E.L. Koslo
Hannah
“You want me to go where?”
“Please!” I begged.
“Okay... walk it back and explain this to me slowly.”
I sighed as I leaned against the counter, trying to avoid eye contact with my best friend.
Parker lived down the hallway, but we ended up in each other’s apartments most of the time. Unless he had a boyfriend, then I only saw him when he came up for air.
“My doctor said I’m fat.”
“Girl, you gotta stop letting other people’s opinions make you feel bad. You’re gorgeous.” He rolled his eyes at me.
“You have to say that.”
I mean, I knew I wasn’t ugly, but I always felt like I was being judged for not meeting modern beauty standards.
“Um, no... I don’t. I’d tap that if I was into the whole lady business thing.” He waved a hand in the general direction of my boobs and “lady business”.
“Okay, so she told you what she told you last year.”
“No. Not exactly.” I sighed as I took a deep breath and prepared to unload on him.
“Explain.” He arched an eyebrow and leaned his elbows on the breakfast bar where he was seated.
“She said if I don’t get my shit together, I’m gonna have a stroke or a heart attack before I’m forty.”
I could still feel tears prick in my eyes as I told him, knowing that being complacent with my health may have put me in danger.
“Shit.” The color drained from his face as he looked at me with concern.
“Yeah…”
“So she wants you to go to these classes to help?” he asked as he sat up straighter on his barstool.
“Yes, or a personal trainer, but I don’t want to do that again.”
He rolled his eyes as we both recalled the last disaster. “Don’t let one pig scare you off. Not all trainers are giant douchebags.”
I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms on my chest. That was something I wasn’t wholly convinced of. I’ve met quite a few trainers in the last ten years, and they all treated me differently because I was a big girl.
I'm sure that this mysterious Jordan will be exactly the same.
“I think it’s a great idea,” he enthused as his grin expanded across his face. “It’s gonna suck, but I think it’ll be good for you.”
“So you’ll go with me?” I implored as I tried to channel my best pitiful look. “I signed up yesterday. My first class is tomorrow morning.”
“Ha!” He laughed hysterically, wiping his eyes before he settled down. I tried to resist reaching across the counter to smack him.
“I wasn’t joking.” His face fell as he took in how serious I was. I needed him.
“Seriously? Why me? I already go to the gym.” The tables turned, and I smirked at the panicked tone in his voice.
“Exactly, you’re in shape...ish. You can help keep me motivated.”
He frowned and sat up, his hands smoothing down his front, his palms lingering over his flat stomach. “Oh, thanks, it’s nice to know I’m in shape...‘ish.’ Way to make me feel good about myself.”
“Um...I’m 45 percent peanut butter cup, so you’re practically Adonis.”
We both laughed as I motioned toward my less than flat stomach and referred to my biggest vice. Some people self-medicate with alcohol; I did it with chocolate and peanut butter.
“Fuck,” he finally said, which is how I knew he was about to give in.
“Please?” I pulled out the pouty lips and looked up at him from beneath my lashes. There was no way I was braving this place by myself. I needed someone to keep me from hiding in the locker room.
“You’re gonna owe me.”
My whole body relaxed at his acceptance.
“Oh my God... thank you!” I bounced my way around the counter and hugged his side.
“Just remember this when I need someone to run interference with a hookup,” Parker laughed as I made a face. He already used me for that when I didn’t owe him things.
“You’re not going to make me pretend to be your wife again, are you?” He laughed as he turned and kissed me on the forehead.
“That one was effective, but probably not. Don’t want it getting out to people that I like the jay.”
He shuddered, and I rolled my eyes.
“'Cause vaginas are terrifying.'
He pursed his lips and nodded, causing us to both erupt in laughter again.
“Well... they kinda are. Male equipment is much easier to work with.” He made a crude motion with his hand, and I shook my head.
“Yup... you guys are easy to please.” He was right; the male anatomy was pretty straightforward.
“And we don’t need to take an advanced course in sign language for someone to make us cum.”
“Oh my God, you’re horrible.” I laughed even harder as Parker started making vague hand motions and faces.
“It’s true, though.” The smug look on his face was too much for me. We had often had conversations about how dating men was much easier than dealing with women.
Although, Parker’s tumultuous love life had caused him quite a bit of drama in the not-so-distant past. Gay men could be just as much drama as women.
“Whatever... so you’re in?” He rolled his eyes at the question, but I knew that I had him.
“Yeah...” Parker sighed and laid his head against mine. “I’ll go. I won’t like it. But I’ll go with you. Maybe you’ll end up with a hot instructor.”
“One can only hope.”