Discovering Us 1: Violet

VIOLET

I wince as he pulls out of me. It felt better than I thought for the first time, but he’s enormous, or at least I think he is.

It’s not like I’ve seen another penis that close before…other than Henry’s, and his isn’t anything like Zach’s.

I lay between the two men, one who I’ve just become acquainted with, and the other who I’m sure will take his turn next.

But since he hasn’t immediately rolled to have me, I stare at the ceiling. This was the only way to get away from Henry.

I never thought I would get to choose who I slept with for the first time, because my stepdad has been eager to touch me for years. He claims I owe him that.

I’m glad his new wife wanted to sell my virtue, even though it’s weird to think a woman would do that to another. I look over at Tyler to rid myself of my nasty thoughts.

Indeed it’s his turn now, but he’s still clothed from the waist down. He stares right back at me. Maybe through me, I don’t know.

He seems detached right now. Perhaps he’s not into women like Zach is.

But nevertheless, I decide to reach to touch his face, but his hand instantly halts me.

“Not tonight, darling.” Oh! But I thought this was their thing. Having intercourse with people together. Well, that’s what Henry told me. He made my new life seem bleak and painful.

Sighing, I look back to Zach for reassurance, but all I get is him shrugging at me, so I take a steadying breath. Don’t ask for something you don’t know if you want, Violet.

“You best get cleaned up, Violet. There’s some bath oil in the bathroom. It will help with the sting. I’ll change the bedsheets,” Tyler says.

Ah, yes, the sting. I feel it pulsating as he mentions it, and as I look down, I notice the bed is covered in blood. My blood. My virginity.

I nod to Tyler. Is that it? Tyler kisses my forehead, then gets up and leaves the room briskly, leaving a pang in my chest of something I have no clue of.

Zach slumps back down beside me, and I remain on the bed. Maybe it’s been five minutes or thirty, I don’t know, but we lay in pleasurable silence.

Well, I feel no different. I was told I would. But I guess when you do it with someone you love, it makes you feel different. Who knows?

“That was great.” Zach slices the silence with his deep monotone. It makes me jump, reminding me I’m not alone, so I nod to him.

It was…okay. Nice. Pleasurable, even.

I could do it again. Fuck, I will be doing it again. I scoff at myself.

“Thank you, Violet.” For what? I want to ask. Instead, I look over at him, puzzled.

“For giving me your virginity.” It’s like he heard my question, and it stumps me as to how he read me through my silence. But why is he thanking me?

“Make sure you pee and have a bath, okay?”

I nod, embarrassed to be told such a thing by a man as he leans over to kiss me. It’s slow and controlled compared to how he did before, but it makes me smile.

He leans his forehead to mine, and I don’t understand why, but then he’s up and out of the room, taking my anxiety with him.

He closes the door behind him before I breathe.

***

TYLER

I went to my office because I didn’t expect to feel…to feel so weird about that just now. I’m not sure I was even into it, as I think about it, sitting at my desk.

I stare at the picture of Zach, Rose, and me.

Yes. That’s why. Rose, Rose, Rose!

Why couldn’t I just fuck her? Her exploring eyes stare back at me, and I’m pretty sure she’d call me stupid.

My heart is so hung-up on her still.

Every day I go through the motions of life, but when I sit and do nothing, it hits me hard. I miss her. The girl back in our spare room is just that, a girl. She’s so young. How can I fuck her?

She did fine with Zach. She took him like she wasn’t even a virgin. I put my head in my hands. Fuck, it was hot to watch him take her virginity, though.

“Hey, what’re ups with you?” Zach rushes to me, naked as the day he was born, and I lift my head from my hands, smiling at him.

“Nothing’s wrong. Why?”

He purses his lips, and I sigh. He knows me too well.

“We were supposed to be in this together.” We were.

“I thought we were,” I answer him.

“You stalked off as soon as you could,” he remarks. I did. I didn’t want to stay.

