
The Heart Thief
Author
Zainab Sambo
Reads
1.0M
Chapters
35
Chapter 1
MILLIE
Life is like a punch: either you dodge it or you get hit. Itâs a constant battle to keep your balance and avoid being dragged down.
Iâd never been able to avoid anything. Iâd taken a lot of punches, but I was determined to get back up. My mother described it as my worst trait: adapting to the tragic life Iâd been dragged into.
I never seemed to fight for anything, and as a result, Iâd lost many yearsâyears of being someone I could have been. It was as if life had a vendetta against me for not being like everyone elseâfor not seizing opportunities, making risky moves, and being spontaneous. Life simply despised me.
Weâd had a strange relationship for years. It fucked me over whenever I thought it was going to love me. It crumbled me every time I thought I understood it.
I was a thirty-two-year-old woman with no control over my life or my nonexistent love life. If life was frightening, relationships were even more so. My mother assumed I had commitment issues. Then she assumed I was gay, and then she assumed I was a sociopath. Finally, she accepted that her daughter was not destined to be with anyone.
I had never really shied away from relationships. I just hadnât met the one, as corny as it may sound, who lit me up. It was about someone who made me want to talk every day, with whom I wanted to share things, with whom I could talk all night.
Lately, all men wanted was a way to end up in your bed. There was no connection at all. No chemistry, no slow burn. No more crushes. It was simply lust at first sight.
I may not have been in a relationship to know what I was talking about, but I overheard a lot of conversations in the break room. My coworkersâ relationship stories were enough to paint a picture for me.
It was draining. It was hard. It was a battle, and everybody just wanted to survive it. And it was simply not for me yet.
Senior year was the closest Iâd come to being in a relationship, but I wouldnât call it a relationship. It was more of a desire for contact. A need to satiate the craving of a horny teenage girl.
Iâd never had many friends when I was younger. I was never invited to any parties. Sure, I had talked to people, but they never stayed long enough to be considered friends. I was comfortable with that.
I had grown so accustomed to not having friends that when I started college, I made no attempt to make any. I never got to enjoy being young, free, and legal. I never went to college parties, smoked, or got high.
I knew Iâd missed out on a lot by the time I arrived. I didnât get to experience and do the things that girls my age did as teenagers and young women. I had none. There were no happy memories to share with my children.
It never bothered me how much I liked being alone. It still terrified my mother. She scheduled me for friendship dates that I bailed on, as well as dates with her friendâs son, which I canceled at the last minute.
It used to irritate and concern her, but sheâd given up. She realized she couldnât change who I was once I turned thirty. However, when I blew my thirty-second birthday, I realized I needed to change.
That was the day I awoke feeling different, and I suddenly saw all my regrets. I panicked when I realized I had nothing but a job with a boss I despised. That day changed me because it forced me to confront the reality I was living in.
I couldnât go another thirty-two years like that. I didnât want to keep going through the same monotonous routine. I wanted to enjoy what life had to offer.
I wanted love. I wanted passion. I wanted to be desired. I wanted what everyone got. Above all, I wanted excitement.
The first step had been to summon the courage to embark on a dating adventure. For the first time, I decided to dress up, following the path that led to a slew of hot guys flowing in and out, desperate to sink my teeth into someone hot.
However, the night ended with me refusing to speak to anyone. No one came over to talk to me, and no one bought me drinks, so I guessed that only happened in movies.
Dating sites were next on my list. I thought it would be easier to learn more about someone before going out on a date. There were more older, unattractive men than good-looking ones.
Still, I told myself, You look for beauty on the inside first. It was complete bullshit that the world tried to feed us. Beauty on the inside was desirable, but so was beauty on the outside. Nobody wanted to date someone they werenât attracted to.
I was the type of woman who lusted after men like Andrew Garfield and Michael B. Jordanâthough my favorite go-to guy was Idris Elba. My mother and I used to adore him while watching his films.
Those were the good old days. She didnât spend half the movie lecturing me about getting old and having children. The dating site eventually started to show promise when I met a man named Alfie.
