Cross to Bear Book 2

“Amari is faced with a tough decision: Maximus, Lorcan, or Azriel? It’s not an easy choice, especially as her powers are coming to life, marks are appearing, and secrets are being uncovered. The more she learns about her past and her curse, the more uncertain she becomes about her future among those she calls family...”

The only sound I could hear was the drip of water. With wet hair and leaning against the bathtub, I focused on the faucet. The gloomy sky outside was the only source of light in the bathroom.

My mind drifted back to yesterday. The way everyone looked at me made me feel guilty. But was it really so wrong to keep that secret to myself?

I felt like they were judging me, calling me a coward. But that wasn’t my intention. I just didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. So why was it so wrong to keep it from them?

When I finally told them the truth, they all left. Their faces were filled with confusion, anger, sadness, pain—all the wrong emotions.

Azriel was the last one to leave, but not before he turned his back on me and left me feeling utterly alone.

I sighed and turned around in the bathtub, staring at the white ceiling. What was I supposed to do now? Beg for forgiveness, wait for a solution, or just cry my heart out?

I found it all so frustrating. I needed to toughen up and take control. I wanted to live my life, or at least what was left of it.

I raised my hand and looked at the rune. It glowed softly. Lowering my gaze, I traced my scars. My pale skin was marred with thick red scars, and I cringed just thinking about how I got them.

A knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts. Water still dripped down my arm as I frowned slightly.

“Who’s there?” I asked, my voice sounding rough. I cleared my throat, wondering who it could be.

“Princess, you’ve been in the bathroom for an hour. Are you okay?” Jonathan’s voice came from the other side of the door. I gripped the edge of the bathtub.

“Yes,” I lied. I wasn’t okay, not really. But I had to pretend if I wanted to get out of here. “I’ll be out soon.”

I stood up and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My chocolate-brown hair clung to my body like a second skin. It had grown out; it was time for a haircut.

“This should do,” I muttered, looking at my newly cut hair.

My long brown hair had needed a cut, so I chopped off half of it. Now it fell just below my shoulders. I smiled at my reflection, dusted off the loose hair, and started to clean up.

Once I was done and dressed, I opened the bathroom door, only to find Lilith standing there with a tray in her hands. She gasped.

“What did you do?” Lilith asked, setting the tray down and coming over to me. She turned me around and gasped again. I rolled my eyes at her dramatic reaction.

“You cut your hair, Amari! Why?”

“I was bored with it,” I said, pushing her hands away. I walked over to the bed, grabbed my nightgown, and headed back into the bathroom.

“But why?” Lilith asked again.

“What’s the problem?” I snapped, annoyed. Lilith backed away, clearly taken aback by my irritation. I didn’t mean to be rude, but I wasn’t in the mood for questions.

“Nothing,” Lilith whispered, looking away.

Without another word, I closed the bathroom door and changed into my nightgown. I was exhausted and needed sleep. As I adjusted my nightgown, I heard thunder.

I glanced out the window. A massive storm was rolling in. Perfect sleeping weather, I thought, heading back to the room.

Lilith was sitting by the fireplace when I looked her way. She was holding a warm cup of cocoa.

“I... I brought you something,” Lilith mumbled.

“I’m going to take a nap,” I said, climbing into bed. I knew why Lilith was here. She wanted to ask about the curse.

“You haven’t eaten since yesterday, Amari,” Lilith said.

“I’m not hungry,” I said, closing my eyes.

After a few minutes of silence, I opened my eyes. Lilith was still in the room, but she was quiet. The only sounds were the crackling fire and the storm outside.

I had my back to her, but I could feel her watching me. What was she thinking? I didn’t know. Too tired to care, I drifted off to sleep.

Another clap of thunder sounded close by, and I looked out the window. It was pouring rain.

I watched the lightning outside, feeling a strange sense of unease. As I leaned back against the headboard, I saw a shadow pass by.

I immediately turned my head toward the window. What was that?

With a frown, I shrugged off my unease and decided to dive into a book. Nestled comfortably in bed, I flicked on the bedside lamp and picked up the book I’d left on the nightstand. It was a book about curses that I’d found in Lorcan’s library.

