Pregnant Princess at the Altar
Auteur·e
Karin Baine
Lectures
17,8K
Chapitres
10
CHAPTER ONE
‘NOT EVERY PRINCESS gets to live in a fairy tale, Gaia.’
‘If anyone knows that, Mother, it’s me.’
Currently her life was less handsome prince and happy-ever-after, and more unexpected pregnancy and absentee partner. Not exactly the stuff every little girl dreamed of, nor something she was brave enough to tell her family. The consequences of that particular news would be so far-reaching she couldn’t face it yet.
The country of Lussureggiante—the name of which literally described the lush green land surrounding them—was a principality located near the Northern Italian border. It might be ruled by the monarchy but the inhabitants didn’t always respect them. Gaia knew she wasn’t going to gain them any new fans with her current status.
‘I’m not sure what a movie premiere has to do with restoring the Benetti name exactly...’ She trailed off, sounding more like a surly teen than a twenty-nine-year-old princess, second in line to the throne, but she had more important issues on her mind than the latest over-hyped film.
Even in the dim light of the limousine she could feel her mother’s steely grey stare upon her. ‘Your grandfather requests it. He wants you to be seen, so you will be accepted as the first female figurehead of the royal family when he dies.’
‘No pressure, then.’ There was nothing to be gained from another discussion on the subject other than causing her mother more anguish. She’d been through enough lately because of Gaia’s father. He was the reason she was in this new media-focused role. The public scandal of the Prince, the future king, severing all ties with the royal family to run off with a married woman half his age had thrown the monarchy into complete disarray.
Not only had he humiliated his dutiful wife, disgraced the family name and caused their popularity to fall to an all-time low, but also now Gaia was expected to step up into his place. It wasn’t something anyone had planned for, they simply had no other choice of direct descendants from her grandfather. If she wasn’t put forward for the role the next in line would come from some less than desirable alternative outside the immediate Benetti family.
When she was growing up, the idea of one day leading the country had been something for her father to aspire to, not her. Therefore she’d remained mostly in the background, as the women in this family were supposed to do. Leaving the focus on her grandfather and later her father to have the hopes of a nation weighing on their shoulders. It was her duty to marry well and continue the family line. So far, she’d unfortunately endured carbon copies of her father—men who apparently couldn’t commit to one woman or be content with their lot. The last no-hoper, Stefan, the vice president of a large banking firm she’d met at a garden party, had seemed a suitable match at the time. Although he would have been considered a commoner, he was descended from royalty on his Swedish mother’s side. Good stock was the common perception. Until she’d discovered she was pregnant and he’d shown his true colours.
Not only had he told her he wasn’t ready to settle down and have a family, but he’d later accused her of sleeping around when she told him she was keeping the baby too. It was apparent he wasn’t going to be involved, and with that attitude she’d decided she didn’t want him in her life any longer. A relief to him, especially when she promised not to tell anyone he was the father. They’d made a clean break, but she was still the one left to deal with the fallout.
Gaia wanted her baby. Being a daughter instead of the son and heir her father had desired, she knew what it was to be considered worthless, and would never purposely inflict that cruelty on her own child. Yes, she’d prefer her baby to be born into a warm, loving family with two parents, but she’d do her best to love enough for both parents.
A child would give her life real meaning, making her a mother, someone her child would be completely dependent on. She needed to be needed, to give and receive unconditional love she never truly believed she’d had in her life. Her mother had tried her best but Gaia knew her heart was completely devoted to her father. She’d been a disappointment to them both and probably the reason there’d been a rift between them since the beginning of their marriage.
Although she’d made the decision before her father abdicated, thinking becoming a mother would give her the purpose she didn’t have in life, she wasn’t going to change her mind. Even if she now had a dual role to fulfil.
She knew she was privileged to be in such a position, and she would do her utmost for her baby and her country. It simply would’ve been more comforting to have a supportive partner by her side.
This pregnancy hadn’t happened in the best of circumstances, but she never wanted her child to feel the way she had growing up. It would be easier for her not to be pregnant for her and the family’s sake, but the sheer joy she felt knowing there was a baby growing inside her was something she would not give up.
She could only imagine the joy of finally getting to meet this little one and having the privilege of raising him or her, introducing them to all the wonderful things in the world, and protecting them from the bad stuff. Being a good parent was as important to her as the other role being lined up for her future and she wasn’t going to let anyone take that away from her.
