One Month to Become a Mum
Autor
Louisa George
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12
CHAPTER ONE
JESSICA PRICE dived deep into her brother’s back-yard pool and savoured the cool water.
Heat burnt into her eyes.
Damn.
Pain stabbed behind her eyeballs.
She breaststroked to the pool edge and rubbed her face, squeezed the water from her eyes. And again. Tried to focus across the garden, but saw nothing except a series of blurred shadows. Soft edges.
Slipping out of the pool, she stumbled to the outside shower, breath stuttering as ice-cold water doused her face.
That pool should come with a health warning. She’d have to check the chemical balance before she got into it again. Tired frustration limped through her jet-lagged muscles. So much for a relaxing swim after a zillion hours on a plane.
‘Hello? Is someone there?’
The squeak of the gate and the man’s voice had her grabbing a towel and on alert. And so much for her craved-for peace and quiet. Go away. ‘Er…hello?’
She switched off the tap, wrapped the towel around her waist and glanced down at her stomach. Well covered. Good. Otherwise whisky-warm-voice man would have a view he’d be unlikely to forget in a hurry.
One glimpse of her scars would leave the poor guy with nightmares. Not as bad as hers, but disturbing enough.
‘Hello?’ she said again, trying to focus on the blurry image in front of her. She tilted her chin upwards and pretended she was used to entertaining strangers while dressed in four-year-old saggy-bottomed togs and her brother’s faded All Blacks towel. ‘Can I help you?’
‘If you’re planning on a swim, forget it,’ the tall smudge said. ‘I just chucked ten litres of chlorine in.’
‘Too late, mate. No wonder my eyeballs feel like melting marshmallows skewered on sharp sticks.’ She pointed to her eyes and hoped they didn’t look as red as they felt. ‘Where I grew up, pool boys left notes if there were excessive chemicals in the pool. It’s beyond dangerous. Imagine if a child had jumped in…’
‘And where I grew up we introduced ourselves before we hurled insults around.’ The warmth in his voice vanished, replaced with a tone as cold as the shower water. ‘I’m not your damned pool boy. I’m Luke McKenzie.’
The dramatic pause he left hanging in the air made her think she should know that name. The gravitas he projected made her think everyone should know that name.
Some NZ idol perhaps? A rugby player? It was lost on her. Two years in the Asian hinterland had her out of step with Kiwi celebrities. ‘Yes? And?’
‘Your brother’s business partner?’
‘Ah…Now you come to mention it…’ Her cheeks burned as recognition wrestled with embarrassment for prime place in her jet-lag-numbed brain. Big brother Zac had left a note. She’d scanned it as she’d thrown her rucksack down, but hadn’t paid much attention.
Luke. The doctor.
Tragic, really. With that frost-tinged dark-velvet voice he was wasted in medicine. ‘So you’re that Luke.’
‘And I assume you’re Jessie? You weren’t supposed to arrive from Outer Mongolia—or wherever it was you were finding yourself—until tomorrow.’
‘I was not finding myself. I was working in Vietnam.’ Nice voice, shame about the manners. Typical, but when Zac had begged her to babysit his general practice he’d forgotten to mention she’d be working with Captain Grump. ‘I thought I’d get an earlier plane and catch Zac before he headed off. No such luck.’
‘He left yesterday. Wanted to get an extra night in Queenstown—the parties are legendary.’ The stinging concentrated into a fierce ache behind her eyes. The Blur seemed to get larger. She guessed he’d come closer as a hint of warm citrus and spice male scent hung in the humid air. Very disconcerting. She tried not to inhale.
‘Your eyes look hellish. You might need to sloosh them with cold water.’
‘You don’t say?’
‘I do. So you’d better come with me.’ Before she could argue, a solid hand steered her into the kitchen and stood her next to the sink.
She shrugged him off. Perfecting the art of keeping her distance from tall, overconfident men had taken a lot of willpower over the last two years. She had no intention of changing that now, melting eyeballs or not. ‘Seriously, I’m fine. I can manage.’
‘Good job I came back when I did. Chlorine fumes can make you pretty sick. You look cold.’
‘Geez, I wonder why.’
He wrapped a towel around her shoulders, apparently oblivious to her shrugging or sarcasm.
In fact, he was surprisingly gentle. Assured and persistent. With a tender touch. Three qualities she’d once admired in a man, then learnt to avoid at all costs. A heady mix experience told her was a recipe for disaster.