He was nice and cute, not stunningly beautiful, but cute enough for me. He didnât make me laugh out loud, but he did make me smile. He piqued my interest in his life and how I might fit into it.
We decided to meet at a nice restaurant and see where things went from there. It was fine at first, despite the fact that he was just as dull in person as he was in text. I assumed he was just shy and polite. He turned out to be another version of myself.
I wanted someone who was spontaneous, funny, and entertaining. Alfie inquired about how many boyfriends I had. He turned out to be only interested in women who were being pursued by other men.
Knowing he had the most desirable woman turned him on. I had to excuse myself to the restroom because I was stunned. There was no second date or farewell after I snuck out of the restaurant.
Joshua was the next man I went on a date with. He was hot, and I expected things to go smoothly. The moment he opened his mouth, he became less appealing. He only wanted to talk about himself.
He did this all night, boasting about everything he had done and would do, his friends, his life, and his work, with great exaggeration. He blew up on me when I tried to talk about myself and had the audacity to say I liked talking about myself.
It was safe to say I didnât throw a punch when I left the restaurant. I had vowed not to go on another date for a few weeks, but when I met Reggie, a real estate agent, my rule was broken.
After all, rules were meant to be broken. But hereâs the thing: I never got to talk to Reggie. He looked at me and said, âYou arenât the right woman for me.â
He was gone in an instant, while I remained rooted to my seat in embarrassment. Iâd had a feeling it was him. He was dressed in the blue shirt and black tie he had promised to wear.
Those dates had been disastrous, and I gave up on them. Who was I to defy fate if I was doomed to remain single, die, and be buried alone? I assumed Iâd accept it.
I thought I had until Stan, an accountant, asked me out to dinner after we met at the coffee shop. I was excited, even though he wasnât Henry Cavill. I was about to go on a date with someone I hoped would be the right man.
He had the potential to be the answer to my prayers. It was true what they said: good things come to those who waitâor, in my case, who were patient enough.
Stan texted me the location of the restaurant where we planned to meet. Iâd never been to that one, but Iâd heard it was pricey. Iâd heard it was the restaurant that would drain your bank account if you didnât have a steady source of income.
I wasnât complaining, but I was concerned about our future and any children we might have. I didnât want Stan to waste money on me before I realized I was getting ahead of myself. I had to wait until after the first date to start brainstorming baby names.
Two boys and two girls. The Italian restaurant blinded me with its beauty when I stepped out of the beat-up car Iâd gotten for a low price. I adjusted my clothesâa black lacy blouse and pencil skirt that accentuated my boobs and ass.
I couldnât deny I had curves. It was the one thing that drew jerks to me. I liked the outfit for two reasons. One, I liked how it made me feel, and two, I looked good in it. It was also simple to remove.
I never considered myself beautiful enough to grace the cover of a magazine. I was an average-looking woman of average height, who didnât look a day older than twenty-seven. My dark hair was a mass of long, messy curlsâa pain in the ass, but messy enough to look sexy.
My skin was medium brown, and I had deep-brown eyes framed by long, thick lashes. My full lips were naturally red, with only a gloss on top.
I was led to Stanâs table.
As I approached, he rose from his chair, kissed me on the cheek, and pulled out a chair for me.
Ten points for that.
I smiled nervously, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I was nervous because I didnât want to mess things up before they even started. This was an achievement.
So far, I hadnât detected any hostilityâwhich meant there was still hope. I could only hope that if I left here tonight with a boyfriend, my mother would stop bothering me about marriage, children, and dying.
âYou look beautiful tonight,â he said, eyeing me up and down with an approving stare.
âThanks.â
âWould you like wine? Or something stronger? Whatever you want, donât hesitate on my account.â
âA glass of water, please,â I said politely, opting out of the delectable taste of wine. Stan was the type of guy who would make you feel at ease. It was his comfort that initially drew me to him.
