Rescue My Drowning Heart

“Lips meet teeth and tongue. My heart skips eight beats at once.” —Billie Eilish.

Chapter Theme Song: “Watch” by Billie Eilish.

THIRD PERSON

Harmony’s world seems to freeze as his lips finally touch hers. Her heart flutters wildly, overwhelmed by the warmth and softness of his mouth against hers.

She keeps her eyes tightly shut, wanting to focus solely on this moment. This is her first kiss, a milestone she wants to fully experience. But it’s not quite how she pictured it.

There’s a saying that goes, ‘he who kisses with his eyes open isn’t feeling at all.’ Blaze’s eyes are half-open, watching her with a satisfied look, so maybe there’s some truth to it.

Her lips are as soft as she appears, and he knows she’s never kissed anyone before. When he tries to deepen the kiss, she pulls back slightly.

Understanding she’s not ready for more, he keeps the kiss gentle, even though it’s not his usual style.

Blaze is all about passion and intensity when it comes to sex and intimacy. He’s not one for sweet pecks or innocent smooches; they’re too tame for his taste.

But he reins himself in, not wanting to scare off this delicate girl who often seems to see him as some kind of terrifying ghost.

He ends the kiss slowly, watching her with a soft smile as she slowly opens her eyes.

His face is still close to hers, and she breathes in sharply, still processing the fact that their lips just met.

Blaze gives her a moment to collect herself, seeing that she’s a bit dazed.

“Was that your first kiss?” he asks, and she nods, a little shy about admitting it.

Some might find it strange that she’s never been kissed at eighteen. She’s not sure if Blaze is one of those people, but she’s pretty sure he’s been the first kiss for many girls.

She won’t be the first, and she probably won’t be the last.

“I can tell,” he murmurs, and she bites her lower lip, feeling a lump forming in her throat.

Then Blaze sees something unexpected. Her eyes start to well up, tears shimmering in her wide, vulnerable eyes.

He tilts his head, watching as she quickly wipes them away.

“Why are you crying?”

She shrugs, her small shoulders lifting as her face turns red and wet. “I don’t know... It’s just a special moment for me, I guess.”

Blaze looks at her in silence. This is new to him. He’s never seen a girl cry over her first kiss.

“It was special to you?” he asks, referring to their intimate moment.

She nods, sniffling as she wipes away more tears. “Yes. It meant the world to me.”

He studies her quietly. Did it really mean so much to her that she cried? He can’t remember the last time he shed real tears.

And then he feels it. A tiny prick of guilt—not much, but enough for him to notice. He frowns, looking away, wondering where that strange feeling came from.

But as quickly as it came, it’s gone, replaced by a sense of achievement.

He just took her first kiss, and he’s eager to see what else he can do to this innocent angel in front of him.

Harmony did enjoy the kiss, but now that her senses are back, she realizes how out of character she’s been tonight.

She didn’t just touch a boy’s face, she let him kiss her. This isn’t like her, and she’s not comfortable with this sudden change.

“I...I think I should go,” she mumbles, picking up her sketchpad from the bed.

Blaze’s demeanor changes, becoming distant and detached. He looks down, as if his mission for the night is over and he doesn’t need to ‘pretend’ anymore.

“Okay.” He taps his finger against his knee, a habit when he’s deep in thought. “See you around.”

She looks at him, noticing his change in attitude. His lips are pressed together, his face blank, his gaze avoiding hers.

She stands up slowly, her brows furrowing. As she grabs her bag from the couch, she hears him say a dry goodbye.

“It was nice drawing with you.”

She turns to him, seeing that he’s finally looking at her, a small smile on his face.

“Yeah...it was nice for me too.”

She gives him a tight smile, and he lets his own smile widen a little. But he’s the first to break eye contact, looking down at his phone in his hand.

Disappointment. Regret. Those two emotions are fighting for control of her heart.

She liked the kiss, but his reaction afterward confused her. She’s not sure what she expected, but his sudden formality and strange behavior weren’t it.

As she closes his door behind her, her mind fills with the warnings she’s heard.

“He only uses girls.”

“He is heartless.”

“Stay away from him.”

“You will regret it.”

Maybe she shouldn’t have come to his dorm tonight. She just gave him something she can never give to anyone else. A first kiss is something she can never take back.

HARMONY

With a weary sigh, Harmony sinks onto her bed, burying her face in her pillows with a soft groan.

The memory of hot, red lips against hers, minty breath, and masculine cologne fills her mind, and she shakes her head, trying to erase them.

Harmony’s mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, her first kiss replaying over and over. She touches her lips, her stomach fluttering at the memory.

