Forbidden Men Book 6: Worth It
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Linda Kage
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I fell in love once.
It was amazing. She was amazing. Life was amazing.
I lived for each time I could see her, and nothing else mattered, not that our families were enemies, our time together was forbidden, or we had to meet in secret.
Our love could conquer all.
Until it didn't.
So I was ripped away from the love of my life and shoved into hell, forced to continue without her.
It shattered me, broke the best parts of me, left me permanently damaged.
Or so I thought.
Years later, I swear history’s trying to repeat itself because she’s back in my life, and I’m just as drawn to her as I was before. But I'm older and wiser now, and I know she should stay away from a worthless piece of ex-con like me.
So, I will not let her in. I absolutely refuse to hurt her. I will keep her away.
Then again, sometimes risking your greatest fear to get to a smile makes everything worth it, and besides, I’m not sure I can resist her, anyway.
This is the story of how Felicity Bainbridge changed my life forever, starting one summer day long ago after I was forced to change a dirty diaper...
--Knox Parker
Chapter 1
I loved the woods behind my house, from the fresh scent of pine to the crunch of twigs underfoot and especially those stray ribbons of sunlight that streamed through the tree limbs. But mostly, I cherished the absolute absence of human intervention. God, did I adore the quiet scuttle of squirrels pillaging through the foliage, birds chirping their daily chorus, and the flutter of the breeze through the hollows, like the breath of nature, whispering her secrets to me.
So I’d sought the woods with my e-reader almost every day this summer, escaping either my mother, my father, or both my brothers, pretty much my entire life in general. It was one big happy retreat.
I had no idea why I hadn’t come out here before this year. The quiet, relaxing solitude was addictive. And there was so much of it. My father owned a half-mile strip through the forest—or three hundred and twenty acres, as he would classify it. The only other property to butt against ours was the Parkers’, and their place was clear on the other side, so I had the entire three hundred and twenty acres all to mysel—
“Watch out!”
Startled out of my peaceful reverie, I whirled around, clutching my Kindle to my chest. But what... how...? Someone else was in my woods?
No!
Except there was no way to deny he was charging directly toward me as if the hounds of hell were after him.
Oh...crap.
He tried to stop and avoid a collision. I could tell by the way his arms flailed through the air as if he were grasping for invisible brakes, and by the widening of his eyes...right before he plowed into me with a jarring thud.
The breath snapped from my lungs. Momentum from his run propelled me backwards and him forward. There was a brief moment when we were both soaring through the air that our gazes met in the hazy, pollen-clogged afternoon. His enlarged brown eyes filled with horror. Mine, fear. That’s all we had time to do, share a single look—I didn’t even get in a good scream—before we landed, him on top, me crushed beneath with my back to the forest floor.
The fall didn’t knock me unconscious, which was disappointing since the pain was immediate, searing up my spine and exploding out all four limbs.
For a dazed moment, we lay together, a tangled knot of arms and legs. He crushed me to the earth with his warmth and the sharp incense of boy.
I’d never thought of what boys might smell like before. But he certainly didn’t exude snips and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails. He was musky and fresh with a hint of apple.
And then his smell was taken away.
“Oh...shit.” He did an awkward crablike crawl to scramble off me, making me moan as his weight lifted and the release of pressure brought about more sensation, like that new throb of agony to my hip.
“Are you okay? Hey.” Hands gripped my shoulders and shook. When I did nothing, because the wind was still knocked from me, he said, “shit,” again. “Wake up. Please wake up. I’m sorry. I—shit...you have to be okay.”
Fingers skimmed over my face and into my hairline, boy fingers, containing the slight rasp of callouses against the softest part of my cheek.
Boy.
Boy.
Boy.
Why did I keep noticing the boy aspects of him?
And why couldn’t I tell if I was wiggling my toes or not?
And hey, why exactly was he running his fingers through my hair? The creeper.
I realized he wasn’t feeling me up but was rather searching for wounds about the same moment he found a goose egg on the back of my skull.
“Ouch!” Pain zapped through me, from the back of my head, down, until it shot out the ends of my feet. And yeah, I could definitely feel my toes now as they pulsed with an agonizing throb.
I grabbed his wrist and flashed my eyes open. The first thing I saw was the straight, tall branches overhead with the blue sky peeking through, checking on me as if making sure I was okay. I transferred my gaze until I focused on concerned brown eyes, the skin around them wrinkled into a sympathetic wince.
