Alpha Jasper Book 2
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Midika Crane
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Chapter Twenty-Eight
Thea
Jasper is pacing in front of me.
Iām perched on the edge of the bed, my leg stretched out in front of me. The blanket is still wrapped around my waist, but honestly, I donāt care anymore.
My mind is a whirlpool of thoughts. Iām trying to find my place in all of this, but Iām failing, leaving me feeling hollow and numb.
āI donāt want to die,ā I whisper, watching Jasper as he thinks.
Malik has given us some space to talk things through, to discuss how Jasper is going to end my life.
But the moment we are alone, the reality of the situation hits us both. Jasper realizes heās going to have to stop my heart from beating, and I realize this is really happening.
āIām sorry to have dragged you into this mess,ā Jasper murmurs, finally coming to a stop. Iāve never seen him look so lost, so distraught in a situation.
He isnāt holding himself together as well as Iāve seen him do, and it doesnāt help my jittering nerves.
I take a deep breath, trying to fill my lungs. āItās not your fault. If it wasnāt for you... I would be dead by now.ā
Jasper pauses, before doing something surprising. He falls to his knees right in front of me.
Can he look under my blanket? Yes. Do I care? Not in the slightest. Thereās so much emotion in his eyes, itās overwhelming.
The man kneeling in front of me shows something Iāve never seen in a man in my life: honesty, integrity, and something signifying a tie to me. He truly does care about me, even if only in this moment.
āIām going to make this as painless as possible for you,ā he promises, and I donāt hesitate in believing him. āWe can put you to sleep first...ā
Instantly I shake my head, the image of a needle piercing my skin flashing in my mind. Just the thought makes me queasy, my mind spinning for a few seconds at the simple idea of it. Storms and needles are my biggest fear.
Whoever invented such a painful mechanism of administering medication is my worst nightmare.
āI canāt... anything but that,ā I mutter, still shaking my head at him, to help him understand my point.
Jasperās jaw clenches, and I can almost see him sifting through ideas of ways to kill me. A morbid subject, but I would rather be strangled to death than have a needle pierce my skin.
It may be strange in some peopleās eyes, but this is a fear Iāve had since a child.
āThatās okay,ā Jasper reassures me. āI could drown you...ā
I cringe just at the sound of it, but it hardly measures to needles, in my eyes. Water isnāt something Iām all that familiar with.
Sure, it is a necessary commodity, but I havenāt spent much time swimming in it.
āThe more you talk, the more normal dying seems to be,ā I say breathily, trying to bring some comedy into the situation. Jasper smiles, despite himself.
āSo how does it work? And how are you going to bring me back?ā
There hasnāt really been a time where Iāve questioned Jasper much on his powers and what he is capable of, except for the time when we first met.
Honestly, just thinking about what he could do to me in a single instant makes me nervous, uncertainty toward his every move being something I want to keep an eye on.
Especially after that moment we had in the bedroom. With his hands down my pantsā¦
āI have to bite you,ā he tells me warily. My eyes widen. āItās the way of the curse. It has nothing to do with the bite of a mate. If thatās what youāre worried about.ā
Am I worried about him accidentally marking me? Thatās hardly on my mind right now.
Being mated to Jasper wouldnāt be the worst thing in the world anyway, since Iāve given up hopes of finding my mate, and I donāt know about Jasperās.
āIām not worried about that. How did you die?ā
Jasperās face suddenly shadows, and I can tell Iāve just brought up a sore subject. He was killed by his father... or at least, thatās what legends told me.
Admittedly, I donāt know much about his legend, considering I never bothered to learn about it. Especially not in as much depth as June did.
āI was stabbed.ā
We both stay silently for a moment. Jasper is still on his knees in front of me, and doesnāt look as if heās about to move any time soon.
āIām sorry,ā I tell him. Jasper looks down, and I see heās hiding emotion from me. I can hardly blame him... being stabbed is so... intimate. And by your own father?
It pains even me just thinking about it. Especially since Iām familiar with having a terrible father.
āThey say drowning is like falling asleep, although no one can be completely sure if that is true,ā Jasper tells me, pushing away any further talk about his father. I donāt mind...ā
Like falling asleep? Thatās something I am good at.
āIf itās going to be less painful than death by whatever poison that Desire Pack member gave me, then I donāt mind at all,ā I tell him honestly.
The pain in my leg comes and goes, and when it does come, itās disorientating, leaving my mind spinning, and my body quivering.
āTomorrow... Thatās when it has to be done,ā he tells me, and reluctantly, I nod. I want to ask him so many different questions about what itās like to be dead.
What itās like to be a Phantom Wolf, but he cuts me off.
Jasper moves forward suddenly, back onto his feet. He places his hands on either side of me, on the bed, leaning directly over me. All the breath in my lungs disappears.
