The Firefighter

BEN

The morning of Christmas Eve, Kensie and I prepared to pick up Leila around noon.

I was a little doubtful if she was strong enough, but I didn’t really know how to make her stay in the hospital either. She seemed to be the stubborn type. But how could I really know? I didn’t know her.

“Ben? How come you don’t have a Christmas tree?” Kensie’s eyes searched mine with a serious expression on her face, and a tiny smile crept across my face before I managed to hide it.

She didn’t know I had everything prepared in the guest room, waiting for me to decorate the house.

That was all a surprise for her and Leila, and I couldn’t wait to see their faces when they woke up on Christmas morning tomorrow.

“That’s because I don’t normally celebrate Christmas.”

She gasped in disbelief at my answer. “Really? But who gets the presents when Santa comes, then? And doesn’t he get mad if he doesn’t get his milk and cookies?”

I chuckled a little. Kids sure have a lot of questions.

“I… I think he just skips to the next house when he…um… What do you like for lunch? A sandwich? A yogurt?” I asked, wanting to distract her.

“No.” She shook her head. “Cookies. Since Santa doesn’t get them, I want them.”

I chuckled again. “I guess you’re right. But, cookies for lunch? I don’t think…”

“Please, please, please? I promise not to throw popcorn at you anymore.”

I picked her up and tickled her until she screamed with laughter, and I laughed giddily with her. And together, we stumbled into the kitchen.

I lifted her up in the air like she was flying, and she squealed even louder. “Cookies for Super Princess it is!”

Then I put her down and reached for the jar. “But don’t tell your mom. Okay? She’ll get mad at me for feeding you all the wrong foods.”

“Cookies aren’t wrong, silly. Just ask Santa.”

I chewed on a cookie and smiled. She’s such a sweet girl.

“I’ll ask him if I meet him.”

***

“Are you really sure you should…?”

“Yes, I’m fine, Ben. Don’t worry about me. I don’t need to be here anymore. I’ll just go back here to continue taking tests, that’s all. I’ll be fine. And now you don’t have to babysit Kensie anymore.”

She sounded kind of rejecting, which I found a bit hurtful. I knew she had a lot on her mind right now and probably had a lot of emotions to sort out after losing their home, but I could at least have earned a smile?

“But I honestly don’t mind, and you still need to relax and…”

“It’s okay! Don’t worry. We’ll be staying at The Branch.”

“What? That old motel?! You can’t stay there. It’s not even safe!”

She couldn’t be serious. Just one look at Kensie made my skin crawl with concern about what could happen to them.

Just a few weeks ago, someone was shot there, and I knew there was drug dealing and prostitutes either inside or in the neighborhood. I couldn’t let them stay there.

Why would she pick such a place anyway? And what would I do with their gifts?

“As I said, we’ll be fine.”

Oh, she was definitely the stubborn kind! “Leila… Please. Stay at least one night.”

“What? Here? No way!”

“If not here, then at my place. For Kensie’s sake?”

At the mention of her name, Kensie walked up to her mother, grabbed her hand, and looked at her. “Mommy? Why are you mad at Ben?”

“Oh, sweetie. I’m not mad at him. Far from it, actually. It’s just that he’s done enough already—”

“But I wanna stay with him. Please, Mommy. You’ll like it there. He’s got cookies in a—”

Then she slammed both her hands over her mouth, remembering that she wasn’t supposed to tell, and just to be a little mean, I squinted at her with pursed lips.

But I didn’t manage to stay serious for long because a giggle bubbled up inside me and forced itself out through my lips. And finally, I got a smile from Leila too.

“Really? He’s got cookies? I guess…”

She sighed heavily and looked at me for permission as if I hadn’t stated that clearly enough.

“Good,” I said. “Just for tonight. Or longer, if you want to.”

“Just for tonight,” Leila said.

***

When I unlocked the door to my apartment, we were met by a barking Molly that jumped around us and sniffed our legs. Leila bent down to pick her up but ended up coughing so hard she had to let her go.

She had done that several times on our way home too, and I was really concerned about her.

I was starting to believe she’d gone against the doctor’s orders and discharged herself against medical advice, although I didn’t know for sure.

And I didn’t dare to ask. I didn’t want to be nosy.

“Kensie? Can you help your mother to bed? She needs to rest.”

She nodded eagerly, clearly happy to have her mother back and to show her around. But I could see the tired expression on Leila’s face and how she struggled to breathe.

She really needed to lie down.

“I’ll make some food. I’m sorry I don’t have a proper Christmas dinner ready. We’ll have that tomorrow. But does lasagna sound good to you?”

“Yeah!” cheered Kensie, but Leila just seemed tired.

“Ben, you really don’t have to do—”

“Of course I do. You need food. Kensie needs food. And I’m gonna make dinner for myself anyway.”

She didn’t object anymore and followed Kensie into the bedroom. And I went to the kitchen to do as I had said.

***

A while later, I carried a tray with a plate of lasagna, a glass of soda, and some salad on the side.

Leila was asleep, and Kensie sat on the bed drawing with some crayons I’d found in a drawer, with Molly resting next to them.

And I was about to return to the kitchen when Kensie shook her mother awake. I sighed. She should have let her rest. The food could wait.

But now she was already awake, propping herself up on her elbows, and I gave them a half-smile and felt my cheeks heat up. She looked adorable. Groggy, but still adorable.

“Um…dinner?” I asked, and she looked at me and smiled a little.

“Yeah. Thank you. But I can come down. I’m okay.” She started coughing again and quickly put a paper towel over her mouth.

“No. You stay here, and Kensie and I will eat in the kitchen. She’ll come back upstairs when she’s done.”

She nodded.

“Why can’t you come upstairs too, Ben?” Kensie blurted out, and I blushed even harder than before.

“No. Your mom needs peace and quiet, so it’s very important that you—”

“It’s okay.” Leila interrupted me.

She looked at me, and I found it appropriate to leave. But then I heard her voice.

“Do you… Do you think I can take a shower afterward? And maybe borrow a T-shirt?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. I’ll get it for you. I’ll put it on the sink with towels and… Feel free to use whatever you need. An extra toothbrush is in the drawer.”

She nodded again and looked both embarrassed and sad simultaneously. And I wanted so desperately to take her pain away.

She gave me a tired smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. She looked so beautiful without soot on her face. Wait. Was I…? No. I wasn’t. Not that quickly. No. Just no.

“Thank you, Ben. Again.”