Right now she was under pressure to be a good princess, deserving of the new position her grandfather was prepping her for. One which would break with family tradition in a constitution which had only revered the male members of the family, but her grandfather was resilient, if not ‘modern’. With his son’s behaviour so prevalent in the headlines, things had to change, and what better way to prove the family could be forward-thinking than to pass the crown on to a woman when the time came? That way the focus would be less on the rich privilege they were granted in their position, which her father had abused, and on a new enlightened monarchy granting equal rights for the men and women in the family.
For it to come out that she was on her own and pregnant would not make a good impression. She could be accused of following in her father’s footsteps with loose moral behaviour when nothing could be further from the truth. All she was guilty of was picking the wrong men, like her mother.
‘If you do not accept the position your grandfather is graciously bestowing upon you, the alternative is Antonio, who would surely collapse the monarchy with his disregard for tradition or decorum.’
Her distant cousin would be next in line and would be unacceptable to her grandfather and the rest of the country when he was frequently in trouble with the law. Definitely not the saviour of their reputation needed in the wake of her father’s mid-life crisis.
She wasn’t prepared for this new position or the expectations which came with it. Her only hope was for her grandfather to live for ever or her father to repent and be reinstated in his royal role. Neither of which was likely to happen.
So here she was, rolling up to a red-carpet event, carrying a secret which could cause almost as much damage to the family as her father in front of the world’s press.
A swell of nausea threatened to spoil her sheer white, beaded, halter-neck gown.
Even though it wasn’t her fault her ex had walked away, her mother would be disappointed in her. She didn’t want to imagine her grandfather’s reaction when he was championing her as the saviour of the whole institution.
The car came to a stop and she could hear the crowd outside, see the throng of people lined either side of the red carpet. She swallowed down the ball of anxiety blocking her airway and threatening to suffocate her as the privacy of the car interior was about to be ripped away from her.
‘Who’s in this film, anyway? Anyone I would know?’ With this engagement thrust upon her at the last minute she hadn’t been given much information and she didn’t want to go in blind. If she slipped up on a name or didn’t recognise the important people tonight it would be a faux pas she wouldn’t be allowed to forget.
‘Niccolo Pernici. I know you like that dance film he did a while back. You were always watching it.’
Gaia blushed undercover of the semi-darkness. It was true, she’d loved the film, but she watched it for one particular sexy scene which her mother would not have approved of if she’d seen it.
‘I thought he’d been cast out into the wilderness after all those rumours. Something about fraudulent business practices, wasn’t it?’ She’d been disappointed at the time, reading about the dodgy dealings alleged by his ex-girlfriend in the papers. It had taken the shine off her crush to think he wasn’t the honourable, upstanding man he portrayed in the movies.
Yet there’d been no arrest or court case and the furore had seemed to die down after a while. He’d remained off the radar and she had imagined perhaps that he’d grown tired of this superficial world, as she had lately.
She could relate to having a supposed private life splashed all over the papers with no opportunity for comeback, advised to remain silent and dignified until things blew over.
‘Apparently this is his baby and the critics have been raving about it. Which is why we want to be seen here tonight. This is his comeback, and your debut as a more prominent member of the royal family.’
‘Isn’t it going to look strange having two female members of the family in attendance?’ Traditionally they were there merely to look pretty on the arms of the men, who were there in a position of more authority. Nothing more than clothes horses whose make-up and hair would be judged and critiqued the world over. Apparently the men added more of a sense of gravitas, or something equally sexist.
‘Your grandfather isn’t in good enough health to sit through these things, and your father...well, his presence is equally unlikely. Yes, it goes against tradition, but that’s exactly why we should be here together. Everyone needs to get used to the idea that this will no longer be a male-dominated monarchy.’ Her mother almost sounded proud of her. As if watching her daughter ascend through the ranks could erase the humiliation and shame of what her husband had done. Gaia only hoped she wasn’t going to add to her mother’s woes.
‘Thank you for the support.’ Gaia reached out and took her hand, surprised to see tears in her mother’s eyes. She’d always been a rock, standing steadfast through all of her father’s indiscretions, which he’d never bothered to hide, still carrying out her public duty and serving her country. All the time putting up with the emotional abuse Gaia’s father had directed at her.
‘You’re lucky you married into this family. Without me, you’re nothing,’ was something she’d heard repeatedly used against her mother when objections to his behaviour were raised.
