sigh.
“Awww, that’s so romantic. God, you guys are so lucky to have each other. I think I’m gonna cry, Ash.”
I almost had tears in my eyes. I was so happy for them. Those two have been through a lot and deserved all the happiness in the world.
“I’m happy too; it still feels like a dream.” I could hear her voice break a little.
“I’m calling dibs on being the maid of honor,” I shouted, trying to cheer her up.
“Of course, it’s you. Who else would it be? You are my best friend, Em.” Okay, now I was crying for real. I cleared my throat before responding.
“So, when’s the big day?” I asked with a smile on my face.
“We decided to get married after my graduation.” After her graduation? I frowned at her response.
“But that’s a long time from now, Ash,” I said, while sipping on my coffee, savoring the taste of it.
“I know, but I don’t want to get married while I’m in school, and Jake agreed to it.” Of course, he would. I rolled my eyes at her response.
“Jake agrees to anything you say, but I get it. After all, it’s your wedding, babe.”
“Yeah, and you better come to our house next week. No more studying excuses. We all missed you yesterday, and Austin also left halfway through the game. It was pretty boring.”
She kept talking while I zoned out upon hearing that Austin left halfway through the game.
He could be infuriating at times, but at the same time, I couldn’t help but smile at the thought that he came all the way for me. “Emma?” she shouted through the phone, breaking my train of thought.
“Yeah, I’m listening.” I gave a nervous chuckle.
“So, I’ll see you next weekend?” she asked hopefully, and I couldn’t come up with any kind of lie immediately.
“Yeah, sure,” I agreed but decided to call in sick or something at the last moment. Now, I just hoped he wouldn’t visit me.
“Great, I got to go now. Take care, Em. Love you.”
“Bye, love you.”
I ended the call, feeling much better after talking to her.
I blocked Austin out of my mind completely and went to find his card on the kitchen counter. I didn’t have the heart to throw it out, so I kept it along with my other cards and went to take a nice shower.
The rest of the day was spent with me catching up on my favorite Netflix shows in bed and relaxing.
***
“So, who is he?” Liam kept nagging me the next day. I was pretending to focus on the lecture, ignoring him.
“I’ll tell you after class, Liam.” I gave him a murderous look, and he groaned at my response. Finally, the class was over, and we walked toward the cafeteria.
“So?” he asked again as we sat down to eat.
“He is a friend of Ashley’s boyfriend,” I replied vaguely and started nibbling on my sandwich.
“You guys dating or something?” he asked in a low voice, not meeting my eyes.
“No, H-he wanted my help regarding some legal issue,” I blurted without thinking and groaned internally. At least, it was pretty convincing.
“Yeah, sure.” He scoffed, and I glared at his tone. Was it so hard to believe?
“Hey, I am smart enough to give legal advice, and he gets it for free. I don’t see him complaining,” I muttered, pissed at both Liam and that stupid hot jerk.
“I was just kidding, Em. That’s why he mentioned ‘unfinished business.’ He was pretty intimidating though,” he said more to himself than me while I kept my focus on my sandwich, “I think you should ask him for money. You can’t do it for free.”
I almost choked on my food at his response. I wonder how he would react if I told him that he wanted to sleep with me and not legal advice.
“I don’t mind, Liam. Anyway, I was thinking about studying together this weekend. Are you up for it?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“Actually, I was thinking about inviting you to this party that my roommate is hosting. You should come, Emma,” he said with a hopeful look on his face.
“I don’t know, dude. It will be weird,” I whined and tried to get out of it as parties weren’t my thing.
“Come on, it will be fun, and I’ll be with you the whole time.” He gave me his puppy dog eyes and that’s when I had an idea. I could avoid Austin by going to this party in case he decided to visit me. Ha, I win, Austin Williams.
“All right, I’ll come. Stop begging, jeez.” I laughed which made him roll his eyes and we both got up to leave.
For the rest of the week, I was busy with my studies which helped me not to think about Austin. Of course, that wasn’t the case at night. My sleep was completely ruined by those hazel eyes.
I could not forget about the way he made me feel. I tried to fight the burning ache in my core every time I thought about him, but it was useless.
I wondered why he didn’t visit me till now. Maybe he had found someone else to keep him busy. The thought of it made my stomach churn.
Brushing my thoughts aside, I started getting ready for the party. Liam was about to pick me up in half an hour. I quickly sent a text to Ash saying that I was feeling under the weather, and she seemed to have bought it.
I felt bad about lying to her and going to a party, but I desperately wanted to avoid Austin. If I saw him again, I would honestly agree with whatever he said and probably ask him to fuck me senseless.
I hated that he made me feel so weak and vulnerable.
I quickly combed my blonde hair and straightened out my red dress that hugged my figure. I decided to go bold with red lipstick and smoky eyes.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror and smiled, satisfied with the way I looked. I heard a knock and quickly collected my phone, stuffed it in my bag, and made my way toward the door.
“Hey, shall we go?” I said as I opened the door to find Liam dressed in a light blue button-down shirt and blue jeans.
“Jesus, you…you look amazing.” He looked shocked at seeing me and I laughed at his expression, locking the door behind me.
“You do clean up well, Lewis.” He cleared his throat as we both walked toward his car and got in.
“I wish I could say the same, buddy.” I teased him and he shook his head with a small smile.
We reached his house in ten minutes, and I could hear the music blasting from outside. The party was in full swing. I could see empty cups all over the porch and lawn and it was pretty crowded.
I took a huge breath and mentally prepared myself for the night.
“Ready?” He turned to me, and I gave a small nod. We both entered the house and I saw Liam nodding at a few people. Some guys whistled as we walked past them. Ugh, what is this? High school?
“Ignore them. Stay right here and I’ll get us some punch.”
He walked away while I stood against the wall and took a look around.
I could see people having a good time and some people were making out on the couch. Woah, more than making out. Jeez, get a room, people!
“Hey, Emma.” I turned my head to the sound of an unfamiliar voice. I saw a short guy with jet-black hair and geeky glasses.
“I’m Peter, Liam’s roommate. I’ve heard so much about you,” he smiled and offered his hand.
“Nice to meet you, Peter,” I smiled and shook his hand. Liam joined us shortly and offered me a drink that burned down my throat.
Peter was a techie, and he kept talking about random technology stuff, which was so boring that I emptied the cup in a few minutes. It was pretty strong, and I started to feel a bit tipsy.
“Want to get some fresh air outside?” Liam whispered in my ear, clearly understanding my misery, and I was more than glad to escape his boring roommate. I nodded my head eagerly, which made him laugh.
“Dude, we are going to meet some of my friends outside. Be right back,” Liam shouted over the music, and they exchanged a man hug. We made our way toward the door, and I was greeted by a gush of icy wind that made me shiver a bit.
“Thank God, I thought I might die of boredom,” I joked while we walked toward the front yard.
“He gets excited when he talks about computers and stuff, sorry about that,” he laughed, scratching the back of his head.
“Hey, I’m having a good time, no need to apologize, dude,” I smiled at him, and he held my stare longer than usual. Maybe I was just imagining it.
He moved a strand of hair from my eyes and kissed me suddenly, making my eyes go wide in shock. I pushed him away from me and looked at him confused.
Was he that drunk? ~We had only one drink. Why did he kiss me?~
“Liam, what are you—” The rest of my sentence was cut off as someone punched his face. What the actual fuck?
I gasped and looked at Liam in horror. He held his bleeding nose and groaned in pain. I turned around to see the person responsible for punching him.
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! How the hell did he find me here? So much for avoiding him.