Unfortunate Friends 1: My Best Frenemy

Andrew

As I walk toward the cafeteria, my phone buzzes in my back pocket. Probably just Drew asking me to get his lunch because he’s gonna be late sucking face with some girl.

To my surprise, it’s Jake’s name on my screen.

“S’up, dude.”

“Hey, Andy.” He pauses, and then his voice drops an octave. “Hey, dude, are you wearing a light jacket, like a summer jacket? Kinda grayish blue? And dark jeans?”

I stop walking and look down at myself.

“Uh…yeah. Are you fucking psychic, dude? Because that’s some freaky guesswork.”

“And are you wearing black converse with red laces?” He chuckles, and then I feel a heavy hand land on my shoulder. I jump and spin around to find Jake laughing at me, his phone still up to his ear.

“Dick!” I push him, then grin and pull him in for a back-slapping hug. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I’m the handsome new transfer student you’ve no doubt been hearing about.” He smirks.

“I’ve heard about some reject from Frankenstein’s lab transferring here, but no word on a handsome one.”

Jake pouts for a second before the grin reappears on his face. “Fuck you, Andy. Anyways I’m meeting George for lunch. Wanna come with?”

“Wait, George goes here too? Huh, must be in a lower grade cause I don’t know any seniors called George.”

Jake looks at me funny.

“Well, come on, let’s go meet him.”

“Yeah…let’s meet…him.” Jake chuckles.

We walk into the crowded, noisy cafeteria, and Jake looks around.

“Over there.” He points to the back of the room. All I can see is bitch face Gina all alone, looking down at her phone.

We walk through the throngs of hungry students. We seem to be walking toward her. I look at the other tables near her, but I can name everyone sitting on them—nobody called George on any of them.

“George!” Jake calls out, lifting his hand in a wave.

Gina looks up, smiling brightly.

She should smile more, her genuine smile not the snarky smirk she usually wears. ~

“Jakey!” She then notices me next to him, and her face falls. “What the fuck is he doing with you?”

“This is my friend, Andy.” Jake sits down, pulling me slightly until I plop down onto the bench next to him. She screws her nose up at him.

“Andy ~is AJ fucking McGabe. The asshole who has made my life a misery since I moved here?!” Gina’s eyes shimmer slightly, and she blinks back what I think are tears.

“George isn’t a guy? Your best friend is Gina Evans?!” I shake my head, wincing at all the fucked up things I’ve said to Jake about Gina at camp.

“Wait, wait, wait…” Jake looks between us. “This is queen bitch Gina, and this is fucking little man whore AJ?” He starts to chuckle.

Gina opens her mouth, no doubt to poison Jake against me some more. Luckily we are saved by Drew and PJ loudly making their presence known at the table.

I introduce Jake to them while Gina glowers at us.

“Why did you tell Jake your name is Andy?” Gina hisses at me.

“Because my name is Andy.” I raise my eyebrows in surprise that she didn’t know that.

But I guess she only transferred in freshman year, and most of the rest of us have been together through middle school, if not earlier. “Andrew James McGabe. We shortened it to AJ to avoid confusion.”

“Andrew Robinson.” Drew gestures to himself. “And Andrew Paul Jones.” He gestures to PJ, who nods. “Three Andrews in one class gets confusing real quick, so we modified our names.”

Jake laughs loudly. “I can’t believe you thought my George was a guy all these years.”

I shake my head and grin at him. “You never corrected me when I used male pronouns.”

He laughs harder.

Gina huffs and stands, picking her bag up. “Jake, come on, we’ll go off campus to get food.”

He shrugs and fist bumps with me and the guys. “Catch you guys later, I guess.”

“She really doesn’t like you, and now you are gonna be fighting her for her best friend’s attention.” PJ shakes his head in mock sadness, following her with his eyes as she links her arm through Jake’s and pulls him out the door.

“From what you’ve said about their relationship, they’re really close. I think you gotta get ready for some friend heartbreak, dude.”

“Nah, man. Gina is not like the George he’s described to me. No way he’s gonna want to hang with her once he knows how much of a bitch she is. Make some room in the Andrew club for a little Jake.”

