A Family Made in Paradise
Auteur·e
Tina Beckett
Lectures
17,2K
Chapitres
13
CHAPTER ONE
CENTRE HOSPITALIER DE TAURATI was no place for children. Especially not this time of year. Not any time of year, really, but especially not when school was out. Sebastien Deslaurier turned the corner to head to a patient’s room and almost collided with someone. He swerved, turning his head to mutter an apology, only to tense when he recognized who it was.
Damn.
They both stopped and eyed each other in the same way they had for the last year. With a wariness that said they’d rather be anywhere but face-to-face. Or body to body.
She spoke first. “Sorry.” Her voice had an odd tremble.
It wasn’t her fault. He hadn’t been paying attention, either. But he was now. “What’s wrong?”
Her chin went up. “Who said anything was wrong?”
But there was. He’d sat with enough worried parents to know the fear that threaded through mundane phrases.
“Rachel...” His tongue traitorously savored those two syllables, hanging on to them for an instant before releasing them into the air. He swallowed, trying not to remember other times he’d said her name. On a night that had been as hot as their single fiery encounter.
She gave a half shrug, as if she hadn’t noticed his struggle. “It’s nothing. My daughter is a bit under the weather this morning, that’s all. I’m having her seen.”
That brought him back to earth with a bump. He knew all about Rachel Palmer’s daughter. It was one of the reasons he tended to steer clear of her. His son had died. While her daughter had lived.
Dammit, not something either of them could help. And it wasn’t fair for him to judge her based on that. Hell, his infant son’s cancer diagnosis was the whole reason he’d gone into pediatrics years ago.
Speaking of which...why was Rachel standing in front of the exam room door he was about to go in? He glanced down at the patient he’d been called to look at and swallowed. Claire Palmer. How could he not have put two and two together?
“Claire is who I’m here to examine, actually.”
“You?” Her eyes widened, and she edged closer to the door. “I thought Dr. Rogan was the on-call pediatrician today. If I’d known, I’d have...”
Her voice trailed away.
She would have what? Refused to let him see her? Taken her daughter to another medical facility? He hadn’t thought they’d left things on such bad terms that night a year ago. But maybe he was wrong.
And Claire?
How did you ask someone whose child had had cancer if she was afraid it had returned? You didn’t. You simply offered an ear. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on with her?”
She shook her head. “I would have taken her to an urgent care center. I probably should have, actually. But I figured they would just send me back here.” She bit her lip. “I’m hoping I’m being ridiculous and that you’ll tell me it’s just a virus.”
Just a virus. But it wasn’t said with a chirp of self-deprecating laughter. Instead there was strange sense of desperation. It was there in her eyes. The way her fingers twisted together again and again. As if she were pleading with the universe to not let it be what she feared it was.
He remembered exactly how that felt.
If that was it, why had she almost taken her daughter to urgent care rather than bringing her here to the hospital? Was she afraid he’d wind up being the attending if she had?
Actually, her comment about thinking that Dr. Rogan was the on-call physician seemed to bear that out.
He could understand why, if so. Their periodic interactions were nothing if not awkward, despite their assurances that their one wild night together meant nothing.
It evidently meant enough to make them steer clear of each other as much as possible.
“Dr. Rogan is taking care of an emergency case, so he asked me to see his next patient.” He glanced at the door behind her. “Who is behind that door, I assume.”
Rachel nodded. “I just stepped out for a second to give her some privacy while she changed into a hospital gown.”
“In that case, why don’t you give me a quick rundown on her symptoms before I go in?”
“Fever, lack of appetite, nausea...” There was a long pause. “And a swollen lymph node on the right side of her neck.”
And there it was. The real reason why she was so scared.
“This is a new symptom?”
She nodded. “She hasn’t had one of those since her...”
Since her cancer diagnosis.
The thought came through loud and clear. His brain worked through some alternatives.
He had to fight back his own sense of déjà vu. “COVID test?”
“That was my first thought. We did a rapid test, and it came back negative.”
Of course she had. Rachel was a smart woman. She would rule out what she could on her own before asking for help.
“Let’s go in, and I’ll examine her.”
He gave a quick knock on the door. A voice that was much more cheerful than her mother’s said, “Come in.”
Letting Rachel enter the room ahead of him, he saw that Claire was already sitting on the exam table. Rachel went to her daughter’s side, while Sebastien took the opportunity to study the girl as he casually made his way over. He could see the swollen spot on the right side of her jaw even from this distance. If he remembered right, she’d had Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Swollen lymphs were a classic sign of the condition.