“You didn’t want to fuck her, Ty?” he asks.

Yes, no, yes. I don’t know.

“It felt wrong,” I answer truthfully, glancing at Rose again.

“But we agreed? We’re paying a damn lot of money for it to feel wrong.” He’s right. I know he is.

“She reminds me of Rose. It just felt weird too.” I sigh. “Anyway, taking her virginity means nothing to me. She was better off with you taking it.” He has enough people’s virginities.

I had never even willingly slept with a woman until Rose. And only one since then. I shake that thought from my mind, not wanting to remember that shit show right now.

“Would have been something to treasure…” Really? I roll my eyes.

“How so, Zach? I have yours. I don’t need another.” I shake my head. He’s too sentimental for his good.

“When she might give us a child, it means a lot.” I laugh. Yeah, I guess he’s right.

“Just another for your bedpost, babe.”

He frowns at my comment. “I was willing to let you have her,” he says, deflated. Ah, yes, he was.

“I didn’t want it,” I reassure him. “It was hot watching you two, though,” I say to engage him away from my misdemeanors.

“It’s gonna be weird for a while. She’s so tight. I doubt she could take the both of us.” I doubt she could, being a virgin, so I nod my agreement. We’re going to have to work up to that.

“Hey, I’m gonna miss you these next few weeks.” He walks around my desk to kneel in front of me.

“I’ll miss you too, Zach.” I lean to kiss him.

When we end the kiss, I press our foreheads together. I hate leaving him, but needs must.

***

VIOLET

Neither of them came back last night, and I didn’t leave the bed until the early hours to pee because I fell asleep. I was probably a little tipsy or maybe even nearly drunk.

Still, I remember everything. I thought it would be wrong and more painful, but it was exciting and pleasurable.

Well, until I needed to pee, and then I took a bath with the lavender and arnica bath oil in the bathroom as instructed.

I keep thinking back to how he touched me, how they both did. I suppose it won’t be so bad. They’re hot.

They’re like the bad boy and intelligent one, so different but complementary to each other in the same instance.

I laugh. Tyler didn’t want to fuck me, and I kept thinking of reasons why it could be, and the most plausible thought was they wanted the baby to be Zach’s.

Not that I’m complaining. Zach’s big build, rippling muscles, dark hair, and blue eyes are extremely good to look at and feel.

Then there’s his smile, which has two adorable dimples that make him look younger and even better looking.

He was big, and just thinking about it makes me wet down there. I wonder if it will be a nightly thing? I smile at the thought of doing it straight after dinner every night, like last night.

I wander around the apartment after they leave. Some doors are open, and a few are locked. They have a huge kitchen diner. It’s open plan, grays, whites, and chrome. I like how they decorated it.

Next door is the living area, a massive screen above an open fire with a sofa in front. Tucked away in the corner of the room is a solid wood piano calling me.

So I sit down to play, but it’s been such a long time that I wonder if I still can. I make a few mistakes, and I laugh to myself. Mrs. Cathy wouldn’t be too pleased with me.

I plan to play some every day I’m here alone. Closing the lid and covering the keys back up, I leave it as I’ve found it.

In my search, I find their room. The bed is huge, I notice as I run my fingers over the blue satin sheets. They’re soft and smell of both of them.

I leave their room, carrying on down the hall. My room is next. I know my room well already. It is cozy, with a white wooden four-poster bed, a walk-in wardrobe, and a bathroom.

It’s simple. Just my taste, actually. There’s only one room left at the end of the hallway. It’s locked, and because of that, I can’t help wondering what’s behind the door.

Maybe the nursery for their baby. A baby that could be inside me right now. Does it work that way?

I’m in the middle of my cycle, because Lisa timed it right so I could have the best chance of falling quickly. She also has me on stupid prenatal vitamins. Have been for the last few years.

Get my body ready, she said. It needs to be healthy. I try to stow away the thoughts of my stepmother.

