A Midwife, Her Best Friend, Their Family
Autore
Rachel Dove
Letto da
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Capitoli
12
CHAPTER ONE
‘YOU HAVE GOT to be kidding me.’ Molly couldn’t believe her ears.
The sign for Ashford Birthing Centre loomed in the windshield, looking resplendent even in the dull January weather. It was freezing outside, and she pulled her black parka tighter around her at the thought. She was glad she’d plumped for her thicker winter tights today. Even in the delivery rooms, where the temperature was controlled centrally, she always felt the cold in winter. A remnant from her childhood, no doubt. Her mother had warmed herself with vodka, and had often forgotten about the needs of her daughter. Sometimes, she still experienced that cold feeling, even when she was wrapped up snug in her adult life.
‘What?’ Matt looked across at her as he pulled into the car park of their workplace. His dark brow was raised. ‘I only said she wasn’t that bad. It was a short ride.’
‘Seriously?’ Her brows were so far up into her hairline, her whole face tightened. She couldn’t help feeling a bit ratty. She hadn’t slept well and having company in the car pool with Matt had been a shock, and not a good one. Of all the mornings, and before she’d even managed to get a drop of caffeine into her system. Her flatmate, Amy, had forgotten to buy coffee. ‘Next time you give me a lift to work, give me a heads up if you’ve got someone with you, so I can skip it.’ She didn’t look at him, but she knew that he was smirking.
‘I thought she had some interesting opinions, myself.’
‘She was talking about medicine, and the only relevant medical experience that woman has is having a smear test.’ She clenched her jaw. ‘It was exhausting.’ Plus, she never usually saw the women he dated. Not that there were many. Her best friend was not the relationship type. Everyone knew that. ‘It just surprised me she was there.’
Matt’s tone changed. ‘She put me on the spot, and I didn’t think. She was moaning about how late she was for work and I had my car parked outside her place. You know I never sleep over normally, but I crashed out. It was a mistake, an oversight. I thought I was being gallant.’
He had a fair point. What was he supposed to do, say no to giving her a lift? He wasn’t cruel to women. Or a player.
‘Fair enough. Next time though, I’ll get the bus.’ She shot him a smile, but he didn’t match it.
‘No, don’t start taking the bus. It’s too cold, and you hate the winter. Besides, I like taking you to work. It starts my day off right.’ He reached for her hand across the gear stick. ‘Forgiven me yet?’
She pretended to seriously consider it. He groaned.
‘Mol, come on! You’re making me feel like a playboy. I met a woman; we spent the night together. I don’t do it all the time. Hardly ever, in fact. It’s no different from the dating you do. I just...keep it short.’
‘How short?’ she quipped.
‘Steady,’ he warned. ‘You know what I mean. Everyone needs a little company sometimes. Even me.’ His jaw tightened, and the urge to tease him left her.
She understood that. Throughout her childhood, the one thing she’d encountered was loneliness. It was easier not to trust people, let them in. Relying on herself was the only sure thing. She knew Matt felt the same way. It was one of the reasons she’d let him in. Trusted him. She pushed away her intrusive thoughts and focused on her friend.
‘I don’t think you’re a playboy, Matt. I get it. Sorry, grumpy morning.’ A phrase he’d coined. He’d learned early on in their friendship that she wasn’t a happy little early bird.
He didn’t get attached to people, and that’s how he lived his life. He didn’t lie to the women he spent time with; he was honest about not wanting a relationship. He wasn’t like the many men her own mother had dredged up over the years. Or Matt’s own father for that matter. The doctor turned lawyer was a world away from him. He was devoted to his job, like her. He had no desire for anything other than what he had.
To be fair, the women all knew the score, even if they sometimes thought they would be the one to finally land Matt Loren, the hot legendary baby doctor. The bachelor with the big family name. His father’s work in medical law had seen to that, even before Matt ever picked up a textbook. A high-flying doctor who’d become a medical-professional-suing shark was a difficult act to follow, whether he wanted to or not. The tabloids made sure of that. Some of his colleagues had even judged him for it over the years, afraid he might tell dear old Dad something that would land them in court on a malpractice charge. His dad’s record didn’t exactly scream trust, and Matt was tarred by association. The things parents inflicted upon their offspring always surprised Molly, even knowing what she knew.
Matt Loren was the obstetrician with a reputation for being cut-throat, at the top of his game. People travelled miles to have their high-risk pregnancies overseen by him.
Women loved all that. You put a baby into the arms of a good-looking man, and it was game over. Ovaries and hearts went all aflutter. If he ever chose to, he could have a woman’s company every night of the week. The Loren name was known for producing ladykillers. That little moniker had followed him around in life, even longer than it had at work. Add to it an air of unattainability, and there he was. Her bestie.
