Help Me, Alpha: The Finale

HAYLEY

As soon as I reach the packhouse, I sweep the house myself. It's not that I don't trust the females, but old habits die hard.

Besides, I don't think there's a single wolf in here who is prepared to get in my way.

I find myself finally in Lily's room. As I stand at the door and fully take in her absence, the reality of the situation becomes haunting.

I try not to acknowledge what's in the back of my mind. I can't face the prospect that I won't see my daughter again. I just can't.

I manage to walk to her bed, letting myself drop in exhaustion.

I gaze around her room, at the play shoes on the floor, her books, her dolls. I still have the piece of Lily's bloody dress in my hands.

In all my life, I haven't loved someone the way I love my daughter.

I adore my mate; that goes without saying, but this is different.

This is a mother's love.

Where is my little girl?

I don't bother holding back my tears; there's no use. This pregnancy has me reeling with emotions I didn't know I could feel.

Jax is still out looking, and I still haven't heard from him.

He's been shutting me out more and more since the threat of the humans. Now, the idea of losing Lily is bound to put more distance between us.

I feel my heart breaking. I yearn for him and Lily. All I want is my family back.

I want to tell Jax about the baby. I need to tell him, but now I can't think about what he will say.

I remember how he looked as he ran into the woods. I know he's under pressure and as scared as I am for Lily, but I need him more than ever.

I hope he knows that we need each other.

With the piece of Lily's dress clenched in my hand, I close my eyes, trying to mind-link with Jax.

I can't give up on him, on us. Not now.

"My love, I'm home. I'm waiting for you."

I wait patiently for a sign of him. There's nothing, and they're still not back. I'm beginning to worry.

I don't hear Isabella come up the stairs. She startles me as she walks in.

"Oh my dear," she soothes, "come here."

Sitting beside me, I feel her arm wrap around my convulsing shoulders. I'm crying from the deepest place of my soul. My two most important people are gone; I don't know what to do.

"I feel so useless, so helpless!" The frustration is clear in my voice, clearer still in my eyes.

"I know this is hard, but I won't pretend to know what you're going through," she breathed heavily, "Lily is a beautiful little pup that we all love dearly; we are going to find her."

I want to smile and let her know I appreciate her kindness and optimism, but I'm tormented by the thought of her loss being final.

How could I ever handle that?

"Has there been any word from Jax? From anyone?" I ask, holding onto all the hope I can.

Isabella looks down at her hands before throwing her hair into a bun, "No, Luna, not yet. How about we go downstairs? I'll make you a cup of tea?"

If I could have my way, I'd stay hidden upstairs with my sorrows, but I know she's right. In her way, this is how she's supporting Luna.

A hot cup of tea isn't the solution, but it's a comfort I severely need.

As we head downstairs to the central kitchen, the pups and the women scuttle around. Though I'm comforted by my pack, the sound of the pups sends a twinge of pain flooding back into my heart.

I start to feel faint again. Isabella notices, "Oh, you need to sit; come here," she guides me to the bench, my tea cup already there and steaming.

"It's peppermint; it will calm your nerves."

I don't look up, but my intuition says she's cleared the kitchen, at least for now. I think everyone can see I need to be able to hear my thoughts.

Suddenly, it's a lot quieter.

"That's better," Isabella smiles before giving me a gentle rub on the back.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, Luna, shoot!"

"Am I going crazy here? The day we announce the official adoption and Lily's position is the same day she goes missing."

"You're not going crazy, but I've been thinking the same thing. This is very off to me."

"Wolves surround her; her alpha is always right there. Well, most of the time. How could this happen?"

The more I keep asking the question, the less helpful it is. Isabella has no more information than I do.

"Have you heard from Jax?" Isabella asks hesitation in her voice. I want to open up to her; she's the kindest person I've ever met, but something holds me back.

I'm still her luna, and some matters belong between me and my mate. I can't tell her about the distance between us.

"No," I sigh, "I know he's looking for our girl. He'll come back with something."

"See? Now you've got it!" she said smiling, "There's no way he's coming home without Lily."

I manage to smile this time because I know that Isabella's right. I know I can count on Jax to make this right.

Something is troubling me, and it's worth asking, "Do you think that someone close to us is responsible for this?" I ask in a hushed tone. The last thing I want is another member to overhear my suspicions. For all I know, it could start an uproar.

"From our pack?" Isabella replies in shock. Instantly, I feel I've crossed some imaginary line, but my intuition is harder to ignore as this pregnancy progresses.

I don't want to imply that I suspect a pack member, but I cannot come to terms with the timing of all of this.

"I know that this is a desperate moment, and if I were in your place, I'd be scrambling for answers too, " she sighs, "but I think the best thing we can do is wait for the alpha to bring us news."

"Am I jumping to conclusions?"

"I wouldn't go that far, but I don't want you to stress out until we're sure."

I nod in agreement, hoping she doesn't think I don't trust them.

I notice the sun setting low, its soft glow an inviting escape as I stare out the window.

As Isabella gets up to attend to a crying pup, I sip my tea and try to mind-link Jax again.

"Baby, please tell me you've found something!"

Isabella sits down again beside me, "Anything?" I shake my head no, wanting to sob uncontrollably again.

As I sit here, the anticipation is growing and, with it, feelings of nausea. My emotions are heightened, and I wonder if Isabella has put the pieces together.

For a moment, I consider it, telling her about the baby. But again, I keep the news to myself. Jax must be the first to know.

Suddenly, Isabella points out the kitchen window, "There they are!"

Every fiber wants to jump up and run outside to meet them, but I hold back. After the scenario earlier, I'd rather not push my mate to the edge.

The door to the packhouse opens, and the three companions head toward us. I see by the look on their faces that my daughter isn't with them, which means the search didn't go well.

I don't get up; I let them approach.

"Jax?" I say, looking at him, wishing he would say something.

He remains silent.

Axton begins, looking down at the piece of Lily's dress, "Hayley, I'm sorry, I…, we lost her scent."

I'm struck speechless; it's as if I can feel my mind separating from my body.

How can this be true? This must be a mistake.

"What does that mean?" I continue, unwilling to wait for his explanation, "Where is Lily? Jax! Where is our daughter?"

Jax remains silent, staring out the same window at the same sunset. I feel panic rising in my stomach again.

Samantha steps forward. I wouldn't say I like the sight or the smell of her; the growl in my belly is fierce, but from the look on my mate's face, I need to remain in control.

The last thing Jax needs is to break up a fight between the pregnant luna and a warrior wolf.

"Luna, we found this," she says, putting another torn piece of Lily's dress on the table beside my part.

With a gasp, I see there's more blood.

Finally, Jax breaks the trance, and his eyes follow mine to the table. With a furious growl, he loses control, sending the heavy oak table across the room.

I realize one thing.

The damage has been done.