“Hi, Claire, I’m Sebastien Deslaurier. You can call me Seb, if that’s okay with your mom.”
He glanced at her, catching her frown, but she gave a jerky nod of permission.
Continuing, he pulled up a stool and sat next to the bed. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on? Starting with your symptoms. What did you notice first?”
“You mean this time? Or since I was born?” Her grin caught Seb by surprise. He couldn’t stop the smile that formed on his own face.
“You remember your birth?”
“Well, no. Mom would have to tell you about that. I’m sure it was traumatic.”
“Claire!” Rachel’s quick admonition came from behind him.
He glanced back at her, the smile still on his face. “Don’t worry, we don’t need to go back that far.” He turned his attention back to Claire. “Just since you started feeling sick this time.”
Claire was a carbon copy of her mom, with dark brown hair and eyes that sparkled. Damn. There was so much zest for life here. He hoped to hell it wasn’t what Rachel feared. The last thing he wanted was to have to break the news to her that her daughter’s cancer was back.
“I got a sore throat a couple of nights ago. I didn’t say anything, because I spent the night with friends a week ago and thought I caught something. But then no one else felt sick. Then last night, I felt sick and threw up. And I have this knot.” She fingered the spot on her neck. She looked at him with an expression that said it all. “I know that worries my mom the most.”
A ball of emotion lodged itself in his gut, and a million memories came skittering along his nerve endings.
So that he wouldn’t focus on that, he picked up the electronic chart and glanced at it. “We’ll get it sorted out.” He glanced at Rachel. “They’ve already taken vitals?”
“Yes.”
He perused what was recorded. Slightly elevated heart rate and blood pressure. And her temperature was still at 101. Low-grade fever. Another sign. “Do we have her records from the States?”
“I can get them transferred. But—”
“Let’s start with that.” He glanced at Claire. “I want to examine you and then get some blood drawn, okay?”
She shrugged. “I’m not scared of needles. I’ve seen plenty of them. And my mom’s a nurse, so she’s talked me through a lot of things.”
Like PICC lines and MRIs?
“I’m sure she has.” He smiled at the girl, hoping it looked more genuine than it felt.
The idea of being a doctor hadn’t even been on his horizon when his boy had been diagnosed. But afterward? Hell, yes.
He made a call to the nurses’ station about the blood draw.
Then he examined Claire, listening to her heart and lungs and having her lie back on the table so he could palpate her stomach. Nothing out of the ordinary.
He helped her sit back up. “I’m going to feel your neck. Tell me if anything hurts.”
Placing his fingertips just below her ears, he walked them down, feeling for any abnormalities. The node on her right side wasn’t huge, but it was large enough to be seen if you knew what you were looking for. He watched if she flinched when he pressed it, but she just sat stoically. “Hurt?”
“No, not really.”
Hell, he’d been hoping the thing hurt like crazy. Enlarged nodes from Hodgkin’s were rarely painful.
He continued down, checking her thyroid for nodules, but there was nothing. Other than the lymph node. “How’s your throat?”
“It’s okay. It was sore when I woke up, but...” She glanced at her mom before quickly adding, “It’s better now.”
Was she minimizing symptoms because she knew how worried her mom was? He checked her throat, but her tonsils looked clear, and there was no sign of strep. But he’d take a throat swab anyway, just in case.
One of the pediatric nurses came in just as he was finishing up. She smiled at Rachel. “I know you’re worried, Mom, but I’m sure she’ll be fine. Especially with Dr. Sebastien on the case.”
How could she be sure, when Sebastien wasn’t? Him having anything to do with whether or not Claire would be fine wasn’t really up to him.
He moved over to where Rachel was standing as the woman drew the prescribed number of vials. “I’m going to have a spot test for mono done as well. It takes about an hour.”
“Yes, I know. I thought of that as well, but I haven’t heard of any cases at her school or among her friends. Have there been any here at Hospitalier?”
There hadn’t been. “Not that I know of, but that doesn’t rule that or the flu out. I want to do a second COVID test as well, just for peace of mind.”
“Thank you for being willing to see her.”
Did she really think he was that much of a cad? That he’d realize who Claire was and then turn around and walk away because of their night together? He hoped she thought more of his professionalism than that. “Of course. Is Dr. Rogan her normal pediatrician?”
“Yes. But we’ve only seen him once, to get her health certificate before enrolling her in school. She’s been so healthy, we haven’t needed to see him...until now.” Her voice had dropped almost to a whisper.