That’s how it usually ended too. The pair of them hanging out. She dated, he had his occasional sleepover, but they always ended up being back to just them. Being confronted by one of his lovers grinning at her from the passenger seat? That felt new, and slightly unpleasant to witness.
‘It’s fine.’ She patted his hand. ‘I just wish you had a bit more respect for yourself sometimes.’ He cast her a sheepish look. ‘You’re a smart guy, Matt. You literally save mothers and babies every day.’
She refrained from adding that his father turning on his original profession and being a player wasn’t his fault, and shouldn’t mean he be treated the same way. It was true, but he wouldn’t hear it. She understood that too. Sometimes, the shadows of their parents blocked out the light of their adulthood. When things grew in the dark, sometimes they grew differently. Harder, stronger. Reaching out for the light with every limb.
She tried not to be mad, but her best friend could be his own worst enemy. ‘The least you deserve is a woman who sees that.’ She let the smirk she was holding back play across her lips. ‘And one who can spell vagina.’
‘Fair point,’ he conceded as they got out of his sleek red Lexus. They headed to the front doors of the workplace they had shared for so long that she couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t worked there. ‘But I don’t exactly ask for a list of qualifications beforehand, Mol. It was only one night.’ The second they walked through the foyer, all talk of hookups stopped.
‘Busy day today?’ Molly asked as they headed to their respective changing rooms.
‘Not bad. Liam Evans-Shaw’s out for his wedding and honeymoon still, so I have his cases to cover. You?’
‘Three inductions booked in. All low-risk.’ Molly smiled. She loved the labours that came walking through the doors, but there was something about inductions that she enjoyed more. Probably because the women often came in fed up, their baby overdue, or anxious as hell because they needed to be induced early for one reason or another. Seeing the faces of the parents when their baby was born into the world safely was an amazing high. She had never been one to try drugs or enjoy the buzz of alcohol, but she was addicted to the feeling of creating families. ‘Remember the twins I told you about, gestational diabetes? That’s today.’
Her patient Emma had had a rough time of it, but today was the day she got to meet her twins. Everything was on track for a double dose of delivery joy, and even the vapid passenger this morning couldn’t dull Molly’s mood now. She knew her best friend got it. Matt worked the major cases; despite his relatively young age, he was one of the most respected obstetricians out there. He loved the thrill of new life as much as she did.
‘Looks like you’re buying the first round at Neville’s tonight then,’ Matt said.
Neville’s was the place to be after a long shift, probably because it was near work and the train station. Not too far from where they each lived. Matt had a house of his own, Molly a flat she shared with nurse Amy.
The women were like ships passing in the night though, so it wasn’t too bad for Molly. She couldn’t afford a place on her own—her disposable income would take too much of a hit. Who wanted to live alone anyway? It worked for them. Amy worked nights exclusively and stayed at her boyfriend Anton’s place more than she did at theirs. It was like Molly had her own home, without the crippling expense. It had been a while since Amy was around long enough to hang out with her. She couldn’t remember their last night out. Still, flatsharing was perfect for her plan to save some money and pay off her student debt. She’d only had a few months of payments left. Or so she’d thought.
Till she’d woken up to a letter on the kitchen table, kicking her terrible morning off. Amy was sorry to leave Molly in the lurch, but Anton had asked her to move in with him. Marry him. She was leaving at the end of the month.
Since then, Molly had felt the familiar feeling in her gut. The one from her girlhood. Feeling unsettled, askew. Insecure. It was a feeling she despised but could never quite get rid of. Being the only child of a single mum who struggled to be alone, letting anyone and everyone into their lives, who took what they wanted from her and left Molly to pick up the pieces. Not knowing when her next hot meal was coming or when the lights would go back on in the worst weeks. There was never enough money, and her mother had frequently escaped into the arms of a man or a bottle whilst Molly sat at home, planning a future in her head to cope with her reality.
She’d wanted a different life. Her mother never knew her own worth. Molly prioritised hers. She was not someone to be used, cast aside. Those days, those dark memories, they were all fuel for her drive forward. She shunned the shadows and stayed in the light. Her story was not her mother’s. She would make sure of it. Having her home life threatened was a trigger she could never cope with easily. Trauma ran deep, no matter how much work she did on herself to combat it. It was in her, part of her DNA.
Even as her stomach lurched, Molly knew it made sense for Amy to leave, and Molly was happy for the friend she loved dearly. She didn’t trust easily, kept her circle small. They’d bonded while training and stayed close. Amy and Anton were head over heels for each other. It was the logical next stage for them. As stressed as she felt over the development, she couldn’t be mad. Molly would have done the same if she’d been the one lucky enough to be with a man she could spend the rest of her life with. Given her latest dating efforts, finding Mr Right was a million miles away. She would be single and ready to flatshare instead. The whole thing depressed her. She hadn’t even had the heart to tell Matt yet.
