Reunited with Her Off-Limits Surgeon
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Amy Ruttan
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PROLOGUE
“WHY DO WE have to pick up Finn?” Maeve signed to her brother furiously. “I thought he said he wasn’t coming?”
“He changed his mind,” Rolf answered.
Maeve didn’t reply.
Normally, she would be happy that Finn was coming. She liked Finn. Well, she more than liked Finn and had since she was about twelve, but she kept that thought to herself. She was the little sister of Rolf Fischer, and Finn Scott was his bestie, which meant that she was off-limits to him. Rolf didn’t think that she’d heard, or rather read his lips, when he’d told his friends years ago that no one was to date or mess with his younger sister.
Not that it mattered. Rolf’s friends didn’t give her the time of day.
Not many people did. And that was fine by her. She’d hated being bullied when she was younger, not because of her deafness, but because she was poor, because she didn’t have a father, because the clothes she wore were never right.
Rolf had grown up just the same as she had, but he didn’t care what others thought of him and he was so charismatic, everyone liked him.
She was not so personable.
She was shy.
Her mother had babied her; at least that was what the kids had all said.
She didn’t trust people easily. And that was also just fine by her. Her brother was her best friend and that was all that mattered. He’d always looked out for her.
Maeve was very good at being in the background, which was what she preferred. She hated being the center of attention. It was easier to avoid people who either felt sorry for her because she was deaf or who made fun of her. It was totally a defense mechanism and she was okay with that. She didn’t need pity. For the most part, she was happy.
Are you?
Not lately, if she was honest.
What was making her particularly sad tonight was that Rolf was enlisting and she would have to navigate Wichita and college without Rolf or Finn. Finn was going off to medical school and from the way he had been talking, he wasn’t coming back to Wichita any time soon.
Her cheeks heated as she thought of Finn.
She was annoyed with herself that she’d had this crush on him forever, and frustrated she couldn’t get up the courage to tell him how she felt.
She was his friend. Nothing more, and that wasn’t ever going to change.
Jeez, Maeve, when did you start being Debbie Downer?
She smiled to herself as she thought of that. She had to let it all go.
Rolf would be safe, at least that was what she had to keep telling herself, and Finn was finally making his dreams come true. She was happy for them both; she was just going to miss them.
Terribly.
Rolf glanced over at her as they pulled up in front of Finn’s house, on the nicer side of town. Their suburb outside Wichita proper was once a small farming town that had been swallowed up by urban sprawl.
Maeve and Rolf grew up on one of the last farm properties, whereas Finn grew up surrounded by larger homes in a gated community.
“What?” she asked, looking at her brother.
“Why are you smiling? I thought you were sad I was leaving?”
She shrugged. “Can’t I be both?”
“What’s the joke?”
“It’s private,” she signed, crossing her arms and turning to look out the window.
He tapped her on the shoulder so she couldn’t ignore him.
“Are you mad at me?” Rolf signed.
“No, but I thought it was just going to be us. Then you said more people are coming and...” She trailed off. Annoyed at herself for being so melancholy.
“Don’t be mad, Maeve. Everyone was invited to this party. Finn didn’t think he’d be able to go, but the plans changed. You know how it is with his parents.”
Maeve sighed and looked back at her brother. “Okay.”
Finn may have been born with a golden spoon in his mouth, but his parents were never there. Finn spent more time with her family. Even though her parents had split up when she was about five, and she hadn’t seen her father since then, her mom was so loving and caring, so involved in her children’s lives, and in Finn’s. More than his real parents. So she understood why he hung around with them so often.
“I’m not mad,” she said. “It’s just you’re enlisting tomorrow. I kind of wanted us to spend this night together. You know I don’t like parties.”
“You’ll be fine, Maeve. Everyone likes you.”
She rolled her eyes.
Her brother didn’t see what she saw. Hadn’t experienced what she had. He was her protector, but he was also a bit obtuse. No one made fun of him.
There was a part of her that wanted to leave this small suburb, too. There was a part of her that wanted to leave Kansas behind, but her mother was always so anxious about her. And with Rolf leaving she couldn’t leave her mother by herself. Not after all she’d sacrificed for her and Rolf over the years. Her mom was already so upset about Rolf leaving, Maeve couldn’t go and leave her all alone. She had to stay.
Always an excuse.
Maybe she was just a bit envious over the fact that Rolf was enlisting. He was going to go off and do something he’d always wanted to do, and Finn was going after his dream of being a doctor, too.
