The Guardian Agreement
Auteur·e
Lorraine Beatty
Lectures
18,1K
Chapitres
13
Chapter One
Olivia Marshall dropped her leather satchel, purse and lunch bag onto her desk and sank into the cushioned chair. Her gaze landed on the calendar, and she huffed out a heavy sigh. The Blessing, Mississippi Bicentennial was only a few weeks away and once it was over, she’d be able to take a long-needed vacation. The last year had been filled with one event after the other, all building to the big day at the end of April. Her job as bicentennial liaison coordinator had been exciting and fulfilling, but she was more than ready for a break.
Her boss had handed her one last project, overseeing the design and assembly of a special souvenir booklet highlighting the two hundredth birthday celebrations, and she was looking forward to the challenge. She’d held many jobs with the committee for the last three years, but this one was the most exciting. Her baby. Her design and her vision. Most importantly, it would give a boost to her résumé when she applied for the town manager job later this spring.
She leaned back in her chair. Only one slight problem. She had to find a photographer to help her document the dozens of events surrounding the big day. The last one had resigned for a better position. She couldn’t blame the woman, but it had left Olivia in limbo.
“Olivia, I have good news.”
Olivia glanced up as her boss entered her office. Delores Porter was the director of the bicentennial committee and had hired Olivia three years ago when the committee was first organized to plan the two hundredth birthday event.
She smiled and tapped the desktop. “I’ve found you a photographer.”
“That was fast. Justine only quit last week. Can they start right away? I don’t want to get any further behind on this job than I already am. It’s going to be hectic trying to document and photograph all the events coming up.”
Delores held up a hand. “No problem. He can start right away and he has good credentials. He’s in my office. You want me to send him in to see you?”
“That’s fine. I’ll fill him in. I just hope he’s as good as you claim.”
“Oh, and there’s a change in plans today. I want you to go to the history museum. The chairman of the city quilt committee has decided the quilt should be displayed in the new museum building since the quilt represents the history of the town.”
“Sounds good. I’ll rearrange a couple of things, then get on it.” Olivia turned her attention to her schedule and adjusted for the changes. She was vaguely aware of someone entering her small office; she glanced up and froze. Her mind rejected what she was seeing. Her heart turned to ice in her chest. Heat surged up through her ribs and into her neck, tightening her throat and making it hard to breathe.
Ben! Why was Ben Kincaid in her office? She never wanted to see him again ever.
“Hello, Olivia. It’s good to see you.”
The memory of his raspy voice sliced through her nerves and unleashed an anger that she’d believed she’d conquered a long time ago. She clenched her teeth and glared at the tall handsome man in front of her.
“Get out. I have nothing to say to you.”
He inhaled a slow breath and shrugged. “I can’t. I’m your new photographer.”
She could only stare in shock. “No. No, you’re not.” Was Delores serious? There was no way she could work with the man who had left her dressed in her wedding gown, ready to walk down the aisle, then sent a note saying he wasn’t coming.
Anger flooded her senses. She stood and walked out of her office, catching a whiff of the aftershave he’d favored as she passed him. The memory lanced through her like a hot sword. She struggled to control the pain.
Olivia stormed into Delores’s office. “I can’t work with this man. You’ll have to find someone else.”
Delores swung around in her chair and frowned. “Why would I do that? He’s perfect.”
Perfectly unsuitable. “I...know him. We can’t get along.”
Delores raised her brows and removed her glasses. “Well, I’m sorry, but you have no choice. He’s the only one available right now. May I remind you we are on a very tight timeline? I suggest you find a way to work this out.”
Olivia’s stomach twisted into a knot. “You don’t understand. He’s my former fiancé.” Saying the words sent a sting to her heart.
Delores made a dismissive gesture. “Then you should be able to find a way to team up.”
“No. He...” She didn’t want to tell her boss the truth. It was too humiliating, too painful. It had taken her three years of hard work to overcome being jilted. “He left me at the altar.”
Delores looked up with the pitiful expression Olivia had come to despise. “Oh, he’s the one, huh? Well, I’m sorry—I really am. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be, but we have no choice. I’ll look around for someone else, but the only option at the moment is a high school kid. In the meantime you need to set aside the past and do your job. We need to get this booklet to the printer as soon after the bicentennial celebration is over as possible.”
Olivia had worked for the woman a long time and she knew the tone of her voice meant her decision was final. She was not going to give in. Returning to her office, Olivia hoped Ben had left, but he was looking out the window, his back to her. He’d crossed his arms over his chest, making the material of his knit shirt stretch across his broad shoulders. She tried to squash the rush of appreciation that flowed through her without warning. She gritted her teeth and dug down to find her work persona, the one that had carried her through the last three years.
