I Was A Bitch

Is it typical for friends to tell each other, “I love you”? Was Finn my best friend? My gay best friend? My straight best friend?

Why did he seem to have such a distaste for Jerkface and not care for Claire and Melissa? This memory loss was really taking a toll on me.

“Come in!” I called out.

The door swung open and my mom walked in, her face lit up with a smile.

“Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?” she asked, her smile warm and comforting.

“I’m good,” I replied quickly.

“And your... memory?”

“Still the same. I can’t remember anything past my sixteenth birthday...” I confessed.

I didn’t mind being honest with my mom. She already knew, anyway.

“Oh. Well, we’ll do our best to help you remember.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Another knock at the door. I wanted to sigh and pretend I was asleep. I just wanted some alone time to sort through my thoughts and scroll through my phone.

Seeing my mom or dad was hard because they felt like strangers, and I had no idea what had transpired between us in the two years that were missing from my memory.

“Come in,” I said, trying to sound pleasant.

“Hey babe.” The deep, sexy voice instantly lifted my spirits.

Derek. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his handsome face. He was undoubtedly the most attractive man I had ever seen in person. And he was all mine.

I glanced at the clock on my phone. It was 6:27 a.m. So…that meant he was Jerkface to Finn then? Why would he call him that?

And why would he think I’d be okay with him calling my boyfriend Jerkface? My new life was so strange.

If I had woken up at sixteen with two months of blankness, it wouldn’t have been hard to catch up since nothing exciting would have happened.

“Hey.” I greeted him with a warm smile.

“I’m going to leave you two alone,” my mom quickly said before leaving the room.

Derek moved closer to my bed and sat down next to me.

“You look different without makeup,” he said, smiling.

Was this the first time he had seen me without makeup?

From what I had gathered, we had been together for four months! Plus, we had apparently slept together, so I must have stayed the night and removed my makeup, right?

I couldn’t believe I had slept with him and didn’t remember it. Was it good? Awkward? Painful? Loving? I had seen this model-like man naked and I didn’t even remember it. Why was life so unfair? Wait.

That meant he had seen me naked too. Panic started to rise within me at that thought, but then it hit me. I was attractive now. And I had an amazing body.

“Lacey?” he asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

Oops, I guess I had been lost in my thoughts for a while.

“Sorry, you were saying something?”

“Just asking if you’re okay. You seem…disturbed. Is everything all right?”

“Yeah, I’m just a little tired. I woke up at four.”

“Okay.” He took my hand in his, and I felt myself blushing. “Do you know when you’ll be back at school?”

School. Oh my God. School.

How was I supposed to catch up on two years of school that I didn’t remember?

“Not yet. They have to run some more tests, I think.”

“I can’t wait for you to come back. You didn’t miss much, except for all the games we won. And don’t worry, babe, you’re still the queen.”

The queen? What was he talking about?

“Oh, really?” I asked, hoping he would elaborate.

“Yeah. Claire filled in, but no one can replace Lacey Jones.” He smiled.

“Besides, Claire doesn’t have the advantage of having the most popular guy in school as her boyfriend.”

And I was? How was that even possible? Claire looked so perfect!

She seemed like the kind of girl who would be at the top of the social ladder. You know, the girls who were popular and got invited to all the parties. But then again…so did I now. Oh my God. Was I one of those girls? Was I…popular?

I wanted to laugh at the idea of me, Lacey Amanda Jones, being popular, the queen of high school, like Derek had suggested, but it seemed more plausible now that I looked the way I did.

The texts I had exchanged with Claire and Melissa came back to mind. I was talking like a mean girl in those. Was this who I was now? The queen bee of high school?

No. This couldn’t be possible.

I had never been popular, I couldn’t possibly be now. Right?

“I guess not,” I replied, managing a small smile.

Derek’s phone started ringing and he picked it up.

“Shit. I have to go or I’ll be late for school.”

“I just wanted to stop by before school to see how you were since I’m going to football camp tonight and won’t be able to see you for the week.”

“Oh!”

“I hadn’t mentioned it, had I?” Derek bit his lip, looking regretful.

“If you did, I don’t remember it,” I said.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Well yeah, I’ll be gone for the week. But I promise I’ll text you as much as I can, babe.”

“Okay.”

“You’re not mad, are you?”

