The Secrets of Sin Book 2

Mari

When I start to wake up, I’m still in a daze. I reach out to try to find Ben’s warmth.

I pat the deserted mattress, scooting over more and more until I find the edge. This California king feels like miles of nothingness without him in it with me.

I pop my head up from the pillow and comb the wild pieces of hair from sticking to my eyes and mouth.

The room is dark but I know the path to my bathroom by heart. By tapping along the walls, the dimmer switch is easy to find.

Ben had the house set up on voice command like at his old place. I had fallen in love with the voice command on his bathtub, but I couldn’t work his system when I first woke up.

My voice is always too dry and scratchy.

I splash some cool water on my face and slip on a camisole. Leaving my bedroom, it doesn’t take long to figure out what’s going on.

I walk toward the sound of the voices. I can see why my family has turned up here. I know they want to speak about last night. I tiptoe softly, hoping not to give myself away.

I know better than to eavesdrop and I won’t for long, I promise. I just need to hear how bad it is first.

It’s Erik’s voice I hear first.

“No, it’s not okay. I don’t care if that pisses you off. I’m not going to protect your feelings when you and Mari could have been seriously hurt. Get mad. As long as you’re safe.”

“If you think we’re going to sit back and—” That’s Brittany.

“That’s exactly what I think, babe!”

“Both of you keep it the fuck down. If you’re going to hit him, at least do it outside. The gym isn’t back up yet but there’s a spot in the yard I’ve been using for now.”

I can hear them grumble and Brittany whispers something to Erik. I’m sure they have all been worried, but I think they are making it too big of a deal.

“Oh no, you’re right, honey. It wasn’t Mari’s fault. It’s his.”

“Yeah, for once you’re right. It’s mine. I should have been in there with her. I should have gone with my gut. I shouldn’t have let it get this far.

“She shouldn’t still be on that goddamn stage. You think I don’t know that? You think I want my fucking wife stripping for worthless sacks of shit like him?”

My heart jumps into my throat. Not letting this go on another second longer, I come out of hiding.

“Do you really mean that?” I say, the hurt stabbing in my chest. “You really don’t want me working anymore?”

Everyone turns to face me. Ross and Stevie pop up to their feet out of shock.

Brittany takes a half step forward but makes herself stop.

My eyes lock on Ben’s.

He’s silent for a second as he looks like he’s thinking about what to say, which isn’t the kind of thing he normally does.

What is he thinking?

His forehead is creased, and his jaw is set. He looks like he hasn’t slept in over twenty-four hours.

Everyone in the room feels the same as we do, I’m sure. It’s awkward and uncomfortable. My brothers are here and it looks like I’m about to fight with my husband.

I don’t want them to see me as a child even though I know I’ll always be their baby sister.

This isn’t a conversation about letting a nine-year-old go trick or treating by herself. I’m not begging for a chance to prove myself. I have earned this.

I know it was scary but that’s just a part of the job.

The guys seem like they don’t know whether to stay here with us or leave us alone to have our discussion.

The big brother instinct Erik has is strong though and he will stay no matter what, he just isn’t saying anything. Ross and Stevie’s eyes are focused on the floor.

Finally, Ben figures out what he wants to say.

“I’m sorry, kitten. I overreacted. I don’t mean it. I know you’ve worked hard for this.” His sky-blue eyes are on mine and they’re full of concern.

“But?” I ask, sensing that this isn’t all he has to say.

“I wish you had more protection. Now you’re a part-owner and also the main attraction. I think it would be better if you had more security,” Ben says.

“Yeah, people know you in this town now, Mar,” Erik chimes in to back him up. “You’re not just a stripper in some club on the bad side of town anymore.

“You’re a whole act with a name and a business. It’s not the same as it was when you were doing this in secret

“Exactly, you aren’t anonymous anymore and that means people can easily find you if they want to,” Ben adds. “You have a couple of bouncers, but you need better security.”

“I don’t want to sound overprotective but I think he’s right,” says Erik.

Ben looks grateful to have his best friend’s support right now.

“I’d never forgive myself if I couldn’t protect you and something bad happened,” Ben says.

“And think about it Mari, what if something happened to one of the other girls? You’d never forgive yourself,” Erik adds.

He’s right. I wouldn’t.

I think about it for a minute. They’re not completely wrong, obviously. Sin is high profile.

People come from all the towns nearby to see me and sometimes from even further away.

I’m stripper royalty and although I try to keep a positive attitude about everyone in my life, I know that not everyone has good intentions.

I haven’t forgotten about Mom’s boyfriend and her drug dealer.

I remember all too well how completely terrified I was when he picked me up from school and locked me in that closet until Erik came up with a payment.