It was so ingrained in her Gaia thought it about herself too. She wasn’t the longed-for male heir but a useless woman who didn’t deserve her place in the family, or his time.
As far as Gaia was concerned, her mother had been the perfect princess, always acting appropriately and showing compassion for those less fortunate than herself. She could see the pain that caused her now, still having to put on a brave face when inside she was still devastated by her husband’s public betrayal.
There was no more time to console her mother as their chauffeur opened the car door and the glare of cameras and lights blinded them.
As they had been taught to do, Gaia and her mother slapped on their smiles before facing the crowd.
‘At what point can I leave?’ Niccolo whispered to Ana, his agent, who was his plus one for the night.
‘It’s your premiere, Niccolo. This is Niccolo Pernici’s great comeback. There will be no sneaking away.’ She emphasised the last three words with a tap on his chest with her folded fan, a much-needed accessory inside the movie theatre on this balmy evening.
‘You know best,’ he sighed, resigned to the fact he’d spend the rest of the night smiling and posing for photographs when all he really wanted was to be alone.
‘I know these past two years have been tough, Nicco, but I always believed in you. By the look of tonight’s turn-out, your fans do too. All of those things Christina said about you were unproven because they weren’t true. I still don’t know why you didn’t sue her for defamation of character after the damage she did to your reputation.’
‘Because that’s what she wanted—drama, attention and, most of all, a reaction from me.’ His ex-girlfriend had accused him of being emotionless, a robot incapable of actual feelings. It wasn’t true; he simply found life easier to get through by keeping his emotions at bay.
The death of his mother at a young age had devastated him to the point where he’d stopped talking altogether. No one had thought to tell him about the cancer which had taken her, making it more of a shock to him than anyone else when she went away for ever. It had taken a lot of therapy and counselling for him to recover, with little assistance from his father other than arranging the appointments. He hadn’t wanted to talk about what had happened, just wanted his son to be ‘normal’ again. Niccolo’s grief had consumed him and the only way he’d been able to move on and make his father happy again was to lock those feelings away. He’d been doing that ever since.
He could see why Christina had thought him cold, but the truth was he simply hadn’t loved her the way she needed him to. That was what had prompted her tirade after he’d broken up with her, refusing to commit to their moving in together. She’d insinuated to anyone who would listen that he was involved in conning people out of their life savings for investments that didn’t exist. In reality it was his father who mixed in some dubious business circles, always putting money before people. However, an ex scorned didn’t care for trivial details such as the truth and had a ready-made audience in the press, who were all too keen to knock him off his top-billing perch. There was nothing the tabloids loved more than to build a man up, only to watch him fall back down again.
He’d been a box-office surety, thanks to his roles in crowd-pleasing romantic comedies. Then, when Christina had spread her poison, he’d suddenly found himself persona non grata in the industry. Offers and scripts had begun to dry up along with his chat-show requests. His refusal to take Christina to court had helped make him look guilty and cost him all of his endorsement deals, not to mention his so-called friends.
His decision to deny everyone some high-profile mud-slinging was because he didn’t want to be exposed in what would’ve been a show trial put on for everyone’s entertainment but his. There’d been a possibility the stress would’ve proved too much, that he would’ve broken down, not through guilt, but from an explosion of all the emotion he’d been fighting since the day he’d told Christina it was over. Within a few months he’d lost everything he’d ever worked for and he didn’t want the world to see him broken, didn’t want to let his pain win through for fear of never being able to rein it in again. It would’ve been a very public breakdown waiting to happen.
Instead he’d locked himself away working on his own projects, since no one seemed inclined to offer him any more work. He’d invested what money he had left, called in favours from people still willing to give him the time of day, and come up with an emotional, one-take monologue about a man coming to terms with a terminal cancer diagnosis. Based on not only his mother’s last months but also his own emotional fragility at the time, it was a piece far removed from anything he’d ever done before. No one was more surprised than he when it had been lauded at film festivals by critics prior to this premiere and everything was riding on its being a success.
It was difficult to suddenly bounce back simply because the buzz around his film had made him hot property again. Especially when it had been filmed during one of the worst periods of his life. He wasn’t sure he could watch himself unravelling on the big screen, all too aware it was real, raw and unflinching. No acting involved. The last time he planned on ever being that vulnerable again.
‘Anyway, you should go and line up with the other subjects for our princess to cast an eye over.’ Ana opened her fan with an expert flick of the wrist to rival that of any Edwardian heroine and sauntered into the screening with the rest of the crowd.