She wasn’t even sure what she wanted to do. Although, she had been thinking lately about becoming a doctor herself, maybe a surgeon, but she was only just starting out in college. There would be time yet to figure it out.
She was staying in Wichita to give her mother time to adjust to life without Rolf. She was putting her life on hold temporarily. Her mother had taken care of her when she had been so sick, so she would be there for her now. Maybe that was part of the problem.
Rolf honked the horn, and the door to the very neat midcentury-modern home opened up. Finn came jogging over to them and her heart skipped a beat. His dark hair was a bit haphazard and his skin was bronzed from a summer of fun with her brother.
He still had that athletic build from being on the college wrestling team, but he wasn’t a total jerk like most of the jocks she dealt with.
He was Finn.
Finn climbed into the back of Rolf’s pickup truck. “Thanks for coming to get me. My parents weren’t exactly thrilled that I was skipping a country club social in favor of a bush party.”
Maeve’s head snapped around to Rolf and she signed furiously, “Bush party? You said this was a bonfire. Bush parties are too loud.”
“So take out your hearing aids,” Rolf snapped at her.
She punched him in the arm. Tears stinging her eyes, not from hurt, but from anger. “You’re an ass. You can take me home!”
“Yeah, she’s right. You’re an ass, Rolf,” Finn said from the back. He leaned over her seat. His breath was hot on the nape of her neck, and his strong arm along the back of her shoulders was comforting. It made her heart skip a beat. She could feel the warmth blooming in her cheeks. “I don’t know what you signed to make him say that, but if you’re worried about the bush party, don’t be. I’ve always got your back, Maeve.”
It was reassuring, but she was still angry; she really didn’t want to go to some boisterous party where she’d spend the whole evening alone, because no one outside of Rolf or Finn would talk to her.
Rolf looked apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it, Maeve. Finn is right to tell you not to worry, but look, if you really don’t want to go to the party I’ll take you home.”
“I don’t want to go,” she said, firmly.
“Come on, Maeve. Just for a bit. This is my last night here, too, remember. If you’re not there, it won’t be the same,” Finn said coaxingly. “We’re like the three amigos. I have to have my two best friends there to witness me saying goodbye to this godforsaken place.”
Maeve sighed and tried not to smile. “Fine, but when I’m ready to go...”
“I’ll take you straight home,” Rolf swore. “If you say it’s too much, we’ll leave.”
Finn gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, which sent a rush of warmth through her. “I’m so glad you’re coming.” And then he leaned over between her and Rolf. “My two best friends. What could go wrong tonight?”
Right.
Best friend.
Maeve swallowed the lump in her throat.
Finn would never see her as more than a best friend. She knew that, but it still hurt all the same. Nothing was going to change. Even if she did tell him how she felt about him, Finn was going off to medical school to pursue his dream. She knew that life would no longer be the same without him here. She was going to be left alone, left behind.
She wished she could go with Finn out east, only she had school here and her mom. It was too irresponsible to leave, not when her mom had done so much for her. It was more affordable to live at home, work and go to school. She wouldn’t be a burden.
Also, Wichita was a safe place.
There was a certainty, a consistency, to her life here. She knew what to expect, even if a secret part of her craved a little bit of adventure.
Still, it was right to stay behind. It made all kinds of sense.
She had to stay.
It was a beautiful night, even though Maeve really didn’t want to be here.
So she took a seat on a fallen tree in front of the fire and stared up at the stars, away from the rest of the gang, who were singing, blasting music and drinking. She couldn’t hear much of that anyway. She was partially deaf, so she could sort of hear some of it, but it was easy to tune out the rest.
At least, out in this field at the edge of a small group of trees near the reservoir, you were far enough away from the city that you could see the stars and she liked to look up at them, wondering about far, distant places that she probably would never get a chance to go to.
She jumped as Finn sat down next to her.
“Sorry, I thought you saw me,” he said, and she could tell what he said by reading his lips.
She turned up her hearing aids. “It’s okay.”
“You don’t look like you’re having much fun,” Finn said with a wince.
“What gave it away?” she asked, smiling.
He chuckled. “This party was for Rolf. I didn’t really want to go, either, but it was better than going out with my parents.”
“You really don’t like the country club?” she teased.
“Would you?”
She cocked her head to one side, thinking about it. It was full of very well-off members and they were pretty elitist. Stuck in an earlier age that she didn’t want to be a part of.
“No, I suppose not,” she agreed.
