The Soldier's Secret Son
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Helen Lacey
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Chapter One
Jake Culhane reined in the tall paint gelding he’d been riding for the past two hours and headed for the corral. It had been years since he’d spent so long in the saddle, and his muscles, he was sure, would pay the price later.
It was a chilly afternoon, typical of Cedar River in winter. After living in Sacramento for the last few years, he’d forgotten how cold a South Dakota winter could be. He dismounted by the stables and hitched the horse to the rail, signaling for one of the young ranch hands to take the gelding in the stall.
A few minutes later, Jake headed for the house.
It still felt strange being back. The house, the ranch—all of it held few good memories for him. It was why he’d left at eighteen and joined the army. The truth was, he’d never been much of a cowboy, and the Triple C, one of the largest ranches in the county, needed someone at the helm who had a way with horses and loved the earth and the ranching life. Which wasn’t him. The ranch was usually in the safe hands of his elder brother, Mitch. But since Mitch had been seriously injured in an accident several weeks earlier, Jake had stepped up and taken over some of the work around the ranch while his brother recuperated.
Jake circled the house and strode through the back door, wiping his boots on the mat in the mudroom before he made his way into the kitchen. Mrs. Bailey, the housekeeper who’d been on the ranch for close to fifteen years, was working behind the countertop and smiled when he entered the room.
He was just about to snatch a muffin from the plate on the counter when his sister-in-law, Tess, walked into the kitchen from the other door. Despite some initial misgivings about Tess being back at the ranch and his instinctive need to protect his brother, Jake liked her, and was happy that she and Mitch had worked through their relationship troubles and were now back together. Particularly since they had a baby on the way, due to arrive in a couple of months’ time.
“Where’s the patient?” he asked and half grinned.
Tess smiled. “Living room. And he’s grumpy.”
“Situation normal then,” Jake replied and grabbed the plate Mrs. Bailey held out toward him, piled with a few muffins. “I’ll see if this will help.”
Jake left the room and walked down the hall, taking a left turn into the front living room.
He spotted his brother by the window, settled in a wheelchair, his broken leg in plaster.
Mitch was two years older, but they had always been good friends as well as brothers. Jake knew the whole family felt grateful Mitch was now recovering from his injuries. It had been a fraught week right after the accident. His younger brother Hank, who was the chief of police in Cedar River, had called him and told him to come home, clearly concerned that Mitch might not make it. Thankfully, his brother had pulled through and was going to make a complete recovery. But it would take some time for him to get back onto his feet. A broken leg, two cracked ribs, countless abrasions and a concussion had almost ended his brother’s life. But things were better now. Mitch was back home. He and Tess had reconciled. They were having a baby together. It was a nice happily-ever-after that Jake knew his older brother deserved.
Their own mother had died years ago and their father, Billie-Jack, had bailed. At just eighteen, Mitch had taken custody of sixteen-year-old Jake and the younger kids—fourteen-year-old twins Joss and Hank, twelve-year-old Grant and eight-year-old Ellie. He’d kept them all together and out of family services, something Jake was eternally grateful for. He also knew the sacrifices Mitch had made to keep them together as a family.
“Hey,” he said, and placed the plate on the coffee table. “I hear you’re in a bad mood.”
Mitch turned his head and scowled. “My wife has been telling tales, I see.”
Although Tess wasn’t technically Mitch’s wife yet, their wedding was set to take place in the next couple of weeks, and he figured that since his brother and sister-in-law had played loop-de-loop to get their relationship back on track, they could call each other whatever they wanted.
Jake grinned. “Anything I can do?”
Mitch harrumphed. “Get me out of this damned chair and fix my leg so I can get back to work.”
“I would if I could,” Jake replied and sat down opposite his brother. “But doctor’s orders and all that. You need to rest up and heal...no quick fix for that, I’m afraid.”
Mitch grumbled under his breath, “Doctors don’t know everything.”
“Sure they do,” Jake said and grabbed a muffin. “You nearly died, remember?”
“I don’t need reminding.”
“I think you do,” Jake said easily. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be such a lousy patient.”
His brother grumbled some more, then turned his attention to business. “How’s the ranch?”
“Running like clockwork. You’ve got good people here looking after things. Wes knows what he’s doing.” Wes Collins had been the foreman at the Triple C for a few years and ran a hardworking crew of ranch hands. “And Tess and Ellie are keeping on top of things. All you need to do is rest and recover.”