Niccolo had no choice but to fall into the greeting line. It was a royal premiere after all. His premiere. All he had to do was smile, shake hands and pray this film was a success so he could get his life back on track.
‘Lovely to meet you.’
‘Hello.’
‘I’ve heard it’s a wonderful film.’
He watched Princess Gaia make her way along the short line of crew who’d worked with him on the project, shaking hands and reducing them to gibbering fools. Usually he didn’t put any store in their monarchy when they seemed like any other dysfunctional family, only with extra privilege and influence. However, great things were expected of this woman and he had to respect the grace with which she was dealing with the pressure. He knew what it was like to have the spotlight shining so brightly it was almost incapacitating.
As they’d been instructed to do by those more experienced in royal etiquette, he bowed and only shook hands when the Princess offered hers.
‘Mr Pernici, it’s an honour to meet you.’
‘Likewise, Your Royal Highness.’ There was no doubting her beauty, with chestnut curls falling in silken waves to her shoulders, unusual amber-coloured eyes and lips so full he imagined she was the poster girl for every red-blooded human on the planet.
He was still holding her hand, and, though it probably went against all sort of protocol, he couldn’t resist lifting it to his lips for a kiss. The flash of cameras lighting up told him it was going to be a watercooler moment tomorrow, but somehow simply shaking her hand hadn’t seemed enough. This was the future monarch and he might never get another chance to meet her. He’d wanted to make an impression on her and, judging by her little gasp, followed by her coy smile, he’d done just that.
‘Don’t you think we’ve dominated the headlines for long enough between us, Mr Pernici? Anyone would think you were purposely causing a scene.’ She was trying to hide her smile but her eyes were blazing with amusement at the stunt he’d pulled. Maybe she liked a rebel who didn’t behave exactly as he was told to do, or perhaps she was enjoying something different from the norm. Whatever it was, she clearly knew who he was and what he’d been through.
‘That wasn’t my intention, Ma’am, I assure you. I’d prefer it if no one else was around.’
‘You and me both,’ she sighed, letting that polished smile momentarily slip to give him a peek at the emotionally exhausted person behind the glamour. In that moment it seemed they’d made a connection, recognising each other’s recent hardships and how much it had cost them to come here tonight to face the world again. A secret club no one else would want to be part of.
Niccolo wondered, despite the entourage of security and advisors around her, if she’d felt as lonely as he had when her family name had been dragged through the mud. She might not have been directly involved in her father’s scandalous downfall but he was sure she’d felt the shame and the pressure to clear her name just the same. Had she had support from family or friends, or, like him, had she dealt with it all on her own? There was something about the way she carried herself that made him think the latter. That she portrayed an air of strength to protect that inner fragility he was sure he could see beyond the carefully styled royal. A similar outfit to the one he was wearing tonight, playing the Hollywood superstar to the crowd, kissing a princess without permission, while secretly terrified this could all come to an end again.
If only they had some space away from the cameras and the watching crowd they might be able to confide in each other, compare their troubled lives, perhaps even find solace in one another.
He realised he was still holding her hand and decided he’d clearly been without company too long when he was imagining forging a relationship with the future Queen based on this brief interaction. Realising herself that the introduction had gone beyond the normal polite greeting, Princess Gaia pulled her hand away.
She stepped closer, looking as though she had something to say. Niccolo leaned in so she could speak directly into his ear.
‘I guess it’s time for us to put on our game faces, Mr Pernici.’ She nodded an acknowledgement before moving on but the eye contact between them lingered a little longer than perhaps it should have.
There had been something in that recognition of one another making it impossible for Niccolo to take his eyes off her. His reward came a few moments later when she turned back to catch his eye once more. He smiled and placed his hand on his heart, afraid he’d lost it so quickly and easily to someone so out of reach.
Niccolo had known it would be too much. Watching his portrayal of a man on the verge of a breakdown was too close to home for him to remain in his seat. The last thing he needed was to burst into tears at his own movie.
‘Ana, I think I’m going to duck out for a while,’ he whispered to the one person who’d truly stuck by him through the worst time of his life.
‘But Niccolo, this is your night, your masterpiece.’ Her voice gradually got higher as she extolled all the reasons he should keep his butt in his chair.
‘I’ve seen it. Overrated if you ask me.’ He dropped a kiss on her head and did his best to leave with the minimum disruption.
