Colt Book 2

Colt

“I fucking trusted you with her,” Scorp said from beneath me. His chest was heaving. His hands still balled into fists. My blood unleashed onto him, bright on his white t-shirt. “What the fuck happened?”

I shook my head, gulping air into my sore lungs.

“I panicked. I had no idea what to do.”

The antiseptic smell of the hospital clung to me.

I kept tasting it, hearing the sound of the heart monitor.

I’d seen a lot of blood in my life, but the sight of Summer’s blood—our baby’s blood—on my hand made me lose my mind.

“You don’t get to do that anymore. That’s what love and responsibility fucking mean. You don’t get to walk away because things don’t work out. You don’t get to choose,” Scorp roared.

“How? How am I supposed to watch that? I’ve lost hundreds of men, Scorp. None of their deaths hurt as much as seeing the look in her eyes when she heard she lost the baby. There is nothing I can do to make that better.”

The words only seemed to make him madder. “You want Summer? You have to be there in the good and the bad. Especially the bad. If you can’t handle it, stay the fuck away from her.”

Scorp glared, waiting for me to strike back.

There was nothing left in me, though. Nothing left but letting myself feel the pain from the hits I’d taken. It was better that than feeling the fucking rest of the mess left in me.

Seeming to understand, Scorp kissed his teeth. “Get yourself cleaned up before the boys fucking see your sorry ass. I’ll be at home with Summer. Don’t show your fucking face there again.”

***

I learned a long time ago, there ain’t no point in crying over things that are out of your control. Sometimes, how shit ends up is out of our hands.

There was no question in my mind, though, that the blame was on me for Summer’s miscarriage.

I didn’t do enough when I knew Elliot was involved in the trafficking business. I shouldn’t have let Summer set up Elliot, should’ve taken care of the bastard with one shot. Instead, my brother was still out there. Still a threat.

If I’d pushed harder, taken care of things properly instead of letting my feelings get in the way, this pain could have been avoided. Summer wouldn’t have disappeared.

Wouldn’t have lost the baby.

It’d been almost a week since the miscarriage, and I couldn’t fucking face the woman. Like a pussy, I kept my distance. Summer’s own absence was reply enough to know that she blamed me, too. So, I took the hint, and stayed away.

Scorp and I avoided each other in the clubhouse, both of us too fucking strung-out with our own shit to take being in each other’s face.

Worst part was, Scorp was right. I’d let Summer down. Not only that, but I’d let the club down. I’d let them handle the patch-over so I could take care of Summer. The whole thing was a goddamned shit show.

I threw myself into club business to keep my mind busy. Another business opportunity for the club stepped forward, and I wasn’t about to turn down an offer.

The Red Crow MC was an insidious crew of brothers that had stepped into the territory and taken over part of the Viper’s old drug trade when the snakes traded black market drugs for innocent women.

Their local charter said they were interested in patching over.

They wanted to work together. Join forces in business.

Considering the rumors I’d heard about the Red Crow’s Mother Charter President, Warlock, I wasn’t sure what to make of the offer.

The Lords of Chaos needed money and reputation if we were gonna make it.

My family’s name would only get us so far.

If the Red Crow’s word could be trusted, their specialty in meth production could bring the edge we were looking for financially. Making those kinds of drugs ourselves was dangerous in more ways than one. It was better to act as the in-between. In exchange for staying on our territory, the Red Crows could keep cooking, and we would sell their product to the distributors.

Easy As.

After briefing the boys and dismissing the men to prep for the ride over to the Red Crows, I looked to the empty chair on my left.

Scorp had missed the meeting.

As if on cue, he appeared in the doorway of the near-empty meeting room.

I raised an eyebrow, leaning back in my chair.

“Sorry I’m late.” Scorp nodded his head at me, looking fucking stressed. Members excused themselves around him, leaving him and me alone. Most brothers would think he would get a grilling for being late.

I had half a mind to fulfill those expectations.

I picked up a pack of cigarettes off the table and lit one up, took a long drag. “Where the hell were you?”

