Brooding Vet for the Wallflower
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Sue MacKay
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CHAPTER ONE
‘KATE, YOU HAVEN’T had the privilege of meeting one of our past colleagues, Finn Anderson.’ Jackson gave him a cheeky grin. ‘Finn, this is one of our vets, Kate Phillips.’
Finn knew his friend well enough to know from the look in his eyes that he had ideas about how well he and Kate might get along. As far as he was concerned, Jackson could think again. It wasn’t happening. He was only back home for his brother’s wedding before returning to Scotland and his fantastic job there in a fortnight’s time. He was not looking for a new relationship. The last one hadn’t gone cold yet, and the lessons learned would probably prevent that from ever happening. He was not open to sharing his life and all he’d worked for ever again. As for his heart—that was locked down as tight as possible.
As he turned to meet the woman standing beside Jackson, his stomach dropped. Never had he seen such a beautiful woman. Classic features enhanced by long, straight, strawberry-blonde hair and drag-him-under fudge-brown eyes. Then there was the figure to die for. Surely she came with a warning tag? Like a serious warning about how he would combust if he touched her, or even stood too close to her.
Kate looked at him and said, ‘Hello, Finn. I mightn’t have met you but I’ve heard a bit about you.’
‘Hello, Kate. Yes, I seem to remember there’re times when Jackson does exceed the sensible levels of idle chatter.’ Especially when he was on a mission to interfere in his friend’s life, as he had been ever since it had gone down the gutter more than three years ago. All Finn could hope for was that Jackson would continue to keep his trap shut about his past. His pal might be a pain about some things, but he felt certain he could trust him on that one. It was his story to share, no one else’s, and he had no intentions of doing that with anybody. Not even a stunning woman who had him looking twice to see if she was for real. Which she most certainly was.
‘Yeah, right.’ Jackson grinned.
Finn stepped closer and said quietly, ‘Knock it off, pal.’ This was his first time home to New Zealand in nearly two years and next time he took a break from work he intended exploring parts of France. Yet he had to admit it felt surprisingly good to be here. He couldn’t be ready to return home, surely? It was good to catch up with friends but returning permanently wasn’t yet an option.
He was still getting over how his fiancée, an accountant to boot, had bankrupted them. Not them so much as him, because she hadn’t had any finances to begin with. It had been a terrible time facing up to what she’d done and dealing with the resulting consequences. The money she’d told him she’d spent on wedding plans had instead been sucked up at the casino, along with lots more that she’d shrugged off as their living expenses. There’d even been a loan he’d known nothing about until the bank had foreclosed on it and started the whole process that had seen him left with little more than the clothes he’d stood up in. He’d lost his veterinary business, wasn’t allowed a loan of any kind for four years, and all the money he’d earned since had gone to paying back debtors even though he wasn’t obligated to do so.
Living on the other side of the world was helping to put it all behind him, but not the fact he’d struggle to ever again trust someone with the things that mattered most to him. Love, family, and working for his own pleasure and gain. Not only had Amelia financially ruined him, she’d broken his heart. She’d been the love of his life. He might’ve forgiven her if she’d been willing to do something about her gambling problem, but she’d laughed at that idea, saying it wasn’t a problem and she could stop any time she chose. Nor had she once apologised for ruining everything for him.
She’d also stolen from clients of the accounting firm she’d worked for and consequently had her accreditation taken away. Harder to swallow was that a year ago she’d married a wealthy man and had recently had a baby. That news had torn him further apart because it had shown how far she’d go to set herself up for life. Telling him she was pregnant when it had been an out and out lie had been the final kick in the guts for him because she’d actually shown him a positive test strip she’d got from a pregnant friend. All to keep him at her side until she’d found someone else to give her the lifestyle she craved, and that the casino hadn’t provided. To think he’d fallen hard and fast for her, and had no idea who she really was. Once bitten, so the saying went, the rest of which was now his motto.