Head bowed and knees bent, he crept past the other viewers, and took one last glance at the Princess sitting in the front row. She seemed so engaged in watching him fall apart he should’ve been proud of his work. Instead, his stomach and his pride plummeted into his expensive leather dress shoes that she should be witness to his actual mental decline.
‘Excuse me.’ He pushed past the bemused security behemoth at the door, almost gasping for air. To him, the auditorium had become a freak show with the VIP guests invited to ooh and ahh at the downfall of a once-loved actor now reduced to humiliating himself for a pittance. He’d done all that was expected of him so hopefully he could go home as soon as the movie itself had ended.
It was ironic that the budget production, only in existence because no one would touch him, could now herald the resurgence of his career. He couldn’t help but think it had come at too high a price.
This was different from the romantic comedies he was famed for, or the few action flicks he’d been lucky to play a part in. For someone infamous for not displaying emotion in his real life, it was all up there on the big screen for the world to see. He wasn’t suffering a terminal illness or contemplating his imminent death like his character, but he knew he’d been channelling those overwhelming feelings of his own grief and helplessness to make his character believable. That was why it was a difficult watch for him. It wasn’t fiction; it wasn’t a performance. It was a man grieving for the life he’d lost through no fault of his own, hiding in plain sight.
He wondered if Princess Gaia could relate to the pain and that powerlessness of the world continuing to spin even though one’s life had come to a standstill. If she saw past the story and the character and instead was watching the real Niccolo Pernici reveal a side to him he’d never shown anyone before. That thought was more disturbing than the worry his fans would be turned off by his change of direction.
It wasn’t often that Gaia was starstruck. Getting doe-eyed over a film star was not becoming for a princess, or so her mother had reminded her with a sharp elbow to the ribs back at the greeting line.
Given her current circumstances, she never thought she would as much as look at another man. They’d caused enough turmoil in her life to date. There was something about Niccolo Pernici in that short encounter that she’d found...intriguing. A connection between them that she’d been unable to put from her mind. Perhaps it was because they’d both been in the headlines recently for all the wrong reasons, but she’d felt a kinship, a familiarity in him, though they’d never met before. And an attraction she definitely could not afford to indulge in.
To date her relationships had been ‘arranged’. Men from the ‘right’ families, ‘good stock’, appropriate matches for the daughter of the future King. That hadn’t turned out so well when she had a type, leaning towards privileged narcissists as her mother had.
Now she was the future Queen she suspected her choices would be even more limited. In her current position she might not get a choice at all. It was part of the reason she hadn’t shared her not so happy news yet. Once the establishment heard she was pregnant they would want her married off to the next available socially acceptable suitor, and she didn’t think she had the option to object. An illegitimate child in line to the throne would be unheard of, even in a progressive country which, so far, seemed open to the idea of a future female monarch.
Although she’d done her best to stay away from the press, she knew there had been debates on TV and radio about changing the rules for her. As always, there were those in favour and some against the idea. Either way, she was in the spotlight and under pressure to be a good role model until she got the chance to experience the power and status of her ascension to the throne. Not that she was expecting an easy ride then either. She would have a lot of prejudice to fight, both inside and outside the palace, from traditionalists who wanted to maintain the status quo no matter what.
The only glimpse of happiness she could see cracking through the gloom was the actual birth of this baby. Someone who wouldn’t judge Gaia for her choices or her status. At least not until he or she was a teenager, when all bets were off. By the time her bundle of joy was born she expected to have sorted things out with her family and at least have some peace of mind on that front. Until then she had to keep her worries and secrets to herself. Something to keep her awake at night and keep her nerves constantly on edge.
That was why, despite Niccolo’s phenomenal portrayal of a man on the brink, she was getting antsy sitting here. She didn’t need to be further depressed, and if she was honest she wasn’t enjoying watching him fall apart before her eyes. Not when she’d just experienced his charisma first-hand.
What she needed was his usual smouldering, smart-ass romantic lead to make her forget her own tragic love life. She did not need to see him broken and wonder if any of it had been an act, or if she was seeing the toll these past two years had taken on him for real.
Their lifestyles and their reasons for being in the headlines were very different, but they’d both suffered at the hands of the press and the rumour mill. That pain etched on his handsome face she’d seen reflected in the mirror every day her family’s name was dragged through the mud, their very existence brought into question. It was no wonder he hadn’t been able to watch himself.