“Why are you here?”
He turned slowly and met her gaze. He didn’t smile. Odd. Ben was always smiling and always flirting, making use of his dimples and his dreamy blue eyes. She raised her chin. She’d succumbed to his good looks and skillful charm once. Never again.
“I wanted to see you...again.”
“Why? Just to gloat?” She hadn’t meant to swipe at him, but she was barely holding it together.
“No, Olivia, I’d never do that.”
“I used to think there were a lot of things you’d never do. I was wrong.” She went and stood behind her desk, trying to ignore the way his blue shirt brought out those blue eyes. “Why did you take this job?”
“I needed the money.”
Olivia nearly laughed out loud. “Right. The rich playboy needs money so you get a job as a photographer for a small-town celebration. What do you know about taking pictures?” Ben took a step toward her and she moved away.
“I know a lot. I’ve always been interested in photography. I was a sports photographer in college, remember?”
“No. I don’t. You never told me that.”
Delores entered the office. “Olivia, Edwina Cole called from the museum. They are nearly ready to hang the quilt. I want pictures of that. You’d better get going.”
Olivia’s nerves chilled and vibrated with emotion. How was she going to do this? How could she work with Ben when all she wanted to do was make him disappear? Forever. A small voice reminded her that she was in charge here. This was her job, her area of expertise. Ben was just the guy with the camera.
Grabbing up her satchel and purse, she started from the room. “Meet me at St. Joseph’s Church, ASAP.”
Ben hurried after her. “Shouldn’t we go together?”
She stopped in her tracks, turned around and looked him in the eyes. “Ab-so-lute-ly not.” Satisfied at the shock reflected in his face, she marched out and didn’t allow herself to think or breathe until she was safely locked in her car.
Alone and secure, her emotions spilled over, and she gulped in a deep breath and exhaled a sob. All the anger and hurt from her shattered wedding day rose up from the crypt she’d sealed them in. Gripping the steering wheel, she fought them back. She’d gotten good at it over the years. She would not, could not, work with Ben Kincaid. If that meant quitting her job then that’s what she would do. Her heart couldn’t survive his presence. Not a second time.
Pushing the ignition button, she drove out of the parking lot and headed for the newly acquired Blessing History Museum, wishing Ben would get lost on the way and never show up.
Ben Kincaid watched Olivia storm off, realizing he’d greatly underestimated her reaction to his return. He’d anticipated anger, tears and even a sock on the jaw as a possibility. He’d been under the notion that three years might have eased her feelings about what he’d done. Obviously, he had been wrong.
He hadn’t been prepared for the pain in her brown eyes, or the hurt in her voice. Coming here might have been a mistake, but he wasn’t going to give up after their first meeting. A wave of guilt engulfed him. He was responsible for that pain in her eyes, the hurt in her voice, and it was up to him to try and ease that somehow. He had so much to make up for. Not only to Olivia but others as well. His sense of failure started to expand.
After reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a peppermint, unwrapped it and popped it in his mouth. The sweet taste took his mind off the emotion trying to overtake him.
He needed to catch up with Olivia. After stopping by Delores’s office for directions, he headed out, hoping he didn’t get lost. Olivia would be furious if he messed up on his first job. He wasn’t from Blessing. It had been Olivia’s desire to be married in one of the small town’s historic old churches. He’d wanted to run off to Vegas. He winced at the thought. It sounded so cheesy to him now. Olivia deserved a proper church wedding. Why hadn’t he seen that before?
Ben found the church with little trouble; the large sign in the front yard declaring it as the history museum had helped. Quickly he pulled out his camera and headed inside. Olivia was talking to a tall redheaded woman across the room. Two men were lifting the framed quilt onto the braces on the wall. He had no idea what the significance of the quilt might be, but he’d figure it out. All he wanted now was to get as many shots as possible. He scanned the room through the lens and snapped some activity in the corner. When he focused on the quilt again Olivia was standing in front of it, one hand lightly touching one of the many small colorful squares that formed the coverlet. The expression on her face caught his breath. She looked so lovely, so translucent he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her wavy brown hair caressed her neck gently, its rich color highlighted by the pink blouse she wore.
He tried to discern her expression but failed to find the right word. She looked proud, sad and moved all at the same time. He vowed to ask her about it if he ever got the chance. As if reading his mind, she turned and faced him. His heart jumped. Forcing a smile, he went toward her. He’d forgotten how lovely she was and how easily she could affect him.
“I’ve got shots of the quilt being hung in place. What else do you want?”