‘Relax, Finn.’ Jackson brought him back to the here and now, probably well aware of where he’d gone. ‘This is a party. You’re meant to be enjoying yourself catching up with old friends.’
He couldn’t argue with that. The Lincoln Vet Clinic staff were in a room at the pub to celebrate winning clinic of the year for their work with the racehorses bred and trained around Lincoln and when they’d heard he was in town they’d made sure he came along. ‘It’s great seeing everyone.’ He glanced at Kate.
And meeting new people.
Down, man. He wasn’t staying around after the wedding.
‘You’re a local?’
She smiled. ‘Cantabrian through and through.’
That smile could wreck any intentions to remain aloof. He took a step back. ‘It’s not a bad place to live. I do miss certain aspects.’ On the days when he forgot why he’d left in the first place, and, face it, those days were rare. The humiliation over what Amelia had done was never far from the surface, along with the pain in his heart. Throw in his complete lack of trust and he was a screw-up.
‘You don’t intend returning home?’ Kate asked.
‘Not in the foreseeable future. The job I’m doing is too good an opportunity to toss it aside.’ More importantly, he needed to stay away until he’d totally sorted his head out and knew how he was going to move on from the past. Might be years before that happened.
When he and Amelia had first got together, it had been wonderful. It hadn’t bothered him that she’d wanted to live in Wellington where she’d grown up. It was natural to support his partner, right? She’d had a good job with a top company in the CBD and he had been happy to set up a veterinary practice on the edge of the city. Little had he known what he was letting himself in for when she’d suggested she look after the financial side of his business He hadn’t had a clue that she knew what she was doing in more ways than legal when it came to rigging the books. Nor had he known about her gambling habit until it was too late. Her greed had got in the way of honesty. It wasn’t as though she’d been raised in poverty. Her parents were hard-working and did well with their grocery business.
‘What field are you working in?’ Kate asked.
‘I’m working for a rural practice that deals big time with Aberdeen cattle breeders.’
‘Bet that’s interesting.’
‘It is.’ Those eyes were sucking him in too easily. He took another step back.
Jackson nudged him. ‘Let’s join everyone else and get closer to the fire.’
‘Good idea.’ Winter was making itself felt today, though not a patch on the winters he’d experienced in Scotland. They were something else. Just thinking about them made him shiver.
He shook himself mentally and glanced at the beautiful woman before him. His skin tingled, making him all hot and bothered. How was he going to get through the evening and come out sane? Because he wasn’t coming out any other way. Until now he’d believed it was a given that he stayed clear of temptation as the consequences could be destructive and he wasn’t prepared to take that risk again.
‘I’ll get a drink first. Would you like one, Kate?’ Hopefully the barman would take an hour to pour the drinks, giving him time to settle back to normal. Looking at Kate as he waited for her answer, he felt a surge of pure lust strike. She really should be on the cover of a fashion magazine. But then, for all he knew, she might already be.
‘G and T, thanks.’
‘Me, too,’ Jackson called over his shoulder.
Finn headed to the bar, unable to shake Kate from his mind. She was something else. Beautiful beyond words, yet she didn’t come across as overly confident. Or was it that she wasn’t cocky? There was a stillness about her that suggested she took no crap from anyone, and thought things through before opening her mouth. Again, he was probably wrong, because what would he know when it came to reading women? But no denying she didn’t appear to be aware of her beauty in a full-on kind of way.
He was surprised at how easily she intrigued him. No woman had done that since Amelia, who he’d got involved with quickly, believing he’d found the love of his life. She’d reciprocated just as strongly. Showed how wrong he could be. Something to remember when he was sitting up and taking notice of Kate after he’d sworn off involvement of any kind other than the occasional brief fling. And that was not happening with this woman stirring his blood. He sensed she could get too close too fast and thereby hurt him. He had no idea where that came from, but he’d trust his instincts even though they’d failed him in the past with Amelia. He was clear he wasn’t setting himself up for a fall.