She’d noticed him slipping out and he hadn’t come back yet. It wasn’t so easy for her with Security positioned at every exit and her private bodyguard shadowing her every move. Much needed precautions in the days of terrorist attacks and people who simply bore a grudge against the royal family, but it didn’t make their presence any less stifling.
Her bladder was no longer working alongside those societal rules that dictated she shouldn’t be seen as a mere mortal who needed such basic amenities as a bathroom either.
‘Excuse me, Mother. I’ll be back in a few minutes.’ She ignored the pointed look and made her escape with her entourage practically announcing her bathroom break to the audience as they got ready to move with her.
‘I’m sure Raimondo will suffice for now,’ she told them, exasperated by the whole palaver of simply going to the bathroom. Her head of security nodded, telling the rest of the team to back down.
It was a small concession, very much appreciated. Although she still had to wait for a security sweep of the private cubicle before she was allowed a moment of privacy.
A few minutes later, whilst washing her hands at the sink, she heard voices outside the bathroom door.
‘So you’re, like, the Princess’s bodyguard? That’s so cool. Do you know Niccolo too?’
She heard Raimondo grunt in response to whom she assumed was some starry-eyed groupie hoping to find a way to reach her movie idol.
When Gaia peered outside, her big, burly security was paying more attention to the blonde twirling her hair around her finger and feeling his biceps than to his charge. This was her chance for a moment of freedom, some time to breathe without the world watching. She eased the door closed behind her, hitched up her dress and hurried down the corridor like a runaway bride having second thoughts about the man waiting for her at the end of the aisle.
In a way she supposed that was what she was, if her future role as a monarch was the groom in this scenario, with the country waiting for the happy ending. After all, what did she know about running a country? She hadn’t been prepped for it the way her father had been. This responsibility had just been dropped on her from a great height, a weight so great she could barely breathe and would possibly leave nothing more of her behind than a dark smudge of the person she’d used to be.
She let herself into a side room where chairs were stacked around the walls and old movie posters lay discarded on a threadbare jazzy carpet. Perhaps once an office, it was now little more than a store room, but to her it represented freedom. That strong need to breathe in fresh air sent her hurrying to the window and wresting the wooden frame up until the cool draught from outside breezed across her skin.
‘It is rather oppressive back there, isn’t it?’
The deep voice coming from somewhere in the room made her yelp. Now she realised how foolish it had been to ditch her security team and run off on her own. She’d left herself vulnerable to whatever weirdo had been hiding in here, and no one knew where she was. A glance around for a makeshift weapon left her clutching a nearby paintbrush.
‘Who’s there?’ she demanded, thrusting her brush dagger forward.
‘What are you going to do—paint me to death?’ the voice mocked from the shadows.
‘My—my security team will be here soon.’
‘I hope not. You look as though you need time out and I don’t fancy taking on that hulk of a bodyguard you usually have by your side.’ Shadow man stepped out from behind a stack of chairs and Gaia was able to lower her weapon.
‘Niccolo? What are you doing here?’
‘The same as you, I imagine. Escaping.’ He lifted a silver hip flask to his lips and took a swig before offering it to her. She shook her head.
Mr Movie Star didn’t look quite as composed as he had during the line-up minus his jacket, his sleeves rolled up and his bowtie hanging loosely around his open collar.
‘But it’s your movie. Everyone is here to see you.’
He glanced at her through narrowed eyes. ‘To see me, or to watch me?’
‘Isn’t it the same thing?’
Niccolo moved across the room to disarm her, setting the paintbrush back on the bench where she’d found it.
‘There are some people who have come with genuine interest in the film, curious to see if it lives up to the hype, but...’ He took another drink from his flask and she could smell whisky on his breath. ‘I’m sure there are many more out there who want to see me fail, to gossip about me, to believe all the things they’ve read about me.’
‘Do you really believe that?’ It saddened her to think people could be that cruel, or that Niccolo could think that on one of the biggest nights of his career.
‘Don’t you?’ He had an infuriating way of turning all questions back on to her, as though she was a mind reader, or someone who was going through the same thing and not enjoying the attention.
Gaia thought about the reasons she was here tonight, of how afraid she was that the very subtle changes of her two-month pregnancy might be noticed and of the repercussions of that. Her breasts were tender, her belly a little softer, but nothing too noticeable, she hoped, and her mother hadn’t commented. Now Niccolo had caused her to worry people had come to watch her, to witness her possible downfall too, and would see those tiny changes heralding her pregnancy.
She shuddered at the thought. It was a shame she couldn’t enjoy a stiff drink along with him.