Please go. Jessie clutched the towel tightly round her middle, wishing she had something more appropriate to wear. Even though her swimsuit almost covered her from neck to knee, and looked like something Great-Auntie Joan might have worn back in the day, she felt sure her scars were visible. She tried to steal a look but the pain was worse if she moved her eyeballs. ‘I’ve travelled the world on my own. I can manage an eye bath.’
‘Stop arguing and tip your head over the basin. I promised Zac I’d look after you.’
‘I’m not sure blinding his sister was quite what he had in mind.’ Even though her eyes burnt like merry hell she couldn’t help responding to the surprise of his laughter. It had a deep quality to it that resounded around the kitchen, absorbing her ill humour. She couldn’t stop a giggle as she held her palms up. ‘Okay, I’m tipping. I’m tipping.’
‘Are you always this melodramatic? I’m only trying to help.’ Whereas most men ran a mile from her barbed comments, Luke seemed amused. Why weren’t her well-honed distancing techniques working today?
‘You’d be more help if you left.’
‘Yes, quite the drama queen. Zac didn’t warn me about that.’
‘How dare…?’ Ice water trickled down her face and silenced her retort. It was directed expertly into her eyes and down her hairline. Captain Grump supported her head, stroking her wet hair out of the way, his face only inches from hers. His breath, quickening with every movement, grazed her throat.
Hard muscles brushed against her hip as he curled around her to fill the measuring cup. Warm hands cupped her face as he wiped the water dripping down her chin.
At his touch a weird kind of buzz zinged along her nerve pathways. A buzz that made her want to see his features properly, the colour of his eyes.
Jessie swallowed. Get a grip. Since when did eye colour matter? He was an overbearing doctor with little regard for personal space. Although, she conceded, he’d probably see it as dealing with minor trauma.
The last time she was this close to a guy she’d been pumelling Michael’s doughy backside with her fists after discovering him having desk sex with the admin assistant. A direct result, he’d insisted, of Jessie’s inability to meet his needs.
Looking back, she chose to see the scenario as funny, but she’d learnt the hard way about bombastic doctors with soft hands. So buzzing and zinging were totally off limits.
She shoved both the tacky image of Michael’s dimpled bottom and Captain Grump away, then dried her eyes on the towel, grappling for breathing space.
‘That’s great now. Thanks. You can go.’
‘Aw, and I was having so much fun.’ His own sarcasm wasn’t missed by her. ‘I’m going. But if your eyes don’t get better, you should get them checked over.’
‘You betcha.’
‘And if you need anything, just holler.’
‘Will do.’
‘And Zac asked me to show you around.’
‘Another time.’ Like never?
‘Sure.’ He sounded relieved. ‘We’re just across the way, the old white villa.’
Across the way. Great, she’d moved into Wisteria Lane. All nosey neighbours and picture-perfect families. Just what she didn’t need. Still, at least that meant he was probably married with a dozen kids—thank the Lord. Someone else to bother with his electric touch and alluring scent.
She’d make sure she wouldn’t need anything. ‘Absolutely, next time I want my eyes burning out of my skull I’ll be right over.’
Through the haze she noted a half-smile.
‘Otherwise I’ll meet you in the cul de sac, Monday, eight o’clock sharp. I can show you the main sights, bring you up to speed with the practice on the drive to work.’ He turned and walked to the door, his long legs covering the distance in no time.
‘Hey, wait…’ The familiar unease Jessie thought she’d conquered tightened in her stomach. Get in a car with him? Get in a car, period? Her worst nightmare.
Flying, cycling, walking. She could do those, no problem. But driving in an unfamiliar car? Not if she could help it. ‘I’d planned to walk. Zac said it’s not far.’
‘We’re always busy Monday morning and I’ve a lot to tell you. Eight o’clock.’ His smile melted and his voice became serious and controlled.
Clearly he was a man used to getting his own way. He stood filling the doorway, one hand resting on the wall. The other hung at his side. Capable hands. Safe. No doubt his driving skills were satisfactory. Surely. Besides, she didn’t know the route. Driving would be fine. She shrugged her agreement. Just this once.
* * *
Much against her better judgement, Jessie found herself in the cul de sac, clenching and unclenching her fists, Monday morning at eight o’clock. Sharp.
As far as first days went, this was turning into a real doozie. Right up there with the first day of her first period and the first day of double braces.
Damn and double damn.
She glimpsed him on the first-floor decking. ‘Hey, Luke. Could I have a quick word before we go?’
He peered down over the neat wisteria-clad balcony. ‘Sure. You okay, Jessie?’
‘No, I’m not okay. Can you come down here?’ Sliding her hands on her hips, she drew herself up to her full five feet three. So not enough. ‘This feels like a scene from a Shakespeare play. And you’re not pretty enough to be Juliet.’
