Dangerous Lord, Innocent Governess
Auteur·e
Christine Merrill
Lectures
18,7K
Chapitres
20
Chapter One
“Her Grace will see you now.’
Daphne Collingham followed the servant to the door of the sitting room, and took an involuntary breath as she was announced. Was it always this intimidating to seek employment? She certainly hoped she would never have reason to know.
Once her mission here was finished, she could return to her real life in London. And she would miss none of the Season: the parties, the balls and the tiresome chore of hunting up a husband who would meet with her father’s approval. But for now she must remember that she was a humble governess, whose only intent was to make a future in caring for the children of the Colton household.
She tried not to shudder at the idea.
Perhaps it was worse for her because she knew that her petition was a sham. And while it might be rather nerve racking to meet a duchess on a social occasion, it was much more so when the duchess stood as gatekeeper to a place one wanted to enter. Even more so when one was still trying to memorise an employment history that one had bought off a stranger on a northbound coach.
The Duchess rose as Daphne entered, which was entirely unnecessary, given their difference in class, and reached out to take her hand. ‘Miss Collins.’
‘Your Grace,’ she responded with what she hoped was appropriate subservience.
The Duchess sank back on to the divan, and gestured her to a nearby chair. The woman in front of her looked more like a schoolteacher than the wife of a peer. But looks could be deceiving. Daphne hoped that the Duchess believed the same, for she doubted very much that she was managing to look the part of a prospective governess. Her curtsy alone should have given her away. It would have suited in a drawing room, she suspected. But she had practised curtsying like a governess in front of a mirror at the inn, and could not seem to manage it.
The Duchess narrowed her eyes as Daphne bowed to her, as though she had recognised the deficiency. It had not been unfriendly. Merely a sign that the fact had been noted, recorded and filed appropriately. The Duchess of Bellston suspected she would prove difficult.
But now, the woman was examining her references, and smiling. ‘These seem to be in order. Although they refer to you as Daphne. I understood, from your original letter, that your Christian name was Mary.’
‘There was already a Mary in the last house, your Grace. So they called me by my middle name, Daphne. I’ve grown to prefer it.’
The Duchess nodded. ‘Daphne. Very pretty. And it suits you much better than Mary.’
She certainly hoped so.
The Duchess was reading more carefully. ‘These are most exceptional.’
‘Thank you.’ She had laboured long to erase the name of their previous owner, and insert her own. The fact that they were exceptional forgeries needn’t enter into the conversation.
‘You have been in service long?’ There was a definite upturn at the end of the sentence, as though the Duchess had her doubts. Probably the fault of that damned curtsy.
‘When one enjoys one’s work, the time passes quickly.’
‘And you do enjoy your chosen profession, and are not doing it solely from duty, or a need to make a way for yourself?’
‘I adore children.’ And there was the biggest lie of all. For while she hoped that she would manage to adore her own, she had never found the children of others to be better than a necessary evil.
‘Excellent,’ said the Duchess, eager to believe her. ‘For that is just what this family needs.’ She looked at Daphne with the same searching expression she had used upon the paperwork. ‘The residents of this house have undergone a loss, and the children’s behaviour has been somewhat…’ she paused significantly ‘… difficult.’
‘Difficult?’ Oh, dear. It had never occurred to her that the children would be part of the problem.
The Duchess smiled encouragement. ‘But it will be nothing to someone as experienced as you. It is just that they will need more than rote learning and a firm hand. They need understanding. And affection, of course.’
What they needed was justice. But Daphne nodded enthusiastically at the Duchess’s words. ‘The poor dears. One can never replace a mother, of course. But if it is possible to provide stability, and a woman’s touch?’ She gave a deprecating shrug. ‘One tries.’
The Duchess let out a visible sigh of relief. ‘I think we are in agreement. While I place a high value on education, the Coltons are bright children, and naturally inquisitive. Advanced for their years.’
Daphne nodded, as though she understood. It was strange that a woman who was little better than a neighbour should take such interest in another man’s children. Perhaps she thought it her duty, as lady of the land. Or perhaps there was some other, more ominous reason that she felt a need to insinuate herself into the household.
The Duchess continued. ‘They will find their own way. They need less help in that area than they need a sense that they are safe and cared for.’
As long as their father was present, there was little Daphne could do to ensure their safety. But she nodded again.
