The Crown Lies Heavy

Liminal (adjective): occupying a position at, or on both sides of, a boundary or threshold.

JASMINE

Leaving the kids at the cottage with Greta, the royal attaché rushed me into a car and on my way to Versailles.

If Theodore couldn’t leave the palace even for a moment to let me know what happened to the King, then it could only mean that the worst had happened. All my fears calcified into the nooks and crannies of my mind on the short drive over.

“Can you please tell me what’s going on?” I asked the guard sitting next to me.

“I’m afraid I cannot, your highness,” he kept his eyes down, avoiding making eye contact. It was easier to ignore my rampant questions that way.

My heart raced, pounding in my chest so hard that it was almost unbearable. The bile was rising from my stomach, I could taste it in my mouth as I kept my eyes fixed on the horizon outside to steady myself. Had I eaten breakfast, I might have vomited right in the car.

As we pulled into the palace, I tried to do my breathing exercises. I knew everything would be fine the moment I laid eyes on Theodore. He would look at me with reassuring eyes and all my worries would disappear.

At least that’s what I hoped…

Versailles rose up above in its usual glory. Only now its usual glimmering exterior, normally so full of beauty, seemed overbearing. I was suddenly hyperaware of the responsibility that came with those hallowed halls. It wouldn’t be all fun and games anymore.

“Right this way,” the guard led me out of the car and through the main entrance.

As we walked by the staff, the sadness in their eyes was difficult to deny. They forced brave smiles at me, trying to be welcoming.

Making my way upstairs, the ceiling all seemed infinitely higher, the rooms significantly grander. Despite the space, I felt more claustrophobic than ever, like the walls were closing in on me.

One step at a time, Jasmine, one step at a time.

When the doors of the King’s quarters swung open, Theodore was waiting on the other side by the lit fireplace.

His eyes were red, the remnants of tears lingering in them.

“Theodore,” I sighed, running up to him.

He pulled me in, squeezing me tightly. I could sense that he needed me as much as I needed him. Perhaps even more than I did.

“What’s going on?” I looked up at him.

“Grandpa,” he muttered. “He was in an accident.”

“How did it happen?”

“He got into a car accident on the way back from the Opera last night,” Theodore explained. “Somebody blindsided his car, then drove off. They just drove off. They didn’t even stop to wait for an ambulance to get there.”

“Did they find the person responsible?”

“No,” Theodore replied. “They're searching for him as we speak. There are no leads yet.”

“What about the King? Is he going to be alright?”

“It’s too soon to say,” Theodore shook his head. “He suffered a significant brain bleed and is in a coma. He’s currently on life support, but they're not sure he is going to wake up.”

The bedroom door creaked open and a small nurse came out from the other side.

“Is he in there?” I asked Theodore.

He nodded.

“I want to see him,” I said.

Theodore hesitated. “I don’t know, Jasmine. He’s in pretty bad shape. I’m not sure you should see him like this.”

“Don’t be silly, my love,” I touched Theodore's face reassuringly. “He’s our children’s grandfather. He’s my family too now.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am certain,” I kissed him.

“Can we see him?” Theodore asked the nurse by the doorway.

“Only for a moment,” she responded. “We’re going to be running some tests on him soon.”

“We only need a moment,” I urged.

The nurse paused before ushering us in.

Nothing could have prepared me for what was on the other side of the door. Instantly, a synthetic smell took over my nostrils.

A scent I had only ever smelled in hospitals. It reminded me of death. The King’s bedroom was overwhelmed with medical equipment. For a second, I thought I had been transported to some high-tech hospital in the city.

Right in the middle of the room was a large hospital bed and tucked into it was the King’s nearly lifeless body.

His usual air of liveliness vanished, replaced instead by an eerie stillness. The most powerful man in all of France, one of the most powerful people in the entire world, looked so small and frail.

Tears welled in my eyes, but I fought them tooth and nail, holding them back. What if he could hear us? What if he was trying to get back to his body as we stood around him. He needed encouragement, not despair. We had to be strong. We had to stay hopeful.

The quiet was only punctured by the beeping coming from the machine attached to the King. I had never seen a ventilator before.

I watched as the device pumped air in and out of his chest. That was the only thing keeping him alive right now. His breathing looked forced. It wasn’t like watching someone healthy breathing at all. I could tell he wasn’t doing any of it.

That without the machine prompting his chest to fill and empty, he would be dead.

Around his head, where a crown would usually sit, was a white bandage. Inevitably, it was hiding some horrific wound I imagined. His face was swollen too, tashes of blue and purple painted across his face.

I kneeled next to the bed, delicately placing my hand on his. I hoped he could feel it.

Waving Theodore over, I encouraged him to get closer. He paused for a moment before approaching. This couldn’t have been easy for him, to see his grandfather like this.