Blaze kissed me. The setting wasn’t what she’d imagined for her first kiss, but she can’t deny that she enjoyed it.

His lips were impossibly soft, like they were made of marshmallows rather than flesh.

She buries her face in her pillow, her cheeks burning like a middle-schooler with a crush.

The door creaks open and Harmony quickly pulls her head from the pillow. April, her roommate, walks in, a knowing grin on her face.

“You okay?” April asks, closing the door behind her.

“Um, yes.” Harmony sits up, smoothing her hair with shaky hands.

April laughs. “Okay...” She narrows her eyes, studying Harmony. “You just look a little flustered.”

“I’m okay.”

April shakes her head, a smile playing on her lips. She drops her glittery black purse onto the table and flops onto the bed. “I’m so tired.”

“How was the restaurant?” Harmony asks, tucking her feet beneath her, hoping the blush will fade from her cheeks.

If she keeps blushing like this, April will figure out that she and Blaze, her cousin, kissed despite all the warnings she’d given them.

April shrugs. “It was okay. But it would have been better if you were there...and if Blaze were there. But he said he had plans. I don’t know what was more important than dinner with his cousin.”

Harmony’s brow furrows in thought.

Did Blaze cancel his dinner plans to be with me? The idea warms her heart, but she doesn’t want to overthink it, especially since he became distant after the kiss.

She decides not to read too much into what happened tonight or get her hopes up for something that might be nothing.

Falling for a guy just because he gave you your first kiss isn’t a good idea. She knows this.

“Anyway, have you seen Blaze recently?”

Harmony tenses, her mind racing. Should she tell the truth or hide the fact that she saw him tonight?

She decides to be honest.

“No, I haven’t seen him recently.”

Wait, that’s not what I meant to say.

Ignoring her inner frustration, she inwardly groans at the lie she just told.

“Okay, good. I was worried he would keep bothering you. Blaze never gives up until he gets what he wants. Just don’t let him kiss you, that’s how it starts.”

She stands up and Harmony bites her lip guiltily.

Too late, he already did.

“But he’s nice to me,” Harmony says, choosing to ignore his strange behavior after the kiss.

She figures things just got a little weird and maybe he didn’t know what to say afterward. She has to admit, she felt pretty awkward too.

“Yeah, because he wants something from you. He’s never nice to someone unless he wants something,” April says, walking over to her closet to take off her jacket.

“He’s my cousin, and he doesn’t come over unless he needs a favor.”

“What kind of favor?” Harmony asks, eager for any information about him, even if it hurts.

“Like a girl’s number or to borrow my car if his is in the shop.

“He’s been best friends with James since high school and he only hangs out with him to meet the girls he knows. He doesn’t even try to hide it.”

She turns to Harmony, hand on her hip.

“It’s a cycle for him. He sees a girl, he stares at her, he goes after her, he kisses her, then she’s his.”

Harmony realizes that’s exactly what’s been happening between them. He saw her at orientation, he stared at her, he followed her around, and then tonight, he kissed her.

But she’s not fully caught in his web yet, right? She can still get out...right?

“Oh. He sounds like a bad guy,” she mumbles, looking down, and April smiles.

“He’s not, he’s just...troubled.”

Remembering the tragic story of his mother’s death, Harmony considers asking April if it’s true.

But when she looks up again, April is already heading into the bathroom, so she decides to keep her questions to herself.

Besides, she doesn’t want April to find out that she and Blaze have been seeing each other more than they should.

BLAZE

“It was special to you?”

“Yes, it meant the world to me.”

Blaze leans against his headboard, images of Harmony’s wide, teary eyes haunting him. He can’t understand what’s happening to him.

Last night, he could have taken her innocence with one move, but he couldn’t bring himself to go further than a kiss.

He tells himself he didn’t want to scare her off by being too forward, but since when has Blaze Xander ever worried about being too forward?

And then there was that strange feeling when she told him how much their kiss meant to her. His head is probably messed up more than usual because he’s not acting like himself at all.

“Ow, fuck!” he exclaims, clutching his now throbbing neck. “Did you just bite me?”

He stares at the bronze-haired girl sitting on his lap, her creamy thighs pressed against his.

Her face turns red as she mumbles, “It’s called a hickey, Blaze.”

“Damn, that wasn’t a hickey. Are you a vampire or something?”

“Sorry.” She tries to kiss his neck again, but he pulls away, grimacing.

His mood has soured so much that he just wants her off him, and he blurts it out before he can stop himself.

“Stop. Please, get off me.”

She looks disappointed. “Why, Blaze?”

“I’m just not into this anymore.”

