From Best Friend to Bride
Auteur
Jules Bennett
Lezers
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Hoofdstukken
19
Chapter One
“You know how to please a man.”
Megan Richards desperately wished those words coming from her best friend’s kissable lips had been said in a different context. Alas, Cameron St. John was only referring to the medium-well steak she had grilled, and not a bedroom romp.
One day she would shock them both when she declared her desire, her need for the man she’d known since kindergarten, when he’d pulled her pigtails and she’d retaliated by taking her safety scissors to his mullet. A mutual respect was instantly born, and they’d been friends since—sans pigtails and mullet.
“I figured you’d been eating enough take-out junk and needed some real food,” she told him, watching in admiration as he picked up their dinner plates and started loading her dishwasher.
Oh, yeah. His mama had raised him right, and Megan didn’t think there was a sexier sight than a domestic man...especially one with muscles that flexed so beautifully with each movement.
Since his back was turned, she soaked up the view. The man came by his rippled beauty honestly, with hours dedicated to rigorous workouts. She worked out, too—just last night she’d exercised with a box of cookies—which would be the main reason his body was so perfectly toned while hers was so perfectly dimpled and shapely.
Cameron closed the dishwasher door and gave the countertop a swift swipe with the cloth before turning to face her. With his hands resting on either side of his narrow hips, he might have looked all laid-back and casual, but the man positively reeked of alpha sexiness. His impressive height and broad shoulders never failed to send a sucker punch straight to her active hormones.
Too bad he was married to his job as chief of police in Stonerock, Tennessee. Besides, she was too afraid to lose him as a friend to really open up and let years of emotions come pouring out. Well, that and Cameron and his family had been the only true stability she’d known since her parents were killed in a car accident during a snowstorm when they’d been traveling up north to visit friends. Megan couldn’t risk damaging the bond she had with Cam.
Oh, and he’d made it perfectly clear on more than one occasion that he wouldn’t get into a committed relationship. Not as long as he was in law enforcement, thanks to an incident involving his partner when they’d been rookies.
Yup, he didn’t do relationships; just like he didn’t do healthy food.
“I don’t eat junk,” he defended himself.
Megan tipped her head, quirking a brow.
“I’ll have you know that Burger-rama is real food, and they know my order without me even repeating it.” Cameron crossed his arms over his wide chest and offered her that lady-killer smile.
Laughing, Megan came to her feet. “I rest my case.”
With a quick glance at his watch, Cameron pushed off the counter and sighed. “I better get going. I need to rest before heading out tonight.”
She had no clue what he was working on; she rarely did. He was pretty adamant about keeping his work absent from their conversations. He’d tell the occasional funny drunken-fight story, but when it came to a serious investigative case, he was pretty tight-lipped.
Whatever he was working on must be major, seeing as how he’d been heading out to work at midnight several nights a week—not something a chief normally did. The new lines between his brows and the dark circles beneath his eyes spoke volumes about his new schedule.
“You’re working yourself to death. You know that, right? Between all the crazy hours and the junk food. You can’t be getting enough sleep.”
One corner of his mouth tipped up in a smile. That cocky, charming grin always had the same heart-gripping impact. How many women had been mesmerized by that beautiful, sexy smile?
“I’ll be fine,” he assured her, pulling her into a friendly hug. “This case should wrap up soon, and I’ll be back to somewhat normal hours, complete with sleep. The junk food remains, though.”
Two out of three wasn’t too bad. Besides, normal for him meant ten-hour days instead of twelve or fourteen. Reminding him of his father’s bypass surgery last year would do no good. The St. John men were a stubborn bunch. She should know; she’d been the family sidekick since grade school.
Megan kept her mouth shut and wrapped her arms around his waist as she slowly inhaled his familiar scent. Closing her eyes, she wished for so much. She wished Cam would wake up and see how deeply she cared for him, she wished her brother would straighten his life out and she wished she knew what to do about the out-of-town job offer she’d just received.