The Duchess rose and straightened her skirts. ‘If you will just wait here, while I speak to Lord Colton, the butler will be along shortly with some refreshment for you. When I return we will go to meet the children.’ She said it with confidence, as though the hiring was a foregone conclusion, even without the consent of the master of the house. Then she turned and left the room. Daphne could hear her on the other side of the partly closed door, speaking with a servant about tea and cakes.
She let out the breath she had been holding. The first hurdle was cleared. When she had met the real Miss Collins, while travelling to Wales for a family visit, Daphne had thought it amazing good luck. Here was a woman heading straight to the place that she had really wanted to see: the home of her beloved cousin, Clarissa. And since the true governess was heartily sick of tending the children of others, it had not been hard for a persuasive young lady to talk her out of her identity.
It had cost Daphne two of her favourite gowns, a garnet brooch and the spending money she had been given for her visit. But the total was more than a year’s salary for Miss Collins, and would give her an opportunity for a well-deserved rest. She could have her dreary life back, once Daphne was done with it, and no one would be the wiser.
Daphne got quietly up from her chair, and moved to the doorway. She stayed well in the shadow of the door, listening for the Duchess’s steps as they turned down the corridor to the left. Her slippers clicked quietly against the marble in an efficient staccato, pausing after a few seconds. There was the sound of her voice, distant and barely intelligible, requesting entrance.
It was impossible to hear the response.
Daphne eased the door open, expecting to hear a squeak of hinge. But it moved noiselessly. It hardly mattered, for when she poked her head into the hall, there was no one to hear any sound she might make. If she was quick, she could begin her investigations, and be back in the room before a servant appeared with the tea tray. No one need be the wiser. She followed the direction of the Duchess’s steps, taking care that her shoes made no noise at all as she moved, and counted off the paces she had heard the Duchess take. As she progressed, she could hear the sound of voices from an open doorway, increasing in volume as she approached.
‘And just what gives you the right, Penny, to meddle in this at all?’ It was a man’s voice, brusque and irritable.
Daphne slowed her steps to listen.
‘Do I need permission to help a friend, when I know he is in need?’ The Duchess’s voice had lost the edge of efficiency. It was warmer. Perhaps there was something more than friendship between the two. Daphne inched along the wall that held the door and glanced across the hall.
There was a large, gilt-framed mirror on the wall opposite her, meant to bring light to the dark corridor from the conservatory at the end of the hall. As she moved closer to the open door, she could see the reflection of the study where the two were speaking.
After a frigid pause, the man responded to the Duchess. ‘Yes, your Grace, you do require permission.’
‘Your Grace?’ She could see the hurt on the woman’s face, as her reflection crept into view. ‘Suddenly we are to be formal, Lord Colton?’
‘I see no reason to pretend that engaging servants to spy upon me is an act of friendship.’
‘That is not what I am doing,’ the Duchess protested. And Daphne flinched. He had guessed her own purpose without meeting her, even if he was wrong about the Duchess’s part in it. ‘I am concerned for the welfare of the children.’
‘If you were motivated by concern, you would leave them in peace. And me as well.’
She had inched forward to the point where she could see most of the room and the Duchess in profile before the desk, and the man seated in front of her. She was not sure what she expected, but it was not what she saw. Clare had described her husband as weak, anaemic, cruel. In her own mind, Daphne had seen him as a great, grey spider, pale and thin but deceptively strong, and with influence far beyond the reach of his thin grasping fingers.
But that did not fit the real Timothy Colton at all. Dark brown hair falling forward on to the healthy complexion of a man who enjoyed the sun. His shoulders did not speak of great height, but they were straight and unbent. He was quite ordinary. And if she was honest about it, rather handsome.
It seemed her adversary was nothing more than a man.
The Duchess leaned forward, on to the desk, trying to catch his gaze, which was directed sullenly downward. ‘Perhaps solitude is the best way for you to deal with your grief. But must the children suffer?’
He raised his face to hers. ‘Grief? Is that what you think my problem is?’ He gave a bleak laugh. ‘I am glad that Clarissa is gone. In time, so will the children be, if they are not already.’ There was no hesitation as he spoke, no sign that he might feel guilt over speaking so about his wife of twelve years.
Daphne felt a fresh wave of hatred for the man seated behind the desk.