“No, no, it’s fine,” I assured him, smiling.

He grinned, looking a bit relieved, then stood up. I didn’t want him to leave yet; I needed to know more about this me being popular thing. Plus, I really didn’t mind gazing at his handsome face a bit longer.

“I gotta go, babe, I’m sorry,” Derek said.

And then he leaned down and quickly kissed me. His lips barely brushed mine, so I didn’t even have time to react. Good.

I guess it was good to not have a full-on proper kiss for now since I still didn’t quite know him and Finn was referring to him as Jerkface, so there must have been something I was missing.

“I wish I had more time to properly kiss you, but I’m running late. Coach is going to have my head,” Derek said, sounding apologetic.

“It’s okay, go! I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

He flashed me a smile before heading out the door.

Once he was gone, I picked up my phone and saw that my battery was on its last legs. I only had twenty percent left.

I chewed on my lip. Another I love you. What did that mean?

It probably meant nothing since Derek was my boyfriend, but still…why did my stomach flutter so much when Finn called me Lace-bear?

It was a cute nickname, I had to admit. I picked up the small makeup bag Claire had left behind and realized I was clueless about most of the stuff in it, except for mascara and blush.

I had no idea how to do that winged eyeliner thing or how to apply eyeshadow like Claire did.

I picked up the kohl pencil and drew a black line like I’d been doing since I was fifteen, then applied mascara, a touch of blush, and some lipstick. It didn’t look too bad, especially since I’d somehow become beautiful.

I hoped Finn would like it. Wait. No. No, I didn’t. Why would I hope that? Finn was... I didn’t even know what he was to me, but he wasn’t my boyfriend, so it didn’t matter if he liked it or not! Right?

Still, I wanted to look decent before he arrived, so I grabbed the brush from my bedside table and pulled my hair up into a high ponytail.

I caught my reflection in the Camera app on my iPhone and smiled. If I had been reincarnated, I was damn glad it was in this body.

My phone buzzed with a new text.

It was from Finn, of course.

I quickly typed back nope, and the doorknob turned just a few seconds later. My stomach was doing somersaults as I waited in anticipation. What did he look like? Would it be awkward? Would he tell me he loved me again?

What was I supposed to say in response?

I let out a sigh of disappointment when my mom walked in. Shit. I grabbed my phone and typed as fast as I could.

“Derek left already? I brought back two coffees.”

She held up the two cups to prove her point and set one down on my bedside table.

“Be careful, it’s hot,” she warned.

I frowned. Was I supposed to like coffee now?

“Oh, thanks!” I said quickly.

She raised an eyebrow, looking curious.

“So, how are you? Any memories come back?”

“Yeah, um, about that, could you please not talk about my memory loss to anyone for now?

“I want to figure out some things on my own before announcing that I have two years missing. And who knows, they might come back soon.”

“Of course, sweetie.”

“So, how’s James?” I asked, changing the subject and curious to know more about my brother.

“James is um… Well, he’s being James.” She laughed a little. “He dropped out of college and backpacked through Europe, and now, he settled in South America. He’s… looking for himself.”

“That sounds so cool!”

“We called him to tell him about you and he said he would catch the next flight when he could get his hands on some money.”

“Oh! Yeah, he doesn’t have to…”

“Of course he does, honey!” She interrupted me. “When he heard you were in the hospital, he was devastated. He thought that he had lost you forever so he said he ‘had to get out of here’ and left for South America.”

“Oh, wow, I didn’t um… I can’t even begin to imagine what I put you through during those two months…” I bit my lip.

“Oh honey, it wasn’t your fault.” She hugged me and her familiar embrace brought me back to my childhood.

Suddenly, she didn’t feel as much as a stranger. “These two years have been a little… rocky for both of us, but I’m so glad that you’re back Lacey.”

“What do you mean, rocky?” I asked my question out loud for once.

“Nothing. I won’t bother you with it now.” She pulled out of the hug and smiled. “I have to get to work, but Dad will come back tonight, and I will be back tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” I tried to smile back as genuinely as I could.

She said bye before leaving the room, and I let my head fall back on my pillow with a little thump. God, this situation was exhausting! I picked up my phone and texted Finn that he could come now.

I heard a knock just two minutes later and checked stupidly if I looked presentable before clearing my throat and saying, “come in.”