In what felt like a nano-second he was towering over her. She gulped. Actually—mortifyingly—gulped. Pretty didn’t come close. Try devastating.
He looked like he’d stepped out of the pages of a razor-blade advert, all proud jaw, taut muscles and tight thighs. Neat and functional dark cropped hair, the complete opposite of her chaotic mop. A pale blue polo shirt and dark grey chinos completed the look of casual professionalism. Every inch the perfect community doctor. Her heart kicked into super-hyper-majorly fast tachycardia.
Her lips dried. Her mouth dried. She spluttered.
Breathe. She found her self-control and pushed it centre stage. No way was she going to be bamboozled by a pretty face. Not again. Dragging a hand across her stomach, she felt the ridged skin and shoved back the memories. Nothing like a gnarly scar to keep a girl centred.
‘Don’t worry, forget it. We’re going to be late.’
‘Whoa!’ Luke’s eyebrows peaked as he so obviously tried to hide a smirk. And failed. ‘Man. Your hair.’
‘That obvious, huh?’ Her heart sank. ‘You and your hefty dose of chlorine have turned my hair…’
‘Green? This is bad.’ Bad? Judging by the grin splitting his irritatingly gorgeous chiseled cheeks, this was the most fun he’d had with a locum for a while.
‘Go ahead, laugh.’
‘Okay, if you insist.’
She nodded as despair toyed with the fading traces of her good humour. She’d so hoped she could do Zac proud. Coming to North Beach had been the first step towards family reconciliation. And she’d been only too pleased to help out, but now look. One step away from utter humiliation.
‘Believe me, this is way better than it was. I spent all of yesterday researching cures on the internet and then washing it in different stuff. Tomato paste, baking soda and vinegar. One by one. Over and over.’
Frizz stood out from the sides of her head like unruly garden twine. She tried to smooth it down with her palm. ‘If your patients complain about me smelling like a salad dressing, you know why.’
He leaned close and sniffed the top of her head. His soap and shampoo scent had a hint of cinnamon and apple. Freshly laundered cotton strained over broad shoulders as he bent towards her. Shoulders that could take the weight of the world, she imagined, and muscles that were well looked after.
His proximity tormented her fraying nerves and flagging willpower. Her hermitic lifestyle suited her just fine, but sometimes, on very rare occasions, she craved a shoulder to lean against. The comfort of human contact.
And suddenly she had a strange urge to nestle into the crook of his neck—if only she could reach—and breathe every six-feet-too-many-inches of him in. She sighed, hating herself for even thinking of breaking the promises she’d made to herself. Especially with someone so…male.
Was she really that frazzled? It was only a bit of green hair, after all.
‘I can’t smell anything untoward.’ Luke ran a hand over his chin as he regarded her with mock concern. ‘Dr Price, I’d like to say your green hair is hardly noticeable but, actually, it is rather loud.’
‘If you’d left a note I wouldn’t have dived into that pool,’ she insisted, laughing despite her misgivings. ‘This is all your fault.’
‘Sure.’ He nodded, his lips curving upwards. ‘That’s right, blame the helping guy.’
‘I’d hate to see what damage you’d do if you were deliberately trying, then.’
‘There we go with the melodrama again.’ Luke laughed. She was so not what he’d expected. Zac was so laid-back he was horizontal, but his sister was wound as tight as her green-blonde corkscrew hair. Her dark blue eyes had a keep-your-distance glare, and too much sadness for someone so young. She wore a flimsy navy blouse, and snug black pants that clung to those interesting curves he’d glimpsed the other day.
A thumb hooked through her trouser belt loop and her chin tilted at a defiant angle. Not the most feminine stance, and yet everything about her screamed sensual woman. She was like a fiery pixie, small in stature, big on personality. With a very sharp tongue.
Which, frankly, he could do without. It was taking up way too much of his time. Jessie might turn out to be a damned fine locum, but he couldn’t wait until Zac came back and order was restored.
A spark of daring in those dark eyes danced in the dappled early morning light. ‘So, do you still want me?’
‘What?’ He cleared his throat in an attempt to stem a surge of good old male heat. What red-blooded guy wouldn’t?
He stepped back. And again. Sure, he’d promised Zac to be nice and keep an eye on her, but he needed to force some space. She had an intriguing edgy vulnerability, something he’d learnt to avoid at all costs. ‘What kind of question is that?’
‘A simple one. I used words of one syllable just to keep it easy for you.’ An eyebrow peaked as she pursed her lips. ‘You seem a little…distracted. I said, seeing as I look like an advert for swamp chic, do you still want me at the surgery?’