The Duchess whispered, almost as though she feared that there was a listener. ‘We are quite aware of your feelings on the subject. It would be easier for all of us if you were not so plain about it.’
‘Is that what this is about, then? An attempt to make things appear more normal than they are? Your husband is the magistrate. He would have been better off had he admitted the truth, and dealt with this when he had the chance, just after she died. I would not have faulted him for it. You can hardly blame me if you find that maintaining the lie is difficult.’
So it was just as she suspected. Her cousin’s death was not the accident that everyone pretended.
The Duchess straightened, and her tone became chill. ‘It does not matter to me, Tim, if you wish to wallow in your misery. I care only for the children. It will not be as easy for them as you seem to think. A female presence will be a comfort to them, if you allow it.’
‘The only comfort they are likely to have will be gained far away from this mausoleum. Edmund is old enough for school, as is Lily.’
‘You mean to send them away, do you?’
‘I want what is best for them. And that is to be far away from the memory of their mother’s last day. And far away from me.’
‘Even Sophie?’
She saw the man stiffen in his chair. ‘I will find a place for Sophie. She is my daughter, after all. And no concern of yours. I do not need your help, your sympathy, your friendship or your misguided attempts to make right a thing that can never be repaired.’ Then he looked up out into the hall, and into the mirror. ‘And I do not need a governess.’
His eyes met hers in the mirror, and for a moment, she knew what it was to face death. They were the soulless black eyes of a murderer, and they stared into her as though he had known that she was there the whole time.
She turned and fled back to the drawing room, not caring how much noise she made.
Tim Colton leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. The Duchess gave no indication that she heard the prying governess clattering off down the hall. She seemed near to explosion. ‘You do need a governess, Tim Colton, if you mean to act like a spoiled child. Perhaps Miss Collins will be able to persuade you, since I cannot, that your behaviour is doing injury to the children you seek to protect. She will be an employee in this household, no matter what your opinion on the subject might be. If you resist me in this, I shall go to my husband, just as you ask. He will have you locked in your room until you can stand before the House of Lords and explain yourself. When you are gone, we will pack the children off to stay with their mother’s family. Does that suit you?’
‘You know it does not.’ And in his own ears, his voice sounded sullen. A spoiled child’s muttering, just as she had said. He had best gain control of himself, or the children would end up with the Collinghams. And the last thing he wished was for them to grow up to be just like their mother.
‘Then we are agreed. I shall go back to Miss Collins and arrange for her salary. You shall put on your coat, comb your hair and come to meet your new servant.’ She turned and swept from the room.
Tim sat at his desk, head cradled in his hands. Penny had made another effort to arrange his life. He supposed he was expected to be grateful for it, but felt nothing more than numb.
Perhaps she was right in it. If he was as concerned for his children as he claimed, then surely he did not wish to cause them more pain than he had already. And at this late date, an airing of the family secrets would do more harm than good.
With any luck, this latest governess would last no longer in the house than the previous one had, or the ones before that. They had all found the children ‘difficult’ and the master of the house ‘disturbing’, although he doubted that they had admitted that last fact to Penny. But on the rare occasions when they spoke to him directly, he could see that they had guessed the truth. It was in their eyes, and in the great care they took never to be alone with him.
Once Miss Collins fled, things would return to quiet and solitude. A few months would bring them to the start of the spring term. He would pack Edmund and Lily off to the best schools he could find. And for a time, he would be alone with Sophie.
He felt his heart wrench again, wondering how much lonelier it would be when he was left to parent the silent little girl, without the buffering of the two older children. Then he pushed it to the back of his mind, and rose from his desk to greet the new governess.
As he pulled on a jacket and ran a hand through his hair, he thought of the reflection of Miss Collins in the hallway mirror. He had seen her, from the corner of his eye, moving slowly into focus, trying to glean the details of a conversation she had no part in. Was she curious as to the fate of her employment? It spoke of a desperation that was absent from the previous candidates. If the job was so important to her, then it might be difficult to dislodge her from it.
Or it could be something else. Something far more sinister. Spies listened at doors. If she came to this house to learn and not to teach, then he had another problem altogether.
As he neared the sitting room, he could hear the sound of voices through the open door. Penny was arranging the particulars. He was hardly needed. If he was lucky, he might have no further contact with the girl after this brief introduction. He stepped into the open doorway and froze in surprise, unprepared for what he saw.