Mitch sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. “I know...but it’s not easy. And thanks, you know, for staying on and watching over things.”
Jake shrugged. “Family first.”
“You still moving out today?” Mitch asked and grabbed a muffin.
Jake had been staying at the ranch for the past couple of weeks, but since Mitch was now home and thankfully on the mend, he knew he needed to move and give the soon-to-be-newlyweds some space. Not too far—just into the hotel in town. “That’s the plan.”
“You don’t have to stay at O’Sullivan’s,” Mitch said quietly. “This is still your home.”
“I know,” he replied. “But you and Tess need time alone, and I’m not used to being a third wheel.”
Mitch laughed. “You’re hardly that. And Tess likes having you here as much as I do. Plus, you’ve always been Mrs. Bailey’s favorite.”
“That’s true,” he said and laughed. “Just don’t tell Joss.”
“He thinks he’s everyone’s favorite,” Mitch said of their younger sibling. Joss owned an auto repair shop in town and was raising his two young daughters alone, as his wife had died many years earlier. “But then, every family has that one standout charmer.”
Jake laughed, because Joss was actually considered charming—and quite the town flirt. Whereas Mitch was the patriarchal pillar of strength, Chief of Police Hank was the pillar of the community, twenty-eight-year old Grant was the computer geek and twenty-four-year old Ellie was the baby of the family. And Jake was...what? The bad boy. The war hero. The one who’d left. While the rest of his family had stayed in Cedar River and remained together, stayed close, Jake had served two tours in the middle east, moved to California when he retired from the army and begun a business partnership with Trent, a fellow sergeant, working with some of the top tech companies in the state and quickly creating a highly successful security firm.
He been back to Cedar River twice in the last decade. Once for Mitch’s first wedding to Tess, and the second time to attend Tom Perkins’s funeral. Jake had avoided the town for over six years. Since Tom’s death. Since he’d slept with his best friend’s widow.
Abby...
His high school girlfriend. Then his ex-girlfriend. Who became his friend’s wife.
Shame and guilt pressed down between his shoulders with razor-sharp precision.
“Why O’Sullivan’s?” Mitch persisted.
Jake shrugged. “It’s the best. And I’ve become used to creature comforts these past few years.”
He knew his brother didn’t believe him. “I told you that Abby’s working at the restaurant there, didn’t I?”
Jake stilled, wondering if Mitch could read his thoughts. Yes, his brother had told him she worked there. He also knew he couldn’t avoid her forever. And really, he didn’t want to. Which was why he figured he might as well move into the hotel for a while and let fate play its hand. Once, long ago, they’d been friends, and they had both cared about Tom...it was enough of a connection for Jake to want things between them to at least be civil.
“So you said.”
“She’s an amazing chef,” Mitch remarked and bit into a muffin. “I thought she might have left town when Tom’s parents moved to Oregon, but she stayed. I guess she wanted to be close to her grandmother.”
“I guess,” Jake said vaguely. Jake had always liked Mr. and Mrs. Perkins. They were good people and clearly great parents. Jake had spent many nights under their roof after one of his many confrontations with his own father. It was difficult now to think about Tom’s grieving parents, about how hard it must have been for them to cope with remaining in the town after they’d lost their only son. He wasn’t really surprised they’d moved to Oregon, since their daughter had been living there for many years.
“Abby’s got a kid,” Mitch said casually. “He’s a couple of grades behind Joss’s youngest.”
Jake had heard Abby had a child. He also knew that she’d remained in Cedar River.
“I’m glad she’s happy,” Jake said quietly.
Mitch’s brows shot up. “I didn’t actually say that. Are you still pissed at her for marrying your best friend?”
Jake sucked in a breath. “Abby and I were over long before she married Tom. Whatever we were to one another is well in the past. It’s just...history.”
“History has a way of repeating itself,” Mitch reminded him. “Take it from me... I never would have imagined that Tess and I would be back together. Let alone be about to have a baby.”
“You still loved Tess. And she loved you. That’s why you’re back together. I’m happy for you both...if anyone deserves it, it’s you.”
“And you?”
Jake shrugged. “Who knows.”
“No girlfriend back in Sacramento?”
He shook his head. “No one serious.”