Just as well he was home for only a short period. That’d save him making an idiot of himself, along with getting Jackson off his back. Jackson had never liked Amelia and seemed determined to interfere in getting Finn back on his feet. Bring on the return flight to Britain. He needed his own space and that was impossible here in Canterbury with everyone determined to get him out amongst it and shove his ex-fiancée completely into the past. Amelia was his past, but the ramifications of what she’d done weren’t and were unlikely to ever totally go away. There was a huge warning hanging over his head.
Remain wary.
Not hard to do. Until tonight, it seemed. That’d come right once he sorted his mind.
‘I’ll take those drinks to the table.’ A soft feminine voice slipped through his thoughts, tightening his fingers into his palm.
There were only three glasses. ‘I could’ve managed,’ he said abruptly, then felt bad. Protecting himself came with problems. ‘But thanks. Here’s yours.’
Why had Kate come across to join him? Was she the kind of woman who always offered to help out? Or had he inadvertently stirred her blood too?
‘Thanks.’ Her smile went straight to his head. And his groin.
Too many of those and he wouldn’t be able to account for anything he said or did, despite his best intentions. ‘Any time.’ He winced. Not any time. He wouldn’t be seeing Kate after tonight, no matter what.
‘Is your job permanent, or are you restricted by immigration laws?’ Kate asked as they crossed to the table where Jackson was.
‘Permanent. My mum’s British so there was no issue when it came to applying for work over there.’
‘That’s handy.’
‘Saves a lot of hassles, which is good. I’m not into hassles,’ he added lightly, because he didn’t know what else to say without getting too intense. For some reason she did that to him even though he’d only just met her. Not a good look if he intended remaining remote, which he had to do for his own sake.
‘Something I understand,’ Kate replied. Strange how her beauty was so out there and yet her voice was quiet and calm, not saying look at him in any way, unlike other women he’d met who weren’t half as beautiful. ‘You like living on the other side of the world?’ she asked.
‘Yes.’ It put distance between him and the past. And unfortunately his family and friends, whom he missed a lot.
‘So you don’t intend returning to New Zealand any time soon?’
It was as though she was sussing him out, but that couldn’t be, surely? Or had he tweaked her interest in the same way she’d done to him? ‘No. At the moment I’m enjoying the work, along with the knowledge I’m acquiring, so I won’t be quitting my position in the foreseeable future.’ Time to turn the conversation off him and onto Kate. ‘What about you? Travelled a lot?’
Thought you weren’t going down this track.
If he hadn’t been watching her he wouldn’t have seen the shadow that crossed her face or the sharp touch she made to her upper abdomen. What was that about?
‘Twice to Oz is my lot. I keep thinking I’ll head away on my OE one day but it never happens. Guess having a long overseas experience isn’t at the top of my bucket list.’
It was something a lot of Kiwis did before settling into their careers. ‘What is, then?’ Why the heck did he keep asking questions when all he wanted was to put space between them?
‘Making the most of my career. I love being a vet. It makes the thought of travelling seem a little redundant.’
‘Are you more into domestic animal health? Or do you work rurally?’ He did need to shut up or she’d be getting the wrong idea.
‘I far prefer looking out for dogs and cats. Though tonight’s all about horses.’ She looked around the crowded room, a soft smile lighting up her beautiful face. ‘I’d better mix and mingle a bit. We’re meant to chat to the horse breeders as they were a big part of us winning the award.’
‘No problem. I’ll catch up with the guys I used to work with.’
And take a breather from wondering what it would be like to hold you in my arms.
But he was unable to take his eyes off that sensational backside covered in tight black jeans as Kate strolled away. What if he let go his restraints and had some fun for one night? It wasn’t as though that’d be setting him up for a fall. He’d be back on the other side of the world in fourteen days.