The reflection in the mirror had not done her justice. It had been watery and unclear. Other than her eyes, which were curiously intense, he had not noticed anything singular about her. But in person?
He caught his breath. She was a beauty, and the failed attempt at simple clothing and stern coiffure did nothing to hide the fact. Her hair was a rich chestnut, and framed a face that was softly rounded, with full red lips and startlingly green eyes. He could imagine the curves of her body under the stiff fabric of her gown, for she had none of the sharp angles he’d come to associate with women of her class. There was nothing to hint at a privation that might have urged her to take a position. Nor did she have the pinched, disapproving look of one secretly envious of her charges’ wealth.
He gripped the door frame in surprise as a wave of lust swept over him. It had been a long time since he’d been with a woman. Too long, if he had begun to harbour thoughts about the servants, especially someone brought into his house to care for his children.
But as he looked at her again, he could not resist the thought that she might be better suited for the bedroom than the classroom.
Take her there, and see.
The thought chilled him, although his blood ran hot at the sight of the girl. It did not do to give too much weight to the odd thought that might cross one’s mind, in a moment of weakness.
Is it weakness or strength, to act on your desires instead of hiding from them? You were never such a coward, before.
More madman than coward, if he was hearing voices. And even more mad to listen. If what one desired was wrong, one must not succumb.
Too late for that. You are already lost. If you want the girl, wait until the house is asleep. Then go to her and take her.
No. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see the object of temptation, and willed his pulse to slow. But it only became easier to imagine the skin hidden under the plain dress, and the smooth feel of it against his, the soft lips startled open by his kiss, and the tightness of her body as he came into her.
The voice in his head gave a sigh of satisfaction. Open your eyes and look at her, coward.
He could feel his will weakening as he allowed himself to be persuaded. Surely she did not seek the life of a governess, unless all matrimonial options had failed. She must have resigned herself to never knowing the touch of a man. If she was lonely, and as frustrated as he was, then was seduction such a great crime?
You have done worse.
Everything inside him froze. He had done worse. And worse yet, he had escaped punishment for his crime. One could justify anything, if one could live with one’s self after doing the unthinkable.
Penny turned and saw him, standing in the entrance, and gave a hurrumph of frustration at his lack of manners. ‘There you are, Timothy. Come into the room and meet Miss Collins.’
‘Miss Collins.’ He bowed, stiffly, from the waist.
The young woman stood as he entered, and responded with a curtsy, and a cool and professional smile. ‘Lord Colton.’
‘I understand you have been retained by the Duchess to see to the care of my children. It is so nice to finally meet my new employee.’ He gave her a pointed look to tell her he had seen her hiding in the hall, and was annoyed by it and the Duchess’s handling of the whole affair.
‘And to finally meet my employer.’ She responded with a look that seemed to convey her opinion of a man who cared so little for his own family that he would leave such an important decision to a neighbour.
Their eyes locked, as though in battle. For a moment, he was convinced that she had heard the voices in his head as clearly as he did himself, for she looked both disapproving and disgusted, though it was only their first meeting. Perhaps he deserved her censure. But it angered him, all the same. So he held her gaze far longer than was proper, until he was sure that she knew who was master and who was servant. At last, she broke away and cast her eyes downward. He gave a small nod of satisfaction, and said, ‘Welcome to my home. And now, if you will excuse me?’ And he left the room with Penny dumbfounded and his pride intact.
‘That man,’ muttered the Duchess in frustration and gave a small stamp of her foot.
‘Indeed.’ Daphne swallowed, trying to control the strange feeling she had had, as her cousin’s husband had smiled at her. He had stared at her far too long, until the look in his eyes had gone from sullen to seductive. He had looked at her as a wolf might look at a lamb.
She was sure that the Duchess had not seen the worst of it, thinking the man had been rude and not threatening. For when she turned to Daphne, she had a grim smile that said she would not be crossed in this, no matter how stubborn the master of the house might be. ‘Lord Colton has proved difficult on the subject of his children’s care.’
‘They are his children,’ Daphne said softly, rather surprised at how little the Duchess seemed to care about the fact.
‘Of course,’ the Duchess responded. ‘But recent events have left him all but unfit to care for them. As a close friend of the family, I feel a responsibility to help him through this difficult time.’
