Rejected, Replaced, & Forgotten

Livy

“Faster, Liv! Pick up the pace!” Tate yelled.

I pushed my wolf to move faster, expanding my stride as I dodged the trees.

I had been under training the last two months to try to get my wolf in shape. I was thriving underneath Tate’s instruction and the pack’s encouragement.

“Come on, Liv! Push yourself!” Kevin yelled and whistled.

I dug my paws into the ground and launched myself over the finish line, rolling cleanly into a standing position. I heard howls and whoops and grinned, wagging my tail excitedly.

Tate trotted over to me and clapped me between the shoulders. “Broke your record. You’re now only a second behind Jess. Congrats, Liv.”

I howled and ran over to Jess happily. She laughed and waved me away, as impressed as I was triumphant.

My new pack only had five members: Tate, Jess, Kevin, Luke, and myself. As far as we knew, we were the only White Wolves in North America.

“You’re going to beat me one day, Liv,” Jess joked. She had become like an older sister to me.

The first few weeks after I had joined, we avoided each other like the plague. She didn’t like the idea of another woman joining the group, unsure how it would change the pack’s dynamics.

“Nah, the title is yours.” More banter led to a race back to the pack house. Jess was first with me claiming the silver medal position.

We laughed and shifted, grabbing clothes from the shed outside.

The pack house was small and cozy, nothing like the colossal, sprawling mansion I had grown up in when I had lived in Oregon.

“Hey, Liv, can I have a word?” Tate asked, sounding nervous. He rubbed the back of his neck, pushing his blonde hair into a complete mess.

I nodded curtly and moved to follow him to his makeshift office.

Tate was the alpha of the Pura Lupus pack. And although we were tiny, we were considered the most powerful pack in North America.

As it was explained to me, White Wolves were akin to the police force of werewolves. We were the ones to set rogues in line, take on misbehaving packs, and helping to keep the overall peace.

Being a Pura Lupus meant that we were gifted, and with that, naturally, came a responsibility.

“Yes, Tate?”

I hadn’t spoken to Tate much besides some small talk. I had thrown myself completely into training and he always seemed to be busy.

Underneath our excuses to avoid each other was the total awkwardness of the bond we shared after he saved me. It was intense and that made it hard for me to behave normally around him.

“I just wanted to say that you’ve been doing really great with your training. You’re going to be a great asset one day, Liv. Is there anything you’ve been wondering about?”

I resisted the urge to drop my eyes and shake my head. This was an opportunity for me to ask the questions I had kept behind my lips since I joined. Questions I hadn’t dared to ask.

I nodded slowly as I composed my thoughts. “The day you found me… Kevin said that you and I would be bonded to one another, and then he mentioned someone named Sydney.

“What was he talking about?”

Tate stiffened. “I-I—”

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” I said quickly, regret washing over me. I could read the panic in his eyes.

Tate smiled half-heartedly, dispelling some of the tension he was experiencing. “No, you deserve to know. I’ve been avoiding the subject for two months.

“When a she-wolf meets their mate, they awaken your wolf. Your mate is supposed to act as a guide to help you through your first crucial shift.

“Without me, you could have died, Olivia. It’s not an uncommon outcome.”

I swallowed, my voice not my own as I asked the next question. “Does this mean we’re mates now?”

Tate shook his head, his eyes somewhat guarded. “No, it doesn’t. Sometimes, I wish it did though. I had a mate. Her name was Sydney, but she left me for someone else.

“It would be better if we were mates, Liv. We could be happy. But destiny can’t be changed.”

I frowned. “But what does it mean with us being bonded now?”

Tate rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s hard to explain. You see, our wolves recognize each other on a higher level than pack mates now. No matter what we do now, Liv, our fates are intertwined.”

I looked down and thought for a second. “Does this mean we could mate?”

My cheeks were warm with color as I waited for him to respond, watching shock pass through his green eyes as he struggled to compose himself.