After we ordered, he leaned back in his seat, a charming smile playing on his lips. âHow are you today?â
âIâm good, thank you. What about you?â I asked, falling into an easy, comfortable start. âHow is work? You mentioned you were an accountantânumbers and all.â I grinned with a soft chuckle. âI wasnât really good at math in high school. It was torture getting me to sit through the class.â
He tried not to show it, but there was a pop on his brow. My brow furrowed slightly, which caused something to settle in my heart, but my smile remained unaffected. Perhaps I was overthinking things.
âWork is all right,â he responded quickly, saying nothing more. Nothing to acknowledge the remainder of what I said. Even though it appeared strange, I didnât want to be discouraged just yet.
Everyone had good and bad days. Maybe today was Stanâs day off. The fact that he agreed to the dinner despite his mood said a lot about how much he liked me.
When the waiter delivered our food, Stan, like a gentleman, motioned for me to begin eating first. I dipped my fork into my pappardelle, an Italian dish, and took the first bite with a moan. When I realized what I had done, my face turned a bright red.
âSorry,â I said, feeling like smacking myself for embarrassing myself.
Stan chuckled. âItâs quite all right, Millie. The restaurant is popular for having the best menu. Thatâs why itâs my favorite place.â
Great. A conversation began. I was terrified that the silence would bury me alive and force me to dig my way out. I had been burned out when he hadnât offered anything a few minutes ago, but now that he was talking, laughing, and giving me a nice opening to converse, the dimmed light inside me resurfaced and burned up.
I was reborn. Like a phoenix, I crawled back to life. I smiled.
âOh, you frequent here often?â
He nodded between bites of his Fiorentina steak. âIâve tasted every dish on the menu, but I got to say, they have the best steak in the city.â He pointed to his plate. âI tell all my dates to order the steak, but you, I knew youâd like something else. I allowed you to order, but I order for all my dates.â
I stilled. The fork in my hand may as well have melted because I couldnât feel the grip in my hand.
âYour dates?â I asked, surprised, even though what I really wanted to say was What the fuck do you mean by you order food for your dates?
But I didnât want to make a scene, especially since I planned to return. The atmosphere was pleasant, and the food didnât seem bad.
But right now, it tasted like ashes. What a ruined appetite.
âYes,â he said, not ashamed of it. âYou didnât think you were the first one I brought here, did you?â He chuckled softly, cutting a piece of his steak and putting it into his mouth, all the while watching me as though he was taunting me. âYouâre the fifth woman I brought this week.â
Pause.
What. The. Fuck.
His smile deepened. âYouâre one of my favorites, though,â he continued, as if he were hanging out with his friends, discussing his shameless actions. âI knew youâd be charming when I saw you. You were calm. I liked that.â
My fork slipped from my fingers and clattered onto the plate. My teeth were clenched. I hid my hands beneath the table so I could ball them into fists while breathing through each nostril.
âWhat exactly do you mean? Are youââ I paused, afraid that the longer I went on, the more I would swallow my tongue. But I had to keep going because WHAT THE FUCK!
I was screaming in my head, hurling myself against the walls, hitting my head on the concrete, tearing my flesh, and screaming at the top of my lungs. All of this was in my head, but I kept any emotion at bay out here.
I took a deep breath in, finding my bearings again. âStan, are you dating others besides me?â
His eyes widened. âDating?â
It was the first time he was out of character. I mean, he was practically about to scream more than me right now.
âYes. Are you dating them while youâre dating me?â I asked pleasantly. Maybe too pleasantly. Perhaps I needed to grip something sharp in my hand. Like the knife on his plate. Yes, it seemed capable of severing his flesh. Perhaps not sharp enough to do too much harm, but sufficient to injure and maim.
He began to laugh. I wasnât joking. He began to laugh, bending his head and muffling the sounds with his napkin as his shoulders shook with the tremors.
I could feel the moment the ice began to freeze all of my blood and veins, leaving me cold and numb. My heart was the only thing that seemed to be beating. It pulsed and pulsed, shook and trembled. It shook with frustration, fear, and rage.
I was pissed.
No, I was furious.