“Are you okay? Let me help you up.”
His warm, boy fingers wrapped around my elbow and more of them gently took hold of my shoulder. But when he tried to lift me into a sit, I sucked in a breath and curled away from him.
He immediately let go and shied back. “Sorry. Sorry.”
I rolled onto my side, cradling my ribs, and bent my knees up toward my chest. But...ouch, this did not feel good.
The boy hovered above me, his fear, concern, and indecision oozing with a pungent intensity. “Where does it hurt?”
I moaned, or maybe whimpered was a better word. “Everywhere.” Closing my eyes, I gnashed my teeth and concentrated on nothing but breathing until I could bear the ache. Then I blew out a breath and began to sit up on my own. He shifted toward me and extended an arm as if he wanted to assist, but then he paused, changing his mind.
“What can I do?” he asked, still with the anxious hovering.
“Nothing. I’m fine. It’s okay. I...” When I looked up, the words stalled on my tongue. Then they dissolved in shock as I realized I knew him. “You’re...” Well, maybe I didn’t know him, know him. But I definitely knew what he was. He was, “...a Parker.”
I wasn’t sure which Parker exactly. I’d seen him in school; he was a year ahead of me. But I didn’t know his first name. It had to be strange, though. They all had funky first names. Speed. Cobra. Mercedes. And there were a ton of them. Six or seven, or something like that. Their father had lined them up on our driveway and listed them off, right before yanking forward the only girl and claiming my brother Garrett had gotten her pregnant.
That had been months ago, back in the spring. After a brief, private conference with Bruce Parker—the Parkers’ dad—my father had dismissed them out of hand and sent the lot of them away, complaining throughout dinner that evening about how the dirty trash Parker family had upset his entire afternoon by daring to set their pathetic, second-hand-store shoes on his property.
The entire scene had caused a stir for weeks, really. Father grumbled about how he’d like to take the Parkers’ land from them and send them away permanently. Mother had fretted over possible rumors circulating of any of her sons having had any kind of dealings with a Parker. Max incessantly teased Garrett about his impending fatherhood. And an indignant Garrett disclaimed all accusations. But I hadn’t seen or heard from anyone in the Parker family since then.
Until now.
As my eyes grew big with shock, his narrowed in recognition.
“Bainbridge,” he hissed.
And just like that, we were enemies.
I recoiled while he shook his head, almost as if he were trying to deny our chance encounter. “What’re you doing out here?” he demanded.
“Excuse me?” I spit back indignantly. “This is my family ground; what’re you doing here?”
“I...” His eyes widened, filling with a jittery anxiety. Then he glanced around the trees as if seeking the most available form of escape. “Shit,” he muttered to himself.
Before he could explain himself, another voice boomed through the forest.
“Hey, Max!” Garrett’s shout made me and the Parker boy jump simultaneously as it came from not too far away. “You see him yet?”
“No. Nothing,” Max answered from the other side of us, the rustling of tree limbs revealing he was closer to us than Garrett was.
“Well, if you do, hold him for me. I’m going to beat the ever-loving shit out of the dead prick.”
I swerved my gaze from the direction of one brother’s voice toward the other’s, seeing neither of them through all the trees. When I returned my attention to the Parker boy frozen in front of me, his face had drained of color only to fill with fear and guilt.
I gasped, suddenly understanding. “What did you do?” I hissed, realizing he was the very dead prick my brothers were pursuing.
Shaking his head, he lifted his index finger and pressed it against his mouth, begging me to keep silent.
Like hell.
He was a Parker. The enemy. Not to mention he’d just tackled me to the ground and maimed me. I sucked in a lungful to scream for Max, but the Parker boy leapt at me and slapped his hand over my mouth.
“No,” he whispered harshly. “Please.”
I shrieked into his fingers and tried to pull away, but he lassoed my waist with his arm and banded me against him.
I bit his hand, stomped on his foot and thrashed my head until my goose egg gave a violent pulse of pain and made me dizzy enough to gray my vision. Worried I was going to faint, I sank my teeth harder into the meat of his palm with renewed purpose.
“Mother of God,” he gasped but held on to me even tighter. “Fuck. That hurts.”
The salty tang of his flesh filled my mouth, startling me with how boy he tasted; it made me let up on my teeth hold, but I kept struggling in every other capacity.
“Stop. Please stop,” he said in my ear. “I’m not going to hurt you. I mean, any more than I already accidentally have. I just don’t want them to kill me. Please don’t help them kill me.”
