Scarred Luna

KARA

“I don’t understand. Why the hell hasn’t she shifted? She was in danger; her wolf should have come out to protect her.”

It’s been a week since my training accident, and this is the first time Zane has come into my room. I am keeping my eyes closed as they speak over me in hushed whispers.

“I don’t know what it is, Zane. I’ve never seen anything like this.”

Zane moves his hand away from my face. “Well, she needs to shift soon. Questions are being asked. Questions that I don’t have the answers to.”

“You’re the fucking alpha. The pack can question all they like. You don’t need to give them answers.”

“You don’t need to remind me what the fuck I can and can’t do, but if she doesn’t shift, she doesn’t belong to a pack.”

“So, what are you going to do? Send her back?”

It is crystal clear that Zane has no intention of sending me back. He’ll just throw me out for me to fend for myself, and because I can’t shift, no other pack will take me, not even mine.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Marcus sounds enraged.

“I don’t have a choice.”

“You can’t just kick her out, Zane, she’s your luna! The pack won’t be happy about this.”

“The fuck she’s my luna! There’s been no ceremony, and the pack doesn’t even know she’s my mate. I mean, she can’t have any mates because she’s not a werewolf.”

“Zane, this is me you’re talking to. I’m not an idiot. I see the way you look at her and have me take care of her twenty-four-seven.”

“One, she’s new to this pack; I can’t let her run around by herself. Someone needs to watch her. And two, she’ll be gone before the rumors reach us, and by then, I’ll be able to explain them away.”

I can’t believe he’s considering this.

“Cut the bullshit. You’ve got feelings for her, and you distancing yourself isn’t going to make it any less painful if you get rid of her.”

Does he have feelings for me? The man has barely said two words to me ever since I came here!

“Fine, say she is my mate, but say she finally shifts, what kind of luna would she be to this pack and the whole freakin’ country? She’s seventeen! Do you really want history repeating itself?”

“So, are you rejecting her because you consider her to be weak or because you don’t want to end up like your father?”

My heart races as the pacing in the room stops, and Zane’s voice becomes barely a whisper.

“You’re treading a very fine line, Beta.”

“If I didn’t, then I wouldn’t be much of a beta.”

“Make the arrangements to send her back. If she doesn’t shift before her birthday, I’ll have no choice but to force her out.”

“And if they won’t take her?” Marcus’s question goes unanswered. “So, you’re just going to exile her and take Alison as your luna?”

Who the fuck is this Alison? They mentioned her before.

“Everyone in this pack already considers her their luna, so she might as well take the title.”

The frustration in Marcus’s sigh is evident.

“I don’t have a choice. I am the high alpha, and as such, I can only have the strongest around me. Kara has proven she will never make a strong luna.”

With sadness in his voice, Marcus whispers, “Are you afraid that she’s weak or that she’ll make you weak, just like how you believe your mother made your father weak?”

A loud crash jolts me upright. With my eyes wide with horror, I see Zane ruthlessly attacking Marcus, delivering blow after blow as his beta endures the onslaught.

“Please. Stop!” I shout.

The second the words leave my mouth, Zane halts his fist in the air. His breathing is heavy, and he keeps his eyes locked on Marcus.

In a flash, he bolts out of the house. Not a moment later, I hear a piercing howl.

***

Tonight is a full moon, and there is something so captivating about it, I feel drawn toward it. Slipping out of bed, wincing at the pain in my ribs, I stumble to the balcony doors.

Outside, the breeze is cool, and the silver light on my face makes me think of my mother.

“Sweetheart, do you know why the moon is so important for our people?”

“Is it because the Moon Goddess lives there?”

She chuckled. “Well, yes, but it’s more than that.”

“What is it, Mommy?”

“The moon gives us strength, and so, every full moon, we all shift and join together to thank the Moon Goddess for the gifts she has bestowed upon us.”

“Will I be able to do that, Mommy? Will I have a wolf?”

Her arms tightened around her, her nose in my hair. “Oh, baby, you’ll have so much more than that. You’re a very special girl, Kara. Always remember that.”

I open my eyes to see the moon shining down on me. “You were wrong, Mama, I’m not special.”

“Your mother wasn’t wrong.”

Startled by the deep voice, I quickly turn around to find Zane standing there.

My heart races as I instinctively back away, gripping the balcony rail for support. “What are you doing here?”

He raises a white eyebrow. “This is my house.”

I look down at my bare feet. “I mean, what are you doing in my room?”

He crosses his arms over his chest. “Once again, my house.”

I stop myself from challenging him. “Can I help you with something, Alpha?”

“Zane.”

“Excuse me?”

He comes to stand next to me and looks up at the moon. “Call me Zane when we are alone. And I’m sorry about earlier.”

“I don’t think it’s me you should be apologizing to.”

“Well, I’ve already spoken to Marcus. He thought I should come here and apologize to you too.”

I laugh. “But you’re not sorry, are you? I’m not what you hoped for in a mate, and frankly, you don’t really care about how I feel.”

“That’s your problem,” he says. “All you see is how you feel and what’s happened to you.

“You don’t see the bigger picture. You don’t see that my pack and the safety of all packs are more important than some silly girl’s feelings.”

My throat is closing up, and my eyes are burning with tears. “You see a silly girl, but not what this girl has been through and what she has to live with.

“What you don’t see is the pain and shame I feel that I can’t be as strong as my parents wanted me to be.

“I have alpha and beta blood running through my veins and, yet, I can’t do something as natural as shift.

“So no, it’s not about my ‘silly feelings.’ My feelings have never mattered, I know that. I learned that at a very early age.”

Tears are running down my face. “What matters to me is being able to protect my pack and the people I love. If I could, then perhaps I would have been able to save my family.”

With a heavy heart and a cloud of sadness hanging over me, I slowly distance myself from him as I feel the poignancy of the moment.

I will never truly be embraced by anyone, not even by my mate. I must come to terms with this.