“I’ll be glad to leave them,” Finn admitted heavily.
“I’m sorry you don’t have a good relationship with your parents.”
Finn shrugged. “It’s hard to have a relationship with people who are never there. It’s why I don’t ever want to settle down, get married and have kids. I want to become a surgeon and live in California.”
“California?” It sounded like an exciting prospect, except for his certainty about not having a family. There was a part of her that understood that. She’d always hated that she was the cause of her parents’ divorce. That was what her father had said when he left. She may have only been five, but she remembered it clearly.
Her mother swore up and down it wasn’t Maeve’s fault, but there was part of her, a deep-down part of her, that kept telling her it was. She had been born partially deaf and had been so sick as a child with various ailments. Most of her childhood had been spent in and out of hospitals. She knew that the strain, both financial and emotional, had taken its toll on both her parents, but particularly her mother after her father had walked away.
It scared her to her bones to even think about having a family in the future.
The unknown was terrifying, even if it was also a bit thrilling.
“I like the ocean,” Finn said, interrupting her morose thoughts and answering her last question. “And it’s warm. Sorry, but Kansas in the winter is no fun. Prairie blizzards? I can do without those.”
“Yeah, but there are other warm places,” she teased.
He grinned. “Once, my parents took me to California and I just fell in love with it. It was the only time I remember my parents and I being happy together. They were different on that trip. It didn’t last long, but yeah, it was one of the best times of my life. I could see myself being happy living there.”
Maeve smiled and nodded. “Understood.”
There were happy memories Maeve herself clung to. A few scant memories of her father, when her mom had been happy. When her father was still there and cared about them.
She could understand wanting to capture that again.
Bottle it. She would if she could.
“I am going to miss you, though,” Finn said, softly.
Her heart skipped a beat. “What?”
“I said I’m going to miss you.” His eyes twinkled in the firelight and her pulse hammered between her ears.
“No, I heard you, I’m just... Me?”
Finn grinned. “Of course, why wouldn’t I?”
“I thought you found me mostly annoying,” Maeve teased.
“Why would you think that?”
“I’m Rolf’s pesky little sister.”
“The only thing I found annoying was Rolf saying you were off-limits.”
Her breath caught in her throat. “What?”
“Maeve, I really like you. I have for some time now, but Rolf is my best friend and I couldn’t date his little sister. Even though I really wanted to.”
Finn couldn’t believe that he was telling Maeve how much he liked her. Not that it would really make a difference. He was going out east for medical school and Maeve was heading to college here in Wichita.
Rolf would soon be God knows where. Finn knew Maeve would stay here because of her mother. Besides, he had nothing to offer her. He was leaving and he couldn’t ask her to come to Boston just because he’d miss her.
It had been the three of them for so long. Rolf was like a brother to him, but Maeve was someone who was completely unattainable as she was beautiful.
He’d kept his promise to Rolf and never pursued her; that and he didn’t think that she liked him one bit. She didn’t seem to have much patience for anyone in Rolf’s crowd, but still, he really liked Maeve.
Always had.
Maybe it was bravado, because he was leaving and never coming back to Wichita that finally gave him the nerve to tell her how he’d felt for some time.
That he liked her.
That he thought she was beautiful and that he wished he’d never made that promise to Rolf years ago. That he wished she was his.
Maeve’s freckled cheeks flushed with pink and she tucked back an errant strand of her red hair, her green eyes looking down at the ground. He’d made her uncomfortable and he hated that.
He should’ve just kept his feelings to himself.
What was wrong with him?
His father had asked him the same thing when he’d turned down the opportunity to go to the country club and meet with one of his father’s investor’s daughters. His father’s well-intentioned matchmaking to the “right” sort of girl was pointless.
Finn was not ever going to get married or have kids. He was not going to be like his parents at all. Even though a part of him secretly longed for a loving family, a wife, he knew that was just a secret dream he’d never fulfill because he didn’t want to ruin it.
Besides, his father’s idea of the right kind of people just annoyed Finn.
He’d rather be here with his friends.
Actually, he would rather be here with Maeve, even if she didn’t want him. At least she’d know how he felt, and he could go away and not think about her.
“I’m sorry,” he said, quickly. “I didn’t mean to freak you out...”
“You didn’t,” she said, just as quickly. “I just... I wasn’t expecting that. I like you, too, Finn.”
“As a friend?” he interjected.