Stopping would mean surrender, and I could never surrender to a Parker. They’d accused a member of my family of the most degrading crime. He was the enemy, and no Bainbridge conceded to the enemy.
I tried to scream again, so he swung me around, pinning me to a tree. The impact left my brain rattled. I let out a squeak of protest, and he must’ve known he’d expended too much force because he immediately let up half of his energy.
“Shit, sorry,” he rasped into my ear as he used every inch of himself to hold me securely to the tree.
Tears stung my eyes, and the fight left me as pain clouded my senses.
“Hey, you still awake?” The Parker boy jostled me, nudging his shoulder into mine when I went slack. “Oh, fuck. I didn’t kill you, did I?” His concern sounded strange since he’d been the one to shove me into the tree in the first place.
I bucked against him once and almost freed myself, but that was all I could accomplish before the fight seeped from me again.
He huffed out his surprise and tightened his grip. “Yeah, she’s definitely alive.” His breath fanned my ear and the side of my cheek, stirring something hot and moist in the base of my stomach.
Maybe the knock to my head had muddled my senses, or maybe it was something else, but the boiling tingle in my abdomen began to swirl out and into my veins until every inch of my skin felt prickly. It made me think about how close he held me, how good he smelled, how warm he felt. I wanted to burrow into his heat and let it soothe away every aching tingle inside me.
My resistance slipped.
“I would never hurt you on purpose.” The words sounded sweet and genuine. They made me catch my breath with shock as I felt...I don’t know, flattered maybe, by his sincerity.
Then his boy fingers gently stroked the scrape on my elbow as if trying to caress the wound better. Again, things deep inside me clenched with a sensation that had my skin buzzing with full-body awareness.
“You know that, right? You’re safe here.” His hushed voice coaxed more from me than he probably intended. “Just...please stay still with me for a couple minutes longer, until they’re gone, okay? Then, maybe give me a head start before you scream as loud as you want.”
All I heard was, stay with me, and please. And oh my word, I was tempted to give him anything he wanted.
But when I lifted my gaze to his, his chocolate brown eyes met mine, and he looked so...Parkerish.
Parkers were the enemy.
Crap, what was happening to me?
Horrified because I’d let a Parker momentarily drug me into his captivating spell, I struggled a little, just to let him know my answer about helping him wasn’t yes. But I didn’t put much effort into it, because honestly, he still affected me. I didn’t want to be anywhere else on earth just then. I’d never been this close to a boy I wasn’t related to before. It was thrilling. Kind of daunting but also...amazing.
My heart thumped in triple time, and I caught my breath when I realized I could feel the erratic beat of his heart, too, as his chest heaved against mine. I liked knowing he was as scared as I was...or as scared as I’d been. I wasn’t really scared any longer. I was captivated.
His smell, his warmth...they got to me. I lifted my gaze to his hair; the flyaway dark locks matched the color of my favorite trees’ trunks. I wanted to touch each strand, run my fingers through them, then bring them to my face and test how they felt against my cheek.
“Just who’re we looking for out here?” a third person asked, sounding like Tad, Garrett’s best friend. He was even closer to us than either of my brothers had been.
I tensed. If we stayed here, we’d be spotted within seconds. And I wasn’t ready to be discovered just yet, not with the Parker boy so close to me.
Acting quickly, he crouched behind our tree, bringing me down onto my haunches with him. He didn’t even seem to realize I no longer struggled as he kept his hand loosely over my mouth. His touch felt more protective than it did ominous, as if he were trying to shield me from trouble instead of imprison me into it.
“The hell if I know,” Garrett called back. “But I walked into my room to find some fucker with a dirty diaper, smearing baby shit on my bed. And when I find him, he’s dead.”
This time, the Parker boy sank closer as if seeking shelter from me. I almost touched him in reassurance. But I stopped myself, because that probably wasn’t what I was supposed to do for the enemy.
“I bet it was one of them Parkers,” Tad answered. “Still trying to claim their newest brat was yours?”
Garrett let out a derisive snort. “If you ask me, it was probably that filthy bastard Bruce Parker himself who knocked up his own girl and is trying to pawn his incest baby off on us.”
The Parker boy’s muscles coiled, and the vibration of his growl deep in his throat echoed through my bones. His eyes gleamed hard with vengeance as he clenched his teeth and curled his top lip into a snarl.
