The Rancher Resolution
Yazar
Viv Royce
Okur
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22
CHAPTER ONE
AIRPORTS WERE A great place to people watch. To sit and observe how nervous elderly couples kept asking each other if they really had their passports and boarding passes, how mothers calmed excited kids and how business executives tried to finish all-important emails amidst the noise the others created.
It always made April Williams smile. She had traveled so often, all over the world, that airports almost felt like home to her. She was familiar with all the sounds and smells, and she didn’t get upset anymore about sudden delays or the prospect of her luggage ending up in a completely different destination than she did. She was calm whatever happened, a skill also acquired during her work as cruise attendant.
Still some sort of nervousness crept through her system right now as she stood waiting for her luggage to appear. Nerves that only assaulted her at this particular airport. Because she was going home to Heartmont, that small Colorado town at the foot of the Rockies where her family ran a ranch with livestock and apple orchards. That town she had grown up in thinking she’d stay there all her life. But she had left, quite abruptly, because she had seen no other way. And whenever she went home, on leave, bittersweet memories surfaced and she felt the pain again of the decision to leave and everything that had brought her to that point. All the reasons.
“Hey, little Miss Sunshine.” The warm male voice came from behind.
April froze. That was one of those reasons.
She turned slowly, pasting on the smile she always used with unhappy passengers. She could be cool about this, strictly professional. It didn’t matter at all that the man who stood behind her had broken her heart nine years ago.
In his midthirties, Matt Carpenter was as tall and broad shouldered as he had been in high school where he had easily made the football team. He wore a leather jacket over a checkered shirt and stone-washed jeans. He still had his dark curls and those irresistible chocolate brown eyes that sparkled as he looked at her. Her breath caught for a moment as he stood there before her, materialized out of nowhere and giving her that wonderful warm smile. But she had long since learned it wasn’t a special smile for her. Matt was friendly to everyone. And he liked to tease her in particular. Little Miss Sunshine, the nickname from the time she had taken care of his daughter Belle after his wife had died unexpectedly.
Everything in Matt’s life had happened on an accelerated time line: he had married the love of his life at eighteen, and at twenty-three, after a tragic plane crash had swept his wife away, he had suddenly found himself a widower, a single father and the proprietor of the ranch-style hotel his wife and he had taken over from Matt’s parents.
At a time where others might graduate college and look for a first job, get engaged or still be dating, Matt had faced a crying little girl asking for her mommy and the responsibilities of a business that had to provide steady income. Matt’s father, who lived with the young family, had been a big help, but more hands were needed and April, who had been fresh out of community college with an associate’s degree, had been looking for a local job. Bonding quickly with lovely four-year-old Belle and spending lots of time with Matt as well, she had fallen hopelessly in love with him and he hadn’t had a clue. She had believed they were growing closer especially as he had helped her through a dark time in her life after her father’s sudden death and then suddenly everything had been broken and she had left Heartmont. Had left her dreams of ever loving Matt and being loved in return. And still as she faced him now, her heart made a silly leap inside her and her knees grew weak.
What was he doing here? Why did he have to be here, of all people, when she arrived home? She had hoped to avoid him, or better even to see him from a distance and discover she wasn’t feeling anything anymore. That her infatuation of old had disappeared and she could look back on it with a smile but without being emotionally invested.
The breathtaking turmoil inside her told her it wasn’t meant to be.
“Where are your bags?” Matt asked. He still had that wonderful warm baritone voice that made a shiver go down her spine.
“My bags?” she repeated, unable to tear her gaze away from the light shadow of stubble on his jaw.
“Yes, I assume you didn’t get here with just the clothes you’re wearing. Don’t women need a ton of everything? Belle keeps telling me I have no idea how that is.”
The mention of his daughter made April smile. She had babysat Belle often, cooked meals for her and even done a few outings with both the little girl and Matt. Feeling part of that little family had meant so much to her. Even when she had left town, heartbroken, she hadn’t been able to tear herself away completely. She had kept sending Belle postcards from all the exotic destinations where the ships she worked on docked and Belle had sent letters and later emails in return. Their connection might be more casual because April no longer lived in Heartmont but still she had a fond feeling whenever the girl’s name came up.
