Life is Not a Game

CHARLOTTE

From our past conversations, I would have agreed that he was no saint. He was just as much of a player as Nep, but he didn’t kiss and tell as much—at least not in a bragging manner like Nep. Actually, all three of the guys were pretty big players, but at least Jup and Plut could wait until we weren’t actively in a match.

Jup knew that I liked guys, although I guessed he thought that made me gay since he believed I was a guy. Either way, he didn’t judge me and was still my bestie. I was glad to have such an open-minded friend.

I wished I could shower quickly, but I had super-long, curly brown hair. It took me forever to wash and condition it, and if I skipped that, it would be a tangled, frizzy mess.

I quickly rushed upstairs to shower, then brushed my hair out before putting it up in a messy bun. It wouldn’t do anything for my curls, but then again, nothing did. After that, I threw on some short sleep shorts and a gamer T-shirt that I was given by our sponsor. It was super big and extra soft; I loved it.

“Hey, guys, I’m back,” I told them as I logged on to the game.

“Thank goodness. We tried to get some random to be our fourth player for some unranked matches. It was awful,” Pluto said.

“Yeah, Jup tried to be our strategist—epic fail,” Nep added.

“Dude, my strategizing was fine. The real problem was you were too focused on the chick in your room,” Jup shot back.

“She was a hot one, and man, did she feel good on my—” Nep started.

“Okay, okay, we get the point,” I quickly interrupted. I did not need to hear that. “I will never understand how you keep getting girls. You are such a player.”

“What can I say? Ladies like my big d—” Nep began.

“We got it!” I cut him off again. “Believe it or not, we don’t want to hear about you and what you think is big.”

“Yeah, man. Put your Vienna sausage away so we can get back to playing,” Jup added, making Plut and me crack up over the chat.

“Ha, don’t hate ’cause you aren’t as big as me. Not everyone can be blessed like I am,” Nep replied.

“I have to agree, and it does get awkward when chicks keep confusing it for a third leg,” Plut said.

“So, any luck on getting us a match?” I asked Jup, trying to change the subject. I didn’t really want to take part in a conversation where guys were comparing their junk. Frankly, I knew way too much about these three and their bodies. Guys really liked to overshare.

“We should be joining one soon, so everyone get ready,” Jup replied.

“Man, you always sidestep our best conversations,” Nep complained, but I ignored him.

We easily won the next few matches. It seemed that none of the good teams were on right now, so we were playing against novices. It wasn’t the best practice, but still fun.

I honestly enjoyed talking with the guys as much as I enjoyed the game, even though they often brought up uncomfortable topics. I spent a great deal of time moving the conversation back to normal subjects that didn’t involve body parts or things you do with them.

“Hey, guys, it’s eleven, and some of us care about our grades. I gotta get some sleep or calc is gonna kick my butt in the morning,” I told them, realizing how late it was.

“Yeah, I should get to bed too. Coach is gonna have my butt if I don’t bring up my grade in physics,” Jup added.

“I guess if you losers are leaving, I’ll get back to Stacy,” Nep said.

“It’s Sarah,” we heard someone yell down Nep’s mic.

“She’s still there?” Plut asked.

“And you don’t know her name?!” I said, shocked.

“Seriously, what is wrong with you?” Jup added.

“What can I say, chicks love me,” Nep said before signing off.

“Wow,” I commented. “Okay, I’m out too. Night, guys.”

I was glad I had already showered and was in my pjs as I crawled into bed and instantly fell asleep.

***

The next morning, I was woken by the blaring of my alarm clock, so I sleepily reached over to turn it off. I dragged myself out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I then went to my closet and grabbed some sweatpants and a loose T-shirt.

I preferred to wear loose clothing since I wasn’t comfortable with my body. Honestly, were any females comfortable with their bodies? Well, I guessed maybe those awful cheerleaders who teased everyone might have been, but that wasn’t me.

Since I had left my hair in a bun last night, I had no hopes for it today. I took it down and put it up again, so at least it didn’t look as if I’d slept in it. Standing in front of the mirror, I just stared at myself. Yup, this is as good as I’m going to get.

I made my way out to my older-model silver Toyota Camry. Mom and Dad would have bought me any car I wanted, but I really didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I found this one online for sale cheap and begged them for it. They were pretty hesitant but ended up giving in to me.