I grabbed his wrist to stop him from acting. And at my touch, his surprised gaze slashed to me. I shook my head, begging him with my eyes not to react. I’d seen Garrett mad before. From the sound of his voice, he was the kind of mad you didn’t want to mess with. He tortured cats and small animals for the pure pleasure of it.
Thinking about the things he did out of anger made me shiver with horror and worry for this beautiful boy cowering against me.
After staring at me for an overly long second, the boy blinked and seemed to relax under my beseeching gaze. Slowly, his hand fell from my lips. We continued to stare at each other as the search party combed past us, never discovering our hiding spot. Minutes drifted by and still, neither of us moved. Finally, he glanced away as if to ensure our safety. But his gaze tracked right back to me.
“You’re not screaming,” he said, seemingly perplexed by the notion.
Oh, crap. I was supposed to scream now, wasn’t I?
With a small clearing of my throat, I lifted my chin and straightened my back. “Well...you’re not running away.”
His gaze darted around my face, confusion and maybe a little awe in his eyes. I think he realized then, just as I did, that maybe we weren’t complete enemies after all.
He straightened to his feet and backed a step away, seeming almost leery of me. When he turned to leave, I panicked, not ready for him to go.
“Hey.” I leapt up after him, only to cause my vision to blur and a dull ache to ricochet through my goose egg.
He paused. A second passed, then two. Finally, he glanced back. “What?”
“Did you really do that to my brother’s bed?”
A grin lit his face, a grin that had my stomach flipping over and my heart skipping madly. A slight nod later, he answered, “And I’m going to keep doing it every time I have to change one of his daughter’s dirty diapers.”
I exhaled a breath I’d been holding, a little impressed he’d had the nerve to do something so bold against Garrett, against anyone in my family, and even warmer in the belly that he felt so protective of his sister. I wondered if either of my brothers would seek that kind of justice for me if I’d landed in the same situation. But what I said was, “I can’t believe you broke into my house.”
“I didn’t steal anything.” He took a step toward me, then another.
I didn’t move away, but I did hold my breath. A toxic mixture of fear and excitement raced through me.
Slowly, he lifted his hand. When I still refused to back away from him, he paused with his fingers lifted halfway between us. Then he gave in to whatever had been holding him back and reached out to pluck a broken twig from my hair.
With a sharp breath, I glanced from the twig to his face. Then I shook my head. “You still vandalized my brother’s room. That’s not right.”
His eyes narrowed. “It’s a lot less wrong than what he did to my sister.”
“I don’t...” When he lifted his eyebrows, waiting for me to continue, I took a quick breath. “I mean, I don’t think Garrett...you know...I don’t think he’s the father.”
With a sniff of dismissal, the boy glanced away. “Of course you’d say that.”
“No, really. I’m serious. I know my brother. I know he’s not perfect. And he’s definitely capable of doing something like...this. He can lie and deny the truth to your face only to turn around and brag about it to his friends. But I’ve heard him talking to his buddies about this, and he still denies it to them.”
“Well, I’ve seen the baby,” the Parker boy countered. This time, when he reached for my hair, it wasn’t to pull anything from it. He wound a strand around his finger. “And she looks exactly like you.”
My breath caught. “Well I’m certainly not the father.”
He gave a soft laugh and smiled. Wow, I liked his smile. Were poor Parkers supposed to have such straight white teeth and amazing smiles?
But then the smile dipped into an irritated scowl, as if he’d just remembered I was one of the rich, pretentious Bainbridges. His fingers jerked from my hair. “She’s definitely related to you. Flaming red hair. Eyes so blue they’re almost turquoise and only about two freckles on her entire face. Kind of pretty, actually.”
I tried not to react, except my skin heated violently. His compliment blushed through my entire system, and every breath I took made me more exhilarated than the last.
Until he had to add, “For a Bainbridge.”
Spinning away, he hurried off and disappeared around a tree.
I stood there, gaping at the place he’d just been. Even though he’d tried to end our encounter with criticism, my chest expanded and filled with warmth and an exuberance I couldn’t contain because it leaked out my lips and stretched the tips up until I was grinning like an idiot.
He might not have taken anything from my home, but he’d definitely just stolen something from me, something I’d never get back. It was as if he’d sucked out everything dismal and distressing in my life and left me glowing with nothing but a giddy radiance.
As my gaze dropped to the ground and I searched distractedly for my fallen Kindle, I felt uplifted and revitalized. I couldn’t wait for him to come back and steal more from me.
I think I knew, even then, my life would never be the same again.