None of those things were going to happen right now, so she held on tight and enjoyed the moment of being enveloped by the man she’d loved for years. If friendship was all they were destined for, then she’d treasure what she had and not dwell on the unattainable.
Cameron eased back, resting his firm hands on her shoulders. “You okay? You seem tense.”
Really? Because she’d pretty much melted into his embrace. The cop in him always managed to pick up every little detail around him, yet the man in him was totally oblivious to the vibes she sent out. It would be so much easier if he just magically knew how she felt and took that giant first step so she didn’t have to. The passive-aggressive thing was never her style, but in this instance she really wished he’d just read her mind.
“I’m fine,” she assured him, offering a grin. “Just a lot on my mind lately.”
Wasn’t that an understatement?
His dark brows drew together as those signature bright blue St. John eyes studied her. “What can I do to help?”
Oh, if he only knew. One day.
“Nothing.” She reached up, patted his stubbled jaw and stepped back to avoid further temptation. “Go rest so you can head out and save Stonerock from all the bad guys.”
The muscle in his jaw jumped. “I’m working on it.”
“I hope you’re careful,” she added, always worried she’d get a phone call from one of his brothers or his parents telling her the worst. Because Cameron would put his life on the line for anybody. He just wouldn’t put his heart on the line.
He laughed. “Yes, Mom, I’m careful.”
Swatting him on his hard pec, Megan narrowed her eyes. “I have to ask. You make me worry.”
“Nothing to worry about,” he assured her, with a friendly kiss on her forehead. “I’m good at my job.”
“You’re so humble, too.”
With a shrug, he pulled his keys from his pocket. “Eli and Nora’s baby is being christened tomorrow. You’re still planning on coming, right?”
“Are you going to make it?”
Cameron nodded and headed toward the back door. He always came and went via her back door. He never knocked, just used a key when it was locked and made himself at home.
“I’ll make it,” he told her, his hand resting on the antique knob. “I may even have time to run home and nap and shower for the occasion.”
“How about I pick you up?” she offered.
He lived in her neighborhood, and they tended to ride together when they went anywhere. They were pretty much like an old married couple, you know, just without the sex and shared living quarters.
“Be there at nine.” His finger tapped on the doorknob. “Lock up behind me.”
Rolling her eyes, she gave him a mock salute as he left. The worry was definitely a two-way street.
Now that she was alone with her thoughts, she had to face the unknowns that circled around in her mind. This job offer had come out of nowhere.
Was it a sign that she needed to move on? She’d been in Stonerock nearly her entire life; she was still single and had nothing holding her back.
Except Cameron.
After scrubbing her sink and table, Megan was still no closer to making a decision. She loved being a therapist at the local counseling center; she loved her patients and truly felt as if she was making an impact in their lives.
The new job would be in Memphis, nearly two hours away. The new facility would offer her a chance at helping more people, even taking charity cases, which would allow her to comfort and guide people she never could’ve reached otherwise.
How could she say no?
As she sank onto the chair at her kitchen table, she thought of her brother. He was an adult, but he’d never been able to take care of himself. The questionable decisions he made kept snowballing into more bad decisions—each one seemingly worse than the last. He always counted on her as a crutch to fall back on. What would happen to him if she left? Would he finally man up and take control of his life? See just how dependent he’d become and actually want to change?
More to the point: What would happen with Cameron? Before she made the decision, she would have to seriously consider gathering up the courage to tell him the secret she kept in the pit of her soul.
This job was a catalyst for pushing her in that direction. She needed to move on one way or another...though she’d rather move on with him. Either way, she’d know if years of wanting and dreaming had been for naught.
She’d wanted a relationship with him since they’d graduated high school, but the timing to reveal her feelings had never been right. Between her parents’ deaths, his deployment and Megan always putting her life on hold to help her brother, she just had never found an opening.
Cameron was the only solid foundation in her life. What happened if she told him how much she loved him and it ruined their friendship? Could she take that risk?