She probably would have if they’d been alone; he’d have known something was up. Bugged her on the drive to work till she caved. His surprise guest had put paid to that possibility. Besides, she already knew what he would do. What he always did: try to help and cheer her up. She found herself wanting to wallow alone, just a little.
It wasn’t only the fact that Amy was leaving. It was the wedding too. A tinge of envy was hidden in her happiness for her friend. She couldn’t help thinking of that old saying ‘Why not me?’
Money would be a bit tighter now, that was for sure. She needed to look for another flatmate, but the thought depressed her too much to think about it. By her calculations, even without her flatmate woes, she was still two years off from being able to buy her own place. Put down roots properly. Plus, she had that date tonight. God, she wished she’d never agreed to it in the first place.
She rolled her eyes at Matt as they walked together. ‘I can’t go to Neville’s tonight. Date, remember?’
They headed out of the foyer and stopped outside the doctors’ lounge. They did this every morning, usually planning their shifts together and car pool. They were a good team, having started only a week after each other, and the management were more than aware of their skills. They’d become the best of friends. People didn’t always get it, but it worked for them. They’d learned to tune the attention on them out. Blur it into the background.
‘Date?’
‘Yep.’
‘Which one is this again?’ Matt nodded distractedly at Shirley, one of the nurses. She simpered back at him.
God, Shirley had been happily married for the past forty years. Everyone in the building either fawned over Matt or declared him the Antichrist. It was like none of them saw the real him. The one that she saw. She brushed the feeling of watching eyes away and focused on picturing her date’s face.
‘You know which one. The vet.’ She blushed at the thought of the evening ahead. Dating wasn’t one of her favourite things. It took her a while to warm up to others, and she could spot a red flag from a mile away. Her friends said she was too picky, but she knew what she was looking for. Waiting for it to show up was the problem. In short, she was getting annoyed.
Is it too late to cancel?
No, she thought. He seemed nice. Animal lover, good job. Nice smile. Besides, she’d already cancelled on him twice. Once because an emergency had come in at work, the other time because Matt had dragged her off to watch stock-car racing instead with last-minute tickets. He’d practically hijacked her, but she hadn’t been that excited for her date in the first place. To be honest, she’d had a great time with Matt. They’d laughed most of the night. Stuffed their faces with hot dogs and drunk beer from plastic cups. Sat on the sidelines, the roar of the cars and the scent of engine oil all around them. That was a good night, she mused.
She would have to go tonight though. She’d only wallow at home anyway. He was nice. She’d bumped into him at the hospital next door. He’d chatted with her, given her his number, asked her out then and there. That never happened! Not to Molly. She wasn’t exactly a femme fatale. She didn’t think she was ugly, but when she looked at the other confident women out there, she knew it wasn’t her thing to get dressed up all the time. She was comfortable just being her, and when she was growing up, her priorities had been different from those of her peers.
With her long blond hair and sparkling blue eyes, she was hardly a Plain Jane, but she was the girl next door type, she guessed. She was more at home in sweats than heels, and that suited her fine. Not every blonde was a bombshell. She was good in her own skin. She just wished, for once, that a man would look at her and think that she was the beginning and ending of his world. When she settled down, she wanted a man who couldn’t bear the thought of not being with her.
Hmm, maybe I am a little picky.
She felt a jab in her side and came back out of her head. Matt was leaning against the wall next to her, one brow raised quizzically.
‘Earth to Molly. Date? Details? Tell me it’s not the guy from Essex.’ Matt’s voice was flat. ‘Tell me it’s not Dr Dolittle.’
‘Well, he’s from Essex, but—’
‘Oh, not him—come on! He sounds like such a drip. He puts his hands up cows’ backsides for a living. Not sexy. Don’t take him back to your place, whatever you do. You’ll end up adopting a menagerie.’
‘Take him home? On a first date? I’m not you, Matt.’ Dating was one thing. Getting naked on the first night? Hell to the no. She was far too nervous for that. She waited till the feelings were there, strong in her gut. Not lower down and regretted later. She crossed her arms huffily.
‘Besides, he’s a city vet. He deals with dogs, cats, little kids’ bunnies. No livestock.’ She had no idea why she’d felt the need to defend a date she was suddenly dreading. ‘It’s only a dinner date.’
Matt shrugged, then pushed himself off the wall and dropped a kiss on her cheek.
‘Just be careful, okay? Ring me when you get home like always. Lift after work?’
She nodded at him. He was always playing big brother when she was on a date. They said their goodbyes and got to work. She had babies to deliver, and that always gave her joy. She’d worry about the date later.