Tate’s face flushed red as my own. “Well, we could, yes. But I mean, we don’t have to, it’s not like… Yeah.”

I laughed, trying to hide the squirming feeling in my stomach. “It was just a question, but it’s good to know it’s an option.”

Tate grinned at me with rosy cheeks. “Well, I think you would make a great mate, Liv. You’re thoughtful and smart and… I don’t understand why your mate denied you.”

I felt as though I had been kicked in the stomach, just as I did every time Cole was mentioned. I hadn’t told Tate the full story yet. I hadn’t told anyone really.

The blow to my stomach closed my throat and prompted my wolf into a low whining growl.

I shrugged, knowing he would see right through any nonchalant gimmick. “He has someone else.”

Tate kept his features passive but his eyes were sharp as they looked me over. “I know you don’t like to talk about it, but did you know the she-wolf he was with?”

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. “Yeah, he’s with my cousin.”

Tate growled lowly. “Bastard! How could he do that to his own mate?”

I sighed, trying to ignore both the dread and rush I felt after that statement. “He was never interested in me. He pretended we weren’t mates and embarrassed me in front of everyone.

“He was perfectly content being alpha so long as he had a sexy she-wolf hanging off his arm that came with no commitment.”

Tate’s growls turned to snarls. “He’s an alpha and he denied you? What is wrong with him?”

I shrugged, feeling my wolf start to sink back into her depression.

She often howled about the loss of our mate. She cared for Tate, but not in the all-consuming way she did for Cole.

I scolded her for it. Punished her by bringing up the memories of the rejection.

“Sometimes, I wonder what’s wrong with me, I must be defective seeing as he was able to turn me down so easily.”

I held my breath after I spoke. I had never dared voice my insecurities to anyone before, never knew that I could.

“There is nothing wrong with you, Livy!” Tate said sternly. “You are absolutely amazing and I’ve only known you for two months. Binding myself to you was the best thing I ever did.”

I gave him a small smile. “What does it feel like for you to be bonded to me? My wolf is always happy when you’re near. I want to know what it’s like for you.”

It was true, my wolf was happy when she was with Tate. She felt the connection between us; felt protected and valued by him.

Tate smiled and looked down at the floor.

“It’s the same with my wolf, but sometimes, when you’re feeling something strongly, I get a small taste of it. Nothing too extensive, but a small flare of whatever emotion you are experiencing.”

My thoughts scrambled back over the last few weeks as I tried to recall the moments he was describing. “What do you feel?”

Tate grinned. “Sometimes, when you’re frustrated with yourself during training, I can sense it, or when you’re really happy.” Tate’s face dropped.

“But most often I can feel your sorrow. You’re sad more than you should be.”

I looked down, feeling weak and embarrassed. I didn’t want to drag my past into this promising new future with the Pura Lupus pack. “I know I shouldn’t care about him, but I—I just—”

“I get it. I know what you’re going through, Liv.” Tate smiled empathetically. “I feel the same about Sydney and she left me two years ago.

“It never gets easier and the pain never lessens. It’s hard to feel whole again but we can try.”

“Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I were with him. Would we have made each other happy? Would I be marked? Would we be in love?”

I hated voicing these thoughts; hated wondering about a future that would never come to be.

Mostly, I hated how my mind festered over these images. How I couldn’t stray from these thoughts for long.

Tate shook his head. “You will never know the answers to those questions, Livy. All you can do is live the life you have now, not dwell on one that will never happen.”

I bit my lip. “Why did Sydney leave you?” I guarded myself for the answer.

Tate frowned. “She was in love with someone else.

“But she was willing to try it out with me. I had just found out that I was a Pura Lupus and that I was to be the next alpha of the White Wolves. So, naturally, I was cocky and selfish.

“I screwed up and lost her forever. I tried to go and get her after I sobered up, but she wanted nothing to do with me. She was already fully mated.”

