I talk, and I smile. Fake smile. I laugh too, and I can hear how fake my laughter is. I dance, mainly with Lazarus or Constantine. I suspect they are forced to do so by their mates who take pity on me.
I pretend not to notice him and his date.
He has another woman hanging on to his arm, yet his eyes are constantly following my every movement. Jealousy is eating at me, and I hate how my body is responding to his heated gaze.
I don’t understand this. I’m his erasthai. Why is he doing this to me?
After a while, it gets to be too much. I escape outside to one of the balconies. I need to breathe. I need fresh air. I need answers.
Banehallow Palace is on top of a hill. The lights from distant houses dotting the landscape below look like stars in a clear night sky. The cool night breeze touches my exposed arms and shoulders.
I’m aware of his presence behind me without even hearing his footsteps. He moves so stealthily and quietly. Like a shadow.
Well, I knew he was going to follow me here. Isn’t it why I am here on the balcony all by myself now?
“Mr. Rykov,” I say quietly without turning to look at him.
“Persephone,” he returns and moves to stand beside me.
The sound of my name rolling off his tongue sends shivers down my spine. I feel the sizzle of warmth and electricity from the close proximity of our bodies.
“I think it’s better that you stay away from me.” His deep voice melts my insides like butter, but his words chill me.
I turn to stare at his perfect profile as he stares out into the distance.
In this light, his chiseled features seem more prominent, as if he’s carved from marble. Cold and hard and unyielding, yet so achingly beautiful.
“But I’m your erasthai…I know I am,” I protest.
“Yes, you are,” he reluctantly admits, still staring out into the distance. I get the feeling he’s trying hard not to look at me.
“However, I don’t need a mate. I have never wanted a mate nor will I ever want one. Don’t waste your time on me.”
For a minute, I just stand there, staring at him, unable to fully comprehend what he just said.
Then he turns his face to look at me. The intensity of those icy-blue eyes hit me right in the chest. It almost knocks the breath out of my body.
“Why?” I whisper, truly confused yet mesmerized.
“Nobody should know about us either.” He takes a step closer to me as if he can’t help himself. He’s so close I can feel his body heat in the cool night air. I can smell his wonderful, heady scent.
I can feel the buzz of electricity in the air between us. My heartbeat and my body temperature rise. I can see hunger and longing in his captivating eyes as he stares down at me.
He lifts a hand to touch my face. It’s just a ghost of a touch, and I almost sway into it.
He is gone before I fully grasp what he meant. He left me staring at the empty doors of the balcony.
Oh no…did he just say that to me? Really? Did I just get rejected by my non-mate?
He rejected me, but I want him. Oh, I really want him. He might’ve decided that we’re not going to be together, but I decided otherwise. I look at the door that disappeared through and smile.
I’m Persephone Aspen Ruiz, and I will make him want me.
I know he wants me. I see the way he can’t keep his eyes off me. I won’t give up until I get what I want, and what I want is that dangerous, beautiful lycan. He won’t be able to resist me.
I walk back inside, more determined than ever that I’m going to make him want me.
As much as he doesn’t want anything to do with me, I can still feel his eyes on me. Our eyes still lock on each other from time to time.
I don’t think it escapes his date. I think it infuriates her. At some point during the night, his date, Karla, turns and touches my shoulder.
“Penny, right? Isn’t that what your name is?” she asks.
“I’m sorry, but I find it amazing…if not a bit ridiculous, that a werewolf is allowed to mingle freely here. You’re aware that this area here is for the royalties and high-ranking lycans, right?”
“Karla!” snaps Darius before I get the chance to get over my shock at the insult. “You’re aware that you wouldn’t even be at this party tonight if I didn’t invite you as my plus one.”
He says that through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching and eyes narrowing. Genesis, Constantine, and Caspian, who happen to hear her remark, are staring at her with cold, narrowed eyes as well.
I doubt she’ll get an invite back to the palace anytime soon. Darius pretty much ignores her after that incident.
From then on, I understand one thing very well about Darius Ivanovic Rykov.
He can’t stand anybody being rude to me. Because I am no angel, and I never claimed to be one, I use that to my advantage. If that’s a sin, I’ll burn in hell.
That’s how our three-year courtship begins. Nobody else at the palace knows about us except our tight little circle—Genesis, Constantine, Serena, Lazarus, and Caspian.
A lot of times he would come to dinner at the palace with women in tow as if he’s using them as a shield against me.
I know how to get rid of them very fast. All I have to do is get them to insult me in any way.
It’s not hard, especially when your date can’t seem to take his eyes off the other woman; you’re bound to say something catty.
Lycan women see a werewolf like me as somebody beneath them, so I don’t have to push their buttons too much.
