Lullaby for Two
Auteur·e
Karen Rose Smith
Lectures
17,5K
Chapitres
13
Chapter One
Vince Rossi stood in shock in front of the receptionist’s sliding-glass window.
He’d known he’d probably have to deal with his past at some point. But reading the third name on the placard beside the window, he knew that karma was ready to bite him in the butt today.
He studied the letters of Dr. Tessa McGuire’s name as if somehow they’d change before his eyes. But they didn’t. She was one of the pediatricians in this practice and he’d have to deal with it. He had a two-out-of-three chance of Sean’s chart not landing in her stack. Those weren’t bad odds.
The seven-month-old baby nestled in Vince’s arm gurgled and stared up at him with sparkling blue eyes. Vince’s heart melted just as it had from the moment he’d first held the little boy. Was it possible he’d become Sean’s legal guardian only two and a half months ago? Only a week ago he’d returned to his hometown of Sagebrush, outside of Lubbock, Texas, in an attempt to find Sean the medical attention he needed, as well as put them both on the pathway to a new life. Vince had been impressed by the Family Tree Health Center where this pediatric practice as well as obstetrical, counseling, ophthalmological and a few other specialty practices were located.
The receptionist had finished her call and opened the glass window, staring at Vince expectantly.
“Sean Davidson’s the patient, but I’m his legal guardian—Vince Rossi. Our appointment is for eleven-thirty,” Vince said.
The woman checked off his name on the list in front of her. But before she could utter a word, the door to the waiting area opened.
Tessa McGuire appeared.
Her blond hair was still soft and wavy on her shoulders, her forget-me-not-blue eyes bright, her face mature in its beauty now. It had been twenty years since Vince had last seen her.
“Sean Davidson,” she called cheerily. Then her gaze fell on Vince, recognized him, and her whole body went perfectly still.
Vince knew there was no use pretending. No point skirting the issue. Too much was at stake for Sean.
He strode forward and stopped in front of her. “I didn’t know we’d be assigned to you. I’m Sean’s legal guardian. If you’ll have a problem treating him, I can find another doctor.”
Tessa had always been the perfect lady, the well-bred daughter of one of the richest ranchers in Sagebrush. She was pale now, as if the shock of seeing Vince had affected her physically. He knew the feeling. Acid burned in his gut.
Sean wriggled in his arms and cooed, reminding Vince of why he was here. He repositioned the baby in his arm, careful of Sean’s injured shoulder.
Tessa was watching, missing nothing. Finally she spoke. “Treating Sean won’t be a problem. Please follow me.”
So polite. So proper. So ready to do what she thought was right.
She’d thought going home to her father was right…divorcing Vince was right…forgetting they’d ever been married was right.
He followed her, almost curious what the privacy of an examination room might reveal. His body was already warning him that twenty years hadn’t made a difference in his attraction to her. Tessa McGuire had always turned him on more quickly than any other woman. Apparently, that hadn’t changed.
Awkward silence settled over the small room.
Tessa was studying him as he mentally ticked off the differences she’d see. At thirty-eight, there were strands of gray in his black hair. A scar from an arrest-gone-bad marred his left jaw. After he’d left Sagebrush, Air Force conditioning had put muscles on his lean body. After that, a workout regimen had kept him conditioned as a homicide detective.
He gave them both a few seconds to absorb the shock of seeing each other again. Finally he asked, “Do you want Sean on the table?”
In this examination room, colorful cartoon characters walked and danced and played on the walls in artistically drawn murals. Sean was looking all around, fascinated by them.
In answer to Vince’s question, Tessa took a few steps forward and stopped. “I’ll take him.” She reached for his son.
Vince thought of Sean as his son even though he hadn’t formally adopted him yet. He was waiting until they settled into a permanent place.
Transferring Sean to Tessa seemed to have an electric effect on them both. As her hands slid around the baby, they brushed Vince’s chest. He caught a glimpse of startled awareness in Tessa’s eyes as she tucked Sean into her arms, ducked her head and carried the little boy to the table.
Sean didn’t seem to mind being held by her. He looked up at Tessa, waved his good arm and gurgled as if saying hello.
The expression on Tessa’s face was so tender, so caring that Vince suddenly understood she’d become a pediatrician because while she’d never bear children of her own, in this specialty she could take care of everyone’s kids.
As she settled Sean on the table, she asked, “How long have you been back in Sagebrush?”
“We drove in from Albuquerque last Monday.”
Her gaze lifted to meet his. Then she quickly glanced away, concentrated on his baby again, took Sean’s temperature with the ear thermometer, and offered him her finger—maybe to test his grip. After tickling his tummy, she warmed her stethoscope with her palm before slipping it under Sean’s T-shirt.