My stepparents have been paid a lot for me to do this. They’re taking every penny too. At least I won’t have to live with them for the next year or so.

It’s serene here, and I don’t have to worry about hiding from Henry when he’s drunk.

I wander back toward the kitchen, where their housekeeper is cooking dinner. It’s four p.m. already, it seems.

“Hello, lovely. I heard you play before. It was beautiful.” A blush colors my cheeks at her words. I haven’t had anyone listen to me play for many years.

I nod as I sit at the table behind her.

“So you don’t talk?” I shake my head. I can. I prefer not to, because it’s easier this way. I can’t say the wrong thing if I don’t say anything at all.

“Such a shame. It’s lovely to have another woman around the house again.” She smiles over her shoulder at me.

Was there a woman here before? I thought they were gay.

She sees my puzzled look and guesses my thoughts correctly. “They were married to a young lady. She was quite similar to yourself.

“Unfortunately, she was in a road accident and died a few years back. It was so hard for the boys, especially Tyler. They loved her.” A frown pulls at her lips.

It’s shocking to think they were married. The three of them. Can you do that?

“I’m sure they will love you too. Zach’s very soft-hearted.” Love me? No, I’m not here for that, so I shake my head.

“Oh, don’t worry, sweetheart. I know you’re only here to be a surrogate.” I nod, relieved.

“Nevertheless, they get attached very easily. You’ll be part of the furniture in no time.” She smiles again.

Or on the furniture. I smile to myself.

I busy myself reading the papers on the table. There’s not much in them that interests me. Still, I read a few articles to keep myself busy and occupied.

Time ticks by until our dinners are on the table. Catherine leaves me sitting with the plate steaming in front of me. They’ll be here soon.

I haven’t drunk any alcohol today, so I busy myself smoothing my hair with my fingers, teasing a few knots.

My tummy somersaults when I think about the fact that I haven’t seen them since Zach fucked me last night.

And as I remember him making me strip, a blush makes its way over my skin. Am I in for the same tonight, or will it be Tyler instead?

My errant thoughts run wild with me. Considering I’ve never dreamed of being shared by more than one man, it’s unusual that I am now.

Then he’s there. Zach’s staring at me from the doorway, leaning against it with a slight smile on one side of his face, one dimple looking at me, begging for me to lick it.

How long has he been there, and how long have I been lost in my thoughts?

I didn’t even hear him come in.

I look down at my plate, the food still steaming.

Sausages, couscous, and some red sauce with onions.

He couldn’t have stood there long, but heat spreads across my cheeks.

“Evening.”

I nod to him, keeping my eyes down.

“I’m not on the table, Violet,” he says sternly, so I find myself looking up, shocked.

He’s seated across from me now, looking very at home in his kitchen.

“Why do you look down?”

Because that’s what I’ve been taught, I want to say. Plus, not looking stops me from getting beaten.

“How was your day?” he asks.

Is that a rhetorical question? I look around the room and find it’s only us in here.

I chance a look at him from my lashes. He’s staring right at me, so I quickly look back down and pick my fork up to distract myself.

“I know you can talk.”

I blush as the foul word that left my mouth last night surfaces, so I screw my eyes shut.

“Ah, you remember,” he laughs.

Of course I do. That word would typically get me beaten.

“You’re lucky Tyler was in some weird mood last night. He would normally teach you a lesson about having a foul mouth.” I gasp, my fork falling from my hand.

As I close my eyes and breathe, it lands with a significant clatter on my plate.

Is he just like my stepfather?

“Hey, that was a joke.” He reaches over and picks my fork up. “Here. Carry on eating.” He hands it to me, so I take it, keeping my eyes down with my cheeks still burning.

“It’s weird having a one-sided conversation.” He scrapes his couscous from his plate, placing it in his mouth with a small happy groan.

“Can’t you just talk to me?”