The truth was, Jake had spent the last decade without forming one committed relationship. While he was in the military, it had been too hard to maintain something long-distance. And afterward, he hadn’t found the time to settle into a relationship. He’d dated several women in the last couple of years, but none seriously. At least, he’d usually broken things off before they became serious. He didn’t lie. He didn’t cheat. He didn’t ever set out to hurt a woman’s feelings. He wasn’t that guy. He’d simply never felt a connection deep enough with anyone to make it anything significant. The only woman he’d ever loved was Abby...and those feelings had faded long ago.
Maybe he just wasn’t a settle-down kind of guy.
“You plan on staying in town a while longer?” Mitch asked.
Jake nodded. “Sure. Maybe another couple of weeks or so.”
“I hoped you might hang around until after Christmas,” his brother said and shrugged lightly. “I mean, I know you’ve got a business to get back to, but it’s been so good to have you back here. I’ve missed you.”
A familiar guilt wound its way through his blood. Jake knew that Mitch knew he’d never felt at home in Cedar River. And he knew why. His memories were tainted by the last few years he’d spent living on the ranch—by their mother’s death, by Billie-Jack’s drunken rages, by the car accident that had nearly killed Hank when his brother was fourteen—an accident that had been caused by their father. And by his typically angsty teenage relationship with Abby. By the time he was eighteen, Jake had been desperate to get away from Cedar River and everything it stood for.
Until now.
Abby Perkins ditched the apron she’d been wearing all afternoon, tossed her chef’s hat in the laundry tub and made her way out of the kitchen. Her cell beeped in her pocket, and she quickly extracted the phone to check the screen. Her grandmother’s text was brief, and she nodded to herself as she headed through to the staff room and opened her locker.
The picture tacked onto the back of the door made her smile. T.J.’s cheeky and infectious grin always put her in a good mood. Even when he was being bad-tempered and defiant, she adored her son and could not imagine a world without him in it. At not yet six years old, he could be a handful, but she was determined not to dampen his spirit and creativity.
Abby pulled on her jacket and tugged the band from her brown hair, hurled it into her locker and grabbed her bag before she shut the door. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror by the door and grimaced when she noticed how tired she appeared. It had been a long week. The sous chef had quit...again. And two of the waitresses had called in sick. Which meant everyone else was working longer or extra shifts. But Abby loved her job. Being head chef at O’Sullivan’s meant she could live with her son in the town she had been born and raised in.
Cedar River, South Dakota, population three thousand and something, sat in the shadow of the Black Hills. Once, it had been a vibrant copper-and silver-mining community. The mines were all closed now, except for a couple that were part of the growing tourist industry. Tourists came through Cedar River on the way to Nebraska and to stay at one of the many dude ranches popping up, or at the luxurious O’Sullivan Hotel. The place was considered one of the best around, and Abby was proud to be a part of that success.
She’d worked at the hotel for a few years. After graduation, she’d scored a position as an apprentice chef at a small restaurant in Rapid City and a year later headed to Paris to study French cuisine for eighteen months. By then, she was already engaged to Tom Perkins, and he had happily accompanied her to Paris. They had spent an idyllic year and a half together in the city—studying, dreaming, seeing the sights. Abby flourished under the guidance of one of the most talented chefs in the city, and Tom had the opportunity to pursue his love of art and music.
When they returned to Cedar River, Abby began working part-time at one of the best restaurants in Rapid City, commuting back to town on the weekends while Tom took a position at the local hardware store. They made wedding plans and bought a house and settled into their life together, marrying two days after her twenty-first birthday.
Four years later, Tom passed away.
Seven months after that, T.J. was born.
And Abby had to make a life for herself and her son.
She’d considered leaving Cedar River many times...to start fresh, to avoid questions and pity and maybe speculation. But her grandmother loved the small town, and other than T.J., she was the only family Abby had to rely on. She supposed she could have moved to Florida to be close to her mother. But her mom had remarried and had her own life, and although she loved her mom and her stepfather was a nice man, Abby had very little in common with her only surviving parent.
So, she stayed in Cedar River.
And waited.
Always on edge. Never truly relaxed. Always wondering, always thinking, always knowing that someday, she would have to face the consequences of that one reckless and unforgettable afternoon.
And it was going to happen soon. She was sure of it.
Because Jake Culhane was back.
Just thinking about him made her insides quake.
