Ellis had been right. Kieran did return, and much sooner than I’d anticipated. The worst part? I was alone in the toy store, with no one to shield me from his devastating good looks.
Kieran walked in during Ellis’s break. I tried to hide, but the toy store offered no refuge. Besides, it was my job to assist customers, and Kieran was a customer.
He looked especially handsome today, dressed in a dark blue shirt and jeans. His muscles strained against the fabric of his shirt, providing a tantalizing view of his physique.
“Hi, Jenny, right?” Kieran greeted, flashing a smile that sent my heart into a frenzy.
I frowned at his smile. It had only been twenty-four hours since our last encounter, and I remembered the icy glare he’d given me before leaving the store. So why was he smiling now? Had his anger dissipated? Did he no longer despise me?
“Uh yes,” I replied, realizing I’d been staring at him for the past five minutes. “Can I help you with something?” I asked.
“Actually, you can. I need the perfect toy for my niece,” he responded.
“Is it her birthday?” I mentally scolded myself. Why was I engaging in conversation with a stranger, knowing the potential dangers that came with unfamiliar men? It was as if I was inviting trouble. I was such an idiot.
“No, but I’ve spoiled her so much that she expects a gift every time I visit. You can’t imagine how hard it is to find something she doesn’t already have. That’s why I need your help.”
Kieran smiled again. He seemed to smile a lot, which suggested he was content with his life. That was a good thing; everyone deserved happiness, and I was glad this attractive man was happy.
“I see.” I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. “What kind of toy are you looking for?” I asked.
Kieran was the kind of man you could spend hours admiring. Every feature of his face, every curve of his muscles was perfect.
And right now, he was being incredibly kind to me, despite my behavior yesterday. I appreciated kind men; they were a rare breed these days.
“She likes stuffed animals, but no bears,” Kieran said.
“Stuffed animals. They’re in aisle three. I’ll show you,” I offered.
If he was going to be kind to me, I could set aside my reservations about unfamiliar men and reciprocate his kindness. After all, I’d promised my dying mother that I would be kind to everyone.
Leaving the counter, I guided Kieran to the aisle filled with all sorts of stuffed animals. It was my favorite section in the entire toy store.
There was something endearing about the stuffed animals that brought me peace.
“Here you go. Choose any you like,” I told him, gesturing to the hundreds of stuffed animals displayed on the shelves.
“I don’t suppose you’re going to help me pick one, are you?” His voice held a note of amusement, and despite my mixed feelings, I found myself smiling.
“I’m sure you can pick one,” I replied, quickly looking away.
“Right.” Kieran fell silent, presumably examining the stuffed toys and deciding which one to buy for his niece.
I glanced around the aisle, careful not to look at Kieran.
“You like strawberries?”
His question startled me. “What makes you say that?”
“Maybe because there’s a giant strawberry on your shirt, and you were wearing a shirt with strawberries on it yesterday too,” he answered.
I was taken aback by his observation. I hadn’t realized he’d noticed my clothes, let alone remembered them.
“I just think they’re cute, that’s all.” I shrugged.
“I agree, they are cute,” he said.
“H-have you chosen a toy?” I asked.
I couldn’t let this escalate. I couldn’t afford to get close to anyone, or let anyone get close to me. I needed to keep this professional. Kieran didn’t need complications; he was happy in his life.
“Yes.” He picked a giant stuffed strawberry from the aisle and handed it to me, then grabbed a stuffed duck from a lower shelf. “These two.”
Nodding, I led him back to the counter. “Would you like me to wrap these for you?”
“Yes, that would be great,” he replied, playing with a few keychains hanging from a stand. “So, where’s your friend today?” he asked as I pulled out a couple of boxes for the stuffed toys.
“Ellis is on her break. She’ll be back soon,” I answered, placing the duck in a box and wrapping it with shiny paper.
“I see.” He paused. “I want to ask you something.”
“Yes?” My stomach churned with anxiety, wondering what he wanted to ask.
“Would you like to go out on a date with me, on Saturday?” Kieran asked.
My fingers froze on the tape dispenser as I looked up to meet his soft brown eyes. A date? He was asking me out on a date? Was he out of his mind? Didn’t he realize what a disaster it would be to date me?
No, no, I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t drag Kieran into my world.
“Uh, well, you see, I have plans on Saturday,” I told him.
“Okay, what about Sunday then? I’m sure you’ll be free on Sunday,” he suggested.
“I have to visit my mother on Sunday.” That wasn’t a lie. I did visit my mother every Sunday…at the cemetery.
“Maybe we can visit her together,” he proposed.
Why couldn’t he get the message? I didn’t want to go out with him. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by turning him down flat, but it seemed like that was my only option.
“No, we can’t. Sunday is mother-daughter bonding day, no third wheels allowed,” I said.
“Okay. Not Sunday then. How about tomorrow? It’s Friday, we could have dinner and catch a movie?” He was so persistent.
I sighed. It seemed like I was going to have to hurt his feelings. “Listen, Mr. Maslow—”
“Wow, you remember my name, but please, call me Kieran.”
“Kieran, I’m flattered that you want to take me out, but—”
“Wait, don’t finish that sentence. I get it.” He flashed me another smile.
Why did he keep giving me those beautiful smiles? I just turned him down, and he was still smiling at me? I didn’t deserve those smiles, not after rejecting him.
“Y-you do?” I was relieved I didn’t have to say no. I hated hurting people, even when it was necessary.
“Yes. I’ll just pay for my stuff now,” he said.
“Right, of course.” I quickly rang up his items and handed Kieran his credit card back. “Have a good day,” I told him.