“No... I mean...yes, but... I like you, too, Finn. I always have.” It was just a whisper and her cheeks blushed again, her gaze sparkling in the flickering firelight. His heart hammered and his stomach started to do backflips.
It was like the world went still in that moment, and now he wasn’t sure he was hearing things correctly.
She liked him, too?
Now he was even more annoyed that Rolf had made him and all their friends promise to leave Maeve alone. Rolf thought she was fragile. Sure, Finn knew that Maeve had been ill as a child, but medically fragile still?
Hardly.
She liked to keep to herself, but she was one of the strongest girls he knew.
Finn had stayed away from Maeve, but in this moment, where she was telling him that she liked him, too, it was hard to remember why he was keeping that promise.
Maeve slid a bit closer to him on the log and took his hand in hers. Her skin was so soft and the simple touch from a girl he had pined after for years sent a jolt of heat through him. He touched her face, running his thumb over her freckled cheeks.
His pulse was hammering between his ears. Everything in his body was telling him to kiss her, but the logical part of his brain was reminding him that he was leaving for medical school. He had no plans to come back to Wichita.
Ever.
There was nothing here for him.
Maeve is here, a little voice reminded him.
Yes. She was here, but he didn’t know for how long. Finn never wanted to get married. He didn’t want to settle down, have kids. He didn’t want a life for his kids like he’d had, where he’d always felt like he was a nuisance to his parents.
And he was determined to have a flourishing medical career. Soon, he’d be out of their hair. How many times had his mother reminded him that he had stalled her great research career? Too many.
He was passionate about getting to the level that he wanted, but it would take time. He had to focus on that, and there was no room for anything else.
Not even Maeve.
He had missed his chance with her. He’d waited too long. Except, he couldn’t resist her.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked. He nodded toward the boisterous crowd. “Get away from the noise?”
“I’d like that,” she said, smiling.
He couldn’t have Maeve. She wouldn’t ever be his, but tonight he could spend a little time alone with her. The last waning nights of summer were always magical, and he couldn’t think of a better send-off to his old life here in Kansas than one moonlit walk with the girl of his dreams.
“Why did you wait so long to say anything?” Maeve asked as they slowly made their way from the rabble of the bush party.
“Why did you wait so long to tell me?” he teased back.
She chuckled and shrugged. “You were just a friend and I’m an annoying little sister.”
“Never annoying, but yes, I’m very aware you’re Rolf’s little sister. We are friends, for sure,” he groused.
“So why tell me now?” Maeve asked as they stopped near the edge of the small creek that cut through the field.
They were far from the party, so it was quiet. The moon was bright and she looked so soft and small. There were fireflies in the long grasses and it was almost magical. All he wanted to do in that moment was take her in his arms and never let her go.
“I couldn’t hold it back.” Finn took her hands in his; they were small and delicate. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”
Maeve laughed softly, taking a step closer to him. “Your timing is interesting.”
“So come with me to Boston,” Finn blurted out, surprising himself. ‘You could go to college there.”
Maeve’s green eyes widened. “I can’t. My mom needs me here. Rolf will eventually deploy.”
“I know. It was selfish of me to ask. I couldn’t promise you much if you did come. I’ll be focusing on my studies.”
She nodded. “I understand.”
“I will miss you.” He reached out and touched her face, stroking his thumb over her cheek.
“I’ll miss you, too,” she whispered.
“Can I kiss you?” Finn asked. “Just this once?”
Maeve nodded.
Finn tipped her chin and leaned in to kiss her. He was shaking and he could feel her trembling as well. He had wanted to do this for so long. At least with this kiss he would have a pleasant memory to cling to.
Her lips were so soft and he cupped her face as the kiss deepened. Her arms wrapped around him, pulling her closer as she pressed her body against him. He didn’t want this moment to ever end. Only, it would have to.
She broke off the kiss and leaned her forehead against his. “We should go.”
“Back to the party?” he whispered, his hands still resting on the small of her back.
“No,” she said. “Somewhere private.”
“Maeve, are you sure?”
She nodded, her eyes twinkling in the darkness. “Think of it as a going away gift.”
He was going to argue, but she kissed him again, quickly, heating his blood. He wanted this as much as she did. It was like a dream come true. They might not have a future together, but they would have this night, a night he’d never, ever forget.
How could he?
Maeve Fischer would always be the girl of his dreams.
The girl he didn’t want to leave behind, but it was for her own good. He wasn’t going to hold her back from having a happy life, even if he couldn’t be a part of it.