She hadn’t seen him since two days after Tom’s funeral. Which suited her just fine. She didn’t want to see Jake. But she knew it was inevitable. Cedar River was a small town. At some point, their paths would cross. He’d been back a few weeks, since his brother’s accident, and Abby had deliberately kept a low profile, avoiding her usual routine, coming and going from work as discreetly as she could. She’d tried to stay away from the supermarket, the bank, the bakery—anywhere she thought he might show up. But of course, she still had to live her life, still had erands to run and things she had to do. She couldn’t hide forever.
Thankfully, none of the Culhanes regularly frequented the hotel eateries, as neither family liked the other very much. It wasn’t exactly a feud, but since the O’Sullivan and Culhane brothers had gone to the same high school, there was enough testosterone between them to cause a rift that was mainly borne out of a leftover football rivalry.
Abby headed for the staff parking area and within minutes was in her sedan driving from the hotel. She thought about dismissing her grandmother’s text message and then changed her mind. T.J. wanted pizza for dinner, and since it was Friday night, she relented and drove directly to JoJo’s Pizza Parlor. She scored a parking space outside and switched off the ignition. As always, the restaurant was busy, and she wished she’d called beforehand and placed her order.
Once she was inside, Abby walked toward the counter and waited behind a young couple placing a large order. She looked around, noticing how crowded the restaurant was. All the booth seats were occupied and most of the tables. A couple of women were sitting at the bar, and a few people were seated in the takeout area, clearly waiting for their orders. She fiddled with her car keys as she waited and scanned the restaurant again, catching a glimpse of a group in one of the booths. Four men. All tall and broad shouldered. She recognized the chief of police, Hank Culhane, immediately. And his twin, Joss. The two other men were darker haired. And then dread crawled over her skin when she recognized Jake Culhane’s all-too-familiar profile.
His military crew cut was unmissable. His shoulders were exactly as she remembered. His eyes, she knew, were brilliantly green and his jaw strong and uncompromising. He’d always been ridiculously attractive. Since high school. They’d dated for all of senior year, and Abby had been undeniably in love with him. Until he’d broken her heart. Of course, she knew his betrayal wasn’t deliberate. But Jake wanted a military career, and Abby had no intention of being the girlfriend—or the wife—of a soldier. She’d watched her own mother go down that path, and it wasn’t a life she wanted for herself. So, they broke up, Jake left town and Abby started dating Tom Perkins.
And then, as if on cue, his shoulders tightened, and he turned his head a fraction.
Goose bumps broke out over her skin, and she moved closer to the counter when the couple in front moved to the side, ready to give her order. She quickly selected what she wanted from the menu, paid for the pizza, stuffed the receipt in her purse and was about to head toward the waiting area when she heard an all-too-familiar voice behind her.
“Hello, Abby.”
She took a breath, pulled on every ounce of bravado she possessed and turned.
Up close, Jake Culhane was just as gorgeous as she remembered. Six feet two, broad shoulders, the most dazzling green eyes, clean-shaven jaw—he was the perfect picture of masculinity. He was still the most handsome man she’d ever known. The only man who could churn her up inside. The only man who ever made her lose her good sense and reason.
Her ex-boyfriend.
Tom’s best friend.
And the father of her son.
“Oh, hey, Jake,” she said as casually as she could. “I heard you were back. How’s Mitch?”
The whole town knew about the accident that had almost killed his older brother. Thankfully, Mitch had survived, but the event had been serious enough to drag Jake back to the town he hated. She had no idea why he was still hanging around. Jake’s visits had always been a few days here or there at the most. In between his tours in Iraq, he’d rarely returned. Now, as he was retired from the military, she had heard he owned some kind of high-tech security business. Not that she cared. She’d stopped caring about Jake a long time ago. But they had history.
And a son.
A child he didn’t know was his.
To everyone who knew her, T.J. was Tom’s child. Only her grandmother, her mom and her best friend, Renee, knew the truth. Renee lived in Denver, which was where Abby had gone once she’d discovered she was pregnant. She’d needed to clear her head, to grieve for the husband she had lost and work out the next phase in her life. She spent six months with her friend, including the two months after T.J.’s birth. Born nearly seven weeks premature, her son had fought a fierce battle to survive. He’d spent three weeks in the NICU before she could take him home. She returned to Cedar River with a healthy two-month-old baby, and no one questioned his paternity.
