The dream vanished in an instant as my eyes opened to reality, all but remnants ripped away in the morning light. The Goddess was torturing me with these dreams, and I was left panting and alone.
Every dream brought a bite of loneliness. I only had eight months to find him—the literal man of my dreams—before our bond broke, eight short months until my twenty-sixth birthday.
After a quick shower, I went down for breakfast. Despite the early hour, the tantalizing aroma of my mother’s cooking wafted through the air.
Stopping in the doorway, I breathed in the familiar smells. My mother was stirring a pot of baked beans—a delicious mix of cooked tomatoes, smoky paprika, and white beans, which she had perfected after I had fallen in love with the full English breakfasts we’d had when visiting the British packs a few years ago.
“Are you trying to keep me here, Mom?”
She chuckled, but it was tinged with sadness. All her laughs seemed to lack her usual joy after I’d told everyone I’d found a role as a healer in another pack.
Growing up, I always wanted to be a doctor. Now that my training was complete, I had to leave. There was no need for me to stay. After all, Royal Pack had no shortage of doctors.
Royal Pack had no shortage of anything.
“The prince came by earlier? He’s going to circle back after patrol and join us for your last breakfast,” Mom said with a grimace. She never liked our friendship, even though she was the beta female.
My brows lowered. “I told him it was just you and me this morning, and what do you mean earlier? It’s six o’clock!”
His scent hit at that moment, and I excused myself, intercepting Nate by the garden gate. I averted my eyes when I saw him pulling on shorts.
Most girls would jump at the chance to see his royal bottom, but he wasn’t my mate, so I wasn’t interested. We had been close friends since I joined the pack at six years old, when he was eight.
Our close bond, and the fact that I could resist his alpha prince command, had people claiming I would be his mate—a hope that was crushed when he turned eighteen. He was distraught at the time, hoping it would click into place when I turned eighteen. It didn’t.
“I know it’s supposed to be just you two,” he said, casting a sheepish glance in my direction.
“If you know, then why are you here and bothering my mom before dawn?”
Breaking into smiles, we collided in a tight hug. He pulled back before resting his forehead against mine.
“Please change your mind. I can’t do this without you, E. I feel like I’m losing the only good thing in my life.”
Sighing, I tilted my head and did my best not to cave. “I can’t stay, and besides, Blood Moon is my birth pack. My mate could be there. You know I don’t have long to find him. Plus, you know Eddie is the Beta there, so I already have one friend—he’ll help me to settle in.”
Nate, filled with frustration, tore himself away, unleashing a growl that would usually make people fall to their knees in front of the alpha prince. But it only managed to put a scowl on my face.
Nate and Eddie weren’t friends. Not even close. They used to be, but that all changed when I healed Eddie. After that, Nate could hardly stand to be in the same room as him.
I shook my head to rid myself of my thoughts and gently placed a hand on Nate’s arm, patiently waiting for his eyes to meet mine. “Come inside once you’ve cooled down and don’t make this even harder for me. I’ll only be five hours away. For the love of the Goddess, Nate. You’re leaving for your luna search soon anyway.”
Nate growled low in his throat. We had jokingly promised to mate with one another if we didn’t find our fated mates by my twenty-sixth birthday. That time was drawing near, and while it gnawed at me after dreaming about my mate for so long, it only seemed to make Nate more possessive.
I sighed as I walked into the house and set a place for Nate. Maybe being away from him would be good for both of us. He could use the time to look at our friendship objectively—and if he was honest, he’d recognize that he’d never be satisfied with only the platonic type of love I could offer.
What he wanted was tempting, though. Having spent most of our lives together, we had a natural understanding and comfort with each other, a kind of unspoken language built on years of shared experiences.
Could I just walk away?
The thrill of potentially finding my mate pushed me ahead, but the nagging doubts in the back of my mind made it hard to fully embrace the hope. Maybe a new pack, a new challenge, and a new life were just what I needed—hopefully one blessed with the love of my elusive mate.
I prayed to the Goddess I wasn’t making a mistake.