Most of the time, all I have to do is just sit there looking pretty. If that doesn’t work, I flash him a coy look. I watch him from under my eyelashes.
I smile, angle my head just right, lick my lips, play with my hair, bat my eyelashes, playfully and “unintentionally” trace certain parts of my body to draw his attention to them.
All designed to catch his attention, and it’s just too easy.
He has his arm around another woman, but he looks at me as if he wants to eat me alive.
Through the years, when I’ve visited Russia, I would hope to bump into Darius. When I’d get back home, I would dream about him.
I’m obsessed with him. Once in a while, I think about my mate. It’s hard for an unknown, nameless, faceless mate to compete with an amazingly hot, breathtakingly beautiful, larger than life lycan.
I figure if I haven’t met him by now, that’s a sign that I’m not meant to be with my mate. I’m meant to be with Darius.
Darius is attending another dinner at the palace tonight, and I was expecting him to bring another one of those gorgeous lycan bombshells; instead, this time he shows up with somebody different.
The women he usually brings over are oozing with self-confidence and self-importance.
This woman is soft-spoken. She seems genuine with a good mix of vulnerability about her. The way she stares up at him leaves no doubt that she harbors deep feelings for him.
She looks as if she can hardly believe she’s here with him right now. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and she worships the ground he walks on.
This woman shits rainbows and butterflies and unicorns out of her ass. I can tell. Maybe this is the type that Darius goes for. He’ll be bored of her in a day. My thoughts aren’t very charitable.
I smile wide and turn to her. “Oh, you’re Stephanie, right?”
“No, I’m not Stephanie. My name—”
“I’m sorry, Darius brings different women all the time, it’s hard to keep track of them all… Anyway, nice to meet you. I’m Penny,” I interrupt her mid-sentence.
Her smile slips.
I really am not interested in knowing her name.
“I like you better than the last one he brought over…though the one before that sorta looked like you…”
Caspian chokes on his dessert—zapekanka—and coughs loudly. So, I thump Caspian’s back harder than necessary to “help” him clear his air flow. Saving his life.
Genesis smirks and looks like she has something to add, but instead, she forces herself to sip her drink slowly. Her eyes glint wickedly.
Serena wipes her mouth delicately with a pretty cloth napkin. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was hiding a smile behind that napkin.
Lazarus and Constantine seem to be occupied talking with King Alexandros, though I do catch a little smirk on their lips as well.
I can see Darius gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw in my peripheral vision, and I smile wider.
“Persephone, may I have a word with you?” says Darius quietly to me after King Alexandros and Queen Sophia leave the table.
“In private,” he adds.
Uh-oh…he never asks to talk to me in private. He stands behind my chair and helps pull it back for me. Genesis shoots me a concerned look.
His fingers are digging into my arm as he pulls me out into the hallway. He’s mad.
“Maybe it’s not me. Maybe it’s you who can’t stay away from me. Ever think of that?” I don’t really mean it, but I just throw it out there because…well…because I’m pissed.
I think that hits a nerve, though, because his eyes darken considerably, and he pushes me to the wall behind a statue in the hallway. His body pins mine to the wall as a warning.
His hand is around my neck, squeezing lightly but enough to make me aware of how powerful he is. He could snap my neck with just a little twist of his fingers.
I realize all of this, but I’m not scared. I’m so sure that he won’t hurt me.
“Watch your mouth, little girl,” he growls. He is so mad he doesn’t realize how close we are until he stops talking.
I can see the exact time when the realization of how close we are hits him.
Those beautiful eyes can tell a story. His eyes widen for a fraction, then they darken even more. Our faces are just a few inches away from each other. The tips of our noses are almost touching.
“I told you to stay away,” he groans. As if he can’t help himself. As if there is an invisible chain pulling him.
With another tortured groan, his mouth takes mine in a fierce, hungry kiss. My body responds immediately before my brain can process that he is kissing me.
My mouth opens for his onslaught, and his tongue enters my mouth. His exploring tongue touches mine, and our tongues tangle together. Heat and passion flares.
It’s as if a bomb just detonated inside me, and I return his desperate kiss. Our lips, tongues, and teeth are warring against each other. Wild and uninhibited.
Shivers of pleasure run down my body. His strong hands are gathering me closer, molding me to his heated body as if he can’t get close enough.
He is kissing me as if he’s taking his first breath of oxygen after being underwater for so long. He’s kissing me as if I am his. Umm…this feels even better than in my wildest dream.
My whole body is buzzing with a pleasure I’ve never felt before.
Vaguely, I hear a woman’s voice. Darius peels his mouth off me and lets out a string of curses in Russian.
His breathing is uneven, yet he turns to stare at something behind him.