I don’t have to mention Mr. Keats. I’ve had enough experiences with the ugly side of humanity.

This guy last night wasn’t the first one who got handsy and I’m sure won’t be the last to try. I hear them, I understand.

Maybe it would be good to have more backup in case this kind of thing happens again.

“Okay, I hear you, and I have an idea,” I say.

They seem pleased that I’m not just dismissing them. But I would always try to allay something my husband and my brother are truly worried about.

“First, I appreciate the concern, but this isn’t new. I have been well known for longer than either one of you have known about Sin. That creep wasn’t the first one to break the club’s rules.”

I send a pointed look at Ben, reminding him of the time he saw me dance. How he broke the rules, too. Of course, that was more than welcome.

My thighs clench together from the memory I am happy to revisit. I know he sees it, too.

“I would also like to point out that I do not need to be reminded that I am part-owner.

“Lastly, I would like to mention that I have ten members on my security team, not counting the five others on the doors working the admissions, which includes body checks and pat downs.

“The Bunny does have more than just a few bouncers.”

I take control of the slight nods the boys give me in acknowledgment.

My eyes travel from Erik to Ben before heading to Ross and Stevie, leaving Brittany for last.

When we share a look, I see the tilt of her smile and the way her face shines in happy approval. Folding my hands forward, I move further into the room.

“But that’s not enough. What if Erik comes to help out with security?” I ask.

Erik looks surprised. I guess he never really thought about working at his baby sister’s strip club.

“Your work has been unsteady lately. Wouldn’t you rather have something more reliable than not knowing how many shifts you’re getting?” I say to Erik.

“That way, your work would be easier, and Ben would feel better knowing you’re here in case anything goes wrong.”

Erik shakes his head from side to side, raising his eyebrows like he doesn’t think it’s such a bad idea.

I’m praying he’ll agree. It’ll make Ben feel better about the whole situation. He’d be great for the job, and I always feel safer with family around.

In some ways, it would be the best thing to solve the problem. And it would help Erik at the same time.

“Okay, to be honest, I’m not sure about being there while you’re stripping. I don’t think anyone wants to see their sister like that,” Erik says.

“You wouldn’t have to, bubba. You know I’d never want to make you uncomfortable like that,” I say, trying to sound as reassuring as possible.

I’d feel the same about him being inside while I’m walking around wearing not much more than some well-placed ribbons and a smile, honestly.

“You could mainly work the door and size the customers up before you let them in. You’d only have to come inside if we need help,” I tell him.

He seems relieved to hear that. “So, I could just be there as backup and monitor who gets into the club?” he asks.

“Yes, exactly.”

“And I can turn people away if they look sketchy?”

“Of course, that’s what you’d be hired to do! It pays well, too,” I say.

He’s thinking about it and I think he likes the idea now that he knows he doesn’t have to be inside with me in a bikini.

This would make it so much easier for all of us. I hope he’s going to say yes to my offer.

“Okay, deal,” he says.

“Yes!” I say, giving him a spontaneous hug.

“You’re welcome. I do what I can for my baby sister,” he says, trying to downplay this as much as possible. Now it seems like he is the one doing me a favor.

I search Ben’s eyes for a positive reaction.

This has to make him feel better.

I hope it’ll put his mind at ease.

I don’t want him to worry every time I go to work.

But Ben’s expression is still unsure. I guess this fight unsettled him even though he’s used to violence. It’s always been different when it came to me for him.

Fighting for your wife’s safety is something different. I get that he wants to make sure nothing like what happened is going to happen again.

“Ben, what do you think?” I ask.

He hesitates before he says anything. “Yeah, I think it’s a good idea… It’s better to have Erik there.”

“Sure?” I say, just to lighten the mood. I know how heavy this is.

“Yeah, I think so…,” Ben says, still seeming uncertain.

I decide to take the uncertainty as a reaction to everything that happened tonight and trust that he will feel better with Erik around to keep an eye on the club.

He’s just having a normal reaction to a bad situation. He’ll be fine.

“I’m sure it’ll be okay, kitten,” he says, taking a deep breath like he’s composing himself.

“Sister and brother dream team,” Erik says.

After all the drama that has happened tonight, I feel excited again; like I’ve really achieved something.

I look at Ben. I want him to be proud of what I’ve worked for. He smiles at me and gives me a kiss but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

I think he’s been hiding his feelings about Sin more than I’d realized.

I want to make him see that he doesn’t have to worry about me at work.

I’m so excited about being a business owner. It’s hard for me that he isn’t jumping up and down with me. That he doesn’t want me to do the thing I worked so hard for.

I want to do something, anything, to change his mind.

I think I can still change his mind.

Sin has a way with men.