Just last night, we’d all returned home. Everyone, Maximus included, was staying in Lorcan’s palace. But since we’d come back, the only person I’d run into was Lilith.

I flipped open the book to where I’d left off. Pages filled with descriptions of various curses lay before me. But none of them mentioned a curse that could be cast through death.

I found that strange. If such a curse didn’t exist or had never been used before, then how did I end up cursed?

I kept my eyes peeled, hoping to find some clue about my own curse. I saw a shadow move again, this time within the room. I lifted my head, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. Was I just imagining things?

After looking around several times, I realized I was alone. It seemed my lack of sleep was starting to mess with my head.

Deciding it was best to try and get some sleep, I closed the book and put it back on the nightstand. I switched off the light and lay back down. With a sigh, I decided to try and sleep.

Outside, thunder rumbled as I tossed and turned in bed. I was restless. Groaning, I opened my eyes and stared at the blue and gold drapes hanging from the canopy bed.

Was it the rain that was keeping me awake? I closed my eyes slowly and sighed. Then, feeling something cold touch my arm, I snapped my eyes open.

I inhaled sharply, trying to scream, but the figure silenced me.

A black shadow loomed over me. My eyes wide and filled with tears, I stared at the faceless figure. As I tried to move, I felt his icy hand cover my face.

A shiver ran down my spine the longer I stared at it. Was he trying to suffocate me?

I kicked and tried to scream, but it was no use. As I closed my eyes and gathered my strength, I heard the bedroom door slam against the wall.

I struggled as I heard a familiar voice. I opened my eyes and scrambled against the headboard, finally letting out a scream.

Terrified, someone embraced me. I tried to push the person away, but his hold only tightened.

“Calm down, Amari, you’re safe now,” Maximus said, tracing small circles on my back. I sobbed against his chest as the cold sensation left on my face sent shivers down my spine.

From a distance, I heard footsteps.

“AMARI?” Azriel called as I felt him approach. “What did you do?” he asked Maximus.

“Nothing, I just saved her!” Maximus retorted, his voice a low growl.

“Saved her? From what?” Lilith asked, as everyone waited for his response.

“A Daeva,” Maximus whispered, causing me to tense up.

A Daeva was a brutal, beast-like demon controlled by black magic. They were invisible except for their shadows.

They had long claws, superhuman strength, and the ability to teleport. They could attack when someone summoned them and designated a target.

“A Daeva?” Lilith repeated, her brow furrowed. “Impossible.”

“No,” Azriel said as he gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Look,” he said, directing everyone’s attention to my face. Confused, I looked at him.

“What’s on my face?” I asked, my voice shaking.

“A mark. The Daeva’s hand,” Azriel whispered, his brow furrowed. Over his shoulder, I saw Lorcan frowning. He turned and walked out, leaving me bewildered.

“I’ll bring you some tea,” Lilith said as she also left. Panting, I swallowed hard. I hadn’t realized I was clutching Maximus’s pants. Feeling his hand on my back, I looked up.

“You’ll be okay, alright?” Maximus said, offering a comforting smile. I nodded as I sighed. Then, feeling Azriel’s presence, I looked his way.

He seemed lost in thought as he got up and walked toward the balcony. Opening the door, he peered outside.

“Are you okay? Feeling better?” Maximus whispered, his hand gently caressing my face. Taking a deep breath, I nodded. Then, resting my head on his bare chest, I tried to relax.

Something about having him close was soothing. Letting out another sigh, I calmed my body. My eyes started to droop as he kissed my forehead, and I fell asleep in his warm embrace.

“Is she still asleep?” a familiar voice asked as I stirred in bed. I felt something hard but warm next to me. Sleepily, I moved closer and hugged it. I felt at peace sleeping.

“It seems she’s not planning on letting you go, King.”

Frowning, I slowly opened my eyes. The storm had passed, and the sun was shining into my room.

“Good morning, dear,” Lilith said as I frowned at her. She was standing next to the bed as I frowned and saw a body next to me.

Pulling back, I stared in shock. I had my arms wrapped around his waist, and there was a bit of drool on his chest. Eyes wide, I let go and looked at the poor victim of my drooling.

