Falling Again for the Single Dad
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Juliette Hyland
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14
PROLOGUE
ELI COLLINS PULLED at the collar of his tux and tried to relax as he walked toward his dad’s study. The Collins Research Group Fundraiser was always a stressful event. At least this time, he’d finally brought Amara with him. For the first time in forever, he didn’t feel like he was completely living in his dad’s long shadow.
Despite the hectic schedules of his last year in medical school, and Amara finishing her nursing degree, they’d been almost inseparable. Amara made Eli believe he could be Dr. Eli Collins, not just the son of Dr. Marshall Collins. He could be as good as his dad. Better!
Eli had even spent last weekend looking at engagement rings. He’d agonized over the rings, waffling between two, unable to pick which one was best. After Eli spent an inordinate amount of time staring at each, the polite salesman had finally suggested he consider his options a bit longer. His younger brother, Sam, had goaded him all afternoon, enjoying Eli’s indecision—something he couldn’t quite seem to kick these days.
Though it wasn’t Amara or marriage Eli was questioning. His professional goals had changed. No, altered. He was still going to be a doctor. Just not a surgeon—like his dad.
Eli pushed away the prick of anxiety at the base of his spine. He’d made his choice...he had. But Eli still hadn’t found the right words to tell his dad.
His main objective hadn’t changed: be the best doctor. But he doubted his dad would understand his choice of emergency room medicine when Eli had been groomed to join his dad in surgery. He wasn’t questioning his decision—he wasn’t.
And now his waffling was spilling over into other things. Eli wanted to marry Amara, wanted her to stand beside him and wanted to wake up with her in his arms each morning. Picking out an engagement ring and planning a proposal were supposed to be the easy part.
He’d never considered marriage before he’d met Amara Patel. His parents hadn’t set the best example. Marshall was rarely present, and Eli’s mother never seemed content. But that wouldn’t happen to him and Amara. They loved each other too much. She knew his hopes and dreams, and Amara would cheer him on as he became the best emergency doctor in the city. And he’d never treat her as an afterthought.
The door to his dad’s study flew open, and his mother wiped a tear from her cheek before offering her son a watery smile. “He’s busy, Eli.”
Dr. Marshall Collins was always busy. His dad was one of the top heart surgeons in the US and a genius inventor of medical devices.
The Collins Valve had drastically decreased the mortality rate of transplant patients waiting for a heart. Dr. Marshall Collins had one of the highest success rates of any transplant surgeon in the country. His dad’s reputation was ridiculously impressive, and living up to it seemed almost impossible.
“What’s wrong with Mom?” Eli asked as he entered the study. He made sure to get the question out before his dad could tell him what he wanted. Once Marshall started a conversation, he rarely let anyone get a word in.
Marshall’s brows knit as he looked up. “Your mother?”
Eli sighed. “She was crying when she left.”
How could he not notice that?
If Amara had been crying, Eli would be chasing after her—not sitting behind his desk casually reading emails.
Rubbing his chin, his dad shrugged. “Your mother wanted to go on vacation at the end of the month. Greece, or maybe Jamaica?”
“Those are two very different locations.” Marshall really didn’t know where his mom wanted to go.
His dad’s eyes narrowed slightly at the small criticism. “I wasn’t involved in the planning, and the location is irrelevant anyway. I can’t go. I have four patients that could get a heart at any time. I told her to take one of her girlfriends.”
His dad always had patients that might get a lifesaving gift at any moment. It was his excuse for missed track meets, choir concerts and all of the other activities Eli and his brother Sam were involved in. Though he’d made sure to be at Eli’s senior awards ceremony when he was honored as the class valedictorian. He’d even slapped Eli on the shoulder and told everyone that Eli might be better than him one day. That memory had carried Eli through the long stretches where his dad barely seemed to notice him.
But his mother mattered too. And she deserved a vacation with her husband. “Couldn’t your partner handle it?” If Eli could unask the question, he would.
The patient came first. That was a rule every Collins family member understood.
“Your mother knows I love her.”
“You love her?” The question slipped into the room, and Eli was surprised by the tenderness that hovered in his dad’s eyes. But it disappeared almost immediately.
“Of course.” His dad’s gaze slipped to the picture of his wife on the corner of his desk. “You can be a great doctor, Eli, or a wonderful spouse. Not both. Something always suffers.” His father’s eyes met Eli’s. “And you will be extraordinary one day.”
The rare compliment tripped along Eli’s skin. He and Sam craved these moments. The smallest acknowledgments that their dad saw them—really saw them and their potential.
Eli stood just a hair taller as he asked, “What did you want?”
“Ms. Patel and I had a disagreement. She stormed off, very unbecoming.” Marshall shook his head as he typed something on his computer screen. “You know how important what I do is. Make her understand.”
Eli listened as his dad dictated the rest of his instructions. The Collins Research Group Fundraiser was a black-tie event designed to highlight the company’s research and raise obscene amounts of money for a good cause. It was also his dad’s evening to shine. The family always acquiesced to Marshall’s demands for the night.
Always...
He’d tried to prepare Amara for what to expect, as the Collins family could be overwhelming—even for those raised in it. But tonight’s festivities needed to be perfect—then he’d be able to tell his dad about his change of medical specialty. Surely Amara would be able to put aside any arguments for one night—to make Eli’s life easier.
As he opened the door to her suite, Eli saw Amara brush a tear away before she looked at him. Her small bag was sitting on the bed, and he tried to silence the alarm clanging in his brain. “Amara—”
“Did you tell your dad that you plan to go into emergency medicine?” she interrupted.