Matt’s smile deepened, pushing a dimple into his left cheek. “Your bags?” he pressed.
“I’ll get them.” April turned away with a flush. Fortunately, at this small airport the luggage pickup wasn’t far and her single suitcase had just appeared. She liked to travel light. Hoping Matt would ascribe her high color to exertion or the heat in the reception hall, she grabbed the bag. It felt like a desperate reach for something solid that would keep her from getting totally knocked off her feet again by this man.
“Let me carry that,” Matt said and gently pulled the suitcase from her. His fingers brushed hers and a warm feeling seeped through her hand into her arm. It spread like ink soaked into tissue paper and settled in her heart. Something so familiar and feel-good, and still so unwanted. She shouldn’t be feeling this. She didn’t want to see him or talk to him. Everything he said would make the connection stronger, revive the old bond.
“Why are you here?” she asked. She couldn’t keep a sharp edge out of her voice.
“To pick you up.” He eyed her innocently.
“You knew I was coming? How?” She hadn’t told Belle in her last email, because she had been worried the girl would invite her over to the ranch hotel and she didn’t want to go there. Once she was back in town, she’d set up a meeting with Belle on neutral ground.
Matt explained, “I was at the orchard this morning and your mother told me.” The orchard was Williams Apple Orchard, located a few miles outside of Heartmont, and part of the ranch her brother, Cade, ran ever since their father had died of a heart attack ten years ago. Dad’s death was so unexpected that April had been completely disoriented. She had walked about in a daze, not knowing how to make sense of all the emotions washing through her. Losing her beloved father had been hard but on top of that, she had to deal with Cade who had started to act as if he was suddenly entitled to make all the decisions at the ranch... He was a good guy and she did love him, but he could be so stubborn about doing things his way. He didn’t ask for advice, didn’t seem to need help. She had felt locked out, even superfluous. Her ideas didn’t seem to matter because Cade could do it all by himself. That had also contributed to her decision to leave. Maybe she had hoped that Cade would miss her and ask her to come back?
He hadn’t so apparently everything had gone fine without her.
Matt continued, “Your mother was a bit worried about who could pick you up as Cade was busy with his girlfriend for the celebrations tonight.”
Yes, since the summer, Cade actually had a girlfriend. April hadn’t met her yet but she had heard a lot about her. Especially the phrase, “Lily changed everything around.” For Cade, for the ranch after a storm had hit, even for the town with all of her brilliant marketing ideas. April was happy for her brother, Ma, the locals, but it did make her feel even more superfluous. As if there was no place for her in Heartmont anymore. Maybe that shouldn’t hurt, as she had her own life, her career and a shining future ahead of her, but still... Whenever she traveled home, something tugged at her heartstrings and a voice in the back of her head asked her if she was really happy living as she did. Far away from the country life that had once fitted her like a glove.
“What celebrations?” she asked quickly to divert her thoughts.
“The big New Year’s Eve celebrations in town.” Matt made a dismissive gesture as if he didn’t much care for them. “There will be food and music, dancing, fireworks. It’s been advertised for weeks. I’ve referred all the hotel guests to it and will be attending myself, with Belle.”
They were walking side by side out of the airport reception hall into the parking lot. The wind hit her cheeks like an icy breath on her skin and the scent of snow was in the air. April looked up. “If it isn’t clear tonight, it’s going to be a problem for the fireworks.” Her mind was already reaching for a solution, but she realized that wasn’t necessary here. She wasn’t working. They could very well manage without her impromptu advice. After all, nothing was more annoying than people butting in when no one asked them to.