But while Kate had been quick to ask him about his career, he had no idea what she might be thinking about anything else. She seemed able to keep her thoughts to herself far better than he managed. She hadn’t come on to him, nor had she pushed her own veterinary knowledge to prove she was his equal, as a couple of vets he’d recently met in Scotland had done. Kate was almost too good to be true. Almost. No woman was that good. And if he wasn’t bitter, then what was he?
Kate put her cocktail glass aside and leaned one elbow on the bar while she watched people letting loose on the dance floor. The pub had provided music for the evening and just about everyone was getting into the mood and letting their hair down. Or swinging their bodies all over the place.
If only I had the same confidence.
Unfortunately, after the put-downs she’d had about the state of her body from the few men she’d been intimate with since her marriage collapsed, she’d become ultra-cautious about showing too much of herself to anyone. Especially her horrific scars. Throw in how Hamish had gone off her and walked away as though their marriage meant nothing, and her self-confidence was rocky at the best of times. Not that she’d be exposing any part of her body while dancing, but she didn’t want to attract attention. Focusing on the crowd, she admitted she’d like to have some fun without thinking about everything that had gone wrong for her. ‘Everyone’s gone crazy.’
Beside her, Finn laughed. ‘It says a lot about the evening.’
Thoughtlessly she said, ‘Think I’ll try a bit of dancing,’ surprising herself. Was it her way of asking him to join her? Could be, she admitted. He was quite something to look at.
He obliged. ‘Want a partner for that?’ Finn asked, then looked as surprised as she felt. Hadn’t he meant to ask her?
Tough. At worst, they’d dance and go their separate ways. At best? She had no idea other than her fingers itched to touch him. He was so gorgeous her breathing was off beat, and she couldn’t ignore him for long.
‘Sure, why not?’ Might as well have some fun, and forget everything else for once. Watching closely, she saw heat creep into his cheeks. What was going on? Was he as insecure as her? Had someone done the dirty on him too?
Well, buster, the night is nowhere near over and you are something else.
The usual tightness around her need to let go and relax was loosening unexpectedly. Getting up close to that muscular body would be a treat. A few dance moves could only be good, and as he had made it clear by talking only about work that he wasn’t into her, she wasn’t setting herself up to be hurt further along the way.
Don’t forget he’ll soon be heading away again.
How could she forget when he’d talked about how much he enjoyed his life in Britain? There was nothing to fear about getting too interested in him. There wasn’t enough time. A one-nighter would be the best thing for her if she followed through on the heated sensations filling her. What was wrong with having some fun and not waiting for the put-down that always came these days? What was wrong was that she didn’t do it any more.
But for some inexplicable reason, Finn was getting to her in ways she didn’t believe possible. Finn might even enjoy spending time up close with her. If he did notice her scars, which she’d do her utmost to prevent, he might be the first man in a long time not to reject her, though she knew she was dreaming there. After the last failed attempt at a relationship because the guy couldn’t handle the mess her body was, she’d come to the conclusion it would be wise to run solo and forget trying to find that special someone to trust with her love, so her heart would remain intact.
Yet here she was, considering a short fling—a one-off and not a relationship—which said a lot about how much Finn was getting to her. He was the sexiest man she’d met in ages. What was there to lose other than her pride if he couldn’t handle the sight of her? And face it, she should be able to hide the scars for one night. Covers on and lights off were the way to go.
At the beginning of any relationship with a man she’d liked enough to take a chance on, she’d always told him what had happened and how her body wasn’t pretty, but even that hadn’t been enough to halt the shocked expressions from appearing when she did expose herself. The front of her body was scarred from here to Africa and back, and, apart from her ex-husband, the men who had seen it had made comments about how beautiful they’d thought she was until the moment they’d set eyes on the rest of her body and slowly over the next days or weeks they’d withdraw and go find a prettier woman to have fun with. Went to show how shallow beauty was, and kind of meant the chances of her finding that special someone to spend her life with were remote. Unless she got over herself.