Vince took the opportunity to study Tessa again. Under her white coat decorated with cartoon characters, she wore a light blue, silky blouse and navy skirt. Her navy shoes had a small heel, just high enough to delineate the curves of her legs. She was as slender as she’d been as a teenager, as slender as she’d been before she’d gotten pregnant.
Vince veered away from thoughts and memories he’d tamped down for a very long time.
After she finished listening to Sean’s heart and lungs, she examined the rest of him, making a game of using the tongue depressor, gently looking into his ears with the otoscope, running her hands over his injured right shoulder and testing his range of motion.
Still concentrating on the baby, she told Vince, “I received Sean’s chart this morning. With his name different from yours…” She stopped. “I have to admit I skimmed the front of the form and just paid attention to the medical facts. If I’d studied it more carefully, I would have noticed your name, too.”
“Tessa, I meant it when I said I could go to another doctor.”
Now she looked him straight in the eye. “I don’t turn children away, Vince.”
Not even when you don’t want to be in the same room with their parents? He didn’t ask the question aloud.
“We might only be in Sagebrush until Sean’s shoulder problems are resolved,” he explained, thinking that would relieve any anxiety she might have about Sean being her patient.
“A shoulder injury like Sean’s is complex.” Again her gaze met his unswervingly. “We usually see brachial plexus injuries when a baby gets stuck during the birthing process. In this case, with a seat belt causing the shoulder injury, we have a similar situation. How did you hear about Dr. Rafferty?”
“Sean’s doctor in Albuquerque went to med school with him and said he’s top-notch. When I researched him on the Internet, I saw he specialized in these surgeries. So coming to Lubbock seemed to be the best decision I could make. I want the best for Sean.”
Although she hadn’t asked, he decided to give her a bit more personal information. Maybe then she’d share some of her own. “For the past thirteen years I’ve been a homicide detective with the Albuquerque P.D.”
Her gaze shot to his.
“After the Air Force, I wanted to do something that made a difference.” He paused and added, “I never imagined that when my partner and his wife designated me in their will to be their baby’s legal guardian, a car accident would take their lives and change mine.”
Tessa continued examining Sean as she absorbed that. “You’re a single dad?”
Tessa’s tone was distinctly removed. Was she just making conversation? Trying to find out about Sean’s situation? Or was her inquiry more personal than that?
“I’m not married. I never have been.” When Tessa’s eyes flashed a few silver sparks, he added, “I mean, except for us. Military service and then a police officer’s schedule were tough on relationships.”
After much soul-searching, Vince had realized he’d joined the Air Force to forget about Tessa…to wipe her pregnancy and their marriage out of his mind. After the Air Force, he’d focused on becoming a detective and had never looked back. It was still too painful.
However, now with Tessa listening to his every word, he knew he’d be looking back all the while he was in Sagebrush. Would she? He was too aware of her. Was she just as aware of him?
“Did you get a job with the Lubbock P.D.?” she asked nonchalantly, as if it didn’t matter.
That had been his intention, but then he’d found out about another position. “Do you remember Ryder Greystone?” Ryder had been one of their classmates in high school.
Tessa nodded.
“He’s with the Lubbock P.D. and I called him. He said sure, they could use me, but it turns out Sagebrush’s chief of police, Clinton Farmer, had a heart attack and took a leave of absence. The mayor was having a problem finding a temporary replacement. After recuperation from bypass surgery, Farmer intends to come back at the end of August. So I applied, had several long interviews over the phone and was appointed to the position.”
“You’re going to be chief of police in Sagebrush?” Her eyes were wide with her surprise.
“Don’t tell me you’re having trouble seeing me as a law-and-order kind of guy,” he joked. Maybe if they took a light touch, seeing each other again would be easier.
Tessa’s cheeks flushed. “Oh, it’s not that. I guess I thought you’d be living in Lubbock rather than Sagebrush. But if you’re chief of police—”
“I’m renting a one-story duplex on Whitehorse Road. What about you? Are you in Lubbock or living with your dad?” Walter McGuire would be in his late sixties now. Vince had seen a billboard advertising cutting horses from Arrowhead Ranch, so he guessed Tessa’s dad was still hard at work building up a legacy for her.
At the mention of her father, Tessa went quiet, readjusted Sean’s clothes so they were back in place, then scooped him up off the table. “I’m sharing a house in Sagebrush with two friends.”
Her tone seemed to say, Not that it’s any of your business. His mention of her father had put her on the defensive. He should have known better.