‘You knew Lady Colton?’ Daphne smiled eagerly. She might have an ally, if the woman had also known Clare.
‘I knew her. Yes.’ And now the Duchess’s look was one of distaste. She offered nothing more, before changing the subject. ‘But come, you must be eager to see the nursery wing and meet your charges.’ She rose quickly and preceded Daphne to the door and out into the hall, as though the merest mention of the children’s mother hung in the air like a bad smell.
As they walked up the main stairs, Daphne paused for a moment and glanced behind her. So this was where it had happened. She could almost imagine her cousin, who had been so full of life, lying dead below her on the floor of the entry. She shook off the image to further examine the scene of the crime. Smooth marble treads, and an equally smooth banister that might have denied an adequate grip to the woman who had struggled here.
She glanced at the floor to see faint proof that a rug had been present and was now removed. So the poor carpet had taken the blame. A loose corner, a trip and a fall. Perfectly ordinary. Most unfortunate.
But Daphne believed none of it. Clare had used the stairs for twelve years without so much as a stumble. There was nothing to be afraid of, if someone was not here to push you down. When she was finished in this house, everyone would know the truth and Clare would be avenged.
The Duchess did not notice her pause, absorbed by her own thoughts, which did not concern the unfortunate death of the mistress of the house. She gave a helpless little shrug. ‘I might as well tell you, before we go any further, that there is a small problem that I have been unable to deal with.’
‘Really.’ There were many problems with this house, and none of them small. Daphne wondered what would incite the Duchess to comment, if the death of Clare had not.
‘In my letter to you, I promised something I could not give. The bedroom just off the nursery is the one intended for the governess. Convenient to the classroom, and next to little Sophie should she need you in the night.’ Daphne nodded.
‘The oldest girl, Lily, has taken the room as her own. I have been unable to dislodge her from it. The two older children care deeply for the littlest girl. And in the absence of a regular governess they have taken the duties of Sophie’s care upon themselves.’ For a moment, the Duchess looked distressed, nearly to tears over the plight of the children.
Forgetting her station, Daphne reached out a hand to the woman, laying an arm over her shoulders. ‘It will be all right, I’m sure.’ It was comforting to see that the Duchess cared so deeply for the children, for it made her actions in the Colton house seem much less suspicious.
The Duchess sniffed, as though fighting back her emotion. ‘Thank you for understanding.’ She walked to the end of the hall and opened the door to the servants’ stairs, looking up a flight. ‘There is a small room at the top of the house. Only fit for a maid, really. But it is very close to the children. And yet, very private. There is nothing at all on this side of the house but the attics, and the one little place under the eaves. And it is only until you can persuade Lily to return to her own room.’
Daphne looked up the narrow, unlit staircase, to the lone door at the top. ‘I’m sure it will be adequate.’ It would be dreadful. But it was only for a few weeks. And living so simply would help her remember her position.
‘Shall we go and meet the children now? I have sent word that they are to wait for us in the schoolroom.’ She led the way past two bedrooms, which must be Sophie’s and the one Lily had usurped, to a small but well-stocked classroom. There were desks and tables, with a larger desk at one end for her, maps and pictures upon the walls and many shelves for books.
Remembering how she had felt as a child when cooped up in a similar room, Daphne was overcome with a sudden desire to slip away from the Duchess, to lead her in hide and seek or some other diversion. Anything that might prolong the time before she must pick up a primer.
The children lined up obediently in front of her, by order of age. Daphne felt a surprising lump form in her throat. They were all the picture of her beloved Clare. Red hair, pale complexions, fine features and large green eyes. Some day, the two girls would be beauties, and the boy would be a handsome rakehell.
The rush of emotion surprised her. She felt a sudden, genuine fondness for the children that she had not expected. She did not normally enjoy the company of the young. But these were the only part of her cousin that still remained. She had to overcome the urge to talk to them of the woman they both knew, and to reveal her relation to them. Surely it would be a comfort to them all to know that Clare was not forgotten?
But then she looked again. The light behind their eyes was the same suspicious glint she had seen in the man behind the desk on the floor below. They had also inherited the stubborn set of his jaw. Without speaking a word to each other, she watched them close ranks against her. They might smile and appear co-operative. And her heart might soften for the poor little orphans that Clare had left behind. But that should not give her reason to expect their help in discovering the truth of what had happened to their mother, or in bringing their father to justice.