“Maximus?” I was taken aback. He started chuckling as I looked between him and Lilith. Confused, thinking that maybe I was in someone else’s room, I started to panic and looked around.

“This is your bedroom,” Maximus said, smiling at me.

“W-what happened?” I was completely lost.

“Last night, you dozed off in my arms,” Maximus shared.

“And you wouldn’t release the poor guy,” Lilith chimed in, her laughter filling the room. “He was stuck here.”

“I-I’m sorry,” I stammered, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Maximus just smiled at me. He ran his fingers through his hair, sat up, and stretched.

“I’ll leave you ladies to chat,” he said, rising to his feet and walking away. I watched him go, my eyes tracing the sway of his hips, the ripple of muscles on his back. I swallowed hard.

“Eyes front,” Lilith commanded, startling me. “You planning on trailing after him?”

“No!” I protested, my gaze dropping to my hands. I felt her sit next to me, her hand enveloping mine in a comforting squeeze.

“Do you remember what happened last night?” Lilith asked, her voice suddenly serious.

The memory hit me like a punch—the Daeva.

“Stay calm, okay? It’s not normal for something like that to happen, but my brothers are on it.”

“On it?” I echoed, my brow furrowing in confusion.

“Yeah,” Lilith confirmed, rubbing her nose. “A Daeva is a peculiar creature. They haven’t been seen in nearly a hundred years.

“So Lorcan and Azriel found it odd, especially since the palace is supposed to be protected. No demon should be able to get in.”

“Then how?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Lilith rose to her feet and began pacing. I watched her, her black hair swaying with each step.

“I honestly have no idea,” she admitted. “If they broke the barrier, Lorcan should have sensed it. But it was King Maximus who knew you were in danger.”

“I see,” I murmured, looking away.

“I don’t want you worrying about that. Let’s get you dressed and head to breakfast, okay?” Lilith suggested, her smile returning. I returned her smile and began to get out of bed.

“Remind me again, why do I have to wear this?” I asked Lilith as she pulled me down the hallway.

After an hour of debating over my outfit, Lilith finally settled on something provocative. I adjusted the top of the dress, the corset squeezing my breasts. “This is absurd!”

“Quit complaining, darling,” Lilith retorted, shooting me a glare over her shoulder. She fanned herself as she quickened her pace towards the dining room. The guards at the entrance greeted us as we arrived.

As the doors swung open, I let go of Lilith and tried to adjust my uncomfortable clothes. I was dressed in a long green skirt, a white top, and a brown corset cinching my waist.

Muttering under my breath, I tugged the corset up. Then, without looking, I walked over and pulled out a chair. I was so focused on my task that I didn’t notice the room had gone silent.

“You cut your hair?” someone asked.

“Yeah,” I mumbled, still wrestling with the corset. “Damn this thing!”

“You might as well take it off,” the same voice suggested.

“Sure,” I agreed absentmindedly, too distracted to pay much attention. Standing up, I loosened the corset strings and felt the pressure around my chest ease.

Sighing in relief, I finally looked up and found everyone staring at me, their eyes wide and mouths agape. “What?”

I glanced around the room, my gaze landing on Alastair’s smirking face. I frowned, my eyes darting from one shocked face to another until they landed on Lilith.

“Why are you staring at me?” I asked her, my frown deepening. I took a seat, picked up my cup of tea, and began to sip. The room remained silent as we ate our breakfast.

Once I was full, I excused myself and stood up.

“Where are you going?” Lorcan asked.

Everyone had been acting strange, treating me differently.

“Out for a walk,” I replied, meeting his gaze. His gray eyes were intense. I knew he was upset about the secret I’d kept from him, but I wasn’t about to beg for their forgiveness.

“No,” Lorcan said, resting his chin on his hands, “you should stay inside.”

“No,” I shot back.

“Amari!” Lorcan hissed. What was his problem?

“Let her go,” Maximus interjected. Lorcan shot him a furious glare.

“No, not when a Daiva might be lurking,” Lorcan argued, standing so abruptly his chair scraped against the marble floor. “She stays inside, and that’s final.”

“Lorcan!” I protested, my hands balling into fists. “I’m going for a walk. Nothing will happen.”