“You too, Strawberry.” With a wink and that constant smile, Kieran left the store. Strawberry, he called me Strawberry? He had a strange way with nicknames.
It had been six years since I ran away from him, with nothing but a little money and a lifetime’s worth of scars on my body and soul. The years hadn’t been kind to me.
But things were better now, or at least I hoped they were. Ellis was a godsend. Without her, I’d still be living in that hell—barely surviving.
I knew I wasn’t completely safe yet. He could still find me; I had no doubt he would. And I’d have to run again when he did, but for now, maybe I could relax.
Even so, I couldn’t afford to have someone like Kieran Maslow in my life. He was just a fantasy, a fantasy I wished could become reality.
But that would never happen, so it was best if I kept my distance from him. It was better for both of us.
Even though I wanted to forget about Kieran, I couldn’t. There was something so captivating about him, something that made me think about him, to picture that stunning smile.
I was losing my mind. But I was sure any girl who met such a handsome man would spend hours daydreaming about him.
It was unbelievable that he just asked me out. He didn’t come off as creepy, like other men did when they asked me out. Just because I was thin, they thought they could touch me, control me.
But Kieran didn’t do anything like that. He didn’t invade my personal space or try to touch me.
“Hey, what are you thinking about?” My heart nearly leapt out of my chest when I heard Ellis.
“You scared me!” I glared at my best friend as she dropped her purse next to my chair.
“Not my fault you were so lost in thought. What were you thinking about?” Ellis asked again.
“Nothing, just stuff,” I replied.
“Wow, that tells me everything,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
I rolled my eyes. “Nothing important, Ellis. Let it go.”
“Him who?”
“Duh, you know who,” she said.
Realization hit me like a punch to the gut. “No, not him. It’s someone else.”
“Wow, that’s the first time in six years you’ve told me you’re not thinking about that jerk,” she said, her voice a mix of surprise and relief.
“That’s because I’m not.” It wasn’t easy for me to forget about that monster, which was why it surprised me how much Kieran was on my mind.
“That’s great. Are you thinking about your mom?” she asked.
“No, Ellis, I’m not thinking about my mom either,” I said.
“Okay, now I’m stumped. Who or what are you thinking about?” she demanded.
“Why?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Because you thinking is a dangerous thing. The last time you were lost in thought, I had to pull you out of the bathtub you were planning to drown yourself in,” she said.
I winced at the memory of that awful day. If Ellis hadn’t been there to pull me out of the water, I would’ve died, I would’ve never met Kieran, and Ellis would’ve been alone in the world.
That was a selfish and cowardly thing to do; that day was one of the darkest in my life. It was a time when I hit rock bottom.
“Well, I was thinking about Kieran,” I admitted.
“Kieran?”
“Kieran Maslow, the guy who came in yesterday,” I explained.
“You mean that hot guy? Wow, why are you thinking about him?” Ellis asked.
“Because he came in again. He bought two stuffed animals. He left a few minutes before you got here,” I told her.
“Man! Why didn’t you call me? I missed seeing that hot guy,” Ellis complained.
“Well, in that case, what I’m about to tell you will blow your mind,” I said.
“What? What is it?” Ellis leaned in close, too close for comfort. Seeing my discomfort, she gave me an apologetic smile and stepped back. “Tell me.”
“Promise me you won’t lose it,” I said.
“Just spill it,” she insisted.
“Alright.” I took a deep breath. “He asked me out, and I turned him down.” I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for the outburst I knew was coming.
“What?” There it was. “Are you messing with me? Please tell me you didn’t say no to him.”
“I did, I just told you. I told him I was busy and didn’t want to go out with him,” I responded.
“Did you bang your head or something? Why would you do that? You just let a great chance slip by!” she scolded.
“Ellis, you know I don’t date guys,” I countered.
“No, you just choose not to. Happiness shows up at your doorstep, and you turn it away. That’s just foolish, Jenny. How can you expect to have a happy life when you don’t seize these chances?”
Ellis slapped her forehead in exasperation.
“Ellis, stop. You know why I turned him down. I can’t let Kieran into my life. I can’t mess up his life like that,” I defended.
Ellis reached into her purse, pulled out her cell phone, and handed it to me. “Call him, right now and tell him you’ll go out with him.”
“No, and I can’t call him because I don’t have his number.” I handed the phone back to her.
Ellis sighed, her forehead wrinkling in a frown. She was irritated.
“I don’t even know if he’ll show up tomorrow. And even if he does, there’s no guarantee he’ll ask you out again. Guys like him don’t handle rejection well; they take it to heart.”
She smacked her forehead with her hand. “I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone. You always make the wrong choice. Next time, I’m spending my break right here with you.”
“Would you knock it off. It’s not a big deal. I’ve turned down other guys before, what’s one more?” This girl could make a mountain out of a molehill.
“Those guys were creeps; they deserved to be turned down. But Kieran is a good guy. You get one good guy, and you push him away,” she reprimanded.
I took a deep breath. I’d had enough of this.
“Ellis, I’d appreciate it if you’d give me a break. I have much bigger things to worry about than a potential husband, and you know that. So stop it, please.”
Ellis sighed. “I’m sorry. You’re right, Jenny. I just want you to be happy.”
“I can be happy without a guy,” I countered.
“I know, but still. I want to see you happy and married with a couple of adorable kids running around. I want you to have a happily ever after,” she said.
But that’s the thing. I wasn’t meant for a happily ever after. My life wasn’t a fairytale, and it never would be. And if Kieran kept chasing after me…
Then he would find that out too.