Matt hmmm-ed. He pointed ahead to a dark red SUV that was parked beside a yellow compact. “There’s my car.” The sturdy SUV had a symbol of a running horse on the side and white lettering: Carpenter Hotel Ranch—Western Experience. Established inside a former ranch house and stables, the hotel had a Western theme in the rooms and offered guests the opportunity to explore the area on horseback or, if they weren’t experienced riders, in a horsedrawn cart.
At the thought of horses April’s stomach clenched. She knew she hadn’t been to blame for the accident with Flame, but her decision to go against Matt’s explicit instructions about that particular horse had caused the breach with Matt that had sent her away from Heartmont. He hadn’t accepted her apologies, but simply agreed with Cade’s assessment it was better if she stopped working at the hotel. Like he had decided that, after one mistake, he couldn’t trust her anymore.
After all they had been through together, he had simply let her go. He had said he was sorry and it was better this way, but she had never truly understood why.
That was a long time ago, but still... As they walked here together, it grated that he hadn’t said outright that he was angry with her. That he thought it had been irresponsible and that he was disappointed because he had believed he could count on her to follow instructions and not endanger the horses or herself. It would have been hard to hear him put his feelings into words, but he had every right to say it. If he had only been honest with her. Not hidden behind a wall of silence.
Matt put the suitcase in the back of the SUV and then opened the passenger door for April. “It’s probably chilly inside as well, but I’ll get the heating on in a second.”
The car smelled of Matt. He had this particular vanilla aftershave he had used for as long as she could remember and the scent wrapped itself around her as she settled in the seat and clicked the safety belt in place. She so wished he had switched to another aftershave, that he had changed his looks, that he had suddenly become a stranger whom she didn’t recognize anymore. A man who talked too much and only about himself, someone who was easy to dislike.
Why oh why did he have to be nice, considerate, handsome, so much like the Matt she used to know?
It was really unfortunate he had come to meet her. She was tired from the long flight from Miami, emotional about coming home and then to find him waiting for her. It was a recipe for disaster.
Nonsense, she chided herself, he wasn’t even waiting for you in any personal sense. He merely obliged when Ma asked him to fetch you. He couldn’t say no to her, even though it was inconvenient. It’s that community thing where you step in when someone asks you to. It’s probably just another chore to him.
She had to imagine that he hadn’t wanted it, had been talked into it, that he was sorry already. That way she could keep the memories at arm’s length. And the longing for those old times when they had understood each other and she had felt so safe with him.
Matt slipped in beside her and turned the ignition on. He rubbed his hands a moment. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Mind what?” she asked in confusion.
“That I came to get you.”
The emphasis puzzled her. She assumed Matt had never noticed her feelings for him and believed that they had parted on good terms. Yes, he had fired her after the accident with Flame, but that had been done at the request of her brother. She had always assumed Matt believed he was doing what her family wanted, what was best in the situation. Why would he think there were still ill feelings on her part after nine years? Most people forgot much sooner than that.
Avoiding looking him in the eye, she said, in a forced cheerful tone, “Not at all. As long as I can get a ride home, I don’t mind at all who is driving.” She loosened her scarf and Matt focused on the traffic in the busy parking lot. Even though it was a small airport, there was lively activity on the last day of the year.
“Lots of people coming home for New Year,” he observed. “I suppose lots of people will also be cruising?”
“Yes, certainly. Christmas was incredibly busy and New Year is the same.” April folded the scarf into fours in her lap. “People love the glam on board with the champagne dinner at night and the dancing... Counting down to twelve o’clock together.” There was something special about celebrating New Year’s Eve on a cruise ship. She had done it numerous times now and still the atmosphere got to her every time. She could readily imagine how it was for those experiencing it for the very first time.
“If it’s that busy, I’m surprised you could get a leave,” he observed.
“There are hundreds of employees aboard those huge ships. Everybody has their allotted task, from ensuring the buffets are properly stocked to keeping the deck areas tidy or working in one of the shops, bars or the casino. Besides, I haven’t had a vacation in quite a while. The higher you climb in the ranks, the less free time you have.” She wondered if this was a good moment to bring up her big promotion news, but it might sound a bit braggy, coming out of the blue. And her closest family didn’t even know yet. She should tell them before she shared with others.