“What?” Eli blinked. He’d prepped his response for a complaint about his dad. His tongue was thick, and no other words materialized as she raised a delicate eyebrow.
“Did you tell Marshall your plans?” Amara repeated.
“Not yet. It will be easier after the fundraiser,” Eli muttered. Tear-filled eyes met his, and Eli hated the reminder of his mother.
“Will it? Because he got you into the surgical residency program at Chicago Memorial Hospital.” Amara raised her chin, but he saw her lip wobble.
“That’s not possible. I didn’t apply for any surgical residencies.” Eli shook his head. Chicago Memorial was one of the top surgical residency programs in the country.
“I suspect most anything is possible for Dr. Marshall Collins,” Amara countered.
“Maybe.” Eli rubbed the back of his head.
“Are you going to take it?” Amara’s question was barely audible.
His throat tightened. Chicago Memorial was the chance of a lifetime. “Maybe.” The whispered word floated between them, and Eli’s stomach dropped as Amara’s lip trembled—again. “Chicago Memorial...”
Her dark eyes held his, and a touch of cold swept across him at the despair he saw. Holding out his hands, Eli stepped toward her. She pulled back, and his feet faltered.
What was going on?
“Eli, you have to live your life, not his. You don’t have to follow the script Marshall has planned for you.” Amara hugged herself as her eyes pleaded with him. “Emergency medicine...”
“Is not surgery,” Eli bit out, hating the defensive tone in his voice. “I’m the son of Dr. Marshall Collins. I have to live up to that.”
“How?” Amara challenged.
Eli shrugged, trying to ignore the tightening in his stomach. Why was she asking this?
And why was her bag sitting on the bed?
“By making the US News & Reports annual Best Hospitals and Physicians list, like Dad.” His dad had made the list for the last five years, and given Eli and Sam framed copies for inspiration.
“Your dad sleeps at the hospital a few times a week, even when he’s not on shift,” Amara argued. “He snapped at me for asking if he might be free to have lunch!”
“It’s the week of the fundraiser,” Eli told her. He knew Marshall slept only a few hours in the lead-up to the event and often ate in his office.
“And the last time I checked, he is still human, Eli. So, he must consume food,” Amara bit out. “Are you going to work like that? Be that consumed by the hospital?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
And then his dad would accept him.
Eli’s heart burned as that thought tore through him.
“At what cost?” Amara’s teeth bit her bottom lip.
Eli felt like he was failing a test. “Meaning?”
“Are you willing to give up your dreams of working in the ER to be the best surgeon? Are you willing to give up my dreams?”
He watched another tear slip down Amara’s cheek, but she didn’t wipe this one away. That terrified him more than the lone bag on the bed, but Eli wasn’t sure why. “You can come to Chicago with me. I want you to come.”
Need you to...
“My father chases success too, and my mother stands by him through every crazy business venture, exciting opportunity and each new goal.”
“Because she loves him.” Eli stated.
Like you love me.
“That’s what love is. Supporting each other.”
Amara scoffed. “Really, Eli? I’ve listened to her cry herself to sleep. Where is her support? Or your mother’s support? She’s spent a year planning a vacation with your father. It’s their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary, and she believes he won’t come. Our mothers are part of the perfect picture of our fathers’ accomplishments. They’re both loving wives, but behind the perfection, they’re sleeping in lonely beds.”
“My dad saves so many lives.” Eli hated his mother’s distress, but his dad was right. Their calling had to come first. Amara would understand that. He’d held her after good and bad days during her clinicals. She knew what they did was important—the most important thing. “You’re going to be a nurse—” His voice cut off as she reached for her bag.
Eli’s mouth was dry as he asked, “What are you doing?”
“Going home.” Her voice cracked as she laid a hand on his chest. “I’m not what you need.”
“You are.” He wanted to say more, but the words were trapped in his throat. His breath was ragged as he ran a finger along her cheek. “Stay, please.”
“I love you, and I know you see medicine as your calling. But I won’t play the role our mothers play for our fathers, showing up to fundraisers or supporting the next big move, the next prestigious business or hospital. I won’t pretend everything is fine while inside I’m dying of loneliness. Eli, you want to be the best doctor...” Amara paused, shrugged and added, “Or surgeon, I guess.”
“And I will be, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t belong together,” Eli pleaded. His soul was shaking as he tried to think of the right words to make her understand.
“I know what I want, Eli, and it has nothing to do with accolades and ratings. I want to be a nurse, but also a partner, a wife, a mother. And I want a man who will sleep beside me each night, raise our children, plan vacations and take them—with me. The patients are important, but so is family. Are you willing to put your family first, even if that means I may be the only one who calls you the best?”
He wanted to say yes. Eli’s heart was begging him to scream it, get down on one knee, promise her all those things. But his brain refused to utter the word. Amara was right. He wasn’t sure he could promise her that life, not if he wanted to be great—just like his dad. Her lips touched his, and the fire they always brought ripped through him. His soul cried out for her, but he let her walk past him.
Eli loved Amara, but his dad loved his mother too. Love wasn’t enough to stop the hurt, and Eli refused to spend a lifetime hurting Amara. “I love you,” Eli uttered the words, wishing they were enough.
He heard a soft sob as Amara pulled open the door, and he barely managed to keep his knees from hitting the floor.
“Goodbye, Eli.”
Amara’s last words tore through him, but Eli didn’t let himself break. There was the fundraiser to get through, then he could spend the rest of the night mourning what he’d lost.
Spend the rest of his life trying to put the pieces back together.