He’d told her he’d never consider being in a committed relationship. He’d shared the story of the night his partner had died and how he’d had to witness the widow’s complete breakdown. Cam had told her he’d never put anyone through that.
Still, she had to let him know how she felt. She couldn’t go through life playing the what-if game forever, and he deserved to know. By not giving him a chance to make a decision, she could be missing out on the best thing that had ever happened to her.
Megan folded her arms across the table and rested her head on them. She really had no choice...not if she wanted to live her life without regrets.
Some risks were worth taking. She knew without a doubt if Cameron wanted to take things beyond friendship, the joy would be totally worth the bundle of nerves that had taken up residence in her stomach.
* * *
Cameron had managed about a three-hour nap before the christening. He’d also showered and shaved for the occasion. His mother would be so proud.
He’d just finished adjusting his navy tie when his front door opened and closed. Heels clicked on the hardwood floor, growing louder as Megan approached the hallway. He assumed the visitor was Megan, unless one of his brothers had opted to don stilettos today.
He knew of Megan’s love for breakneck shoes when she wasn’t wearing her cowgirl boots. Didn’t matter to him if she was barefoot. Cameron had fought his attraction to Megan for a few years now. At first he’d thought the temptation would go away. No such luck. Being a cop’s wife, even in a small town, wasn’t something he’d put on anyone he cared about. He couldn’t handle knowing he’d put the worry and stress of being a cop’s wife on Megan, so he pulled up every bit of his self-control to block his true feelings.
Unfortunately, Cameron had never wanted to avoid his best friend as much as he did right this moment. Dread filled his stomach as he recalled the things he’d witnessed last night while monitoring the drugstore parking lot. The events that had unfolded on his watch put a whole new spin on this case...and quite possibly his relationship with Megan. No, not quite possibly. Without a doubt the new developments would shatter their perfect bond.
Her brother had gotten involved with the wrong crowd—a crowd Cameron was about to take down.
She deserved to be happy, deserved to live free from her brother’s illegal activities, and Cameron would do anything and everything to keep Megan safe.
Although he was torn about whether or not she should find out, he was obligated to his job first, which meant he had to keep every bit of this operation to himself. She would be hurt and angry when she discovered what her brother was doing, and even more so when she realized Cameron had hidden the truth from her.
“You wearing pants?” she called out.
With a chuckle, Cameron shoved his wallet and phone into his back pocket. “Pants are a requirement?”
When he stepped into the hall, he stopped short. Damn. Megan had always been beautiful, and she always presented herself as classy and polished for work, but this morning she looked even more amazing than usual. There went that twist to his heart, the one that confirmed she was the most perfect woman for him. But he couldn’t let her in, wouldn’t subject her to his chaotic schedule, his stress from the job. Because if he was stressed, he knew she’d want to take some on herself to relieve him of any burden. He’d signed up for this career...Megan hadn’t.
With her fitted red dress, a slim black belt accentuating her small waist and rounded hips and her dark hair down around her shoulders, she stole his breath—something that rarely happened with any woman. Always Megan. Everything was always centered around Megan. She was special.
Which was why he shouldn’t be looking at her as if she were a woman he’d met at a bar and wanted to bring home for the night. Not that he remembered what that was like. He hadn’t been in a bar for personal recreation in so long, never mind bringing a woman back to his bed.
Megan deserved to be treasured, to be loved and come first in any man’s life. Unfortunately he could only offer two of the three.
Cameron had always figured one of his brothers would scoop Megan up, and the thought had crippled him each time the image crept through his mind. Thankfully, both Eli and Drake had found the loves of their lives. Cameron was thrilled for them, but love wasn’t for all the St. John boys. Cameron barely had time to catch any sleep, let alone devote to a relationship.
“Should I go back home and change?” she asked, raising a brow with a smirk on her face. “You’re staring at me.”
“No, no.” He adjusted his jacket, hating the confining garment and feeling somewhat naked without his shoulder holster. “You’re just looking exceptionally beautiful this morning.”
