Underground Kings

Book 1: Rough Hard Fierce

I sat on my bed, knees pulled up to my chest, staring at the small piece of plastic on my comforter. It was strange to have something I’d peed on lying there, but the rest of my mind was too busy spiraling to care.

One night I wished I could erase. The word no spoken but ignored. A tiny plus sign in a small window. One thing led to another, and now…

Pregnant.

“Maybe it’s a mistake,” Shelly murmured, her eyes wide. It took a lot to shock my best friend, but this had done it. Her face was ashen, her body as rigid as mine.

I shook my head. “I’ve missed two periods.”

Her blue eyes searched mine. “I thought you two weren’t…”

She knew who the father was. Andrew. He’d been my other best friend. The only boy I would have ever considered losing my virginity to. But I hadn’t felt that way about him. And trust? That had been a huge mistake.

That was a lesson I’d remember forever. Trust was a terrible mistake.

“We weren’t,” I managed to say, my voice rough. We weren’t a couple, weren’t dating. Weren’t having sex, except for that one terrible night.

“Then how?” she asked, blinking slowly, not understanding. She didn’t want to understand, and God, I wished I didn’t have to live with the knowledge either. I wished it were something physical I could cut out of my body. But it was just a memory—and memories last forever.

I stayed silent, staring at the plastic strip. A tear slipped down my cheek.

I didn’t say anything, even when Shelly drew in a sharp breath.

She’d lived through her own daily nightmare. Maybe that’s why she figured it out, when another teenage girl might have mistaken my tears for regret. Or maybe she noticed too, how angry he’d become in the weeks and months before.

She hesitated. “Did he… did he force you?”

“No,” I lied, my voice empty. “Of course not.”

Even on that night I knew I’d never tell anyone what had happened. Not Shelly. And definitely not the police. If they couldn’t protect Shelly from her own father, how could they protect me? They wouldn’t believe me. I’d take the words—the confession, the shame—and bury them deep. So deep no one could ever hear them. Not even me.

Shelly heard them, though. Her expression hardened. “I’ll kill him.”

My heart squeezed. I hated him for what he did. But I loved him as my friend, the one who’d spent every afternoon with me and made me smile when my dad hadn’t been home in months. Most of all, I understood him—more than I wanted to.

I knew what happened at his house, even if he’d never actually told me. We were all damaged, and we lashed out at each other with our fear and our fists. It was a harsh way to live. A familiar one.

My hands clenched into fists, a mix of grief, anger, and despair. “He’s gone.”

Shelly closed her eyes, pain etched on her face. We both knew he’d left town suddenly.

I just hadn’t told her why.

I’d never wanted her to know. Never wanted anyone to know about the paralyzing fear of that night. And now there was a permanent reminder, a living memory of the worst moments of my life. A baby. I forced myself to think the words. There was a baby inside me right now.

What was I going to do with a baby?

Quit school. Find a job. Buy diapers. A sob broke free, harsh and dry.

The bedroom door opened. It took both of us a moment to react. No one else was here. No one else was ever here. For a fleeting second, I thought it was ~him~. Maybe Andrew had come back. Maybe, despite the horror of what he’d done, he’d find a way to help.

And God, I needed help from somewhere.

It wasn’t Andrew. It was my father, back early from a long trip to California.

“You girls want some pizza?” His gaze landed on the white strip on the bed. “What the hell is that?”

I snatched the pregnancy test and hid it behind me. “Nothing.”

My father stepped forward, his weathered face dark, eyes filled with anger. “That better belong to your friend there. She looks the type to get knocked up.”

My jaw tightened. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

“Then it’s yours?” He stepped forward. In the small room, that brought him right next to me. In an instant he’d twisted my arm. With a cry, I dropped the test to the ground. “Is that what you been doing in this room every time I’m on the road? Fucking around?”

“No,” I sobbed, and it didn’t matter that it was the truth. I’d never messed around, not willingly. Even that one time, when I hadn’t wanted it, it hadn’t been here. The truth didn’t matter, though. Trust didn’t matter.

He picked up the pregnancy test and stared at it.

I pleaded with him, but only in my mind. Try to understand. Support me. Please.

I need you to be my dad now.

“Get out,” he said, his voice low. “You want to spread your legs and get yourself knocked up? Get the fuck out of my house.”

I stood there, frozen. Even when he picked up my lamp and threw it at the wall.

It shattered and fell to the carpet in a thousand pieces.

Shelly grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room—and out the front door. The white strip of plastic came flying out the door after us. It landed in the dirt at my feet. I looked up at the house, knowing it would be the last time I was ever here.

The old double-wide trailer might not have been much to look at, but it was my sanctuary. My dad was hardly ever around, but that was the life I knew. I wasn’t ready for it to be over. How was I supposed to go on now?

I gently touched my belly. How was I going to provide for this baby?

I didn’t have the answers. The only thing I was certain of was that I’d have to figure it out on my own. Maybe with Shelly’s help. But I would never again put my trust in a man. I’d never give him the opportunity to hurt me or kick me out.

Never again.