‘Are you cold? I can close the window and fetch my jacket for you.’ He rubbed his hands up and down her arms and quickly generated an inner heat. It had been a couple of months since anyone had touched her and she was enjoying the feel of him against her skin.
‘Sorry. I’m probably not supposed to do that, much less even talk to you, Princess.’ He dropped his hands and took a step back, that damned sense of etiquette which followed her like a faithful hound robbing her of a further moment of comfort.
‘It’s fine. I think we’re both in need of a break from social niceties. If it’s any consolation, I never believed any of those rumours in the papers,’ she blurted out, keen for Niccolo to know he had a kindred spirit in her.
It was nice to be able to drop her guard for a little while and simply have a chat without having to choose her every word with caution. Niccolo had been to hell and back with the tabloids, so she trusted him not to share the details of their unexpected meeting. It was difficult to make friends in her position, always wary that any confidences shared would somehow make their way to the press. Alas, this was the privileged but lonely life of a princess.
He cocked his head to one side as though he was deciding whether she was being honest or merely polite. Eventually he mumbled a coy, ‘Thanks.’
Gaia wondered how much his ordeal had taken out of him. She was emotionally exhausted by the constant dissection of her family’s behaviour and it wasn’t even her who’d caused a scandal. Yet. Niccolo had come under personal attack, his integrity and good character not just called into question but completely eviscerated.
Although he had been a tad forward during their introduction, it had been harmless fun and he seemed a nice enough guy, minus the usual ego and swagger of entitlement she’d met in other celebrities. Perhaps that had been knocked out of him by one woman’s unsubstantiated claims which had derailed his career. Yet he’d never once spoken out against her, which spoke of his dignity and integrity and incredible patience.
She found herself wondering if a man like Niccolo Pernici would abandon his responsibilities. If he would have walked away from a pregnant partner and left her to deal with the consequences. She wanted to believe otherwise, that there were men out there who could still be counted upon to do the right thing, but she would for ever be wary now of anyone who crossed her path.
‘I think this film will remind people what a great actor you are and all of that terrible gossip will fade into memory.’ There was always a bigger scandal waiting in the wings. Her father’s affair had replaced the columns on Niccolo’s alleged misdemeanours. She could only pray she wouldn’t be the next target for public ridicule.
‘I hope so, but I assume the movie wasn’t to your personal taste, Princess, since you left halfway through?’ He was teasing her, his deep brown, almost black, eyes daring her to tell the truth.
‘You were amazing but I, uh...let’s just say things are a little tough for me right now and I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to appreciate it.’ She had no desire to offend him no matter how unintentionally when he’d surely had enough criticism for one lifetime.
‘You mean you didn’t want to be depressed any more than you already are? Kind of why I walked out too. Let’s hope the whole audience doesn’t feel the same way.’
That made her laugh. Something she thought she’d never do again after all the recent heartache.
‘Sorry.’ She didn’t know how to explain her reaction, her discomfort at seeing him emotionally vulnerable when she hardly knew him. An apology was all she could offer.
‘It’s fine. I realise you’ve had a tough time lately too.’ His warm smile immediately lessened her guilt and increased another emotion. An attraction to someone who seemed at ease wearing his heart on his sleeve, encouraging her to do the same and simply be herself. Something which she really didn’t need further complicating her life.
‘You could say that.’ Though he didn’t know the half of what she was going through. No one did.
‘Sorry I couldn’t give you an upbeat, feel-good, forget-about-the-real-world-for-a-while romcom. I guess I just wasn’t in the mood at the time.’ He ran his finger through his slicked-back hair, dislodging a few errant curls refusing to be tamed.
‘I’m not surprised. I don’t know how you even managed to get out of bed, much less make your own movie. Didn’t you want to just hide away from the world when all of that was going on in the press?’ That had been her reaction to finding out about her father, pulling the covers over her head and refusing to face the world until her mother had intervened. She’d been shamed then by her broken-hearted parent, who’d been directly affected by the scandal and still managed to function, outwardly at least. Whatever inner turmoil her mother had been going through she’d kept it to herself, as always. If there was one thing she had learned from her family it was not to give away what was going on behind the royal façade. That was fine when out in public, but it would have been nice to have someone at home who encouraged her to express her feelings, to have someone to talk to and confide in. She hadn’t had that sort of relationship with anyone, including her mother. Emotions were something to be contained. Yet no one had taught her how to work past them, through them, or live with them.