Lowering himself next to me, Theodore placed his hand next to mine.

“I’m not ready to be King,” he whispered.

All of a sudden, I saw the little boy in him. The boy who was afraid of his birthright. And what a birthright it was. I too was afraid, but I had to stay strong in this moment.

“Everything is going to be fine,” I tried to reassure him. “No matter what happens, we have each other.”

Theodore forced a smile before turning back to his grandfather.

We heard someone come into the room. It was the doctor.

“Your highnesses,” he bowed.

“Doctor,” Theodore stood up, propping me up with him.

“I’m afraid we’re going to need the room,” the doctor continued. “We have to run some tests on his grace.”

“Of course,” Theodore nodded. “We’ll get out of your way.”

“I am very sorry about what has happened,” the doctor added as we left the room.

As soon as the door shut behind us, I took a deep breath in as if breathing for the first time since we got to the King’s bedside.

Now that we were alone, I couldn’t fight back the tears a moment longer. They streamed down my face in a river of grief. It was far worse than I expected. The King was barely clinging on to life.

If there was hope to be found in the situation, I was having a hard time spotting it. Judging by the expression on Theodore’s face, I could tell that he felt the same way too. Unlike me, Theodore was being much braver.

“There is nothing we can do now but wait,” he finally said, holding my face between his palms. “He’s in good hands and they’re doing the best they can to heal him.”

I couldn’t shake away the image of the King in his bed. The words death bed came to mind, but I banished them before they settled in. It’s too soon to be thinking that morbidly. There must still be hope. At least he wasn’t dead.

“Let’s get some fresh air,” Theodore suggested. “You look green.”

“I’m sorry.”

I couldn’t believe I was putting Theodore in a position where he had to take care of me. Not with his grandfather in the condition that he’s in.

“Why are you sorry?”

“You shouldn’t be worrying about me,” I replied. “Not right now.”

“I’m afraid I’ll always worry about you. No matter what is going on.”

“I’m fine, I promise,” I tried to smile. “I think I just need to get out of here for a second.”

“Should we take a walk down memory lane?”

***

Theodore and I had not been back in our quarters at Versailles since we moved into the cottage. While there were some bad memories hosted within those walls, there were also a lot of good ones.

Before we had settled in, when things were uncertain, our quarters were our home, an anchor during turbulent times.

I could use a reminder that despite my doubts, things would always turn out fine, even in the most chaotic of times, when the ground felt like it might give out beneath us and suck me into the deep dark abyss.

We found the rooms were exactly as we had left them, even stumbling on an unfinished book I had left on the bedside table.

Theodore smirked when he saw the title.

“Is this one of your special spicy books?” he winked.

“Give me that,” I snatched the book away from him and tucked it into my bag.

It was one of my special spicy books. These types of books always had some ambiguous floral design on the front cover to conceal the debaucherous raunchiness within.

Unfortunately, Theodore knew all about them. He sometimes even asked me to read out loud to him to see the sort of things I liked.

“I’m a lifelong learner,” he joked.

I assumed that our quarters had remained unused, in case we ever needed a place to stay. And while I did love our cottage more than anywhere else in the entire universe, the moment I set foot into our old temporary home I was filled with nostalgia.

“Remember when we ran away from those reporters?” Theodore asked, bringing up our first night at Versailles.

“Don’t remind me of the reporters,” I chuckled. “Those assholes were like piranhas.”

I noticed that I was talking about those jerks in the past tense, like we would never have to see them ever again. I knew this was nothing but a delusion of mine.

Since moving into the cottage, we seldom saw reporters in our day-to-day lives. Yet another thing that was currently up in the air. If we had to take the throne, our blissful separation from that world would come to a close.

There wouldn’t be a corner of the world we could hide in from their scavenging eyes.

The room began to spin.

“I—I need some fresh air,” I stuttered.

Quickly, Theodore led me to the veranda and sat me down on a seat. His hand rested on my shoulder as he guided my breathing.

“Breathe in,” he said quietly. “Hold your breath. And now release for four.”

After a few inhales and exhales, I felt better.

Theodore took a seat and pulled me onto his lap. My legs straddled his torso as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Now I feel better,” I smiled.

“With you sitting on me like that,” Theodore said. “So do I.”

Married to a Greek god like Theodore, I always had a distraction even in the worst of times.

I leaned onto him and kissed him. His lips felt incredible against mine. My teeth grazed his bottom lip as I kissed him even harder. Theodore licked my lips, toying with my tongue. The tip of his dancing around mine.

“We could really take a trip down memory lane, maybe visit the old bedroom?” he suggested playfully.

The second those words left his mouth, it was the only thing I wanted to do.

“I’ll race you inside,” I jumped off his lap, suddenly full of energy.

We took our clothes off as we ran in, abandoning them on the way to the large luscious bed.