She continued, “Ma gave me a hard time that she wanted me to come home. She kept repeating the fact I haven’t even seen my new nephew yet. Gina’s little boy is almost three months now and I have yet to meet him.”
“Don’t you like coming home?” Matt’s voice was brisk as if it was a normal conversational question. But for April it was connected with so many feelings. Her guilt and regret about the situation with Flame, her grief and loss after she had to leave her job at the hotel and the little family she had become so attached to. Feelings she didn’t want to have right now as she sat beside this man who had played such a big role in her decision to leave nine years ago. But she was no longer twenty-one and aching for Matt’s recognition that he needed her, or Cade’s admission that he wanted her input about the ranch. She had built a beautiful career in the travel industry and recently received a major promotion. It was time to leave the past behind her and accept that maybe the word home carried a different feeling than it had when she had been younger but that was a normal consequence of growing up and finding her own place in life.
She tried to sound casual as she scrambled to list a few innocent reasons for her hesitance to return to the Williams ranch. “It’ll be pretty crowded at the ranch, you know. Cade’s girlfriend is staying and Gina is settled there with the kids.”
“But you love children, right? You were so good with Belle when she was little.”
Yeah, that’s why you let me go. April turned her head away to look out the side window. “Of course I love children. But the twins seem to be in love with Cade’s girlfriend so they won’t really be waiting for me to drop by. It’s Auntie Lily this and Auntie Lily that if Ma is to be believed.” April realized she was clenching her hands and relaxed them. She didn’t want Matt to think she resented Lily’s popularity. It wasn’t about Lily really but about the unsettling feeling there wasn’t a place for her in Heartmont anymore. People had moved on, lives had developed in different directions and... She was the outsider, just breezing in for a few days. Not someone who belonged here. Even Lily who had come from the big city to help with marketing the ranch was more a part of the family than April was.
At least, that was how it felt. But she had to get over that silly feeling. She rushed to explain, “I just have to get used to it, you know. My brother with a woman by his side... I’m really happy though that Cade found someone. He was alone for too long.”
She took a deep breath and steeled herself mentally against the answer before asking, “How about you?”
“Hmmm?” Matt asked as if he didn’t follow.
“How have you been?” Coward, she chided herself, you should have asked, “Are you still single?”
But why would I care?
She did cast a quick look at his hands on the wheel. No wedding band in sight. Of course not. Belle would have told her if her dad had remarried. Still, would she mention it if he was dating? Probably not. Their emails were infrequent, especially in the last few months.
“Okay, I guess.” Matt shrugged. “Busy with the hotel and the horses. Trying to raise my daughter single-handed. Of course there’s Dad but... Well, Belle is at an age now where she doesn’t share much.”
April nodded. It would probably have been easier if Matt’s mother had still been alive and could have talked to her granddaughter. But she had passed away even before Belle was born. And after Matt’s wife had passed away as well, it had been just two men and a four-year-old girl, trying to make do. She was sure both Matt and his dad had showered Belle with love, but as she grew up, she had to want a female influence in her life, someone to talk to and confide in. April’s last two postcards had gone without a reply. She had accepted with a little sigh of regret that Belle was probably too old now to appreciate them. “Sixteen, right?” she asked to keep him talking.
“Right. She’s doing great in school and she volunteers at the library. She thinks up projects there to get kids reading and... But you probably know all about that already from her emails.”
April nodded. She had always been glad Matt supported her wish to stay in touch with Belle, but right now she wondered if it would’ve been smarter to break off all contact and avoid the ongoing reminder of the dream of a family she had lost.
“I’m really proud of her,” Matt said.
“But...?” April queried. She studied Matt’s features closer. A sort of frown sat between his eyes.
“Is there a but?” Matt asked.
“There usually is.” April settled better in the seat and patted the scarf in her lap. “It can’t be easy to raise a child on your own, and especially a girl. I mean... You’re not exactly a big talker and...”
