My Girl

SAVANNAH

It’s been a month since I’ve seen Tanner at the club. A whole month of being overly paranoid that I’m going to run into him, especially with Rosie.

Today’s the first day I’ve brought Rosie back to the library. Partly because no one could watch her today and partly because she and Jax both won’t shut up about seeing each other.

“Is he here yet?” Rosie groans for the umpteenth time.

“Not yet, baby. He might not be coming in today,” I tell her gently while looking at the time, 3:42 p.m.

He usually arrives by 3:30 if he is coming. “Do you want to do some coloring while you wait?” I ask, pushing back a curl off her forehead that’s come loose from her ponytail.

“I guess,” she mumbles before sulking off to her little table. Most of me was hoping that he wouldn’t show up, then my secret would be kept. But then a little of me wants him to show, for Rosie.

Exactly twenty minutes later, Jax appears at my desk, sweat dripping off his forehead, panting and red-faced. Did he run here?

“She here?” he asks, not even bothering with a simple “hi.”

“Jax!” Rosie squeals from behind me. His whole face lights up at her little voice, and he moves around the desk to meet her.

“Hello to you too,” I mumble, watching as Jax scoops her up into his arms and gives her a bear hug.

“I missed you. Momma said that I had to stay with Aunt Erin and Gigi and Poppycorn!” she exclaims, holding on tightly to his neck.

“I missed you too,” Jax tells her as he moves her over to rest on his hip.

“Momma, can I go draw with Jax?”

“Please? Please? Please?” she begs when I don’t answer straightaway.

“As long as you don’t annoy him,” I answer with a sigh.

As they walk away, I can’t help but think of the mess I’ve made myself. Why did I keep it a secret for so long?

I should’ve gone to his parents and told them I was pregnant, then maybe they would’ve been in her life, or not. Even then, at least I wouldn’t be the ball of anxiety that I am now.

“You seem worried,” Lydia states while I chew my lip.

“No. I’m fine,” I answer a little too quickly and a little too high-pitched.

“What’s bothering you?” she asks gently.

“Rosie’s father is back in town,” I blurt out before I can stop myself. I instantly want to take back the words, but it’s too late.

“Oh. Does he know?” she asks gently.

“No. He avoided me like the plague when I went to tell him.” I let my head drop down to my lap, ashamed.

“Now you’re avoiding him, I assume?” she states matter-of-factly, and I nod in agreement.

“He saw her. Just one time but I think he knows. I was going to move back to South Carolina, but Erin said I should get a lawyer. I haven’t even told Pete, but he’s a law—” I babble.

It feels strangely good talking about it to someone who isn’t Erin or her family.

“Honey, have you talked to this boy?” Lydia cuts me off.

“No.”

“Well, maybe you should start there.” She chuckles. “Life doesn’t have to be so dramatic,” she adds, glancing over at the pile of returned books and screwing her face up slightly.

“I’ll do those,” I tell her, getting up and grabbing the cart. “It’ll help clear my head,” I tell her when she goes to protest.

As I’m stuffing the books back into their spots on the shelves, my mind starts wondering what would happen if I did try to talk to Tanner. Would he run away again?

But then I could say I tried, and nothing will change. But what if he wants full custody? I’d definitely need a lawyer then.

“Savannah.” I spin around at the sound of someone whispering my name only to be greeted by the man himself. Tanner. He’s standing two steps in front of me.

“Tanner.” I gasp, taking a step back and knocking into the shelf behind me.

“What are you doing here?” he asks with a small frown.

“I work here,” I tell him. “Why are you here?” I ask, looking down at my feet.

“To pick up Jax.” His frown becomes deeper.

“He’s over there.” I nod in their direction.

“With your daughter, right? What was her name again? Oh, that’s right, Rosie,” he says, not giving me a chance to answer.

“Yes,” I whisper.

“She’s three, right?”

“Yes.”

“Interesting that we had sex almost four years ago, then suddenly you have a daughter named Rosie, and I have a grandma called Rosaline that only you knew about. Don’t ya think?” he says, stepping forward and getting too close to me.

I open my mouth to reply, but nothing comes out.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tanner asks through his teeth. My head snaps to his green eyes, anger starting to fill my body.

“I tried to tell you as soon as I found out. You were the one hiding from me,” I snap, my voice rising.

“I never hid from you. You acted like I didn’t exist,” he snaps back instantly.