āI canāt stop thinking about that night,ā Jasper whispers.
The atmosphere in the room flips on its head. The stern Alpha, who was just talking about my impending death, has vanished. In his place is a playful, sensual man who I canāt tear my gaze from.
His closeness lets me feel the warmth radiating from his body, his face just a breath away from mine. His heated breath brushes lightly against my cheek, and if I shift even a fraction, our lips will meet.
The mere thought sends my heart into a frenzy, and a flood of inappropriate thoughts that cloud my mind make me thankful Jasper has vowed to stop reading it.
āI canāt either,ā I respond, my voice barely a whisper, my cheeks heating at my own words. How can one man make me feel so flustered?
Without even a touch, Iām utterly captivated.
Thea! Pull yourself together.
āYour last day alive will be the best one youāve ever had,ā Jasper assures me, his voice soft and soothing. I find myself believing every word he says. āI'll make sure of it.ā
His gaze drops to my lips, and for a moment, Iām convinced heās going to kiss me.
That heās going to acknowledge the undeniable attraction between us thatās been simmering since we met.
Itās a fiery kind of chemistry that even I canāt ignore, despite my past experiences with sexual partners. Jasper is different ā¦
Heās already shown me that.
So whatās holding me back? As I watch him, biting his lip gently, I wonder why Iām not throwing myself at him.
Luca! His eyes suddenly invade my thoughts, a whirlwind of dark colors and potent memories.
I recoil.
And I break.
āWoah! Woah, woah!ā Jasper cries out in surprise, as I scramble backward across the bed, until my back hits the headboard.
The sting of Lucaās hand against my raw skin returns, as I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to banish him. His shadow towers over me, his eyes dark with pure rage.
His cruel smile is unmistakable. Familiar.
I can sense someone next to me, but Iām frozen, my body paralyzed. Tears scorch hot trails down my cheeks; they pull me further in, deeper into that night.
That night when LucaĢ¶Ģ¶Ģ¶ ā¦
āThea, itās okay,ā I hear Jasperās voice in my ear. I take a deep breath, and Iām back. Iām here, in the present.
Burying my face in Jasperās chest, I donāt care about the tear stains on his shirt. I donāt care about his confusion. Heās here. Heās real, and I crave that.
Pushing him onto the bed, I wrap my arms around his slim waist and let the tears flow.
I let out the emotion Iāve kept hidden all my life. From my friends, from my family.
āIām not going anywhere,ā Jasper whispers softly, as I cling to him. My anchor, my solid ground.
Heās not going anywhere, and as my breathing starts to steady, the blood stops pounding in my ears, I hear him.
I let him play with a strand of my hair. āTalk to me.ā
My voice is stuck in my throat. Like it always is ā¦
Slowly, I pull away. Hair clings to my damp cheeks, my eyes are swollen, and my throat. Looking at Jasper, I see his concern, I see his worry. But he wonāt understand, no one can understand.
āIām fine,ā I manage to choke out, the lie clearly not fooling Jasper.
Doubt is written all over his face. āWhat happened, Thea? You were fine, now youāre clearly upset. Talk to me, please, I canāt stand seeing you like this.ā
I swipe my hands across my cheeks, taking a deep breath to compose myself. This isnāt my first recovery, and it wonāt be my last. Iām stronger than this. Iām strong on my own.
Jasper may have pulled me out of the trance, but Iām not about to confess to him what Luca did to me.
The past is the past.
āPromise me you wonāt read my mind,ā I say quickly, but firmly.
Getting to my feet, I quickly cross the room, clutching the blanket tightly to me. Bending down, I rummage through the few things that I brought with me, searching for some longer pants to wear.
Anything to cover this ugly, painful scar, inflicted on me by an equally ugly and painful man.
āOf course,ā Jasper says, still sitting on the bed, stunned.
When I glance back at him, heās looking at me, strangely. His shirt has a telltale wet patch on it from my tears, and his hair is tousled.
Confusion clouds his eyes, and it would make sense to clear it. But I canāt bring myself to admit it.
āDid I hurt you?ā He asks, standing from the bed. I shake my head, and he seems slightly relieved by that. āThen what is it?ā
I shake my head at him. āPlease, not now...ā
āThen later,ā he insists, walking closer. This time, he leaves a decent amount of space between us. Heās giving me time to think, and Iām grateful for that.
But still, he gently prods me for a reason for my breakdown.
āThis is meant to be a good day,ā I tell him, trying to change the subject. Anything but to address... that.
He sighs deeply, running his hands back through his hair. I watch his expression soften, as he realizes heās not going to get anything out of me.
Iām showing him I can be strong, even if he has no idea why Iām so desperate to.
āYou have to tell me eventually,ā he murmurs. āToday will be a good day for you, I promise. And tonight, thereās something you need to know, before weā¦ proceed with this.ā