“Oh great, so it’s my fault that whenever I ask her about friends or something, I get the cold shoulder?”
April grinned to herself. “Friends as in boys, I presume?”
Matt had the decency to turn red under the collar. “I’m generally interested in the people she hangs out with...” he protested weakly.
April snorted. “You do mean boys and Belle knows that. She won’t let herself be quizzed only to then get a lecture from you.”
Matt glanced at her. The look in his deep brown eyes was genuinely worried. “Does it make me such a bad dad if I want to know who my daughter is seeing?”
“No. It’s logical. But I know it doesn’t work.” She hesitated a moment and then added, “I know from experience. I didn’t have one father growing up, I had two. Big brother Cade was always watching out for me, you know, making sure I didn’t get hurt.”
“And that was wrong?”
“I know Cade meant well. And I never really hated him for it but...he didn’t give me room to breathe. To make choices. Mistakes, even if I had to.”
“I can understand he wanted to protect you. You were such a perky little thing. It would have been a shame if someone had hurt you, broken your heart.”
Perky little thing, huh? Little Miss Sunshine. Little April. The Williams girl. She had always been treated as a vulnerable creature that needed protection. She had become so tired of it and it had been one of the reasons she’d left town. One of many reasons.
Matt glanced at her again. “How do you think I can convince Belle I only want the best for her?”
“Oh, she knows that. That’s not the problem.” April began refolding the scarf. “Everyone means well, you know. But all those good intentions...”
“Hmmm.” Matt nodded and focused on the road with a sad expression. “Well, I guess I don’t know what to do then.”
There was a deep silence. April looked out the window at the snow covered fields they were passing. It was going to be a long drive to Heartmont.
Matt released breath audibly. “I’ve often heard that cliché about not being able to be a father and a mother to your child. But I never felt like that. Me and Belle, we were so close. I was sure it would always be that way.” He swallowed.
April bit her lip. She didn’t want him to be hurting, to feel like he had failed in raising Belle. He hadn’t. It was only natural that she wanted space, room to develop and find her own way in life. But to Matt it had to be like he was losing the daughter who was the center of his world after his wife had died.
“For the first time...” Matt said with difficulty, “I feel like Belle needs something I can’t give her. There are things she obviously can’t talk about with me. And she doesn’t have a grandmother either, just a grumpy grandpa. Her words, not mine.”
April said, “She does love your father very much.”
“I know. And Pa loves her. You should see the two of them when they organize an Italian restaurant night. Pa bakes the pizzas and Belle does the decorations for the table.” A smile relaxed his tight features for a moment. Then the tension returned and he clenched the wheel. “It’s just that she doesn’t have a female role model. Someone who can talk to her about things that interest her.”
“Like boys,” April supplied. “You wish she confided in someone who could then tell everything to you.”
“No, that’s not it. I’m worried she’s struggling with issues and not finding a listening ear. I don’t have to hear anything about it. Probably better that there are things I don’t know. I mean, I can understand it’s cringey to have your dad know girl’s stuff. I just... I don’t want her to feel...alone.”
The genuine hurt in his voice touched April. She wanted to reach out and put her hand on his arm. Comfort him by letting him know she was there for him when he needed to vent.
But she shouldn’t get close to Matt. That was dangerous. “I’m sure Belle isn’t alone. She must have friends from school she can talk to. Girls her own age who are dealing with the same things.”
“They’re putting her up to no good. Not doing homework and wearing too much makeup.”
Aha. April suppressed a smile. “So you’re actually looking for a female role model who can act as a sort of cop, deciding what your daughter is and isn’t allowed to do?”
“I’m just afraid I’m losing my little girl.”
Again the honest pain in his voice grabbed April inside. She didn’t want him to feel like he had failed. That he’d lose his precious daughter too. That nothing of the family he had once wanted to build would be left. The family he had sacrificed his football dreams for.
