Hated By My Mate: The Finale

Aurora

“Don’t say that,” I beseeched Eleanor. “I can’t do this without you.”

“No, pup.” She laughed. “I’m not leaving you or going anywhere. What I mean is: before we can go back to training the elements, we must first train you to forgive yourself.”

What?

How was that supposed to work?

I frowned. “I don’t understand. Why do I need to forgive myself?”

“I want you to stop and think for a few minutes. In all this time, you have done so much. Achieved so much. Have you stopped to return some love to yourself?”

Her words got me thinking.

I’d honestly never had the time.

After what Klaus had done to me, I had given no breath to myself. Nothing that would make me stop to consider how I felt.

Losing Montana.

Feeling Wolfgang hurt me again and again.

Sitting in that dungeon, waiting for Klaus to come inflict a world of torture on me, to crush my heart, take me without my consent, and leave me broken.

I’d hated myself.

The realization hit me like a brick, leaving me a little dizzy.

There was so much anger in me, and it wasn’t for anything or anyone outside my immediate world. It was directed at myself.

Eleanor placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's time to let go of that anger, Aurora. You need to forgive yourself for the things you blame yourself for."

I nodded, feeling a heavy weight on my chest. "I don't even know where to start."

Eleanor took my hand and led me to a nearby tree, where we sat down on the soft grass. "Let's start with something simple. What is one thing you're proud of yourself for achieving?"

I thought for a moment before answering. "I'm proud that I stood up to Klaus and killed him. He deserved to die."

Eleanor nodded. "Good, that's a start. Now, tell me something you love about yourself."

I hesitated, struggling to come up with an answer. "I don't know."

Eleanor smiled softly. "That's okay. We'll work on it. But for now, just know that you are worthy of love, especially from yourself."

We spent the rest of the night talking about my feelings and experiences.

Slowly, I began to open up and release some of the pent-up emotions I had been carrying for so long.

Eleanor listened patiently, offering words of encouragement and understanding.

As the sun began to rise, Eleanor stood up and stretched.

“Time for our first exercise for the day, pup.”

I rose, unsure of what she’d have me do.

Suddenly, she lunged at me.

Taken aback, I deflected a series of quick blows she aimed, turning and using my hands any which way I could.

She twisted like the wind, and soon, I was completely out of breath.

“That’s it.” She smiled. “Show me how you can protect yourself.”

And I did. I fought back, tooth for tooth, until at the end, we broke off, panting heavily.

Eleanor suddenly conjured a gust of hot air and aimed it at me. By sheer instinct, I lunged out of the way.

She followed with another, then another.

It was as if the elements were all in her hands, and she could control them at free will. She suddenly turned and disappeared into thin air.

“Eleanor!” I cried out, my breathing labored.

A spray of water came from nowhere and smacked me in the face.

I spluttered and coughed, stumbling back into what felt like a hard block of earth.

“Damn you,” I shouted, scattering my limbs out of the way. “What’re you playing at?”

“Focus, Aurora. What are you feeling right now?” The vacant air spoke to me.

“I feel nothing,” I retorted. In truth, part of me wanted to snap the witch’s neck. “Come out!”

“Not while we’re having so much fun.” She laughed. “Truly, though. What are you feeling?”

I delved within myself.

“Anger. You’re trying to get out of this by cheating. I can’t attack you if I can’t see you.”

“Why are you angry?”

Another spray of ice-cold water hit my face. I coughed and gagged and raised my hands.

“For heaven’s sake,” I cried out, exasperated. “I’m angry because you’re not giving me a fair chance at defending myself!”

Then, she appeared in front of me, an all-knowing smile on her face.

“And why is that important, Aurora?”

Surprised at her question, I stopped in my tracks for a second and moved too late. She hit me with a ball of wind straight to the chest, and I fell back.

“It’s important—” I lunged at her from down below, using my force to call upon a slash of wind that made her jump. “—Because I care about a fair fight.”

“No,” she roared. “There’s more! Focus, focus! Think! Why must you have a fair fight? What does it mean for you?”

It meant I was trying to defend myself.

It meant I wanted to have a fair chance at winning this match.

It meant I cared about myself.

I smiled victoriously.

“It means—” I raised my hands and furnished a glowing ball of ember which I targeted at her, only warm enough to singe her brows. “—I’m trying to help myself.”

“Good girl!” She stood at ease, filling the warm air on her brows, her smile wan. “I had to let my brows burn for this, but it was worth it.”

I breathed heavily. The sun was overcast on our faces, it’s light warm and kind.

Eleanor sat down beside me and pulled out a slab of chocolate. “Have a bite.”

I took a piece and felt the decadent notes of cocoa and something sweet and tart settle on my tongue. “It’s delicious.”

“Back when your mom was your age, she had a lot of unresolved anger too.” She nibbled on her own piece.

“It was one of the first things I had to teach her as well.” She smiled at me. “Learning to channel her anger and to forgive herself.”

“Was it hard?”

She sighed. “It was worth it. Your mother was an empath. No different from what you are. You feel the weight of the world’s expectations on you and forget to turn some love inward.”

That sounded just about right.

“But when empaths learn to balance the elements and stand up for themselves, there’s no stronger force than them.” She smiled and stood up.

“That’s what you’re going to have to learn first, Aurora.”

I looked at the tangerine sunset beyond. Could I do it? Could I really learn to move past all the hurt?

The world had been so cruel. It had taken so much from me.

It made me survive in a world with no one but my stepmother, and then it took her from me.

It made me suffer unspeakable horrors in a dungeon at the hands of a despicable monster.

It took my mate’s love from me too, and tested me by fire. I was like some mythological heroine who had to repeatedly walk through flames.

And each time I came out, I was a bit different.

The Aurora who had met Wolfgang for the first time was a meek little thing, a girl who could never have stood up for herself. Who could only cry as misfortunes befell her.

The Aurora she had grown into was nothing short of a warrior queen.

And this was also something life had given me, a gift, no more, no less.

I couldn’t have come this far without going through what I had.

Selene had been right, this was more than a war I was fighting against others.

Most of all, it was a way for me to find myself.