“Had to take Summer to a follow-up appointment.”

I nodded. “Don’t let it happen again. We leave in an hour.”

He had the balls to fucking hesitate.

“You trying to get out of the patch-over too?” I growled.

The fight we’d been avoiding since the hallway brawl sparked fresh.

Scorp’s tired, angry eyes bore into mine. “If I remember correctly, you’re the one that has a history of not showing up.”

“You better watch your words, brother.”

Scorp’s mouth drew into a thin line. “Don’t worry, brother. I’m coming.”

“Good.” I butted out my cigarette, stomach tight like I was fourteen all over again and fucking a club girl for the first time. “Because I want to stay.”

Scorp’s face fell. “You’re not good enough for her.”

“I’m the first person to agree with you there. I figure the least I can do is say goodbye.”

Summer

As I lay on the couch, staring up at the ceiling, one thought kept running through my mind: How the fuck did I let things get so bad?

How the hell did I lose a life, all just so one man—one man—faced charges? I knew there had been many lives on the line with what Elliot was doing. What was one, in exchange for so many?

Still, all I could think was that their freedom had cost me my child.

The doorbell rang, and I didn’t move to answer it.

Considering I was at Scorp’s, and no one knew I was here, it wouldn’t be for me. Plus, there was no one left to look for me. Elliot was behind bars, my old life had disappeared along with him, and Colt… Well, I hadn’t been able to bear the thought of facing Colt since I arrived home.

Again, the bell rang. With a sigh, I slowly got up.

When I opened the door, I came face-to-face with the one man who was haunting my dreams.

“Scorp’s not home,” I blurted out, and dropped my eyes. I could feel tears threatening to spill over.

“I know. Not here to see Scorp, kitten.”

It wasn’t Colt’s words that got me to look up; it was his tone. As I stared into his eyes, my tears spilled over.

My counselor had said that in order for me to move forward, I had to acknowledge the wrongs in my life—and I knew I had done wrong by Colt. I also knew I wasn’t ready to face him yet.

“Colt, please…” I swallowed sharply and gripped the door frame. “Leave.” If he didn’t, I would have a complete meltdown. He’d unlock the pain and the guilt that I’d kept swallowed down since I’d lost the child.

“Kitten, come here.”

I put a hand up. “Don’t,” I staggered out. “I can’t do this.”

“Summer—”

“I tried so hard,” I cut him off, as everything bubbled to the surface. “I tried so hard to keep him safe. Our son, our child, I let him down. I…” I took a ragged breath in. “Fuck. I don’t know how… I’m so ashamed for what I did. The decisions I made.”

Colt looked stunned, completely and honestly shocked.

He didn’t say a word.

He didn’t yell.

He didn’t tell me how worthless I was.

Nothing.

He just stood there.

I nodded, my hand moving to shut the door. “Bye, Colt.”

Before I could close the door, Colt closed the distance between us, and then his lips were on mine. I tasted salt, and I thought it was from my tears, ’til he pulled back and I saw his eyes red.

“Shh, kitten. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry. I should have been here. I was in shock… I… Fuck, Summer. Seeing you, lying there, it fucking broke my heart, and I didn’t think I had a heart to be broken in the first place.”

It was my turn to cut him off. As I pressed my lips to Colt’s in a delicate kiss, I could feel the guilt I had been carrying with me lifting. Colt cupped my cheek and returned the kiss gently, as if I were made of glass.

His hands slowly left my cheeks, ran down my sides, and then he slowly backed me into the house.

I pulled back. “Where is Scorp?”

Colt’s lips twitched up. “Let’s just say, he won’t be in town for a bit.”

A small smile graced my lips. “You telling me you sent my brother away?”

He tucked my hair behind my ear. “I’d do a shitload more than that if it meant time with you.” He frowned while his hands paused on my hips. “Have you been eating?”

Should I lie?

Colt arched his eyebrows, as if daring me to argue.

I reached up, my fingers tracing his stubbled jaw. “Will you stay?”

“Of course, kitten. I’m here now. I promise.”