I notice that the woman who is supposed to be his date for the evening is standing there with a shocked and hurt expression on her face.
She says something before she takes off.
He groans, running his hand through his fair hair.
“This can’t happen again,” he says gruffly before he goes off after her.
“Polina!” I hear him calling after her.
My lips feel bruised, and my brain is slow to process what just happened.
My legs start to shake, and I hold on to the wall beside me for support. I walk slowly to my room, thankful that everybody is still in the dining hall.
A few servants walk past, and they try not to stare. Goddess knows I must look pretty weird.
When I reach my room, I just sit at the edge of the bed for a long time. I don’t know what to feel.
I touch my lips slowly. Tracing my lower lip, I can still feel the tingle. I can smell his scent all over me. I can still taste him on my tongue.
I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting there when I hear somebody knocking on my door.
Darius’s date, Polina, is standing there when I open the door.
“May I come in?” she asks quietly. A few seconds go by and I still don’t say a word when she slides in and shuts the door with her back. She is studying me warily.
Her eyes seem vulnerable, but there’s a determined set to her chin and jaw, as if it took a lot of courage on her part to come here to see me.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” she begins tentatively. She takes a deep breath and blurts out, “You’re a werewolf. I don’t know why you’re doing what you’re doing, trying to seduce a lycan.”
She quickly stops as if she runs out of breath. She closes her eyes for a second before she continues.
“I’m asking you to stay away from Darius…” Her voice sounds like she’s imploring. “Please.”
“I’ve known him since I was very young. I’ve been in love with him for a long time. He never showed any feelings for me…but tonight…
“Tonight he asked me to be his mate and brought me here as his date. First time I’ve ever been to the palace. Tonight was one of the happiest nights of my life…until…” She lets the sentence trail away.
Until she saw us kissing in the hallway. Darius had asked her to be his mate. I ruined her happiest night.
My heart is beating fast. I think both of us can hear it. She looks like she’s waiting for me to say something. She’s imploring me with her eyes.
I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what I’m feeling. So I don’t say anything.
I just stare at her. I want her to go away.
She finally clears her throat and nods awkwardly when it’s clear that I’m not going to say anything.
“You can have your fun and seduce other lycans. Just please…don’t ruin this for me…for us. I…I…really love him,” she says before she opens the door and slips out quietly.
Have my fun? What does that mean?
Is he really going to mark her and make her his mate? But I’m his erasthai. Does he not feel it in our shared glances? Does he not feel it every time we’re near each other?
Did he not feel it when we kissed?
That kiss.
It was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I’ve kissed a few boys before. Not one of them made me feel like he did. Not even close.
That kiss was electric…no, it was mind-blowing. My lips still tingle from it.
My brain goes back and forth from that magical kiss to what Polina said about him asking her to be his mate.
Then there is another knock on the door. Maybe that’s Darius. Maybe he’s changed his mind about marking the other woman. Maybe it’s a mistake, and he wants to clear things up.
Maybe he wants us to be together finally. That kiss was amazing. I know I wouldn’t be able to forget that kiss for the rest of my life.
I eagerly open the door, but an unfamiliar man is standing there. A werewolf. I might have seen him before, but I don’t remember where.
“Yes?” I raise my eyebrows, peering out from behind my bedroom door.
“Mr. Rykov would like to see you, Ms. Ruiz,” he says, dipping his head respectfully. “I can take you to his bedchamber now if you’re ready.”
“No, that’s okay. I know where it is. Thank you.” I smile at him.
“If that’s what you prefer, miss.” He gives me a little bow before he walks away.
I hear the sound of a woman moaning before I even open the door. I shouldn’t open it, but I can’t seem to stop myself. It’s not even locked.
I push the door open to face tangled bedsheets and writhing naked bodies on the bed. His powerful hands are kneading her creamy flesh. His mouth is on her bare breast.
That woman, Polina. She’s on top of him. Straddling him. Moaning in ecstasy. Her dark hair in wild disarray tumbling down her back.
His fair hair is messy from the hand of that woman. I’ve wanted for so long to feel that fair, silky hair between my fingers, yet this woman has her fingers buried in it.
He opens his icy-blue eyes and stares right at me. His mouth continues to assault her breast while his eyes fix intensely on me.
I have no clue what I’m feeling. Maybe numbness…or shock? Why would I be shocked? I just stare back at him. I can’t stop staring.
Another sound of her moaning and the steely look on his face brings me to my senses.
So I step back and close the door slowly. I try my best to close the door as quietly as I can, but the thud of the door closing sounds too loud to my ears.
Maybe it’s not the sound of the door that’s too loud.
Maybe it’s the sound of my heart breaking.