“Sean looks healthy, other than his shoulder, of course,” she assured Vince. “His chart says he has an appointment with Dr. Rafferty on June twelfth. If Dr. Rafferty believes surgery is not in order, then what are you going to do?”
“I’ll serve as chief of police until Farmer comes back, then maybe return to Albuquerque. Everything’s up in the air right now, Tessa. I’m just taking one day at a time.”
At the sound of her first name on his lips, her body seemed to stiffen, her shoulders becoming a little squarer. Then she was handing Sean over to Vince, this time very careful not to touch him. The awkwardness in accomplishing that emphasized the relationship they’d once had and the lack of even friendship between them now.
To cover her attempt to stay distant from him, if not his baby, Tessa asked, “So you’re exercising Sean’s arm every day?”
“Yes. And the woman I’ve hired to take care of him knows how to do it, too.”
Even as a teenager, Tessa had foregone perfume for more natural scents like fruity shampoos and lotions. Vince inhaled a hint of vanilla and strawberries that took him straight back to necking sessions with her in his beat-up pickup.
She crossed to the door and opened it. “Good luck with Dr. Rafferty. Make sure he sends me a report.” Her expression softened a little. “I know what a stress this must be…to be worrying about Sean.”
Their eyes locked and his heart pounded as he approached the doorway where she stood. Tessa pulled her gaze from his and touched Sean’s hand. The baby took hold of her finger and looked up at her with seven-month-old fascination.
Vince knew exactly how his son felt.
Tessa removed her finger from Sean’s fist. “Good luck, little one,” she murmured.
After Vince gave her a nod and a muttered, “Thanks,” he held Sean a little tighter and walked down the hall. How often had Tessa said those words before? How often had she looked at a baby and thought about her own? How often had she thought of him and blamed him for the hysterectomy she’d had no choice in having?
He might never know the answer. He and Tessa had been finished long ago. She obviously wanted to keep it that way.
Tessa hurried through the lobby of the Family Tree Health Center, hardly aware of the bright sunshine pouring in the plate-glass windows, barely noticing the photographs of children, moms and dads and families hung in casual to formal frames on the pale yellow walls. She was in a daze as she veered toward the coffee shop to the right of the main entrance, passed the bird-of-paradise potted plant and a ledge lined with pothos ivy.
Stopping to gain her focus again, she spotted the table where Emily Diaz and Francesca Talbot were sitting. She was late meeting them for lunch…late pulling herself together…late trying to push the image of Vince’s face out of her head…late trying not to remember the feel of baby Sean in her arms.
Vincent Rossi was back in Sagebrush and she was just going to have to deal with it.
Masterful at hiding what she didn’t want others to see, she’d found she could let her guard down with Emily and Francesca. The three of them not only lived in a refurbished Victorian together but had become best friends.
Francesca greeted her first, sleek chestnut hair slipping over her shoulder, her green eyes sparkling as she beckoned Tessa toward their table. A neonatologist, Francesca had her office on the second floor of the center. She had office hours all day Monday, but spent most of her time at the hospital with her tiny patients.
Emily Diaz’s big brown eyes were already studying Tessa as she approached the table. Emily had pulled her curly black hair back from her face and fastened it with a navy scrunchie. Wearing Dr. Madison’s staff smock—Emily was his obstetrical nurse—she could fade into the background if she wanted to and usually did want to. Tessa still didn’t know why. Emily had only lived with her and Francesca for five months, but the empathetic way she had of listening had endeared her to both of them. Although Tessa realized they didn’t know her whole story yet, she didn’t push. Emily would tell them in time.
“We ordered the grilled-chicken salad for you and the peach iced tea. Is that okay?” Francesca asked.
They were usually short on time and both Emily and Francesca knew Tessa always ordered the same lunch.
“That’s fine,” she assured her with a distracted wave of her hand, taking her seat and dropping her purse to the floor.
“Rough morning?” Francesca asked.
Was it so obvious? Was she pale? Did the strain show? Had Vince realized how he had affected her?
Slipping the lemon slice off the side of her water glass, she squeezed it then dropped it in. After taking a few sips, she made sure that when she breathed in and then out it was deep and even.
“What happened?” Emily asked her, her concern obvious. “Problems with a patient?”
Tessa never discussed specifics about her patients and both women knew that. They were bound by the same terms of confidentiality. But they could talk in general terms.
“No, not a patient,” Tessa replied quietly.
Her friends waited expectantly.
Tessa glanced around and saw that at their corner table they had relative privacy. “A ghost from my past walked into my office today.” That was all she could say. Although Vince wasn’t her patient, his son, Sean, was.