But it was hard to forget the looks those guys had tried to hide. So now rule number one was get to know the man well, learn to trust him not to hurt her before she finally stripped off for him. That had meant no intimacy in her life since. Yet here she was, thinking otherwise about Finn, which made no sense whatsoever. Maybe she was tired of being sensible.
Now you’re sounding like you get down and naked with lots of men.
Which couldn’t be further from the truth. There’d been very few over the last couple of years since Hamish walked out of her life three months after they’d returned from Australia’s Northern Queensland and the holiday from hell. He’d had an epileptic fit in the sea and she’d raced into the water to get him, even knowing there were stingers about. Saving Hamish had been more important than worrying about getting stung.
The irony was that Hamish was fine once the lifeguards got him back on dry land and pumped the water out of his lungs, while she was in agony when they hauled her out and up onto the beach. They sent her to hospital, where doctors did all they could to help her, but there was little they could do about the stings from the jellyfish except prescribe pain relief. They told her that in most cases the lines left by the stings would disappear after a couple of weeks. Kate was one of the unlucky few to be permanently scarred. The front of her mid torso was not pretty.
She’d already felt insecure and unworthy after Hamish had struggled to cope with her new look, which had added to her insecurities when she’d started dating again. The scarring wasn’t the reason Hamish had left her—apparently he preferred his secretary between the sheets to his wife. It hurt even more that he’d hesitated over leaving her because he’d felt guilty about what had happened that day in Queensland and said it constantly reminded him how it was his fault she’d gone into the water so he’d stayed with her longer than he’d wanted. That had made her feel both angry and rejected.
On one level she knew she was overreacting about how her body looked, but it was hard to ignore and move on. Especially as she’d grown up always hearing how beautiful she was. Occasionally she found herself thinking that it would still be great to have a short fling with a man so good-looking he knocked her socks off. And with Finn not staying around there’d be no repercussions or looking for more fun because he’d be gone in no time at all.
Yeah, sounds perfect.
If only she had the guts to make it happen. If only he didn’t see the mess that was her abdomen. If only a lot of things.
When Finn took her elbow to lead the way out amongst the heaving crowd, unprecedented heat shot up her arm. Wow. If one small touch could do that, what would it be like to make out with him? Pulling away, Kate turned to face him, and instantly wished she hadn’t. He was smiling at her, looking a little stunned too, as though he’d felt her heat under his hand. What would he think if she ran off the floor and went outside to grab a taxi to take her home—alone? But then she’d never been a coward, other than when it came to her body, so guess that meant she was staying right here, doing the moves.
Forget the moves. Finn’s body was a part of the music, almost flowing with the beats. Her throat dried as she watched, mesmerised, forgetting to dance.
‘You got lead in your boots?’ He grinned.
‘Bricks.’ Forcing her limbs to move, she did her best to dance, but it was a poor version of her usual style.
‘Here, perhaps I can help.’ Finn took her hand and spun her around under his arm, spun her back to face him, and kept her hand tight in his. ‘That’s better.’
It was more than better. Her body had relaxed so suddenly she didn’t know if she was coming or going. All she was aware of was Finn. Up so close, his body brought flushes to every area of hers. Just as well he wasn’t staying around or she’d be a goner for certain. Tonight was her limit when it came to spending time with him, and the night was young. She spun around again, turned back to him, grinning like an idiot. A very confused idiot. ‘Far better.’
‘I think so.’ Those amazing hips did their thing, still moving in sync with the beat, setting her heart racing at an unbelievable speed.
Looking into Finn’s blue eyes and seeing that similar surprise coming back at her, she wondered what was going on. Seemed he hadn’t expected to feel attracted to her. Yet he was. It was obvious in the way he kept touching her arms or her hips or her waist, and then abruptly pulling back. She couldn’t remember when a man had affected her so sharply—if at all—other than Hamish. Her feet tripped over each other.
Instantly Finn caught her and tucked her in close. ‘Careful. Can’t have you face-planting on the floor.’