“You can’t be sure!” Lorcan retorted. I scoffed, turned on my heel, and stormed out of the room. “COME BACK HERE!”

I stomped down the hall, my heart pounding. Why was he so angry? Nothing would happen if I went for a walk. Daevas only attacked at night.

“Amari, I told you to stop!” Lorcan shouted, grabbing my arm. I yanked my arm away, my nails digging into his skin in my anger.

“Let go, Lorcan!” I snapped.

“Amari, you’re being so immature!” Lorcan’s voice was a harsh whisper, his fingers digging into my arm. “Quit acting like a damn kid! Can’t you see you’re just stirring up trouble?”

I stared at him, my teeth clenched. Then, with a swift movement, I slapped him across the face, my breath coming in short gasps.

“Maybe I am immature, but at least I care about myself! That’s why I never wanted to share my problems with you or anyone else. You all just see me as a nuisance!” I shot back at him.

Lorcan turned his face away, his hand cradling his reddened cheek.

“You don’t need to worry about me! Just leave me alone!”

“Enough!” A voice, filled with anger, cut through the tension. I jerked my head up, looking past Lorcan. Lilith was glaring at me, her eyes blazing. “We’re just trying to keep you safe, Amari! Can’t you see that?”

I stared back at them, panting heavily.

“I’ve never needed anyone to protect me or keep me safe. I’ve always fought my own battles, alone. And just because I shared my secret with you doesn’t mean I need your help.

“I had everything under control,” I said, meeting their icy stares. Their cold looks only fueled my anger. “Just leave me alone.”

I turned on my heel and started to walk away.

“Under control?” Lorcan’s voice was barely audible. I paused, glancing over my shoulder. “Is dying your idea of having things under control?”

“Believe it or not, for me it is,” I muttered. “You’ll never understand.”

“Maybe I won’t understand, but that’s not a solution. Don’t you want to live?” Lorcan asked.

His question made me flinch. I turned back to see Alastair standing off to the side. My gaze swept the room, finally landing on Maximus, still seated at the dining table.

“Answer me, Amari!” Lorcan’s voice was a growl. I looked away.

“I often ask myself the same question,” I whispered, “but don’t worry.”

“What?” Lilith sounded confused.

“I said don’t worry,” I repeated.

“Why?” Lilith asked, moving closer.

“I’m leaving,” I said quietly. Lorcan’s eyes widened, panic flashing across his face.

“Leaving?” Lorcan’s voice was a whisper. I nodded, keeping my gaze steady on him. He reached out to me, but I stepped back.

He bit his lip, looking down at the floor. His hair fell forward, hiding his face. “Where will you go?”

“I’m going back with Maximus,” I said, my eyes shifting to Maximus, who stiffened at my words.

“What did you say?” Lorcan’s voice was a hiss as I kept my gaze on Maximus.

“I said I’m going back with Maximus. I’m going back with him,” I repeated. Suddenly, Lorcan’s hands were on my shoulders, shaking me.

“You can’t go!” Lorcan’s voice was a snarl. His fingers dug into my skin.

“Stop it!” I pushed him away. “You’re hurting me, Lorcan!”

“Brother, stop it!” Lilith’s voice was filled with worry as she grabbed his shoulders. “Brother!”

A figure stepped between us, grabbing Lorcan’s arm to stop him.

“Lorcan!” Maximus’s voice was firm, causing Lorcan to hiss. His teeth lengthened as he pushed against Maximus.

“If that’s what you want, then fine, leave,” Lorcan spat, “but don’t come running back to me.”

He gave Maximus one last look before turning and leaving. I wrapped my arms around myself, the pain from Lorcan’s grip still lingering. Lilith gave me an apologetic look before excusing herself, leaving Maximus and me alone.

“Let me see,” Maximus said, examining my arms. The red marks from Lorcan’s grip were starting to show.

“I’m fine,” I mumbled. Maximus gently lifted my chin, his red eyes meeting my blue ones. He didn’t say anything.

“Were you serious?” Maximus asked after a moment of silence. I could see hope in his eyes as he waited for my answer.

It might have been a terrible mistake, but I knew I would feel better once I was away from there. And it would be easier to disappear once I was at his place.

“Yes,” I whispered, “I want to go back.”