After exchanging a look with Emily, Francesca asked, “Not Vince Rossi?”
Because Tessa had lived with Francesca since her return to Sagebrush from California two years ago, the neonatologist had known Tessa’s story. On the other hand, Emily, who had lived in Corpus Christi all of her life until her recent move to Sagebrush, only knew Tessa had had a hysterectomy, not the whole story behind it. It wasn’t that Tessa hadn’t wanted to confide in Emily, she just hadn’t wanted to dredge it all up again. The hysterectomy had affected her life and still affected it now. She’d discussed it with her two friends when she’d decided to apply to become an adoptive parent, but not why or how it had happened.
“Who’s Vince Rossi?” Emily asked.
Tessa dropped her chin into her hands, rubbed her face, pushed back her hair and realized it was time Emily knew her history, too. Maybe excavating the hurt would remind her to stay away from Vince.
Of course she’d stay away from Vince! Once his little boy’s surgery was over, he’d be gone. That was Vince. He left.
After taking another sip of water, Tessa explained, “Vince and I met in high school.” Saying those words brought it all back…back to that morning in the library during her senior year when she’d been sitting in a far corner out of the way and hadn’t been able to keep her tears from falling.
She hadn’t known Vince well. He’d taken vo-tech courses and she’d taken academic preparation. She’d attended a private girls’ school until ninth grade, then had made a deal with her father. She’d go to any college he chose, if he’d let her attend public high school.
So there she was, tears falling down her face, when a deep voice at her side asked, “Are you okay?”
Vince Rossi was everything she shouldn’t have been attracted to, with his dark, handsome looks and brooding gray eyes, his wrong-side-of-the-tracks attitude. With few flirting skills and little experience, she’d been afraid to get close to him.
“I’m fine,” she’d told him, but her tears stated a different story.
He sat down beside her. “You don’t look fine.”
Back then she didn’t have close friends because her father had still controlled her life, her comings and goings and who she could bring to the house. Female classmates cut her out of their cliques. She was an outsider who couldn’t break into groups with friendships established since grade school. A couple of girls who did befriend her only tried because of her father’s wealth and what they could enjoy because of it. It hadn’t taken her long to catch on.
So because of all that, because she felt alone much of the time, she’d told Vince the truth. “We had to put my dog to sleep. He was my best friend and he had a stroke. I miss him so much.”
Vince’s expression had reflected kindness and her own sadness. “I know what it’s like to miss someone. My mom left when I was a kid.”
“My mom died when I was born,” she’d replied softly.
They’d gazed into each other’s eyes, and she’d fallen in love with Vincent Rossi right then and there.
“Tessa?” Francesca called her name, bringing her back to the present.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I—” She took a breath and moved her fork. “Vince and I connected. We more than connected.” She sighed. “Then I got pregnant that April. We waited until after graduation to tell my dad. Vince insisted on marrying me, so my dad disowned me.”
“You can’t be serious!” Emily knew Tessa and her dad were close now.
“Oh, I’m very serious. Vince insisted on doing the right thing and married me. He got a job as a roofer during the day and worked in a saddlemaker’s shop at night. I hardly saw him. I was pretty sick throughout my pregnancy. I worked at Thelma’s Dress Shop. When I couldn’t be on the sales floor, I helped her with bookkeeping.”
“Thelma’s? Over on Tumbleweed? It’s been there that long?” Emily asked.
Francesca answered her. “Thelma’s daughter runs it now. But Thelma still comes in a few days a week.”
“Go on,” Emily encouraged Tessa. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Sometimes I forget you haven’t lived here all your life,” Tessa admitted. She was actually glad for Emily’s interruption because what came next was the difficult part.
Francesca reached across the table and patted Tessa’s hand. “It might be good to talk about it. You never do.”
No, she never did…because she just wanted to forget. “I was twenty-six weeks pregnant when I went into labor. I had a placenta accreta. The placenta pulled a hole in my uterus and I hemorrhaged. We lost the baby and I had to have a hysterectomy.”
Emily went very quiet. She brought her hands together in her lap, looked down at them and then returned her gaze to Tessa’s. “I’m so very sorry, Tessa. That would be devastating for any woman. As a teenager, I can’t even imagine what that did to you.”
“When my father heard what happened, he blamed Vince and the life we were living. We had a walk-up apartment and the bare necessities. Everything we earned went for expenses and the baby. The night I went into labor, I collapsed and couldn’t get to the phone. Our landlady found me and called the ambulance. I needed Vince but he wasn’t there…he was working. When I was released, I made the choice to go home with Dad rather than back to our apartment. I didn’t want to be a burden on Vince. I didn’t know if he married me because he had to, or because he thought we were meant to be together, like I did.”