She looked away. “That should be enough.”
The red-headed woman came toward him. “I’d like pictures of the quilt up close, maybe some from a lower angle. I have a project I want to do. Hello, I’m Edwina Cole.”
Ben lowered his camera and shook her hand. “Ben Kincaid.” He glanced around. “Is this a new museum?” The space was sparsely filled.
Edwina smiled. “As a matter of fact, it is. A local businessman had created a private museum here, but decided it would be better served in the hands of the historical society and donated the building. We’re trying to get a few special items displayed for the celebration. It’ll take longer to make this a full-fledged museum.”
Ben nodded. “Interesting. I’d like to get shots of you with the quilt if you don’t mind. It’ll add a personal touch.”
Ben didn’t realize how long he’d been working until Olivia cleared her throat. “Are you finished?”
“Oh, yeah. Sure.” He thanked Edwina then followed Olivia out to the parking lot. He took shots of the old church before facing her. “So, what’s the story behind the quilt? Someone important make it?” She kept her gaze averted when she replied.
“Many someones. It’s a community quilt. Nearly every family contributed. Some of those squares are from clothing that’s hundreds of years old, others from current families. It’s a beautiful representation of the history of our town.”
Ben smiled. “That’s nice. A great story. Are you going to caption the picture with that explanation?”
“I don’t know. I’ll decide when I see the photos.”
Ben slipped his camera into its case. “Well, if I was buying one of these booklets, I’d want a little info for each photo to jog my memory. Sometimes a picture alone isn’t enough.”
Olivia stared at him a moment then pulled out her phone. “I need your number.”
Ben raised his eyebrows. “Sure. Where to next?”
“Nowhere. I’m going back to the office to handle an issue Edwina has. I’ll call you if there’s something else I need photographed. I assume you’re staying someplace in town?”
“Uh, yes. I can report for duty at the drop of a hat. No worries.”
She turned away and reached for the door handle of her car. He didn’t want her to leave. He had so much he wanted to say. “Livvy, we need to talk.”
She whirled around, her brown eyes dark. “Don’t call me that. My name is Olivia. And there’s nothing we need to talk about.”
“Please, Olivia, if you’d just give me a few minutes.”
“I was ready to give you my future but that wasn’t good enough.” She shrugged. “There’s nothing else to say.”
Ben watched with a knot in his stomach as she got in the car and drove off. What a fool he was. He’d convinced himself that if he could just talk to her, explain what he’d been thinking that day, she’d at least understand. His only hope now was that spending time together would start to break down her wall enough for him to tell her how sorry he was.
Inside his SUV, he emailed his photos to Olivia then stared out the window at the old church. It wasn’t the one they were supposed to have been married in, but it took his thoughts back to that day. Their wedding day. The day he realized just how much he loved her and how wrong he was for her.
Today he realized that despite the passage of time, and all the changes in his life, he was still completely, hopelessly in love with Olivia Marshall.
Delores called to her the moment she entered the office. Olivia hadn’t returned after the museum shoot was completed. She’d driven to the coffee shop, ordered her favorite brew and parked in the shade of a tree on the square. The flavored coffee only partially distracted her thoughts from Ben. There was no way she could dismiss him completely. Seeing him again, having to be close to him daily, was like pouring acid on a partially healed scar.
Yet, the ugly truth was, being near Ben had unleashed all her old feelings for him and on top of the pile was the fact that she still had feelings for him. What kind of masochist did that make her? The man humiliated her in front of the whole town, cut her heart out of her body, and left her dead and empty, and yet she looked at him now and felt the old stirrings.
Emotional muscle memory. That’s all it was. Not real, sincere affection.
Olivia entered her boss’s office, hoping she’d found another photographer. Delores didn’t give her a moment to speak. “Have you seen these?” She spun her computer screen around to display the pictures Ben had taken. “These are amazing. He has a real eye for this. He even suggested we add the personal touch by mentioning the reason behind the quilt project and the new museum.” Delores smiled. “We have a real winner in this guy.”
Olivia set her jaw. “If you say so.”
Her boss eyed her closely. “Oh, didn’t it go well? You and the ex I mean.”
Olivia had never felt so trapped. There was no convenient answer. Either way she responded she’d still have to work with Ben. It was a no-win situation. “It was fine. He did his job. I did mine.”
“Good. Olivia, it’s only for a few weeks. Just shut down your emotions and get through it. That’s what I do.” Delores smiled. “Think about how much you’ve accomplished since you came here and how much you’ve changed. Don’t give that up for a short-term partnership that’ll be over soon.”