At the time when Kennedy had died in that plane crash, it had seemed so cruel, so unfair. That the woman Matt had given his all for was simply snatched away from him, leaving him heartbroken. Even thinking of it now made her throat constrict.
“Belle loves you—you know that,” she said softly.
“But the peer pressure... All of those so-called friends telling her she needs to have a boyfriend too and school is boring and...” Matt glanced at April again. “I don’t know what’s come over her, April. She is so quiet and she looks so sad sometimes. And when I ask her about college, next year, what she’d like to study, she says she doesn’t know and maybe she doesn’t need a college degree and she can just stay here and work at the hotel. Now it’s not like my little girl not to want to go to college. There must be something... I thought that... You helped raise her after Kennedy died. You were there for her during those first hard years. Belle clung to you. Your postcards always make her smile. She saved all of them, over the years. She loves to hear stories about life on board and... I thought that maybe you could get through to her now. Because I can’t anymore.” He raked his hand through his hair again.
The helpless gesture touched April’s heart. She wished Ma hadn’t shared her worries about who could pick up April with Matt, and he hadn’t appeared at the airport. She already felt that unfortunate spark of attraction and then this emotional confession about Belle... The little girl April had cared for, almost as if...
She was her own daughter?
Yes, there had been an outing to a playground two years after Kennedy had died where Matt and Belle had been playing and April had come back from fetching something to drink and an older lady had said to her, out of the blue: “You have a lovely daughter.” And looking at Matt pushing Belle on the swing, April had wished with all of her heart that Belle was her daughter and Matt was her husband and they’d be together always.
But she should have realized then she was just little April to him, that lovable tomboy from town who rode ponies and baked cookies and was just like a friend to him. A friend, not a potential love interest. That was the trouble staying in the town where you grew up: no matter how old you became, most people still saw you as a little kid, never quite as an equal. You never lost that cuteness.
Matt said, “So you think it’s pretty full at the Williams ranch, huh?”
She guessed he wanted to return to an innocent topic and nodded. “Yeah. I’d really rather stay in a B&B or something but everything is fully booked.”
“I have a guest room at the ranch for you.”
She sat up straight as if lightning had struck her. What? Why would he offer her to stay with him?
She didn’t dare look at him lest she betray her confusion and the underlying... “I thought you’d be fully booked too.”
“The hotel quarters are. This would be at the house. You’d be right next to Belle’s room.”
April stared ahead, too flustered to respond. He’d just invited her into his home? Then another thought struck her. “Next to Belle’s room?” Things clicked into place. “Wait a minute. This whole chat about you needing a female role model for her...”
“She adores you. She has kept each and every card you sent her. From all the ports your ships visited. You promised her a postcard from every destination when you left town but...” He looked at her. “I guess I thought you’d do it for a few months. Maybe a year or two? But nine years... That is being true to your word.”
April flushed. How could she confess that sending those cards kept her connected to the little girl she had helped care for and the man she had been in love with? She had seen countless handsome men on the cruises. Away from work, on leave, she had sometimes dated, but no one had ever been able to match up to Matt Carpenter.
Or maybe no one had been able to match up to the romantic fantasy in her head of what Matt and she could have been if everything had been different.
She should let go of it. She had been awarded her big promotion now. She had climbed the ladder step by step, all the way from deckhand running errands to Crew Agent. When she returned to the ship, she’d get her very first uniform. With a single gold stripe on the sleeve. She’d make it two as soon as she could. The cruise world was her life. She had worked so hard for this achievement. It would mean even less time spent ashore and more responsibilities toward her team and the passengers. That was where her future lay.
Her infatuation with Matt had to end. She needed to see him for what he truly was. Just a man. Not someone special.
Certainly not the one.
So why not stay with him for a while? See him in action? Draw the conclusion that he wasn’t perfect after all? That she really wasn’t in love with him anymore? Because she had been away for so long, she had been able to keep her fantasy alive but it wasn’t reality. And spending time with him, for real, would soon show her that. Time had gone by, people changed, Matt had to have changed as well.