‘Oh, I suppose. Zac says you’re a very capable doctor. And we are desperate.’ She didn’t look like she’d be able to lift a scalpel let alone old enough to use one. But somehow, he guessed, she’d know exactly where to stick that blade.
‘I ready, Daddy.’ Lucy appeared at the front door, clutching her pink rucksack. Luke’s heart squeezed. He turned to give his little girl his full attention. ‘Hey, sweetheart.’
‘Who’s dat?’
He picked her up and hugged her close, relishing the feel of his wriggling daughter. Tentatively he was navigating his way through the chaos of solo parenting. The initial gaping hole of disbelief and—at times—outright fear had been filled by a bundle of mischief that demanded his full attention, gave him all of his joy. And most of his stress.
‘Have you got your books? Water bottle? Lunchbox?’ He ticked off her daily requisites. ‘Inhaler? Spare pants?’
Her head bobbed up and down proudly. ‘Yes, Daddy. All things.’
‘Good girl. That list we made helps, eh?’ Would he ever remember everything? Each day, it seemed, her needs changed. She was growing so fast and he was running to catch up.
He breathed in her strawberry anti-tangle shampoo scent and tickled her ribs. She squealed and squirmed as he held on tight. No other female would ever feel this good in his arms.
‘Now, this lady is Jessie. She’s Uncle Zac’s sister and she’s going to help me at work.’
‘Jessie, this is my daughter.’ He turned round to see Jessie’s smirk replaced with abject sadness. Tears pricked her eyes. She looked for a second as if her whole world had collapsed.
Then she lifted her chin and tapped her watch. ‘Oh. Goodness. Late.’
Deep crimson flushed her cheeks. She flashed a lacklustre half-smile, abruptly stalked to the car and climbed into the passenger seat with no further word.
He followed, irked by her strange reaction. Clipping Lucy safely into her car seat, he bit back a retort. Jessie had obviously been thrown by the sight of his daughter.
But why? Why had she suddenly changed from feisty to flustered?
He slammed the door, unwittingly startling Lucy. Then he blew his daughter a kiss through the window and she wiggled her open palm back. He glanced at the front passenger seat. How was Jessie reacting to that?
No. Stop.
This was exactly the reason women were off the menu—he didn’t have time to waste worrying about what other people thought, whether he’d said or done the wrong thing. He’d learnt pretty rapidly that, where women were concerned, nothing was the right thing. One failed marriage later and he would not be repeating the experience.
So he was not going to grace Jessie’s strange actions with a question. The less he got involved with her, the better.
He climbed into the driver’s seat, gunned the engine and pulled into the road. ‘Everyone okay and ready to go?’
‘Fine.’ Jessie hung onto the doorhandle and practised her deep-breathing exercises. She could not bring herself to look over her shoulder at the little girl in the back seat. Or at Luke’s speedometer. Or at his face. Her hasty retreat to the car had probably appeared rude. Judging by his flattened expression, Luke thought she was a complete fruit loop. She so desperately wanted to get out and walk.
Absolutely the number-one doozie of first days.
Any chance of a rewind? Preferably back to that brief email conversation with Zac where she’d agreed to come and help. Building bridges was all well and good, but there was a limit. Cars and babies were hers. And now she could add green hair to the list.
‘You don’t look fine.’ He glanced at her white knuckles. ‘Something wrong?’
‘No.’
‘First-day nerves?’
‘Yeah. Something like that.’
She’d done enough navel-gazing and healing to last a lifetime and was proud of her strength and resilience. So she was surprised at the force of her reaction when she’d seen the little ankle-biter today. Usually she coped well with children, if prepared. It wasn’t that she disliked them, far from it. But after her accident she couldn’t have them.
Which meant she had to suck up her dreams and get on with her new life. She breathed away the shafts of pain arrowing her solar plexus. Sometimes the brave face she plastered on every day felt a little less brave than she’d like.
Luke slammed his foot on the accelerator and surged onto the highway into speeding traffic. ‘Ha! There’s often a mini rush-hour at this time. The trick is to nudge in quickly, then we’re high and dry.’
‘Whoa. Any chance of taking it easy?’ Jessie’s heart rate notched into hyperdrive as she pumped her foot on an imaginary brake and scanned around for oncoming out-of-control traffic. ‘Or has NASCAR shifted to North Beach?’
He shot a glance at her then focused again on the road. ‘Sorry. Vietnam’s legendary traffic chaos got you spooked?’
‘No, I just don’t like going fast. It’s all good now.’ Good now they were travelling in a long line of traffic at no faster than a snail’s pace. Yes, tomorrow she’d walk.
