Desert Within

Pulling my glasses over the bridge of my nose, I stared at the text on my screen for the billionth time. I was already writing another book in the back of my mind, but I'd promised to deliver this one first.

All of a sudden, it occurred to me that I'd left Isaac with a completely empty refrigerator, and it was well past lunchtime. Should I check up on him or could he manage without me?

Fuck it!

I pulled out my phone and saved the unknown number with his name. Should I call or text? I didn’t want to seem old for some reason or like a nagging parent.

A quick search revealed which messaging app was most popular with his age group. I impatiently waited for it to install, only to find that he wasn’t on the app. I tried my other messengers and found that he wasn’t on any of them either.

How about Insta? Nothing! What the fuck? Nineteen and no social media presence? I gave up and just called him instead.

“Hi! I just realized that you have no food,” I said, instinctively scratching the back of my head.

“Don’t worry, I ordered a pizza. I haven’t had a decent pepperoni in forever!” he answered cheerfully.

“Would you like me to drive you to the fresh market so you can pick up some stuff?” I asked patronizingly.

“Sure.” He chuckled. “Can we go tomorrow? I was just about to call my parents before they head off to bed.”

“Of course! Say ‘hi’ for me!” Why did I now feel like an idiot?

***

I desperately needed to get laid, but the GuyPwr app showed virtually no fuckable guys in my area.

For a second, I thought I saw the hot barista, but it was an in-app ad for a paid porn site! What the hell? Did my phone think that I was that desperate?

When I finally found someone that could be considered a “Three” after a few shots of vodka, the doorbell rang. How? I hadn’t even swiped yet!

Isaac was at the front door in a T-shirt and jogging shorts. I definitely hadn’t noticed those arms and legs this morning!

“Hey,” he said quietly. “Can I ask you for a massive favor?”

I looked at him curiously but said nothing. It was very strange but only now did I realize that my gaydar gave me no reading on him whatsoever.

“Can I stay here tonight? I really don’t like being alone,” he said, looking genuinely uncomfortable for having to ask.

I melted under his sincere vulnerability but did something truly horrible with it.

“What happened to the independent guy who didn’t need an airport pickup this morning?” I asked sarcastically.

I instantly regretted it because he looked at me as if I’d struck him.

“That’s my dad’s bullshit. He's making me do things alone to prepare me for university,” he whispered.

Isaac had already turned around and was about to walk back to his house.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I have no idea why I said that!” I begged frantically. “Please come back! Of course, you can stay here!”

The nipped-and-tucked cougar from down the road power walked past my lawn and gave me a deep scowl. She once saw a hookup leave my house and told me that my lifestyle was a bad influence on the youth! I told her that at least I didn’t need fake titties to get laid. She hasn’t spoken a word to me since.

Without warning, Isaac was back and hugging me tightly. I had absolutely no clue why, so I just carefully patted him on the back.

“Have you ever felt completely alone?” he mumbled into my shirt.

Fuck! Was this the shirt I’d accidentally gotten some of my “happy juice” on, this morning?

***

Isaac chose the guest room closest to mine and immediately fell asleep. I couldn’t really bring a stranger into the house anymore, so I watched two episodes of my latest binge addiction before going to sleep myself.

“Mr. Steven!”

I woke with a jolt to find Isaac standing in the doorway in a pair of briefs. He'd scared the shit out of me.

“Do you know what time it is?” I mumbled, staring at my phone.

“The jet lag woke me up and I thought you were gone,” Isaac said in his quiet voice.

“Why would I be gone?” I asked, mystified.

He stared at his feet and whispered, “I don’t know.”

“Will you be able to fall back asleep?” I asked guiltily admiring his strong physique.

“I’ll try,” he said, before floating away like a wraith.

***

The next morning, I woke up to the smell of bacon. I quickly dressed and stumbled down the stairs to find Isaac preparing breakfast.

When he saw me, he smiled and said, “It's a thank you for letting me stay last night.”

He handed me a cappuccino just the way I liked them and motioned for me to take a seat.

What the fuck! I felt like a VIP guest in my own house. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had prepared a meal for me.

Isaac reached over from behind to put an orange juice on the table. His other hand rested on my shoulder for a moment. He probably wasn’t even aware of it himself, but it felt…nice.

“Can I ask you a personal question, Mr. Steven?” Isaac said while cutting his toast into even squares.

His parents had insisted he call me “Mr.” but I thought it was unnecessary considering that I was only twenty-six at the time. “Mr. Steven” was the compromise, and he clearly hadn’t lost the habit.

“After waking up to this royal treatment? Anything!” I smiled. Was I wearing a ridiculous foam mustache?

“When did you figure out that you liked guys?” Isaac asked casually as if talking about the weather.

I almost dropped my cup and spluttered, “Damn, Isaac. I haven’t even finished my first coffee yet!”

Where the fuck did this question come from? Was he messing with me or…? The only reason I decided to answer was to see his reaction.

“I was about fourteen when my dad first took me to his surf club. He was always the ‘work hard, play hard’ type, and Sunday was surf day.”

Isaac was listening intently, while preparing small pieces of egg and bacon to fit onto his toast squares.

“Dad was so proud to show me off to his surf buddies. One of them even gave me a beginner’s class!”

Isaac’s expression hadn’t changed at all. I was revealing something deeply personal, but he remained completely unfazed.

“At the end of the day, everyone would go for drinks at the beach bar but first we had to wash off the salt and sand.”

I took a dramatic pause. Did Isaac realize where this was going? Did it make him uncomfortable? He casually popped a square into his mouth and waited for me to continue.

“I walked into the men’s locker room and was magically transported to Wonderland. Surfers of all ages were showering without partitions or curtains and everyone was as naked as the day they were born.”

Isaac stopped chewing for a fraction of a second before quickly regaining his composure. Had I managed to crack his facade? Was there a possibility that he'd asked out of personal interest?

Fuck! Was this story going to come back and haunt me? Would he tell his parents? I hesitated to continue.

“Anyway, that’s when I knew for sure,” I said abruptly.

Then he asked, “Why don’t you write stories like that?”

Had this been the reason for his original question? Was he confronting me over my artistic choices?

“I guess I never felt the need,” I answered arrogantly.

“Why? I'm sure people would love to read them,” he said, standing up to make me another coffee.

Wait! Did he include himself among those people?