“I did not! I tried talking to you! You ran!” I practically yell.

“Momma?” Rosie’s voice floats through the library, full of worry.

“Coming,” I call back, not breaking eye contact with Tanner. I shake my head at him before walking off toward Rosie.

How dare he try to blame me for hiding from him? Sure, the first week after we had sex I hid from him, but then Erin convinced me to talk to him. He hid then.

Then five weeks later, when I found out I was pregnant, he sent Mikey my way to tell me in no uncertain terms to fuck off.

“What’s up?” I ask, pushing that damn curl out of her face again, making her huff.

“You were yelling,” she says with a quivering lip.

“I’m sorry, baby. Momma just got a bit upset,” I soothe her. I never yell around Rosie. That’s one of the many things my parents did that I promised I wouldn’t.

“Savannah. Can we please talk?” Tanner interrupts.

“She has a boyfriend, asshole,” Jax snaps, glaring at his brother, and Rosie’s eyes light up at the new swear word.

“Yeah, she has a boyfriend, asshole,” Rosie chirps, looking proud of herself. Jax’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and he looks down at Rosie before giving me an apologetic look.

I open my mouth to tell Rosie off, but she interrupts me.

“I know, Momma. I know. Don’t say naughty words.” She rolls her eyes. “What’s an asshole?” she asks, looking up at Jax who looks at me for help.

“You said it not me.” I shrug, giving him a smirk.

“It’s ah, um, it’s a naughty word.” He settles for making me roll my eyes.

“Is it like butthole?”

“Okay, that’s enough potty words. Go get your bag please,” I tell her with a pointed look.

“Bye, Jax! I'll see you later,” Rosie says, giving him a quick hug before running off behind my desk.

The moment Rosie leaves, tension fills the air.

“I told you I was going for a run. No need to come find me,” Jax spits out, throwing his stuff into his backpack.

“Mom and Dad told me to come get you,” Tanner answers smoothly.

“Like you’ve ever listened to them before.” Jax snorts, standing up.

I glance at Tanner, who rolls his eyes and looks like he’s going to explode with anger. His hands are balled up in tight fists.

Just as I’m about to slip away, Tanner stops in front of me, blocking my path.

“Seriously, dude, leave her alone,” Jax hisses from behind me. I look up at Tanner, who is staring over my head at his brother.

“Shut up,” he snaps before looking down at me. “Can we just talk? Please?” Tanner asks in a much nicer tone than what he has been speaking in.

“I’m serious, Tanner, leave her the fuck alone!” Jax growls, coming to stand next to me.

“Stay out of this. You don’t know shit.” His jaw twitches. I see Rosie skipping happily back toward us with her backpack on and carrying my purse.

“Both of you can shut up,” I snap, feeling so overwhelmed. Both of them shut up and take a step back so I can finally breathe.

“Tomorrow, nine a.m. at the diner,” I tell Tanner before turning to Jax and giving him a sad smile.

“You don’t have to see him, Savannah, he can mind his own business for a change,” Jax tells me, acting like the complete opposite of his usual goofy, carefree self.

“It’s fine.” I sigh, grabbing hold of Rosie’s hand. “I’ll see you later,” I add before turning and walking off. “Did you have fun with Jax?” I ask as we walk down the street.

The weather is getting a lot warmer; soon summer will be in its full glory.

“Yup, he’s going to teach me to draw a butterfly!” she tells me and begins swinging our arms slightly.

“Hey, do you want some ice cream?” I ask as we approach the shop.

“Yes, please, Momma!” she squeals and tries to run off, but I tighten my grip on her hand so she can’t.

Once we’ve both got a scoop of ice cream and are sitting down outside, I finally decide to ask Rosie about her dad.

“Do you remember when Jax hurt his arm?” I ask, earning a nod. “And you said your daddy used to punch people?” I continue.

“Mm-hmm,” she agrees licking the ice cream dripping off her fingers.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Coz my daddy used to punch people.” She shrugs casually.

“Did he just?” I ask with a teasing grin, but on the inside, I want to yell how the hell do you know this?

“Yup. That’s what Aunt Erin told Gigi,” she continues.

“Aunt Erin told you that?” I frown.

“No, I heard her telling Gigi when I was pretending to sleep,” Rosie says shyly.

“Did she say anything?” I ask, taking a lick of my own ice cream.

“No. I coz I actually fell asleep.”