‘Da-a-addy?’ Lucy’s voice was more whimper than whine.
‘Yes, honey?’ Double-chocolate fudge dripped through his response. There was no doubting his affection for his little girl. Love oozed through every word.
‘Is Jess the Grinch?’
‘No! Lucy!’ A sharp intake of breath accompanied his stifled laugh. Jessie could have sworn he blushed. If men did that kind of thing. She was out of practice with what men did, or didn’t do. Michael had certainly never blushed. Even when caught with his pants down. She shuddered. Cling onto that image and she’d never look at a man again.
‘I’m sorry Jessie, she didn’t mean it.’ Luke laughed again. ‘You’re nothing like the Grinch.’
‘The what? Okay, tell me, what the heck is a Grinch?’
‘It’s a…well, it’s an evil green creature…’ Luke flicked her a wry smile and shrugged apologetically. Although he didn’t look remotely sorry. ‘It’s a character in a kid’s story who tries to steal Christmas. Pretty scary stuff when you’re two.’
‘Great. So my hair will be giving the children nightmares and the oldies heart attacks!’ She pigged her eyes and put on a witchy voice. ‘Then my work here will be done.’
‘Ah, is that what’s eating you? Seriously? The hair? Don’t worry.’ His smile softened. ‘You’ll be fine. I’m sure.’
‘I wish I could believe you.’ Jessie stole a look at his profile. Tiny lines edged his temple. Above the curve of his lip she noticed a diminutive dimple, just small enough to fit the end of her little finger, or the tip of her tongue.
Whoa, that had come out of left field. She pushed it straight back there. Fleetingly something hot shifted in her stomach, like a million butterflies flexing their wings.
Strange. Butterflies? Maybe she did have first-day nerves after all.
From the back of the car Lucy’s laughter turned into a cough. A tight whistling wheeze, she noted, on exhalation. A chesty rattle. And again. Then it was gone.
A shadow fell over Luke’s face, his features froze in concern. Just watching his reaction made Jessie’s heart slam against her ribcage.
‘Lucy? You okay, baby?’
‘Okay, Daddy.’ She coughed some more.
Jessie twisted to get a glimpse of the toddler and check her pallor. But Luke had clipped her directly behind Jessie’s seat. All she managed to see was a pair of chubby legs stuffed into bright red Mary-Janes.
Her heart fluttered and she calmed it. It was just a cough. Lots of kids had them. Why was she thinking of getting involved? The kid’s father was a doctor and sitting right there. ‘She’s probably having a panic attack at sharing a ride with a green-haired Christmas-stealing creature.’
‘No. It’s fragile asthma.’ A frown furrowed his forehead as he glanced at his daughter in the driver’s mirror for the tenth time. ‘Spent a few nights in hospital over the years. Never want to go there again. The spacer is our friend.’ He winked at Lucy. ‘Hey, honey? Cough better now?’
‘Yes, Daddy.’
‘Good girl.’ He smiled stiffly as he steered the car into a kowhai-flanked car park in front of a smart colonial-style villa. Yellow flowers glittered in the sunshine. ‘It’s triggered by stress, excitement, fear—you know, the usual suspects…’
‘Scary stuff.’ She’d seen too many parents eaten away by worry, watching their child struggle for breath. Luke would be the same. No one could take childhood asthma lightly. ‘Maybe you should take some time out with her. Do you want me to check her over?’
‘I do the checking.’ He jumped out of the car, his expression still closed. He looked across the roof and fixed her with a grey stare. ‘She’s my daughter, my responsibility. I’ll walk her round to crèche, settle her in, then meet you in the staff kitchen. Ten minutes.’
‘Oh. Okay. Bye, Lucy.’ Jessie blinked at the fast-disappearing pair lost in each other as they walked hand in hand round the corner. Her suggestion of help had brought a weirdly abrupt end to their conversation. Clearly Luke was fiercely protective where his daughter was concerned and didn’t welcome any kind of support. Even so, understanding his curt response didn’t make it sting any less.
She hauled her bag onto her shoulder and turned to the surgery. That was as far as she would allow her thoughts to go on the matter.
Exhaling deeply, she pushed open the white-painted door and stepped into a sunny reception area. The familiar smell of disinfectant immediately cemented her focus.
This environment was where she felt most at home, behind the mask of her job. Three weeks here, four weeks there, scraping enough to fund her charity work. Helping people. Saving lives. This was her calling, her life.
She slicked a hand over her chaotic curls and breathed in her professional calm. Green hair or not, she was here to do a job, not expend energy on a distraction like Luke McKenzie.