The nurse finished up and exited the room.
Claire turned to them. “See? No tears.”
“I never doubted you for a minute.” The girl’s demeanor was engaging and every bit as winsome as her greeting had been. He felt a tug of something akin to affection in his gut.
Hell, he was glad Dr. Rogan was her primary care physician. He’d been involved with her mother. The last thing he needed was to have Claire as one of his patients.
As if reading his thoughts, Rachel went over and kissed her daughter on her head. “I’m going to step outside with Dr. Deslaurier. I’ll be back in in a minute.”
“Okay.” Claire looked at him. “I’m sure I’ll see you around, since my mom works here.”
He forced yet another smile, his stomach churning. He hoped not. Hoped there’d be no need for the girl to make regular trips to Hospitalier. “I’m sure you will.”
He and Rachel went into the hallway. He headed off anything she might have been about to say. “I’ll let you know when I get the test results back. Until then, try not to worry.”
“Easy for you to say.”
No, it wasn’t. But there was no way he was going to tell her anything about his son. Not only because it would make an already awkward situation between them even more awkward, but because he didn’t talk about Bleu to anyone. He dragged his hand through his hair.
“Listen, I know this isn’t easy. And not just because of what happened...before.” If he was trying to make her feel better, he was botching things. Time to retreat while he could. “I want you to know, if you need me—for anything—all you have to do is ask.”
And that did not come out the way he’d expected it to, either. He quickly inserted, “For a second look, I mean.”
There was silence for few seconds before one side of her mouth quirked. “Of course. What else could you possibly have meant?”
Oh, she knew exactly the thought that had crossed his mind as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Had it crossed hers as well?
He wasn’t going to stand around, though, and let his memories drift back into forbidden places. And if he kept talking, that’s exactly what was bound to happen. But he couldn’t quite let her challenge go without a fitting response. He lowered his voice, allowing himself to taste her name one last time. “I think we both know the answer to that... Rachel.”
Big mistake. He shouldn’t have referred to her by her first name, because the cells at the very center of his brain—where dormant things were sent for storage—woke up. And they woke up with a vengeance.
Her fingers went up to smooth a lock of silky black hair as she reacted to his words, and her tongue flicked out to moisten her lips, making those newly awakened brain cells dance with kinetic energy.
Then she blinked, her hand dropping back to her side. “Well, I need to get back to her.”
“And I need to get going, too, and see if Dr. Rogan has any more patients for me.” Not that she needed to know anything about that. The need to end their conversation on a more serious note forced its way through him. “I hope the tests all come back clean. I’ll give you a call once I know more. And I meant it about calling me if you want me to look at her again.”
Her smile was genuine this time. “I appreciate that. Really.”
And with that, Sebastien sucked down a quick breath and headed on his way, refusing to give in to the urge to glance back at her as he did.
The second he disappeared around the corner, Rachel slumped against the wall for a second or two, trying to slow her pounding heart. What was it about that man that got her wound up whenever she saw him?
Who was she kidding? It was the way he’d carried her into the resort’s overwater cabana a year ago, her legs wrapped around his waist. The way he’d dumped her onto that bed, looking at her as if he couldn’t wait to devour her...
Her eyes fluttered shut as memories crashed like ocean waves, drenching her to the skin. She straightened. It was the humidity. It had to be. Besides, what was she doing thinking about him when she needed to get back in the room with Claire?
When her daughter had woken up this morning with a slight fever and a visible swelling on her neck, it had dropped Rachel’s heart into her stomach. It bothered her how Claire had acted with him. She’d always been an optimistic child. But when she’d looked for his approval after getting her blood drawn, Rachel had instinctively shifted into protective-mama-bear mode. Claire had never had any contact with her biological father, and even though it made no sense, Rachel feared her being hurt by men. It probably stemmed from her own hurt at being abandoned, but it was hard not to be overprotective. She was sure Sebastien had probably noticed. But she couldn’t help it.
Just like she couldn’t help that after six years of her daughter’s perfect health, Rachel’s thoughts immediately ran back toward that first diagnosis of cancer the second Claire felt ill.
She went back into the room. Before she could think of anything to say, Claire took one look at her face and rolled her eyes. “I’m fine, Mom. Really. Did Seb leave already?”
She let herself relax for the first time today. “He did. He had other patients to see.”
Which was true, right? He’d said he needed to see if Dr. Rogan had other patients for him to see. “Let’s head home. I’ll drop you off first, then I’ll get us something to eat. Anything special that you want?”