Olivia nodded. She knew her boss meant well. “I’ll work from home the rest of the day if you don’t mind.”
“Sure. See you tomorrow.”
Safely in her small bungalow home, Olivia fixed a glass of tea and curled up on the sofa, her gaze scanning her cozy living room. Her new house was perfect. She’d lovingly selected each piece of furniture, each rug, lamp and wall hanging, to suit her taste. When she stepped inside the room, her tension dropped, her mood lifted and she felt a sense of contentment she’d rarely experienced in her life.
Except for today. Instead of feeling relaxed she was edgy and tense.
She’d worked hard to put her life back together after that fateful day. She’d gone to work for the bicentennial committee, bought her own home, buried all memories of the pain and humiliation. And Ben. She’d proved to herself that she was capable, resilient and strong. She could rise above anything life could throw at her. But how did she get through Ben showing up in her world again?
He wanted to talk? Was he out of his mind? Nothing he could say would erase the pain of that day. Even now, she could feel the emotions that had slammed into her as she sat in her wedding gown, veil draped over her shoulders, bouquet within reach, and learned that he wasn’t coming. He didn’t love her enough to spend his life with her. He’d chosen freedom over commitment. It was as if all the scaffolding holding her together had collapsed and she was sitting in a pile of debris trying to dig her way out.
Why was he really back? There had to be a reason other than wanting to talk.
A low groan escaped her lips at the knock on the door. She really didn’t want to see anyone. Before she could move, the door opened, and her good friend and coworker Marcy Jo Conner peeked in. “Oh, it’s you. Come on in.”
Marcy Jo had been the first friend she’d made when she moved to Blessing in high school, and they had remained close ever since. Marcy Jo was supposed to have been her maid of honor.
“Hey, Ollie, I wanted to check on you. I heard about what’s-his-name coming back.”
Marcy Jo was the only person on the planet who could call her by such a silly name. Olivia shook her head. “I can’t believe he’s here or why in the world he would come back, let alone take a job working with me.”
Marcy Jo curled up at the other end of the sofa. “I have no idea. After what he did, I’d think he would want to stay as far away as possible. Did he say why he’s here?”
“He said he wants to talk about what happened.” Olivia snorted. “I don’t think so.”
“How did it go today? Delores told me he went with you to the museum.”
She shrugged and picked at the fringe on the sofa pillow. “Fine. I simply shut down my emotions and did my job and he did his.”
“Well, that’s good.” She stood and headed toward the kitchen. “Mind if I get a cool drink? Still, it must have been hard for you.”
“I’m over him. Have been for a long time. I’m a different person now.” Marcy Jo returned and met her gaze.
“And what about him? Has he changed much?”
Olivia started to say no but paused. “Actually, now that I think about it, he was different. He was usually so smiley and flirty all the time. He was always making jokes, having fun and never taking anything seriously. But he was quiet today. Serious. The only time I saw him smile was when he met Edwina at the museum.”
Marcy Jo set her drink on a coaster. “Maybe he grew up. They say men mature later than women do.”
She went over their brief conversations. “He said he needed the money. That’s why he took the job.”
Marcy Jo frowned. “Uh, excuse me, there are better-paying jobs he could have found that weren’t in Blessing working with you.”
“I know. I hope he doesn’t have any ideas about us getting together again. That’ll never happen.”
Marcy Jo pulled her knees up. “No way, though I caught sight of him as I was leaving the office. He was meeting with Delores. He hasn’t lost his looks. If anything, he’s aged very well.” Marcy Jo grimaced, obviously regretting her comment. “Sorry, but he always was a looker. You two were a beautiful couple.”
“It takes more than good looks to make a relationship. Ben didn’t have what it takes to make a commitment.” She couldn’t deny the years had been kind to him. There were small lines at the corners of his sky-blue eyes; his physique was more muscular than she remembered, the shoulders more broad. The dimples still winked when he spoke.
“I wonder what he’s been doing all this time”
Olivia had wondered the same thing briefly. “Don’t know and don’t care.” Despite her words, there had been something different about Ben she couldn’t dismiss. She’d seen it in his eyes, but she’d been afraid to look too deep because her mind and her heart were at war, and she had a bad feeling she was in for an emotional tug-of-war over the next several weeks. What was it the pastor had said last week? Something about guarding your heart for the heart was “deceitful above all things.”
She knew firsthand that it was a true statement. Her heart had told her lies about Ben. From now on she’d be on alert and put on her shield and keep the old attraction and responses behind it. Ben was just a man taking pictures. Nothing more.