âExcuse me,â I cut off his laughter through clenched teeth. I was not about to sit here and be laughed at. âWhat the hell are you doing?â
âNo, what are you doing?â he threw back as the last bit of tremors left him. He settled back into his seat, throwing the napkin on the table. âWhat gave you the idea that we were dating, Millie? You and me?â He chuckled. âYouâre not serious, are you? I donât plan on dating you.â
My eyes grew wide. âExcuse me?â I asked in horror. My disbelief should have been captured on camera so that I could hang a reminder of my disappointment and failures on my walls. âYou donât plan on dating me, but you asked me out?â
âI think youâre mistaken,â he said with ease. He wasnât even breaking a sweat. He was having a good time. It appeared that this was not his first time having this conversation. This was far too calm for him.
I gave him a scowl.
âThe only relationship we will share is a physical one, like all the others I met with this week. Iâm buying you dinner and being polite so I could have a chance to sleep with you.â
âExcuse me?â I snapped. My vocabulary had shrunk to just two words. Damn. If I couldnât think of anything else, it was bad. My insides were about to disintegrate, but thankfully, I was still alive to witness this moment. This was the point at which I, Millie Jenson, had completely and miserably failed in my pursuit of a man. Worse, Stan was the worst person I had ever dated.
I wanted to punch him, pick up a fork and gouge out his eyes, stab him in the back of the head and dig out his flesh like people dig graves. I imagined laying each layer of his flesh on the ground like bacon on a pan. My trembling body and raging heart, the raging fire within me, desired nothing more than to absorb this manâs life force.
Fuck. Fuck. This asshole. God, I couldnât believe he had fooled me into thinking he was a good man.
âI canât date you when Iâm married, Millie,â he continued calmly.
âWhat?â I almost yelled, my face turning red in anger. âYouâre married?â The word married rang louder than anything I had ever heard in my life. It was so loud that I swear I heard angels singing as if they were welcoming me into heaven, but I wasnât dead yet. The awful man in front of me was proof that I wasnât dead.
âI thought you knew. I was wearing my wedding band when we met.â
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Holy shit.
Even though all I wanted to do was get out of my seat and beat the crap out of him, I was very good at restraint. How could I have overlooked something as significant as a wedding ring on his finger?
I should have noticed it, but I didnât because I was a moron. Iâd missed out on who he truly was because I was so excited to be asked out on a date.
Shit. The temperature in the restaurant began to rise. Everything became gloomy.
My blood was hot and my insides were boiling. Sweat beaded across my brow. I swallowed. My mouth was dry.
âWhy the hell did you ask me out when youâre married?â I asked harshly, clutching my dress tightly as my fairytale life crumbled before my eyes. All my plans were thrown out the window.
âBecause youâre hot,â was his smart reply. âIâd like to sleep with you.â
Oh my god. The man was insane. If I heard another word about sleeping with me, I was going to slap him. That, I couldnât stop myself from doing.
I glared at him before getting to my feet, not wanting to spend another second in his company. My whole body shook violently. I might spend the night in jail if I didnât leave now.
I grabbed my purse. âYouâre a pig, and I hope your wife realizes what a pig you are.â Then I hurriedly crossed the tables, oblivious to the two sets of amused eyes staring at me. With a shaky breath, I walked out of the restaurant.
I welcomed the cold airâs bite on my skin as it rushed inside. If only it could calm the raging storm in my heart. Tears of rage and humiliation threatened to flow from my eyes, but I forced them back.
No way. No way. Not for any man. I knew I wasnât meant to meet someone. I wasnât meant to fall in love.
Who was I to battle with fate?
I stood on the side of the road, staring out at the cold night. The right man must have been having a good time somewhere out there right then. Or perhaps he was looking out his window, wondering about me as much as I was about him.
Perhaps, what awaited me was nothing.
I frowned, shaking the thought out of my head. Nothing good came out of thinking about someone who didnât exist.
âExcuse me, miss.â All my brain picked out from the words was the accent. The hot accent. The rough voice.
I slowly turned. âYes, can I help you?â
He smirked. âNo, but I think I can help you.â
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