“A mango?”
That made Rachel smile. “A mango. Really?”
“I love them.”
They didn’t have mangoes where they’d lived in Wisconsin. Or at least nothing like they had in Taurati. Fortunately, she could pick some up at one of the street vendors not far from their apartment. They carried everything from fruits and vegetables to woven baskets. There was a fish market near there as well, so maybe she’d swing by and grab something for dinner. Claire loved the fish on the island.
“Okay, a mango it is. Get dressed so I can get you home.”
Claire got up and picked up her clothes, giving her mom a look.
“Oh, okay.” She turned her back on her daughter so she could change.
Her daughter was turning into a teenager, and there were days it showed. She pushed back from time to time, which she never had done when she was younger.
Rachel been reluctant to take the job in Taurati at first, because of her daughter’s childhood diagnosis, but Claire had talked her into it, saying after being tied to a hospital in the States for the better part of a year doing treatments, followed by periodic scans for years afterward, she wanted to see as many things as the world had to offer. That had made Rachel’s decision for her. And it seemed to be the right one, drawing them closer as they struggled to learn a new way of life. But those first days had been hard.
When her mom had come to visit a month after their arrival on the island, saying she wanted to spend time alone with her granddaughter and insisting Rachel take a week for herself and explore the island, she knew exactly why the suggestion had been made. The anniversary of Claire’s cancer diagnosis had been nearing, and Rachel always got maudlin, fighting not to smother her daughter with attention and hugs, which only reminded Claire of all she’d been through. Her mom had been right.
They’d compromised on three days rather than a whole week. Rachel ended up not spending that time on the go but opting for a period of quiet reflection at one of the overwater bungalows at a nearby resort. With its thatched roof and dreamy views, it was a tropical paradise.
Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined sitting on a private deck, dangling her feet in the water while colorful fish swam laps around them. It was the perfect place to consider how lucky she was to still have her daughter. To be able to watch her grow up. The magical oasis had probably bewitched her thinking. Because when she was asked if she was okay with being seated at the table of another patron in the resort’s packed dining room, she’d said yes.
In more ways than one. Because the occupant of that other table had been none other than the hospital’s hunky pediatrician. The outcome of that meeting had been very different than it was today. Because it had been the anniversary of Claire’s cancer diagnosis, and she’d been all caught up in her emotions. Her encounter with Seb, and their fun—and very sexy—back-and-forth banter had led to an equally sexy night in her bungalow. The perfect outlet for her churning emotions. At least she’d thought so at the time. The tattoo of a sea turtle on his left shoulder with word Bleu scrawled in the middle of it had fascinated her. Was it a reference to the sea life and the gorgeous blue waters of his homeland?
“All done.”
Claire’s voice pulled her from her thoughts. They went out to the car and, after arriving at the apartment, Rachel saw her daughter inside before taking off on foot to the market. Once there, she picked up several mangoes, a melon and some veggies, then hurried to the fish market. She arrived back home to find Claire flopped on the couch, back in her pj’s. A frisson of alarm went through her. “Are you feeling worse?”
“No, but it’s Saturday, and I don’t have school. I just changed back, since you won’t let me do anything with my friends. Right?”
“Right. Not until we know what we’re dealing with.”
Claire gave a dramatic sigh that made her smile. Her daughter was definitely an extrovert, unlike her mom, who had to be more intentional in talking to people, due to her job. But she was glad at how easily her girl could make friends.
Except when it came to Sebastien, evidently, since she’d ushered him out of the room as soon as she got a chance. But their conversation in that hallway had shaken her up almost as much as it had in that restaurant a year ago. She’d found herself reading something into almost everything he said.
She smiled to take the sting out of her earlier words. “Well, you’re negative for the flu and COVID, so there’s that. Sebas—er, Dr. Deslaurier said he’d call as soon as the mono test comes back. It should be anytime now.”
Her daughter’s head cocked. “I told you you were overreacting. Seb doesn’t seem worried at all.”
Seb. Great. Claire seemed to relish saying the man’s name, putting special emphasis on it. She should have objected when the pediatrician had offered it up. But she hadn’t. And now it was too late, evidently. Her worry had superseded everything else.
They had both tiptoed around the reason for Rachel’s worry, but they both knew exactly what it was about. Knew exactly what she was afraid of, even six years after Claire had finished with her treatments.
Rachel wondered if her daughter knew just how terrified she was every time she had a little cough or a sore throat. Probably. But tenderness in the lymph nodes in her neck was what had set them on that crazy journey of infusions and tests in the first place.