***

I am surprised when Jake texts me to go to his, I mean Gina’s, house after school the next day. After checking that my dad is still at home to look after the girls, I drive to the address he sends me.

An older version of my friend answers the door, his brown hair streaked with silver and a full beard on his chin. Familiar green eyes crinkle with a deep grin.

“You must be Andy!”

“Hi, yessir. Nice to meet you, Mr. Nelson.” I shake his hand.

“Pfft! Call me James.” He steps back and motions for me to come inside. “I hear you have two close friends called Andy too. Did Jakey tell you my best friend is a James too?”

I smile and shake my head.

“George’s dad. But we call him Jimmy, so it’s not so confusing, just like you guys.”

“Dad! Stop boring my friend and let him come upstairs.” Jake sticks his head down the stairs, his hair flopping over his face.

His dad gives him the finger and chuckles. Now I know where Jake gets his laid-back personality from.

I walk up to where Jake is impatiently jiggling by a closed door.

“My room is just through there. I’m waiting for George to exit the bathroom. Hopefully, before I piss myself.” He hits the door with his palm.

“TMI, dude.” I laugh, push open the door, and make myself comfortable on his bed.

We spend an hour killing each other on Call of Duty before I need to go to the bathroom myself. After finishing, I pause on the landing.

I can hear Gina downstairs talking to her dad and decide to go snoop on her a little. I push open the door next to Jake’s and take in her bedroom.

It’s nothing like I was expecting. I thought it would be all pink and fluffy with a huge walk-in closet overflowing with clothes.

In reality, it’s painted a teal color, but it’s hard to see behind all the posters and framed pictures. So I step in to look at them closer.

Signed framed photos of famous skaters and BMX riders cover one wall, and the one behind her bed is overlaid in photos of her family, lots and lots of her and Jake over the years.

She looks so different. Happy. The other two walls are dotted with posters of musicians. I pick out Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Bob Dylan—none of the shitty pop stars I’ve heard her exclaim over with the cheerleaders.

There is a small closet and a large dresser, which has one drawer slightly open. I peek inside and see neatly folded white cotton underwear. Damn. My favorite. ~

“What the fuck are you doing in my room!”

I spin around to see Gina fuming in the doorway.

Well, at least I think it’s Gina. She’s got her usually perfect hair messily scraped back into a bun, and her miscolored eyes are almost hidden behind a heavy pair of black Ray-Ban glasses.

Her face is absent of the normal layer of makeup, and I can actually see the porcelain skin properly.

In place of her regular, tight revealing clothes are baggy sweatpants and a faded Pixies T-shirt. There’s a bang, and Jake shuffles up behind her, looking confused.

“I…uh…I just got disoriented on my way back from the bathroom.” I smirk and brush past her. “Nice panties, by the way.” I can feel the heat of her glare as she slams the door behind me.

“Dude, don’t rile her up. I’m the poor guy who has to deal with her after you’ve gone home.” Jake pushes me lightly with his shoulder as we walk back into his room.

“Sorry. Look, I know she’s your friend, but she’s such a bitch.” I sit back on the bed and grab the controller.

“Andy, don’t make me beat you for talking bad about my best friend.” Jake puts his hands on his hips, and a look of frustration passes over his face.

I’ve never seen Jake look anything but chilled out before unless we’re playing football, then he’s just plain evil.

“Chill, dude. I’m sorry, ok? No more Gina talk. Strictly bro time in here.”

“Hells yeah!” Jake’s face breaks into a grin again, easily placated, and he grabs the other controller.

***

“Motherfucker!” Jake throws his controller down in frustration as I win and capture the flag again.

A snort from the doorway makes me turn. Gina is leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

“Think you can do better, sweetheart?” I smirk, offering her Jake’s discarded control. “I’ll beat your ass on here as easily as I beat your ass in all of our classes.”

Jake oohs and claps his hands.

“Yeah, right, Aajay.” She smiles slyly and walks over to sit next to me, crossing her legs, her knee lightly touching my thigh.

With running commentary from Jake, the game is dominated by Gina.