I frowned, feeling absolute sorrow for Tate. Cole and I didn’t know anything about each other, but if I ever found out that he and Leah mated… It would be a pain to split me in two.

“I’m sorry,” I said lamely, unsure how to console him.

Tate plastered a fake smile onto his face, content to roll off of the subject. “It’s all right, Liv. I mean, I was the one who messed everything up in the first place.”

I shrugged. “It still sucks to lose your mate.”

Tate laughed dryly. “You’re right about that one.”

“Do you think my mate misses me? Or wishes we were together?” I wished I could redact that statement as soon as I said it. I wished I was strong enough not to wonder those thoughts.

Tate was silent for a moment before answering. “I think if he’s smart, he’s out there looking for you right now.”

I smiled. “Thank you, Tate.”

Tate’s green eyes suddenly grew serious as he took my hand in his. I looked at him in surprise as my stomach flipped.

“I can take care of you, Livy. I can keep you safe and love you. We may not be mates, but we are bonded and mateless anyway.

“If you want it, all you’d have to do is say the word, Liv, and I will be yours. I promise not to reject you either.”

I laughed and stared at Tate, seriously considering his offer. He was handsome with blonde locks and stunning green eyes, not to mention a very nicely developed body.

But Tate was so much more than that. He was gentle and caring, thoughtful and sensitive. He was a natural leader and wise. He was everything I should want.

But my wolf was focused on Cole.

Then I remembered the look of disgust on Cole’s face as he took me in. The cruelty of his actions as he tossed my hat carelessly into the water.

I remembered the complete and utter torture he put me through as he wrapped his arms around my cousin.

He knew what he was doing to me, and he didn’t care. He had wanted to destroy our relationship to the point of no recovery.

I squeezed Tate’s hand and smiled, my heart thumping hard against my ribs. “I’ll give him a year. If he doesn’t attempt to find me or contact me by then, I’m yours.”

Tate grinned and kissed my cheek before I could stop him; the kiss sent a wave of warmth through my body.

“I’ll wait, Liv. Until then, we’ve got work to do.”

Tate pulled me to my feet, and we walked out to the living room where Luke, Kevin, and Jess were watching television.

They turned toward us and made room for us to sit. Jess reached over Kevin and plucked the remote from Luke’s hand so she could turn the power off. The three of them turned their attention to Tate.

“What’s up, Tate?” asked Kevin jokingly; he was always trying to lighten the mood. I had noticed that as soon as we left Tate’s office, he resumed his alpha stance.

“We got a call from a pack in South Dakota. A couple of hunters found them and are causing some trouble. By the sounds of it, they are having trouble containing the humans, so it’s our job to help.”

Luke looked stern. “What makes these hunters such a threat? There are tons of hunters across North America. Usually, they just kill them and are done with it.”

Jess nodded. “Why haven’t they dealt with the hunters themselves?”

Tate sighed. “Apparently, these hunters aren’t using silver like most. There has been a report of wolfsbane.

“They are calling themselves the Sun Warriors since they believe we worship the moon. They’re growing in numbers and are adamant about ridding the world of werewolves.

“The last thing we need is for them to go spreading the word and then somehow finding out about celestial silver, which would be a big problem for us.”

I frowned. “So, they are using wolfsbane? How are they doing that? I thought it needed to be injected or ingested to hurt us?”

Luke nodded in agreement. “Are they poisoning water supplies?”

Fear spiked through me at the suggestion. It would be easy to tamper with a town’s water supply, only the werewolves would grow ill, which made targeting easy.

Tate shook his head. “They’re using special arrows filled with the stuff. They can shoot them from afar, which is why the pack is having problems.

Jess asked. “Do these arrows contain lethal doses?”

Tate shook his head. “We don’t believe so, but they think that they are keeping werewolves as test subjects. That would explain how they found out about the wolfsbane.