She stopped to take a much-needed pause, then went on. “Vince…Vince came to my dad’s. He told me the pregnancy and our marriage was a mistake, that we’d been too young. He knew I wanted to be a doctor and he said that’s what I should be. He was going to join the Air Force, maybe make a career of it like his uncle had. His uncle was very different from his dad. His dad drank and couldn’t hold a job, and I think Vince just needed to prove he was different, that he could succeed at something. He didn’t ask me what I wanted. I could see he wasn’t willing to fight for what we had.”
“You were both grieving. You’d lost a child,” Emily sympathized.
“A baby boy,” Tessa murmured, her own voice catching. Then she regained her composure. “I know now no one should make major decisions about their life under those circumstances. But we did. He left, and I went to Stanford. Less than a year later I heard he was seeing someone. So I knew our relationship hadn’t meant as much to him as it had to me. Even though we’d broken up, even though we’d gotten a divorce, I still felt betrayed.”
“So what happened today?” Francesca prompted. “Why was he at your office? He’s moved back and he has children?”
“I can’t say. You know that. If you find out about Vince from someone else, that’s fine. But I can’t tell you anything more.”
Francesca and Emily exchanged another of those looks, and Tessa knew what that meant. Sagebrush was a small town. They’d soon know exactly why Vincent Rossi had returned.
The waitress appeared, carrying a tray with their lunches. Tessa had no appetite whatsoever. However, she was determined that Vince Rossi’s return would not affect her life. He would not turn her world upside down a second time.
Vince entered Sagebrush High School ten days later, cell phone to his ear. “Is everything okay?” he asked the woman he’d hired to take care of Sean.
“Just fine, Mr. Rossi. Sean ate all of his supper. I’m going to give him a bath and put him to bed. Or do you want me to keep him up until you come home?”
Vince had interviewed three women to watch Sean during his working hours. He’d liked Mrs. Zappa the best. She was a widow, a retired teacher who was available whenever he might need her and she loved kids. Almost everyone in town knew her and they’d all given her good references. So he shouldn’t worry when he was away from Sean. But he’d been caring for the little boy day and night, all by himself, since the beginning of March. It was hard to let go.
“No, don’t keep him up,” he directed her. “He’ll just get cranky. If he wakes up later, I’ll read him a story and then put him down again. I should be home by nine…ten at the latest. The parent meeting will probably last about a half hour, and then there will be questions and answers afterward.”
He knew Tessa was going to be at the meeting, too. At least this time he’d be prepared to see her. This time he was ready.
That’s what he told himself.
Until he walked into the principal’s office and saw her. She was standing at the counter where visitors signed in and out, where students made their needs and wants known. She was wearing a raspberry-colored suit with a cream blouse and looked like ten million bucks.
She must have heard him come in because she turned, and their gazes collided. “Vince,” she said in acknowledgment, her soft voice running up his spine like a sensual finger. “I thought you might send one of your officers to take care of this.”
Maybe she was hoping he’d send one of his officers to speak. Then she wouldn’t have to see him. “I thought tonight was too important to skip. I don’t think parents realize exactly what dangers crop up around the prom and the summer holidays. They need to know what to do to talk to their kids and protect them.”
Tessa gave him a long, studying assessment. “I agree. The principal said you were going to talk first. Do you have a prepared presentation?”
He grinned at her. “Nope. I’m going to wing it.” Then he shrugged. “I’ve done this before about a thousand times. It’s all in my head.”
She lifted her zippered portfolio. “It’s all in my notes.”
He laughed. That was Tessa, always organized and prepared. He took a few steps closer to her and his laugh faded. “Are you going to cover alcohol and drugs?”
She didn’t step back, just nodded.
Her blond brows were so delicately shaped. Her fringe of lashes was darker than her hair. Her blue eyes had always been guileless. He could smell vanilla and strawberries again, and he saw the pulse at her neck beating.
“Are you nervous about this?” he asked.
“The presentation? Or giving the presentation with you?”
“Either. Both.”
“I’m not seventeen anymore. I don’t get nervous as easily.”
The bravado was new, as was her confidence level. But so much was the same.
He gently placed a finger on the pulse point of her neck and could feel exactly how fast her heart was beating. “You’re nervous about something,” he insisted.
She could have slapped his hand away, which was sort of what he expected. She definitely could have backed away. But she just stood there, gazing into his eyes, and he realized that was worse than shutting him out.
Because he saw the pain he’d caused Tessa…and now he knew she’d never forgive him.