Ben stopped his SUV in the alleyway behind the large craftsman house and gathered up his equipment. His mind was a seesaw of thoughts and impressions. He had no idea where to start sorting through them. The scenario he’d envisioned in his mind upon meeting Olivia again had borne no resemblance to the events that had actually played out.
He stepped into the cozy kitchen and inhaled the aroma of roast beef and noodles. Aunt Nora must have sensed he’d need comfort food tonight. If it wasn’t for his dad’s sister, Ben wouldn’t be working with Olivia or in Blessing at all. Not only had she offered him a place to stay, but she’d told him about the opening with Olivia and pulled a couple strings to get him the job.
“There you are. How did it go today?”
Ben answered with a sour glance.
“Ah. Well, I’m not surprised.” She reached out and took his chin in her hand, turning his face from one side to the other. “I don’t see any red marks or scars, so I guess she didn’t get violent.”
Ben smiled and shook his head. “No. Olivia’s not that type.”
Nora peered at him over the rim of her glasses. “You leave a bride at the altar, she becomes a different type. Mark my words.”
Ben hoped she was wrong. He’d liked Olivia the way he remembered her. Sweet, happy, delighted with new experiences. And loving.
“Will you be going back tomorrow?”
Ben set his camera bag at the end of the counter. “Yes. The boss really liked the work I did today.”
“That’s good. What did Olivia think?”
“Not sure. We didn’t actually talk much.”
“Give her time, Ben. Be patient. You hurt her deeply. That’s not something a woman can get over easily. If ever.”
The thought was depressing. “It was three years ago.”
Nora frowned. “It was her wedding day. You didn’t have sisters, so you don’t understand what a wedding means to a girl. Some start planning it when they’re in grade school. Every detail is important. The napkins, the font on the invitations, the cake decorations, the color of the flowers. When it doesn’t happen—all those dreams, all those years of seeing herself as a princess, the focus of attention, dressed in a gown she’ll never wear again—she’s not simply disappointed, she’s shattered into a thousand pieces.” She pointed a finger at him. “And sometimes those pieces can’t ever be put together again.”
Ben ran a hand over his head. “Thanks, Aunt Nora, that makes me feel a whole lot better.”
“Sorry, but you need to tread carefully and be extra kind and understanding. This isn’t just getting in touch with an old flame, you know.”
“I know. At least, I thought I did. I’m not so sure anymore.”
“Are you sure this plan of yours is necessary?”
He nodded. “I can’t move forward with my life until I find some closure with Olivia. The guilt gets heavier every day.”
His aunt sighed. “Tell me—is talking to Olivia all you want?”
He couldn’t honestly answer yes. Yesterday he’d been positive of his reasons for coming to Blessing; now, after seeing Olivia again, being near her, he knew his heart was still held in her hand. “It’s all I can expect.”
Nora reached out and laid her hand on his. “What about you, Ben? Are you going to be able to handle this? Are you strong enough? I don’t want you being overwhelmed and falling back into that dark place again.”
“I won’t. I got the all clear from my doctor and I’m well equipped to handle anything that comes up. Promise. Don’t worry.”
“I was never sure of your reason for walking out on the wedding. Did you get cold feet?”
Ben shook his head and studied his hands. He wasn’t ready to share the details. He was saving that for Olivia’s ears only. “No. I realized that all I really wanted was for Olivia to be happy and I knew I wasn’t the one to do that.”
“You didn’t know that for certain.”
“I did. I had no idea how to be a good husband and be faithful to one woman. Dad is working on wife number five. Mom was always gone on her latest new age retreat. I wanted to give Olivia a real marriage, but I had no idea how to do that.”
“I’ll pray that you and she can find a common meeting place.”
As usual Aunt Nora’s meal was perfection and Ben left the kitchen satisfied and waiting for the cookies she promised to bake a little later. The living room was quiet and comfortable with a wide front window that looked out at the light blue bungalow across the street. Olivia’s house. Her car was parked at the curb in front, and the lights from inside gave the little home an inviting appearance. He’d like to be inside, sitting with her, going over the day’s events, but it was a dream he shouldn’t encourage.
He thought about what Nora had told him. He knew leaving Olivia on their wedding day was a cruel thing to do, but had he underestimated how deeply he’d hurt her?
He sensed his aunt enter the room.
“I see you parked in the back of the house. When will you tell her that you live across the street?”
Ben turned away. “When the time is right.”
She placed a plate of warm cookies on the coffee table. “Kiddo, the time is never right.”
He had a feeling her words held more truth than either realized. There was so much he wanted to tell Olivia, but he doubted if the right time would ever come. Not a second time. He’d lost the right to hope for that three years ago.