She and Niccolo were both trapped, playing roles they didn’t want to be in, longing for normal lives away from the public eye. Unfortunately for her that was never going to be a possibility.
‘What would that have solved? I still have to make a living. It’s not as though you can wake up in the morning and just decide not to be a princess either. This is simply part of who we are and we have to live with it.’
‘You could just walk away. Plenty of actors have shunned the spotlight and disappeared into obscurity. It’s not so easy for me.’ Unless she caused a scandal like her father, except she was the last in the immediate family line and therefore much more likely to cause irreparable damage to the monarchy if she abdicated her position.
‘I could, but I love acting so much, and this film has opened up avenues in directing I’m keen to explore too. Until last year it probably was more about the pay check for me but some time in the wilderness has given me perspective on certain things. As pompous as it sounds, I want to leave a legacy behind. I want to be able to tell stories, inform and entertain people at the same time. I’d be happier doing that than sitting counting my fortune somewhere. Don’t get me wrong, money helps, but it’s not everything.’ Niccolo’s laugh was as warm as his smile and just as intoxicating. He seemed so far from the wisecracking characters he often played Gaia could see how great an actor he truly was.
‘I did enjoy the film you did about the dance instructor, “One More Tango in Rome”.’ As well as being romantic and sweet, the dancing in that film had been passionate and downright obscene in places. She’d watched one particular scene on repeat. Not that she could admit that to the man standing in front of her, lest she spontaneously combust through embarrassment.
‘Ah, yes, a fan favourite.’ He did a quick solo waltz around the floor, causing Gaia to burst into applause.
‘Did you do the dancing yourself? I mean, did you learn the moves specially for the film?’ Her cheeks became suffused with heat at the memory of the tango sequence which led his character and his partner to the bedroom for some more spectacular moves between the sheets.
‘We had a really good teacher on set but I think the chemistry with my co-star helped. Do you dance?’
‘Only as a social requirement. The Argentine Tango is not on the approved list for princesses. Besides, I’m not sure I could do it justice. The steps seem so complicated I’d be afraid of kicking my partner somewhere inappropriate.’
‘It’s easy once you know the basics. Here, let me show you.’ He held his hand out and Gaia took it willingly.
‘Sorry, is this allowed?’ he asked, after pulling her into hold.
‘Not usually, but at present I’m not in my princess guise, I’m just Gaia.’ They’d both forgotten themselves and how they were supposed to behave around one another, but it was nice not to have someone treating her as untouchable, and at the same time feeling almost normal for once.
‘I’m not a very good student.’ She made her excuses in case she made a fool of herself in front of someone who clearly had talent in this department.
‘I’m afraid it’s a very close dance.’ He’d pulled her so tightly against him she could smell the mix of spicy cologne and man sweat clinging to his skin.
Afraid any attempt to speak would come out as a squeak, she nodded her consent and placed one hand on his shoulder, the other interlaced with his.
‘It’s about fire and passion. A love-hate, push and pull between partners.’ He showed her a few steps, leaving her dizzy as he twirled her around with ease.
‘I’m not sure I’m wearing the right outfit for this,’ she noted, her body restricted as she attempted to recreate his kicks and flicks.
‘Mmm, I think you’re right.’ He knelt down at her feet and lifted the hem of her dress. ‘May I?’
Despite being unsure what he was asking of her, she would have agreed to anything in that moment she was so enraptured with this live re-enactment of his most famous dance.
The rip of fabric sounded through the room as Niccolo deftly made two thigh-high splits in her gown. She gasped as much with delight as shock at the bold move, which wouldn’t have been out of place in her once favourite erotic scene. Replaced for ever by this one.
‘That’s better,’ he said, standing up, his eyes and voice both darker than before.
Gaia’s mouth went dry as he held her gaze, lifting her leg to anchor his thigh while they spun around. She could feel the hardness of his body pressed against her softness and her heart was racing from more than the physical exertion. It was exhilarating being in Niccolo’s arms doing something illicit and just for her.
Suddenly he threw her effortlessly up into the air and she braced her hands on his shoulders as he slowly lowered her back down his body. She was lost in his eyes, in the sensation of sliding along his torso so intimately, and to what it was doing to her inside.
He twirled her around again and dipped her head back, following the arc of her body with his so their lips were almost touching, their breath mingling in the millimetres between.
Then a camera flashed and the moment was captured. Ruined for ever.