‘It wouldn’t be a good look.’ She wound her arms around him and held tight. Not that she was going to drop to the floor, but any excuse to hold his divine body worked for her. Right now a one-nighter did seem the perfect finish to the evening. And quite likely, if his reactions to her were an indicator that they might be on the same page. Strange how the usual warning lights weren’t flashing in her head. Finn was that wonderful?
Oh, yeah.
When the music was stopped so everyone could take a break and top up their drinks, Finn walked with her to the bar and asked, ‘Another drink?’
‘Thanks.’ She’d prefer a kiss but she wasn’t rushing. Every moment spent with Finn was the best.
He nodded at the queue at the bar. ‘We could be waiting a while.’
‘Let’s get some fresh air in the meantime.’
He looked at her, his mouth lifting at the corners. ‘Good idea.’
The breath she’d been holding leaked across her lips. Phew. They were on the same page. Weren’t they? She was being quite forward for her. Usually she was the one putting the brakes on when it came to getting close to a man. Said a lot about Finn and how he was affecting her.
Out in the foyer they headed for a quiet, darker corner, now hand in hand. Then Finn was hauling her up against him, his mouth finding hers. Her head spun as she pressed her lips against his. He tasted wonderful, like an aphrodisiac. He was an aphrodisiac. His tongue was in her mouth, touching, teasing, turning her on so fast she couldn’t keep up. It was as if she’d never had sex before, or hadn’t known it could be this wonderful, when they were only kissing for the first time. From top to toes, her body burned with need.
Suddenly Finn set her back, away from his body. His arms dropped to his sides as he took a step away, staring at her as though he’d never seen her before. She stopped breathing, stopped pulsing. What was going on?
‘I’m sorry. I can’t do this.’
The words blasted through her head like a bullet. ‘What?’ Rejecting her already? Without knowing anything about her? No way. ‘Finn, what’s going on?’ She thought she was speaking firmly but her voice was shaky.
‘It wouldn’t be fair on you. There are things about me you don’t know.’ With that, he turned and strode out of the pub, out of her life. Gone, leaving her aching, shocked that he could do such a thing so abruptly. Almost as if she’d drawn him into something he didn’t want, something he’d gone along with to oblige her. But he had said it wouldn’t be fair on her.
Damn right it wasn’t fair. Despair sliced through her. Once again she’d been rejected, this time for a different reason than usual, one she didn’t understand. Worse, it had happened so suddenly.
‘I’m sorry. I can’t do this.’
Hamish’s words hung in the air, making her shiver. But this time it hadn’t been Hamish saying them. That was Finn walking away as though she meant nothing more than a pesky fly. He hadn’t said anything else, and she was supposed to accept that? Of course she would, because that was what she’d done in the past. It was who she’d become: a coward when it came to getting close to men.
Kate hugged herself tight. Talk about confusing. She and Finn had danced together and he’d appeared to be happy. He’d been the one to pull her into his arms and start kissing her. Not that it had crossed her mind to back off. She’d wanted his kiss. This was a whole new experience. They’d only started kissing; he hadn’t seen the scarring that had driven other men away. But he’d still walked out of the building.
Guess she should be grateful that she wouldn’t be exposing her weakness. Except she didn’t like that at all. For once she’d actually believed she might’ve been able to overcome those fears enough to have a wonderful night. Now she’d never know. Finn had gone. It was probably for the best, but it still hurt. She’d wanted him more than she could believe. Which had to be a warning in itself.
Best she head home and take a cold shower, though she’d already cooled off a lot as she watched him walk away. Finn might heat her up fast and have her body craving for him, but he wasn’t her type if he could do that so abruptly. If she hadn’t seen the shock and disappointment in his eyes she’d have thought he was too confident and sure of himself for her liking. But seeing those expressions made her wonder if there might be a lot more to this man than she could begin to imagine.
He was so damned sexy it was scary. And exciting.
And whatever she’d imagined happening was over before it had even begun. He’d rejected her, as others had before him.