In any case, April had changed. She wasn’t the girl anymore who walked around all starry-eyed and in love. No, she’d face this situation with a cool head, approach the issue realistically. What were the odds of Matt ever seeing her as anything other than little April? Zero.
So how about letting the whole thing go?
Finally.
It was the last day of the year. Time to make resolutions for the New Year that was about to begin. What if one of her resolutions was to fall out of love with Matt Carpenter? To use her stay here to finally close the book on that unhappy love affair that had been more like a crush anyway, and unrequited too?
Wasn’t it sad to cling to a silly teenage dream for so long? Wasn’t it about high time she did something about it?
Matt said, “I know you probably had a different idea for your vacation than to stay at my place and become friends with my daughter but...”
“I already am friends with your daughter. And I’d love to spend time with her and get to know her better. I want to see the changes made to the library she wrote to me about and play those board games she mentioned. I want to be part of her world for a bit. I’m sure my mother won’t mind that I come to stay at the family ranch a little later. After all, I have a six-week leave and you know what they say about guests outstaying their welcome... And I can still drop by to see little Barry and play with the girls.”
It would be easier not to stay at the family ranch full-time at first, but she could visit, feel out the new situation with Cade’s girlfriend in the mix. If she was there 24/7, she might not be able to stay rational about the past, and the last thing she wanted was to end up in a heated argument with Cade and blame him for what happened after Dad’s death when she had been excluded from the decision making about the ranch’s future. He’d only be hurt and probably not see what he had done wrong as he had only been protecting her and providing for the family, in his mind.
“I’d love to stay with you and connect with Belle. But I won’t be your spy. And I won’t tell her things you want me to convey to her. Like no makeup?”
Matt raised a hand. “No problem. I’m not even saying no makeup. I just noticed that some of her friends wear it in spades and well...”
“Matt Carpenter.” April turned in her seat as far as the safety belt would let her to glare at him. “I’m willing to spend my precious vacation days at your ranch because I genuinely like your daughter and I want to find out if she’s struggling with something that I can help her with. Her, not you. You understand?”
Matt nodded. “I understand. I won’t ask you what you two discuss or... Just as long as you find out why she suddenly doesn’t want to go to college anymore and you persuade her that she has to. Please?” His voice grew husky. “I gave up on my football scholarship, my chance to study and I want her to do better than me. To get somewhere in life. I want her to have all the opportunities, to become whatever she wants.”
His words pierced April’s heart. “I can’t promise that, Matt. I want our connection to be based on mutual trust and respect. I won’t invade her privacy, force her to confide in me. After all, I may have sent her postcards for nine years but that doesn’t mean we know each other at all.”
“She remembers that you took care of her, April. She knows you have a good heart.” Matt cast her a quick smile. “You are one of the kindest, most compassionate people I know. You won’t judge her. She knows that. If you just stay with us and spend time with her, she’ll tell you what’s bothering her.”
“Maybe.” April rubbed her hand over her jeans. It was suddenly a bit clammy. What was she setting herself up for? Either Belle wouldn’t confide in her and then Matt’s problem wouldn’t be solved and the whole stay would have been pointless. Or Belle would tell her things that she couldn’t tell Matt because she didn’t want to break the girl’s trust in her. It felt like either way she couldn’t win.
And what if Belle confessed something major?
Matt said, “We can drop your luggage at my place and you can see Belle for a minute. Then you can take my car to your family to meet little Barry. If that’s alright with you?”
April nodded. “Fine.” She didn’t want to turn up at her family’s place with Matt. Ma would invite him inside for coffee and cake and his presence would be a little distracting at a moment where she wanted to focus fully on seeing her family again and meeting the newest addition. Dropping her luggage off first and then going to see her family by herself would be perfect.
Matt said, “I’m so glad you want to do this. I’ve been really worried about Belle lately. But having you here makes me feel better already.”
“Happy to help.” April forced a smile.
No pressure.