When it finishes, I push the control away from me with a growl.

“Was I just hustled?”

“Yup!” Jake pulls Gina in for a tight hug, spinning her around until she squeals to be put down.

I can’t help but smile as she readjusts her crooked glasses back onto her nose, grinning widely at her friend. “George here is kickass at kicking ass.”

“Dork.” Me and Gina speak together. Jake collapses into laughter as we glare at each other. Her cheeks are slightly flushed, and strands of her hair have fallen out from her bun, framing her face.

She’s actually kinda cute. ~

Where did that thought come from? This is queen bitch, the fucking girl who makes it impossible to get through the day without a snide remark. She thinks she’s so much better than everybody else.

“Whatever…loser.” She turns on her heel and leaves, her bedroom door slamming shut a moment later.

***

I managed to do the unthinkable and persuade Coach Johnson to let Jake have a late try-out for the team.

Like promised, we play together as one, him always in the spot I send the ball barreling toward, always catching it perfectly and taking off like a cheetah down the field.

I can tell Coach is impressed by our chemistry, and I can see from the fall of Tony’s shoulders that he knows Coach will bump him for Jake.

During a break, I notice the cheerleaders are looking over at us. I glance over at Jake and find him, topless, chugging back a water. I laugh.

“Jake, man. You’re causing a flood over there.” He follows my gaze to the girls and nearly spits his mouthful out.

“That’s nasty.” He laughs too. “But they’re a no-go area, I’m afraid. George warned me off her friends.”

“That’s bullshit. If you’re playing varsity football, you’re gonna be going to after-game parties, and there you have to fuck the varsity cheerleaders. Gina would know that if she ever graced us with her presence.”

Jake frowns and shakes his head. “Leave her be, man.”

I look back across the field and see Gina storm off toward the change rooms, leaving her trio of blonde clones behind to keep eye-fucking Jake.

“Your loss, dude. The blonde zombies are not much for conversation but can put their mouths to good use elsewhere if you catch my drift.” Jake snorts, and his easy grin spreads over his face again.

“Blonde zombies?”

***

“AJ?” I turn as I get to my car and see Macy, head cheerleader and nearly as big a bitch as Gina, tottering toward me.

“What do you want, Macy?” I sling my bag into the passenger seat.

“You’re friends with the new guy, Jake, right?” She drops her weight onto one leg, making her hip pop, and tilts her head to the side, trying to make her eyes look wider.

God, I hate them when they try to do things they think we find alluring.

“Yeah.” I’m already beyond bored with this conversation.

“Weeelll…I think he’s really cute, but Gina won’t tell me his number or where he lives, and I know she knows him well enough to know.”

I tilt my head slightly. Oh shit! Gina hasn’t told her friends the truth about Jake, hoping to stop them circling him like the sharks they are. I can’t help my mouth from turning up.

I’m so gonna mess with you, sweetheart. ~

“Didn’t she tell you he’s living with her?” I try to sound shocked.

“Really?!” Macy scowls and starts to walk away before turning and making her way back to me. “Hey…do you…um…do you know where Gina lives?” She looks a little embarrassed.

“Isn’t she supposed to be like your best friend?” I really am shocked now. “Have you never had a sexy sleepover?”

“We’ve always gone to other people’s houses. None of us have ever been to hers.” She shrugs like it’s never occurred to her how fucking weird that is.

“Well, yeah. I mean, of course I know where they live. But maybe Gina has her reasons for not telling people where she lives.” Macy gives me a narrow-eyed stare.

“Just tell me the address, McGabe.” She moves closer and leans, so her mouth is closer to my ear. “And maybe me and Robyn will double team you again like last year.”

I picture the two girls writhing around on a bed in front of me. That wasn’t a double team. I was barely tagged in, not that I minded. That was the night of the infamous mid-blowjob vomit.

“Yeah…maybe not, sweetheart.” I firmly push her back and get into my Jeep. As I pull out of the parking space, I can see Macy still pouting at my rejection.

So why has Gina been so secretive with her personal life with her friends for the last four years? Maybe little miss bitch isn’t quite so perfect as she tries to make out. ~