“You mean my old paint-stained tank and tattered shorts I had on yesterday didn’t make me look beautiful?” She fluttered her eyelids in a mocking manner he found ridiculously attractive.
He loved that no matter what life threw at her, she always found a way to be a bit snarky. Why hadn’t some guy come along and swept her off her feet? Any man would be lucky to have her. She grilled an amazing steak, she was always there for him no matter what, she joked and she even drank beer with him.
If she married someone who loved her and treated her the way she deserved to be treated, Cameron might be able to get this notion that he was worthy of her out of his head. Because he sure as hell knew that was false. He wanted to see her happy with that family she’d always wanted. But she wasn’t even dating anybody. Still, he couldn’t tell her his feelings because there wasn’t a happy ending if he chose that path. Telling Megan would only cause an awkward, uncomfortable wedge between them, and hurting her in any way would destroy him.
As she stood in his hallway, looking like a classy pinup model with all her curves, Cameron cursed himself for allowing his thoughts to travel where they had no business going. Her curves weren’t new, but when the two of them got together she never dressed like this.
It was the dress. That perfectly molded dress. He was used to seeing her in professional work clothes or old tees and shorts. If he was looking at her in a way that stirred him, how would other men be looking at her today? They were attending a church service, for crying out loud, and he was standing here fighting off an ever-growing attraction to his best friend. There was so much wrong with this situation he didn’t even know where to start.
“I’m ready.” He moved into the foyer, careful not to touch her as he passed, and retrieved his keys from the side table.
After he’d locked up behind them, Cameron followed her down the stone path toward her black SUV parked in his drive. They’d barely gotten their seat belts fastened before her cell chimed. Casting a quick glance down to where it rested on the console, Cameron spotted Evan’s name on the screen. More anxiety filled his stomach, but he kept his mouth shut. Now was not the time to expose him. He’d actually made a point to not come between Megan and her brother. Their issues went way beyond those of regular siblings. He might not be able to tell Megan what had happened last night, but Cameron would throw himself in front of her to protect her from anyone...including Evan. Family loyalty meant everything to him; unfortunately, her brother was only loyal to himself.
Megan’s bright green eyes darted up to his as she sighed. “I’m sorry.”
Wasn’t that the story of her life? Always apologizing for her brother, always coming to his defense? Megan was never fully able to live her own life the way she wanted because she’d had to play mom, dad, sister and therapist to the ungrateful punk for years.
She snatched her cell on the second ring. “Hello.”
Cameron couldn’t make out what Evan was saying, only the rumble of a male voice filtered through the SUV. Not that Cameron needed to know what Evan was saying. The man only called his sister to ask for money, use her car or some other random favor.
Megan’s head fell against the back of her seat as she gripped the phone with one hand and her steering wheel with the other. “I can’t, Evan—I’m busy right now.”
Cameron resisted the urge to pull the phone from her hand and tell Evan to grow a set and quit using his sister as plan A. The man, and he used the term loosely, had never held a job that Cameron was aware of...or at least not a legal one. Evan had been a troublemaker in school, getting kicked out of two before he even started junior high. Megan’s parents had moved the family to the next town as a result of Evan’s troubles, causing Cameron and Megan to lose touch for a year. Thankfully Megan had transferred back and their relationship had picked up right where they’d left off—with them goofing off and her hanging at his house with him and his brothers.
Unfortunately, switching schools had only made Evan angrier, resulting in his behavior growing more reckless. Now, as an adult, he had made no strides to clean himself up. Actually, after what Cameron had witnessed last night, he knew Evan was even worse than he’d thought. The man was straight up running drugs. And there was no way in hell Megan knew the trouble her brother was in.
No wonder Megan adored Cameron’s family so much. They were all she had in the form of a loving, solid foundation.
“I’m sorry, Evan,” she went on, her tone exhausted. “That’s not something I can do right now. If you can wait until this afternoon, then I can help. Otherwise, I don’t know what to tell you.”