Except Tom’s parents.
They knew Tom wasn’t able to get her pregnant. After two years of trying to have a baby, tests had proven that she would need to pursue a sperm donor if they wanted to have a child. They were considering their options when Tom unexpectedly suffered a severe stroke. He pulled through and for three weeks Abby believed everything would be okay—until another stroke claimed his life.
“He’s fine,” she heard Jake say, barely able to hear his voice above the screeching going off in her head. “Getting better every day. How are you?”
It was polite conversation. Too polite. The last time they had spoken, it had been heated and unpleasant. A morning-after conversation. A postmortem of the worst kind. Words she never wanted to hear again.
“Great. Never better. You?”
His eyes narrowed fractionally. “Fine. How’s your grandmother?”
Gran had always called Jake Abby’s quicksand. And she couldn’t disagree. When she was seventeen, she had been achingly in love with him. He had been her first real kiss, her first lover.
My last kiss. My last lover.
Her son’s face flashed in front of her eyes, and she willed the image away. She didn’t want to think about T.J. She didn’t want to make comparisons with the man standing in front of her. She didn’t want to acknowledge that her son’s eyes were exactly the same shade of green, or that they shared an identical birthmark, or that the tiny cleft in his chin was a shadow of the man whose DNA he shared.
Panic clawed at her skin, and she fought every impulse she possessed to run and not look back. And to pretend that nothing was going to change. That Jake would soon leave town and she could feel normal again.
Because it felt different.
Ever since she learned he was back, she’d been on edge. Because she knew what was coming—the truth she needed to tell. To Jake and to her son.
“Gran is her usual wonderful self,” she replied casually, and willed her food order to hurry up so she could make her getaway. “Still volunteering at the local veterans’ home. I hear you left the military?”
“My tour was up,” he replied. “It felt like the right time to hang up the combat boots.”
Abby didn’t want to think about what he’d seen and endured over the course of his tours in Iraq. Her own father had been killed in Desert Storm, and after watching her mother grieve for decades, Abby had been determined she would never get involved with a soldier. Instead, she’d married Tom—safe and dependable—exactly what her young heart had yearned for.
“Well, I’m happy you came back in one piece,” she said flippantly.
“I told you I would.”
His words had pinpoint accuracy. At eighteen, she’d made her feelings very clear. Terrified he would be injured, or worse, Abby had used his joining the army as an excuse to bail from their teenage romance. Jake had also been clear: he needed to enlist—it was all that mattered.
Not her.
Not them.
And Abby wasn’t naive enough to imagine that he’d changed. Jake didn’t have the reputation of a man who hung around. He’d left Cedar River without looking back. He’d left their relationship. And Abby had had every right to forge a new life for herself after he was gone. A life with Tom, because her husband had been a kind and considerate man who had loved her dearly. And he’d stayed by her side, fully supporting her decision to work in Cedar River when she could have had her pick of several of the finest restaurants on the West Coast after returning from Paris.
But Tom knew how important Cedar River was to Abby. Her grandmother had always called it home. Her father and grandfather were buried in the large cemetery at the edge of town. It was a town filled with memory and comfort and the hope for the future. The place where she wanted to raise her son.
But it was also Jake’s hometown.
And now that Jake was back, Abby had choices to make.
Tell him...
Don’t tell him...
Let him work it out for himself.
It wasn’t as though she’d announced to the world that T.J. was Tom’s son. She’d simply never been asked to explain why her child looked nothing like her auburn-haired husband. People made assumptions. And Abby was essentially a private person. Too private to be bandying around the details of her personal life.
But she also liked to think she was a truthful person. She was honest in every other aspect of her life. But not when it came to Jake. And now, since everything was different, the truth hovered on the edge of her tongue.
“Jake—” She said his name almost as though it pained her. “I think we should—”
“He’d want us to be friends, you know,” he said, cutting her off.
He. Tom. Abby knew how much her husband had liked the man in front of her. Tom had never failed to remind her what a great guy Jake was. About how Jake had stood up for him in high school, protected him from schoolyard bullies, because Tom was a small and sickly and quiet. While Jake was the motorcycle-riding bad boy. They were polar opposites...and yet, they had formed a solid friendship, grounded in trust and mutual respect.
But she knew her time was up. Jake would work it out.
Abby just needed to summon the courage to tell him first.
