Decisions of Desire 4: Now or Never

“This is awesome, man!”

A smile touched my lips as Walker looked up from the article. Walker Donovan has been a close friend of mine for almost my entire life.

I honestly can’t remember a time when he and his sister, Kelli, weren’t around.

“Thanks,” I said, walking to my desk and picking up a flyer to examine it. “This island club has been a lifelong dream of mine. I can’t believe it’s finally coming true.”

He gave a nod. “Our collaboration will make this epic.”

Walker was the CEO of Donovan Estates. His hotels were located nationwide.

The idea of a paradise club led me to ask for his help in finding a suitable location, and it all happened quickly from there. I remembered our conversation:

The memory brought a smile to my face as I dropped the flyer back onto the desk.

We were having a friends-and-family soft opening. We open to the public a week later, but bookings were full for almost a year in advance.

I felt a rush of nerves. The event fueled my excitement. But the worry that it might not be good enough jangled my nerves.

“When are you flying out?” Walker collapsed into a chair beside my desk.

“Thursday. I’d like to get there a day before the soft opening.”

He nodded. “I’ll get there early on Friday morning. That should give us time to take care of any outstanding issues before people arrive.”

Trying to look cool and casual, I leaned against my desk, crossing my arms. “And everyone RSVP’d?”

Walker smirked, not at all fooled by my general question. “Yes. Everyone will be at the soft opening.”

I nonchalantly nodded and walked around my desk.

“When was the last time you saw her?”

With my fists clenched, I pressed my knuckles against the desk as I looked at him. My relationship with Walker’s sister, Kelli, was unlike any other.

I think I’ve been in love with her since before I even understood what love was.

I’ll never forget the time she shoved me off my bike in fifth grade. It’s only fair to mention that Walker and I had just been throwing water balloons at her and her friends.

After that, my fate was sealed.

One thing about Kelli was that she was incredibly strong and resilient, refusing to let anyone take advantage of her. She was a feisty woman who always spoke her mind and defended herself.

At least, that was true until she married the biggest piece of shit to walk this earth. From the beginning of their relationship, he seemed to have sunk his teeth into her. It was gradual, but eventually she changed.

He’d been slowly killing her spirit from the inside out. It baffled me that she was the only person who didn’t see it. Once she found out her asshole of a husband had been sticking his little dick in anything that moved, her spark faded out completely.

Divorcing that man was the smartest thing she ever did.

“It’s been roughly a year,” I said, hesitating, “give or take.”

As he gazed at me, he rested his ankle on his knee. “That’s a long time for someone you consider a friend.”

“Walker…” I clenched my jaw as I shook my head.

Walker, always the supportive friend, gave my relationship with Kelli the space it needed. While he’d offer his opinion now and then, he usually remained neutral.

Apparently, this wasn’t one of those times.

“She needed you.”

I huffed. “She made her feelings about us perfectly clear the last time we spoke.”

He shook his head in disagreement. “I’m not talking about that. She needed the support of her friend. She needed someone she knew would always be there for her, no questions asked. The person who made her feel safest. Your pride prevented you from helping her when she needed you most.”

I exhaled, briefly closing my eyes. He was right, of course. I saw her suffering, yet I did nothing.

I may not have cheated on her, but I’m no better than her ex-husband. I failed her, too.

“I know. Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” Walker approached, clapping me on the shoulder before heading for the door. “You’re going to have to man up if you want her back.”

I scoffed and asked, “Who said I want her back?”

Not that I ever truly had her to begin with.

He just turned his head and gave me that cocky Walker smile. The one that women fell to their knees for, and I usually just wanted to punch him in the face.

With a chuckle, he left.

Shaking my head, I watched him depart. A little anxiety stirred as I glanced at the marketing materials on my desk.

I’ve never been so sure and terrified of something in my entire life.

Well, I suppose that’s not entirely true.

My dark hair was in a bun as I stood there, hands on hips, staring at the empty suitcase. This vacation was my first since getting divorced.

Hunter and I rarely vacationed while we were married. I was always busy working on my latest film. He was always busy working on his latest conquest.

Hunter isn’t entirely responsible for our shitty marriage. I was partly at fault for its breakdown. There was more I could have done to save it.

I could have made more time for us. Perhaps I could have pretended not to notice him when he was with one of my actresses or models. I could have believed his bullshit excuses about why they were photographed together.

Honestly, we should have waited longer before getting married. Hunter and I are two completely different people.

Had we waited, that would have surfaced, and he likely wouldn’t have asked. In return, I never would have said yes.

Because of who we were, the divorce became a messy, highly publicized affair.

The entire process was already emotional and stressful. The situation was made much worse by media coverage and comments from people I didn’t even know. People who had no right to voice their opinions about someone they had never met.

I disregarded everything everyone was saying, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t listening.

In the end, escape was what we both wanted. So, it was quick and amicable.

“You haven’t packed yet!” Harper, my sister-in-law and screenwriter, pulled me back to the present.

Harper planned everything meticulously. Knowing her, she had probably spent the last couple of weeks gathering clothes and other things to take on the trip.

“The dresser is covered in clothes, and I’ve packed up what I need from the bathroom. I just need to move everything to the suitcase.”

Harper approached the pile of clothes. “What are these?”

I arched an eyebrow. “Jean shorts.”

“And why are they in the vacation pile?”

I laughed. “Because it’s going to be a million degrees.”

With a headshake, she flung them onto the floor.

“Hey!”

“No jean shorts or baggy shirts,” she declared, heading for my closet. “Look at all these beautiful skirts and tank tops!”

I sighed. “Harper, I haven’t worn those in years.”

“Perhaps it’s time to bring them back.”

I caught the skirt she threw at me. “I’m not comfortable showing this much of my body.”

Harper glanced at me briefly after emerging from the closet, then put her hands on my shoulders. “Hunter’s infidelity had nothing to do with your appearance. His cheating was because of his jealousy. He envied your success and the attention you got. If he really loved you, he would have been supportive. That’s his problem, not yours.”

While I was skeptical, she had a valid point. It was time to come out of hiding.

It was time to bring back the old Kelli.

“Have you spoken to him recently?”

I peeked at Harper from under my eyelashes while packing my clothes. “Who?”

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she crossed her arms. Her “give me a break” look made me smile involuntarily.

Since we never usually talked about Hunter, I knew she meant Ben.

“No,” I said, clearing my throat, “not since the movie premiere.”

Her mouth dropped open. “That was over a year ago!”

I shrugged it off. “We both lead busy lives.”

I could tell Harper didn’t believe me, but she let it go. Hell, I didn’t even believe me.

Things had gotten intense during our last encounter. I suppressed the memory before it overwhelmed me.

“Does he have a plus one?”

Bless her heart, Harper responded as if it were an ordinary question, not a potentially devastating one.

“Walker didn’t say. I don’t think he’s seeing anyone, though. Not for some time now. You know Ben.”