I frown. I could, but I don’t know if I’m safe yet.

What if they report everything back to Henry?

I can’t risk myself saying the wrong thing.

Fuck. I put my fork down, because the nerves make me not hungry.

“You don’t eat much.”

I muster the courage to look at him with a frown. That’s because I don’t usually get three meals a day, I think sourly.

“Don’t you like it?” he asks, so I shrug. Yeah, it tastes okay.

I toy with my lower lip until he gets up and clears his plate.

“Are you done?”

I nod, so he clears my plate too. Leaving the room without a glance back, he leaves me in my silence, which is when I release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

I wait for him to return, but he doesn’t, and Tyler is nowhere to be seen.

Doesn’t he like me?

I clean the dishes and leave them to dry on the rack by the sink, helping myself to a glass of water before I wander back to my room.

Zach’s in his bedroom as I walk past. He is pacing while talking on the phone. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but listen to him.

“So you’re leaving it to me to fuck her for two weeks?” The person on the phone answers him as I lean against the wall to listen to Zach.

“How is it this bad?” He paces some more.

“Do I need to come out too?”

“Okay, if you need the help, I will have to fly the both of us to you…” He sits on the end of the bed, his muscles twitching in his arms, and I find my mouth drooling at the sight.

“Okay, babe, I love you,” he says, playing with his ring, a ring I didn’t notice until now.

“Speak to you later.” He throws down the phone on the bed, then looks straight up at me standing outside his room.

“What are you doing there?” I shy away. He’s caught me eavesdropping. I turn to walk away, but his voice stops me dead in my tracks.

“STOP.” I do.

“Hey, it’s rude to listen in on someone.” I stiffen my spine. Yeah, I know.

“Come here.” I don’t move. I couldn’t even if I wanted to, because my feet seem to have grown roots to the floor.

What is he going to do?

“I said come here. I won’t ask again,” he says louder. More authoritatively so. I turn and walk into their room.

Stopping a few inches from him, I bow my head.

“Look at me.” I do. A smile is playing on his lips, but isn’t he mad? “What are we going to do with you then?” He taps his finger against his lips.

He stands and circles me as I close my eyes and breathe to calm my nerves. When I reopen them, his eye is like an inferno, while his arms are crossed.

“Violet! I think you need a spanking. Five smacks for listening to my conversation.” The blood drains from my face. Five smacks?

“Drink your water.” I had almost forgotten about the glass of water I was holding in my shaking hands.

I drink it as fast as possible, and then he takes the glass from me when I’m finished.

He grabs my wrist and pulls me toward the bed. I try to pull away from him, but his grip is like a vice. At least it’s not hurting, as it would be with Henry.

“If you fight me, I will add another.” With that said, I stop pulling against him.

More? No. I don’t even want the five he’s offered, so I take a few breaths to try and calm my nerves, but it doesn’t work.

He pulls me over his knee, guiding my head on the mattress, and then he moves my hair out of the way.

“I want to see you,” he says, inching my dress up to uncover my bottom, and that’s when I screw my eyes shut.

“Five smacks for your behavior, Violet.” He rubs my right butt cheek before swiftly lifting his hand and swatting my backside.

It stings momentarily before he does another on my left. Then my right, then my left, and the last back on my right.

My eyes are screwed shut, and I have a fistful of bedsheet in my hands.

My breathing is fast, but I find I’m turned on. He didn’t hurt me…

Turned on.

Wetness pools down below.

My buttocks don’t hurt as I thought they would. Yes, it stings, but the skin feels tender in a good way.

“Look at me.” I open one eye and do as I’m told.

“I don’t want to find you listening in on anyone’s calls again. Am I understood?” I nod. I nod profusely.

He kneads my butt cheeks one by one. They sting as he does, but the sensation sends moisture down below. I follow the sensation as he moves his hand lower until he’s brushing me there.

Where I’m wet. Fuck. I groan.