She smiled an encouraging, schoolteacher’s smile at them, and said, ‘Hello, children. My name is Miss Collins. I have come a long way to be with you.’
The boy looked at her with scepticism. ‘You are from London, are you not? We make the trip from London to Wales and back, twice a year. And while it is a great nuisance to be on the road, it is not as if you have come from Australia, is it?’
‘Edmund!’ the Duchess admonished.
Daphne chose to ignore the insolence, and redoubled her smile. ‘As far as Australia? I suppose it is not. Do you find Australia of particular interest? For we could learn about it, if you wish.’
‘No.’ He glanced at the Duchess, who looked angry enough to box his ears. He corrected himself. ‘No, thank you, Miss Collins.’
‘Very well.’ She turned to the older girl. ‘And you are Lily, are you not?’
‘Lilium Lancifolium. Father named me. For my hair.’ When she saw Daphne’s blank look, she gave a sigh of resignation at the demonstrated ignorance of the new governess. ‘Tiger Lily.’
‘Oh. How utterly charming.’ Utterly appalling, more like. What kind of man gifted his first child with such a name? And, worse yet, a girl, who would someday have to carry that name to the alter with her. Clare’s frustration with the man had not been without grounds.
Daphne turned to the youngest child. ‘And you must be little Sophie. I have heard so much about you, and am most eager to know you better.’ She held out a hand of greeting to the girl.
The littlest girl said nothing, and her eyes grew round, not with delight, but with fear. The two older children stepped in front of her, as though forming a barrier of protection. ‘Sophie does not like strangers,’ said Edmund.
‘Well, I hope that she will not think me a stranger for long.’ Daphne crouched down so that she might appear less tall to the little girl. ‘It is all right, Sophie. You do not have to speak, if you do not wish. I know when I was little I found it most tiresome that adults were always insisting I curtsy, and recite, and sit in stiff chairs listening to boring lessons. I’d have been much happier if they’d left me alone in the garden with my drawings.’
The little girl seemed taken aback by this. Then she smiled and shifted eagerly from foot to foot, tugging at her older sister’s skirts.
In response, Lily shook her head and said, ‘Sophie is not allowed to draw.’
‘Not allowed?’ Daphne stood up quickly. ‘What sort of person would take pencils and paper away from a little girl?’
Edmund responded, ‘Our last governess—’
‘Is not here.’ Daphne put her hands on her hips, surprised at her own reaction. She had not meant to care in the least about the activities of the children. But she found herself with a strong opinion about their upbringing, and on the very first day. ‘You…’ she waved her hand ‘…older children…’ it took a moment before she remembered that calling them by name would be best ‘…Edmund and Lily. Look through your books and see if you can find an explanation of the word tyranny. For that is what we call unjust punishments delivered by despots who abuse their power. And, Sophie, come with me, and we will find you drawing supplies.’
The older children stood, stunned, as though unsure if she’d meant the instruction or was merely being facetious. But the younger child led her directly to a locked cabinet, and looked hopefully at her.
‘They are in here, are they?’ Daphne fumbled for the keys the Duchess had given her at the conclusion of the interview, which fit the doors to the nursery and schoolrooms, the desk and its various drawers. But she could find none that would fit the little cabinet. The girl’s face fell in disappointment. She patted her lightly on the head. ‘Fear not, little Sophie. It is locked today. But I promise, as soon as I have talked to the housekeeper, I will remedy the situation, and you shall have your art supplies again.’
All the children looked doubtfully at her now, as though they were convinced that she would be unable to provide what she had promised.
But the Duchess was smiling at her, as though much relieved at the sudden turn of events. ‘Children, let me borrow Miss Collins to finish arranging the particulars. Then she shall have all her keys and you shall have your paints and pencils.’ She led Daphne back out into the hall, and squeezed her arm in encouragement. ‘Well done, Miss Collins. Barely a minute in the room, and you have already found a way to help the children. You are brilliant. And a total justification of my desire to advertise in London for a woman with exemplary references, instead of dealing with the problem in the haphazard manner this family is accustomed to. I am sure you will do miracles here. You are just what is needed.’
Daphne could only pray that the woman was right.