Claire had been one of the lucky ones. There were so many children who weren’t. Rachel had seen it with her own eyes through her job. The offer to work in a smaller hospital on the island of Taurati had been a balm to her soul, since her job in Wisconsin had been at a teaching hospital with a huge oncology department. Each child who came through with cancer was like a knife to her heart.
She decided to shift the subject from cancer...or Seb. “How’s your French and Tahitian coming?”
One thing she hadn’t thought about was the fact that they would both be learning two other languages simultaneously.
“I would say better than yours, but that doesn’t sound very nice, does it?”
Rachel grinned and mimicked her daughter’s playful tone. “I would say no, it doesn’t, but that it’s probably true.”
Fortunately Taurati had a vibrant tourist industry, so English was widely spoken. Even her encounters with Sebastien had taken place in her heart language, except for those sexy muttered phrases here and there in that hut.
Which she was not going to think about again. Or about the pediatrician’s French accent, which was almost as smoking hot as he was. From what Sebastien had said the few times they’d actually spoken about things other than work, she knew his mom was Tahitian and his dad was French. He’d grown up in the islands and had lived in Taurati for the last five years. There’d been murmurs around the nurses’ stations about something bad that had happened in his past, but normally those conversations took place in a language other than English, and Rachel tried not to translate them in her head. Once she heard his name mentioned, she did her best to tune the speaker out. The less she knew about him, the better. Because her reaction to him when she didn’t even know him? Well, it was electric. And oh, so dangerous.
Even in hospital hallway, when her sick child had been mere footsteps away, she’d had a hard time not absorbing every syllable he said and letting them linger in her head.
“Let me throw together something to eat and then we can watch a movie.” She held up her bag. “And the mangoes look out of this world today.”
“Yum, thanks.”
Rachel went into the kitchen and cut up some of the fruit and then made a light salad and grilled the fish. It was hot enough outside today that the air-conditioning was having trouble keeping up, so something light seemed like the order of the day. Besides, walking home in the oppressive heat had taken a lot out of her.
Or was it due to the playful banter with Sebastien? Not going there. Not right now.
When she had their plates ready, she walked into the other room. “Do you want to eat here? Or at the dining room table?” A table that consisted of an ancient round slab of wood and some whitewashed chairs. Rachel loved the charm of it.
“Sofa, for sure.”
“Okay, but just for tonight.”
Handing Claire a plate, she settled in and turned the television on, choosing a romantic comedy that her daughter said she wanted. Romantic comedy. Well, Rachel’s love live was certainly a comedy, but the romantic part? Nope. Not in a long while. Claire’s father had skipped out while she’d still been a baby, saying he wasn’t ready to be a father. And in her daughter’s twelve years, Rachel had had exactly two encounters with men, one of which had been with Sebastien, and surely you couldn’t even count that.
Oh, it counted. It definitely counted.
But it was up to her to make sure that their time together stayed firmly entrenched in the past. For everyone’s sake. But most importantly Claire’s. There was no way she was going to let someone into her daughter’s life only to have him walk back out of it again. Been there, done that. The only good part was that Claire didn’t remember the pain of her biological dad leaving. But she was definitely old enough to be hurt by something like that now. And the way she’d taken to Sebastien had unnerved Rachel.
Her daughter had enough emotional scars. For that matter, so did she. She was not looking to add to that number.
What she was going to do first was make sure her daughter was okay physically. Then she was going to bury her own heart so deep that nothing or no one would be able to find it. With that decided, she threw herself into watching the movie, trying to enjoy every second she got to spend with her daughter, knowing Claire was growing up way too fast. That was evident in her not wanting her mom to see her change clothes.
She put her free arm around Claire and gave her a quick squeeze. “Love you, kiddo.”
Claire looked at her. “I know. Love you, too.”
And when her phone rang toward the end of the movie, she glanced down and saw that it was the hospital. Forcing back sentimental tears from the movie they were watching, she took a deep breath and hoped her voice wouldn’t shake when she answered.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Rachel, it’s Seb.”
Seb. Her eyes closed, and she prayed this was the news she wanted to hear.
“The test results?”
“Yes. It’s definitely not mono.”
Her fingers dug into the arm of the sofa even as she finished up the call, thanking him.
Claire was looking at her with a weird expression. “What is it?”
“It’s good news. You don’t have mono.”
It was strange that good news could also be bad. Very bad.
Because if Claire didn’t have mono...what did she have?