“Oh, baby. You liked that.” His voice is hoarse. He’s turned on, and I’m turned on.

He moves me onto his bed so I’m facing down, where I bury my face in embarrassment. I shouldn’t be turned on by him punishing me. But I am.

I feel my cheeks heat at the thought, while his tongue connects with the lacy fabric covering me down there.

“Oh.” I can’t help myself. The sensation is so raw, and I want more.

“You taste mighty fine,” he claims. “Now let’s get this thing off you.” He pulls my panties down, then takes them off entirely, so I’m laid bare for him to take.

He helps me up so my bottom is in the air, making my ladyhood open and bared for him. Then he circles his finger around my sensitive nub, over and over and over, until I squirm beneath him.

He takes his finger away then.

No. I sigh at the loss of contact.

“I want you to cum while I’m inside you, baby,” he tells me as he gets on the bed behind me. The mattress presses down.

Then he’s right behind me, rubbing his cock up and down my vagina as he coats himself in my wetness.

“You’re so wet.” He pulls my hair from my face again.

“Are you still sore?” he asks. I shake my head. No, it’s only a slight sting now.

“Good.” He wraps my long hair around his hand until he tugs softly, I think so he can see my face.

I open my eyes to look back at him. He’s undressed and looking like some Greek god, all tanned skin and muscle, making my mouth drool at his chest, and he smirks at my reaction.

Then he thrusts into me quickly and unexpectedly, making me lurch forward into the mattress. It’s painful, and I’m full, but it feels good.

I’m so confused.

He goes still and doesn’t move as he’s pressing on the flesh of my bottom, sending sparks to my core.

He’s just sitting deep inside me, so I bury my face in the pillow below me, until he pulls my hair to bring my face into view again.

“I want to see you,” he whispers through gritted teeth.

Fuck, he isn’t even moving, and I feel myself build around him, tightening around him with need, the need to chase what he gave me yesterday.

“You like me inside you,” he states.

Yes, I do. I screw my eyes shut, moving my butt against him. I try to make some friction, but he holds me still in place.

“I’m not ready,” he whispers.

I am. Fuck, please. I want him to move. No, scratch that, I need him to move. I like the orgasm he gave me last night, so I try to move again.

“Beg?” he asks.

Beg? He knows I won’t ask him. I look at him pleadingly.

“No. Beg me to fuck you.”

I shake my head at him as he pulls out and slams back into me hard. Fast. Deep.

“Yes,” I grit my teeth. Yes, please.

Please don’t stop.

But he does. He sits still again. So still.

“Beg?” he says again.

I look at him and beg with my eyes, but it’s not enough for him. He removes himself and slams into me for the third time, making me pant with the need for him to carry on, but I say nothing.

He swats my butt again, once, twice, three times, making me lurch forward and then backward with each smack.

It turns me on, and it heats my face. I feel embarrassed.

Turned on…again.

Again he’s punishing me, but it’s turning me on.

How can someone smacking me make me feel this way?

When Henry gets angry, it scares me, and I hate it. I don’t talk because of it. I shake my head, ridding myself of the thoughts of that man.

“Beg, Violet,” he shouts at me, bringing me back to now. He spreads my legs wider, then surges into me, so deep shocks splinter through my body, and my sight goes white.

I need him to move so much, so I scrunch my eyes shut as I grab the bedding.

“Please?” I shout back at him with the same enthusiasm as he does. He fucks me so hard and deep that it doesn’t take long for me to tumble over the invisible edge of my pleasure.

“Fuck,” I scream as my orgasm engulfs me.

Not one part of my body doesn’t feel the effect of it.

A few thrusts later, Zach falls on my back, spent from his pleasure.

He rolls to the side, pulling my back to his chest, and we say nothing as silence flits around the room beside our heavy breathing, and he nuzzles my neck, kissing behind my ear.

“Thank you,” he says. I close my eyes, exhausted, matching my breathing to his.