The more Megan argued, defending herself, the more Cameron felt his blood pressure soar. He was thankful that even though he and his brothers had been hellions in school, they’d never crossed the line into illegal activity. They’d been standard cocky teens. There just happened to be three of them with that arrogant attitude, and when one had done something, the others had jumped on board.
“No, Evan, I—”
Cameron refused to let this go on another second. He pried the phone from her hand and ended the call without a word. Megan jerked toward him, but Cameron clutched the device in his hand, holding it by his shoulder as a silent sign he wasn’t giving in.
Her deep red lips parted in protest before her shoulders sank and her hands fell to her lap. Megan’s head drooped. With all her hair tucked back, he could see every emotion that slid over her face, even though he could only see her profile. Her eyes closed, she bit her lip and her chin trembled. She looked positively defeated.
That right there was why Cameron loathed Evan Richards. The man constantly deflated the life out of fun-loving, bubbly Megan. Moments ago, when she’d stood in Cameron’s hallway, she’d been sassy, confident and vibrant...everything he loved. What he didn’t love was how quickly one person could bring her down. Evan was nothing but a bully, always seeking his own selfish desires and not giving a damn who he hurt along the way.
“Don’t you dare feel bad,” he scolded, maybe harsher than he should have. “That’s exactly what he wants, Meg. He plays that guilt card with you because he knows you’ll give him anything he wants.”
“I know,” she mumbled. Smoothing her hands down her fitted skirt, she let out a sigh and turned to face him. “I’m trying, really. It’s way past time he stood on his own two feet. It’s just so hard...”
She shook her head and reached for the keys in the ignition. After sliding his hand over her slender arm, Cameron gripped her hand.
“That’s what he’s counting on.” Cameron gave her a gentle squeeze as he softened his tone. She wasn’t a perp; she was his friend. “He continually plays the poor sibling, expecting you to ride to his rescue. He’s the one who made this mess of his life.”
Cameron seriously doubted she knew just how much of a mess Evan was in. There was no way he could protect her from the end result. The helpless feeling in the pit of Cameron’s stomach nearly made him sick.
Tears brimming in her eyes, she held his gaze. “You think I don’t know how much Evan has screwed up? That he doesn’t use me on a daily basis? You don’t know what I go through, Cameron. You have the picture-perfect family. I have no parents and a brother who’d just as soon wipe out my bank account as spend five minutes talking with me on how to straighten his life out, how to help him. I’m praying maybe one of these times he comes to me, he’ll be there for more. I’m praying he’ll let me help him, that he’ll be ready to turn his life around. So if I have to get stepped on along the way, it’s worth it.”
The last sentence came out on a choked sob. Well, hell. Now he was the one feeling guilty. He never wanted to make her cry, make her feel as if his life was better than hers.
After placing her phone back on the console, Cameron reached across and wrapped his arms around her the best he could, considering their positions.
“I’m sorry.” Her silky hair tickled his cheek, and her familiar floral scent reminded him she was nearly everything to him and he’d die before he’d hurt her. “I don’t mean to be hard on you. I just hate seeing what he does to you.”
Megan’s hands slid up his torso between his jacket and his shirt, coming to rest against his chest. “What I deserve and what I’ll have are two different things.”
Easing back, Cameron studied her face. “You deserve everything you’ve ever wanted.”
A sad smile spread across her face as she reached a hand up and cupped his freshly shaven jaw. “All I’ve ever wanted may not want me back.”
What?
Before he could question her further, her hand fell away and she started the vehicle. Whatever secret longing she kept locked deep inside was obviously something she’d all but given up on. Cameron refused to let Megan give up on any dream or goal she had.
He vowed that once this major case was over, he’d find a way to make her happy, living the life she desired and deserved. It would be worth everything to him. For years he’d seen her always put her needs behind everyone else’s. And while he may not be the man to settle into her life intimately, he would do everything in his power to make sure her dreams were fulfilled.
