The Spark

Plum

A few seconds pass, and I decide to hang up. Just as I am about to, I hear the most decadent voice and chuckle that I haven’t heard in a while.

“Mmmmm, ha ha ha. Hi, baby bear.”

I swallow a lump in my throat. It can’t be, I think.

“Hello? Are you there, teddy bear?”

I get seriously nervous; I never expected this. The voice in my head keeps saying, No no no no no! I was having such a good day. My palms get clammy too.

Shit, I don’t need this, not today.

He sighs. “I can hear you breathing, baby bear.”

My voice feels constricted, no sound comes out, and I am literally in shock.

I make up my mind quickly and decide to face the music. I sit up straight. The only way to handle him is to be all business. Yeah, that will work.

“Damien, hey! How are you?”

“Hmmm, I’m much better now that I’m talking to you, my love. Have you been avoiding me, baby?”

His thick accent comes through deliciously. I’ve never had an opportunity to ask where he’s originally from, but one time I heard him speak and googled some of the words I heard come through.

He was speaking Portuguese. I guessed he is from Portugal or Angola. He’s been here in SA ever since.

We met in college through a good friend of mine, and he’s been in my life ever since. How unfortunate.

I give an empty laugh. “Me? Avoiding you? Um…come on. You know how busy I get. It’s wedding season, for heaven’s sake.”

That’s a lie—I have been avoiding him. If you knew what he did to me, then you would understand.

“I totally understand, babe. I would never want to keep you from your important work. Hell, I can barely keep up with the work I have on my table right now.

“However, you have been actively far from my reach for three months now.”

That’s cute—he actually kept count.

“I can’t help but think I was right that morning when you kissed me goodbye and I told you that I can see in your eyes you were running from me again.”

I really don’t know what to say to him. He was right—I was running away from him, yet again.

He continues, saying, “How long are you planning to play these games with me, Plum, huh? You are thirty-two, and I am thirty-five. We’re not getting any younger, baby bear.

“I admit, I fucked up. I hurt you, and I know I should leave you alone—believe me I have tried—but I can’t, baby. How long are you planning on punishing me for my love?”

I melt in my chair, thinking of what happens every time we’re together. He’s awakening my senses. He’s my kryptonite, and he knows it.

I yell, “Damien, stop!”

“—punishing you? That’s not going to work! It’s not like you were pining away for me, hoping and praying to God that I come back. You like acting like you’re the innocent party. I am the fool that believes you.

“Even back in college I heard the stories, fucking everything that walked in college, even when you were in a relationship with what’s-her-name??”

He gives a long sigh, signaling his defeat, and says, “Huh, I just miss you, baby bear, and you know I start to ramble when I do.

“You don’t answer my calls, stand me up on dates, you avoid me every chance you get… you have made me a desperate man, you know that?”

I feel a mini migraine coming along; he’s not lying. I interrupt him, complaining, “Look, Damien. What happened three months ago was a mistake.”

A delicious mistake, I think.

“I was lonely and sad. I told you I needed a friend… You know you took it to another level. You took advantage of the situation.”

He chimes in, “Ah ah ah, I don’t recall you stopping me though, and you had so, so, so many chances…

“When I had you sprawled on my kitchen table, letting me finger fuck you all over it. I still can’t get that image out of my head, babe.

“When I was eating out your pussy, lapping up all your juices. Or when I made love to you on my couch and you came calling out my name.

“And my favorite part, you begging”—he put some emphasis on begging—can you believe this guy?—“me! To put my dick inside you because you couldn’t take the pressure anymore…

“You didn’t stop me, did you? I remember you distinctly saying, ‘Don’t stop, Damien!’”

I sigh, trying not to remember that night and the morning after. But fuck, I feel that tingle—then throbbing—down below.

I won’t lie: his mouth is amazing.

He’s been gifted with a big tongue, and he loves torturing me with it, even though it gets him into trouble when we argue sometimes. He still let me ride it for as long as I could that day.

Time to shut this down—as much as I am tempted not to.

“I’m at work, Damien—what do you want from me?” The last part comes out as a whisper, not meaning to.

“I want you to see you—all of you—baby bear. In a perfect world I would be balls deep in that pussy of yours right now, making you scream my name.

“I know I affect you just like you affect me, even though you enjoy keeping yourself away from me. Come and meet me one last time.

“We can do whatever you want, baby, as long as I am with you…”

I blink rapidly. My breathing starts to be erratic.

I remember my past, remembering what opening up and being vulnerable did to me. No words come out once again.

But I swear this man can read my mind.

“I know I’ve hurt you badly,” he says. “It just seemed like there was never perfect timing for me and you. I don’t claim to be perfect. I told you what I was capable of offering you.

“On the other hand, it feels like you’ve always been mine, and that’s why we keep coming back to each other, no matter what.

“That urge or pull that you keep feeling means something, and I am not willing to let it go.”

“As much as I try to lie to myself, you’re it for me… Always will be. The satisfaction I get from one night with you is so mind-blowing, and it scares me, the hold you have over me.”

I start to calm down—and face my reality.

Me and him can’t happen again, he’s like a mind reader in bed, and when we’re together, I never want to leave.

The next day, like clockwork, he ends up saying something irritating that pisses me off, and then I’m gone like the wind and don’t speak to him for a while.

He will stalk me until he gets mad, then leaves me alone for some time.

Then I get a call like this after a few months. Ain’t this cycle a bitch? Confusing, right?

“Babe?”

“Damien, no, I can’t meet you… And you know why.”

“Mmmmm, okay then.” He laughs dejectedly. “I just had to try. You can’t blame me for that, right?”

I answer him with silence.

“You still don’t get it, baby bear… Bye, my love.” He doesn’t wait for me and hangs up.

Okay, he was different today. He didn’t fight, and he didn’t plead with me as much. Maybe he’s starting to get the message.

It’s a little disconcerting but, it is what it is. I am tired of this back and forth we keep having every few months. I don’t know how much more my heart can take of this.