He never really was.

“Ouch, that hurts.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll see you later.”

He starts to get off the bed, and she reluctantly slides off his lap, pulling down her mini jean skirt as she does. She frowns, settling onto her knees, looking desperate.

“Blaze.”

He ignores her, walking to the kitchen in just his silver necklace and slacks.

He’s in the middle of a bipolar episode, and he doesn’t have the patience for the upset girl in his bed.

If she doesn’t leave his dorm by the time he gets back from the kitchen, he’ll have no choice but to tell her to fuck off.

He opens the fridge and grabs a bottle of water, unscrewing the cap and taking a sip.

The brunette finally gets the hint and leaves, the bed sheets rustling as she walks to the dorm door. She doesn’t close it behind her, and James’s voice echoes through the room.

“Woah. Justine Meyers. President of the music club. You get all the good ones! Damn.”

He closes the door after the angry girl as Blaze puts the water back in the fridge. He returns to the room to find James reaching for the sketch Harmony did on the bedside table.

“Who drew th—”

Blaze snatches the paper from his hand before he can finish his sentence, opening the nightstand drawer and slipping it inside.

James grins at him, raising an eyebrow. “Wait...did Harmony draw that?”

Blaze doesn’t answer, just flops down onto his bed, leaning back on his hands and watching as James gets excited all by himself.

He should be excited too; he took her first kiss. But it’s not as fun as he thought it would be.

“Wow, wait, so she drew you and then you guys had sex, like in Titanic?”

Blaze gives him a flat look. “Please, don’t say another word. I will punch you.”

“This is great news!” James pumps a fist in the air, dancing around like an idiot, and Blaze rolls his eyes, lying back on his bed.

“You’re getting excited about messing up an innocent girl. And I thought I was the asshole.”

James is doing the robot dance now, and Blaze chuckles, shaking his head.

One thing he can say is that when he’s in one of his moods, James acting like a fool always helps, putting him back in a calm state of mind.

Whenever he’s having a bad day, one look at his best friend and he realizes how lucky he is to not be a dork.

“If you don’t stop, I’m going to cut you up with a knife, James.”

“Tell me how it went!” He crashes down next to Blaze, who now has his arm over his eyes, smirking. “I want to hear everything! Was she really a virgin? What color bra was she wearing? Or better yet, what color panties—”

Blaze grabs a pillow and smacks James with it, making him laugh as he throws it back.

“Okay, let’s be serious now. You didn’t have sex with her, did you, Blaze?” James narrows his eyes.

“Nope.” He sits up, cracking his neck. “None of that happened.”

James’s jaw drops, and he slowly reaches out a finger to poke Blaze’s cheek. Blaze frowns. “What are you doing?”

“I’m checking to see if you’re really Blaze Xander and not some fake version of him.”

“James, if you touch my face one more time, I’ll break your finger.”

James grins at the threat, and slowly pokes Blaze’s cheek again. Blaze grabs his finger and twists it.

“Ahhhh! Shit!!” James doubles over, staring at his finger, now trapped in Blaze’s grip.

He knows his best friend doesn’t bluff when it comes to hurting others, so he’s not sure what possessed him to do that.

“Ah-ah-ah! Ow, shit, you’re breaking my damn finger, you psycho! Let go!” He’s almost crying.

Blaze grins, clearly enjoying this more than he should. “If I let you go, what’s in it for me?”

“Blazeeee!” He tugs.

“Say: I am the king of the world.”

James stares at him in disbelief, and Blaze raises an eyebrow, twisting his finger even more.

“Ahh! You’re the king of the world—ow, shit.”

“Say I am the most amazing person to ever be created.” He tries not to grin as James’s face scrunches up in pain.

“W-what are you, five?!”

He twists it. “Say it!”

“Okay, okay! You’re the best person to ever be created! Ah!”

“I didn’t say ‘best.’ I said, ‘most amazing!’”

“What’s the damn difference?!”

Blaze pretends to be shocked. “Do you want to lose your finger?”

“Okay! Okay! You’re the most amazing person to ever be created!”

“Louder!”

“YOU’RE THE MOST AMAZING PERSON TO EVER BE CREATED!”

Blaze finally releases him, laughing heartily as he rises from the bed and heads for the bathroom. Oh, the joy of being in control.

“You’re a crazy, twisted jerk!” James rubs his sore finger, wincing. “I swear, sometimes I think you’re some kind of sociopath!”

Blaze just laughs at that, tossing a casual middle finger over his shoulder as he steps into the bathroom. “Who’s to say I’m not?” His grin is wide and unapologetic as he closes the door behind him.