I pulled into the school parking lot and parked in my assigned space before getting out and heading inside. Most of the students hung out in the commons area before class started, but I was incapable of talking to others, so I just kept my head down and went to my locker to get my books before going to my first class.

“She’s so weird. Why does she never talk to anyone?” I heard one of the popular girls snidely remark as I walked by.

“Because no one wants to be friends with such a freak,” the other replied.

I really didn’t know why they continued to mock me or why they kept trying to get a response. I’d been going to the same school as them for years and had never talked to anyone. It was all right, though. I was pretty good at ignoring them. Their comments had stopped bothering me years ago, although I did wish they’d let me be invisible.

I finally got to my class, away from the girls who wouldn’t leave me alone. Since I was in all of the top-ranked classes, I didn’t have to deal with them. The other smart kids at the school left me alone. I guessed they were a little socially awkward too, just not to my level.

As soon as I sat down, I felt my phone go off.

Talking to Jupiter always left a smile on my face. I was so glad to have him in my life.

The morning passed by in its usual rhythm. My teachers were aware of my struggle with social interaction, and they’d come to understand that I grasped the material and had the answers. I was grateful they didn’t put me on the spot to answer questions in front of the class.

In the beginning of the school year, a few teachers had tried, but they’d quickly realized that my nerves got the best of me when I was expected to speak with all eyes on me. It had gotten so bad before that I’d even passed out, making me even more of a freak at school.

According to my dad, I had severe social anxiety disorder, which caused my extreme shyness and anxiety attacks when I was around new people or situations.

When lunchtime rolled around, I made my way to the cafeteria. I stood in line, waiting to grab a slice of pizza and a bottle of water. I offered a smile to the lunch lady as I paid for my meal and was about to head outside when I was intercepted by the same girls from earlier.

“You know, it’s incredibly rude not to say thank you,” the head cheerleader said, her tone dripping with condescension.

“I guess some people were just never taught manners,” the popular girl chimed in, and they both snickered. I didn’t have classes with them, so I didn’t even know their names.

I brushed them off, like always, and quickly walked toward the doors at the back of the school, hoping to avoid any further attention from the other students. I always ate my lunch outside, under one of the big oak trees. It was my peaceful haven where no one bothered me.

Taking a big bite of my pizza, I texted Jup.

Since I didn’t have my own social life, I lived vicariously through Jup’s. Currently, he was pursuing a girl at school.

I finished my lunch in silence while tackling my chemistry homework, so I wouldn’t have to deal with it at home. That would free up more time to game with the guys, which was always my endgame. I found it easy to communicate with them. Somehow, they made me feel like a normal person. I guessed I just needed a computer to shield me from the world so I could function like everyone else.

The rest of the day passed without any more encounters with those girls, but I was left with a significant amount of homework. I supposed it was a good thing Jup had practice tonight. It would give me time to finish my work.

***

Pulling into my driveway, I noticed both of my parents’ cars were home. This was unusual—they were never home—so seeing both of them here simultaneously set off alarm bells in my head.

I wondered if someone had died or something—but who? We didn’t really have any family or close friends, so it couldn’t be a death. The only way to find out was to go inside.

“Charlotte, can you come in here, please?” My dad’s voice echoed from the living room as I walked in.

“Hi, Dad. Hi, Mom. What’s up?” I asked, settling on the couch across from them.

“We have some big news, sweetie,” Mom started, her voice wavering slightly.

“I’ve been offered the position of chief surgeon at the most prestigious hospital in the country,” Dad announced.

“Oh? That’s super exciting, Dad. I’m so happy for you! But why do you two look so worried?” I asked.

“Well, it would require us moving cross-country. It isn’t a big deal for me, since I own my firm and we take cases from all across the nation anyway, but it means uprooting you during your senior year,” Mom explained.

“It isn’t like I have any friends you would be taking me from. As long as our new place has good internet so I can continue competing with the guys, I’m happy anywhere,” I assured her.

“Are you completely sure you’re okay with this, dear?” Dad asked.

“Of course. When do we move?”

“Well, your mom and I actually fly out tomorrow to close on a house, so we were thinking this weekend, if that isn’t too soon,” Dad said, looking a bit sheepish.

“You already bought a house? What if I was against the idea?” I asked.

“We knew you wouldn’t be, but if you were, we would have just kept it as an investment or sold it,” Mom reassured me.