“Apparently, one of the wolves they held captive told them to shoot vials of Turkish Mint before.”

A round of laughter ensued.

Luke cracked his knuckles and grinned. “Looks like we’re heading to South Dakota.”

Kevin nudged me with his elbow. “First trip for you, eh, Liv?”

I swallowed nervously. “Yeah, I guess.”

Jess grinned. “You’re going to do great! I can’t wait to see you in action, your timing in training is off the charts, you’re going to do great in combat.”

I looked over at Tate nervously and he just smiled and nodded, which was a good sign.

“Well, it’s set then. We’re leaving for South Dakota tonight.”

Cole

“I would like you to meet my mate.”

My aunt and uncle stood as Leah walked into the room, looking stunning. My aunt grinned and my uncle smiled proudly at me. He obviously approved.

My birth parents had died when I was young, and my aunt and uncle had provided me with love for as long as I could remember.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Leah! I’m so sorry about your cousin, what with her disappearance, it’s such a shame. Thankfully, she wasn’t mated, or the poor girl would be dead!”

I felt my smile freeze and cleared my throat, trying to catch my aunt’s eye. “Yeah, it is sad, but I’m sure that girl is fine or whatever. Anyways, Leah, here, is great at fashion.”

My uncle frowned. “I remember that girl; she was so reserved and quiet. I wonder what made her leave so suddenly? She wasn’t the type to make a commotion.”

Leah shrugged and squirmed. “Olivia was just weird, I guess.”

I clenched my hands into fists under the table. “Can we please talk about my mate?”

My aunt shook her head. “I don’t think she would just get up and leave for no reason. I mean, what wolf decides to turn rogue without provocation?”

I stood up from the table and growled.

“That’s enough! We are not here to talk about Olivia Holden! We are here to discuss the future luna of this goddamn pack who just so happens to be sitting right beside me!”

Everyone was shocked into silence. I wasn’t one to lose my temper easily. I usually kept a pretty good poker face, leaving me to appear cut off from everyone.

But since I had transitioned into the alpha role, I found my fuse to be a lot shorter than usual.

“I’m sorry, dear, you’re right. So, Leah, you’re my nephew’s mate. How did you find each other?” my aunt asked, folding her hands under her chin.

Leah frowned. “Well, uh, it took a few weeks for our wolves to recognize each other as mates.”

My uncle looked confused. “Have you been marked yet?”

Leah shook her head. “No, but I don’t think my wolf is ready. I think she wants to wait.”

My aunt’s frown deepened. “Why would she want to wait, dear, when she’s found her mate? That doesn’t make much sense.”

I growled. “Do not question her.”

My aunt and uncle stopped asking questions, but I could see the few worried looks they shared.

“Well, anyways, I’m glad you found your mate, darling. An alpha is nothing without his true luna.” My uncle tossed Leah a pleasant smile.

I nodded, fighting to contain myself as the civility began to eat away at me.

“Well, I’m going to go out for a run. I’ve got a few guys out there. I may as well relieve them for a few hours. I’ll see you guys later.” I took off and headed out of the back door.

Whenever I thought about Livy too much, it made my head ache and my stomach hurt. The only cure seemed to be fresh air, but that seemed to be working less and less.

I walked out to the forest and tried to contact my wolf, finding him shut off just as he had been ever since we learned someone else had taken our spot in Livy’s life.

I told myself that I didn’t care. I wasn’t jealous. I wasn’t upset.

But I knew I was. And sometimes, I found it hard to lie to myself.

I called on my wolf again but got nothing. I got down on my knees and tried to shift, pushing myself until a fine layer of sweat coated my skin, but was unsuccessful.

I hadn’t shifted for two months, and I feared that I had permanently lost that part of myself. It was like my wolf left with Livy.

The very idea of her with another male was enough to drive my wolf over the edge.

I tried again with no luck. I wasn’t able to shift.

What kind of alpha was I?